Anger in Depression | Kati Morton

hey everybody today we’re going to talk about anger in depression why does it happen and how can we make it stop [Music] before I get into that make sure you’re subscribed to my channel and you have your notifications turned on does that little bell button next to the sub box make sure you hit it so when I upload a video you hear about it now I have a longer video about major depressive disorder if you want to know how it’s diagnosed and all about that click link in the description and check out that video but for the sake of this video I’m gonna move into why I believe that we struggle with anger when we also struggle with depression in Freud has this very famous quote where he says depression is anger in and he couldn’t be more right that’s why I believe we struggle with anger and depression because if we are depressed what that usually means is we’re talking terribly to ourselves all day almost every day and all of those negative thoughts about how things are just shitty and they’re always gonna be shitty and we’re terrible and nobody loves us and all that is swirling in our brain like 24/7 that’s pretty terrible and so if we are feeding ourselves that negativity because of our depression if all our brain can produce is just negative nasty thoughts then all we’re gonna be able to put out our negative nasty thoughts we will ask us how we’re doing we can often feel like are you kidding me I feel terrible I’ve been feeling terrible forever I’ve already told you and we can lash out and be extremely irritable and angry really quickly because inside we just feel like shit then also we talked about how depression makes the things that we used to love not enjoyable anymore so if you slip horseback riding it’s just not as exciting if we used to love listening to music nothing just sounds good if we were true foodies and loved going different restaurants everything just kind of tastes the or it seems like way too much of an effort to do anything depression takes away all the things that used to bring us joy therefore what are we left with frustration irritability and anger and I think anger and depression also exists because if we aren’t properly diagnosed let’s say we haven’t seen someone yet we just keep thinking what’s going on what’s wrong with us it can feel like we have nothing to blame for it that’s why I always talk about how important it is in any kind of recovery I’ve talked specifically an eating disorder recovery that we give it a different name and we externalize the problem maybe you call your depression you know the Debbie Downer we don’t like her she’s such a pain in the ass and we externalize it so that we have something to blame because I believe the anger and depression truly comes out of us feeling like it’s our problem and our fault and we have no one else to blame it’s all on me so of course I’m going to feel terrible and then people want to talk to me and I’m out in the world I’m just not at my best ok enough about all that negative stuff let’s talk about how we stop it how do we get control of our anger and our depression and the first word of advice I have is to not allow the negativity to take over all of your brain space if you find your mind just completely swirling around and all these nasty thoughts about how terrible a person we are how nothing is gonna get better everything is just doom and gloom we’re gonna have to fight back against it and I know that’s hard but we can do it with each thought I want you to track and I know I talk about it all the time but it’s so important we do have control over our thoughts you guys trust me write down all the things that come up I’m a loser this is never going to get better this is all my fault and then I want you to argue back with facts I want you to do some research maybe know what causes depression and that it has nothing to do with you it’s not your fault it’s your brain it’s not producing enough of the feel-good hormones that make us just Oh feel so good we don’t have that so how are we gonna feel that way if we don’t even have the ability to argue back against each of those negative thoughts so that we don’t allow it to completely take over all of our brain space and by doing this we not only shut up that negative voice we can also practice love and compassion for ourselves some understanding some validation that’s why doing research can actually be really helpful because we’re like fact-finding it’s not just us trying to argue back with like the positivity we’ve simply cannot find instead we’re gonna be detectives and we’re gonna find out why it’s happening we’re going to argue back with facts not just thoughts and as a side note if you’re trying this and you simply cannot help yourself you cannot stop the thoughts you feel like you’re drowning in the symptoms that’s when I recommend seeing a psychiatrist I know not everybody is comfortable with medication and that is completely fine therapists cannot prescribe medication however I would encourage you to be assessed by a psychiatrist and see if medication could be right for you I find it to be really helpful for my patients who feel like they’re drowning in the symptoms it allows them to get their head above the water enough that they can try the things I’m getting them to do like use the new tools and techniques we’re talking about like this thought stopping if you feel like you can’t do it medication might get you to a point where you can and the second way to make it stop is to surround ourselves with positive people I know this is hard but I would encourage you just send out a text to a friend or a family member or someone who used to check in on you but maybe they’ve stopped because you’d like kind of put them off and cancel plans last minute because you’re just feeling so terribly reach out to them ask if they just want to come over and watch a movie with you make it very very low-maintenance order food in don’t feel like you have to do anything it’s gonna require a lot of energy because we all know when we’re depressed we feel like we can’t do anything make it very low-maintenance so that you can have them come over you have someone around you who is a positive influence and that can sometimes help lift our mood and also showering I know that sounds crazy but it’s such a simple task then I know it can feel like a lot when we’re depressed but it can make us feel like a whole new person so if you find yourself in the situation go hop in that shower come back in ten minutes and finish this video because it’ll make you feel so much better if you have any thoughts of suicide if you have been trying to harm yourself you have a plan you have the means any of that please get yourself to a hospital call 9-1-1 take yourself in make sure that you keep yourself safe there’s also the crisis text line if you’re just feeling it wit’s end and that your worst you can text to 741 741 and start a conversation right now so you can get the support you need in the moment I’ll also link in the description some of my videos about a suicide safety plan and also some other suicide related videos so that you know there is support there when you need it and also you have your king Ian’s I have my whole chat available 24/7 on my website it isn’t for those of us who are currently suicidal but it can give you a voice of reason when you’re just having a really really shit day know that anger and depression is normal but we do have an ability to stop those nasty thoughts and overcome it and feel better about ourselves in their situation so I hope that you found this video helpful but please leave in the comments let me know are there things that I missed are there other ways that you helped dig yourself out of that dark hole let us know because together we are working towards a healthy mind and a healthy body and I will see you next time bye

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  1. I'm so frustrated about myself recently I became very salty about one of my frd getting into a top university and that I couldn't I told my parents about her amazing offer and then I started breaking down because I wasn't up to standards as my friend, I started stepping her down with irrational thoughts and I feel terribly about myself and I went to the cycle of feeling guilty and anger at the same time…even my frd told me I have to chill and recently I became extremely aggressive and salty I don't want to face how my friends view me and I don't want to accept how they know I'm jealous and anger about it HELP.

  2. But it just seems like the depression is me, not in me.
    Those chemicals, or lack there of, make up me. My negative thoughts, they are me. My bad decisions, are me. Everything is me.

  3. You say don't let the negativity take over and to argue back at those negative thoughts with facts, but what if the facts support those negative thoughts? Right now facts are telling me that I'm still unemployed and that I have no close friendships with positive people that I can surround myself with for emotional support.

  4. i have major depressive disorder and am suicidal but ive never found my favorite activities to not be fun anymore (like horse back riding) for the most part. ive also never experienced not liking food

  5. Hey just wanted to let you know your videos have encouraged me to reach out and finally be corporative and get the help I need. Just today I had my appointment at cmh (community mental health) and I'm starting to get counseling and probably medication I'm also going to get blood work done soon to see if it's my physical health causing my issues, and I have to wait awhile but I'm getting an actual psychiatric evaluation to figure out what exactly and what all is wrong cause i feel like it's more than they say, but we just did an intake today so they don't have all the info they need yet, I say this because alot of feeling, thoughts, and occurrences make me believe I'm "crazy" like antisocial personality disorder, schizophrenia or something of that sort, maybe bipolar, or bpd, but when I was 11 I was diagnosed ocd/odd and today I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder, ptsd, and social phobia, and the goal I set for myself is "I want to get my mental and physical health intact so I can live a stable life independently" because what goes on in my mind has made me nonfunctionable and suicidal but there is so much I wanna do with my life I just have 0 motivation or ambition, I just turned 18 and i feel like a pretty pathetic excuse for a human being and i want to get better so I can get my shit together and be successful, and create the life of love to live, it just feels like to much work and I feel like I won't be happy til I get there and my mind legit is blank and shuts down and don't work half the time like I have a hard time comprehending alot of stuff alot of the time. And I was wondering if you could make a video for people struggling with similar issues on how to put things into perspective and how to get and stay motivated and how to hold your composure when you feel like breaking down or how to get over the fear of getting help cause that's what held me back from getting help for years I was always forced into counseling but I would just say and do what I had to, to get outta it asap and I'm afraid I won't follow through with this because it's such a "burden" for me like it's so hard for me to commit to it but I know this is my last resort so any advice??

  6. What if your more homicidal than suicidal? What if you have the intrusive thoughts but instead of hating and blaming yourself you push it out, love yourself and blame and hate others?

    I think anger and depression is normal but we punish those that stop betting up themselves and inturn bet up others while we give all the love to those that keep it in. We are the same we feel the same some just learned early on to save themselves while others eat themselves alive.

    Please talk to me about this duality

  7. Once while in the middle of a depressive episode, i took a shower to get rid of im momentarily, and i spent an hour in the shower staring at the floor and another hour sitting with my towel in my room, needless to say it didnt work, but hey, maybe if you fight it as it's creeping up on you, maybe it does go away with that.

  8. In terms of research ,I hate researching about ADHD and relationships…it makes me feel like I'm this abomination that can never have a "normal " relationship. It puts me off researching because I feel like it's very finger pointy. It makes me feel even WORSE about myself

  9. lol I tried your chat ,I just got shut down about things I needed to talk about because apparently everything I said was triggering.I mean I get the triggering thing but honestly.

  10. My anger is something else all together 😩 depression had made me so bitter , and being bipolar doesn't help either . I've been called mean and a bulky since I was a kid , and in my adult life it just got worst . I've always had a manipulative streak , and I'm quick to hit and react …my therapist told me that until I get myself together then I'm not ready to go to school

  11. I went to hospital today for my depression and by God I was so angry at how it was handled , I got home and just lashed out and broke everything in site.
    This video is very accurate and is helpful.

    Thank you.

  12. Excellent video! Really alot of explaination and help. I am trying not to be an asshole when I am so depressed. Dont want to hurt others.

  13. My depression is rooted in the fact, that all us will eventually die. With which positive thought can I battle that? I tried to comfort myself with the fact that my kids will at least carry on my genes, but eventually, humanity will die for some reason or another. Even our universe will most likely die one day. And there I sit at work every day, with a boss who is never satisfied with anything we do, wasting away the best years of my life with these thoughts in mind. And everytime a positive thought finds its way in my head there's the voice again which reminds me how terrible everything is. I can't even begin to think of suicide because the thought of dying scares me way too much. How can I fight this with positive facts?

  14. My depression (Dysthymia – that's what I call it as that's what I was diagnosed with. Before they changed it to PDD) manifests as anger. I know some people get weepy or any other symptom. Mine's always been anger. I get angry at the tiniest things. When it gets like that, I know it's time to get help.

  15. You are great. You are my main source when I'm looking for arguments to fight back my negative thoughts. An I am very thankful because you put the things like in a text book so we can all understand. Thanks <3

  16. Although a good elaboration, I dont think its only just because you dont feel the "feel good hormones". What about existential depression? Spiritual yearning? Demoralized mind due to materialism?

  17. Why is anger seen more often as a side effect of depression in men?

    Do men try to mask feelings of inferiority and low-self esteem with anger?

  18. I hate my depression. That's why I am happy that I have my tools and your sound advice. Once again.. Thank you.

  19. My hurt, anxiety and depression and walls comes across as anger 😑 done with it at the moment.period.whew need a moment. Thank you for for posting this.

  20. I find it difficult to overcome my anger and depression because the people I live with will stop at nothing to make my days worse.

  21. Do you have anything on why people abuse people verbally or physically even when they don't know them??? Why do people become obsessive with one person and want to put them under a microscope and want to see what they do, eat and etc plus harass them none stop???? I would really like to know why and what causes these behaviours in fully grown adults.

  22. This is not helping me. There will always forever will be very very stupidest people in my life that will make me so freaking angry at them for blaming pathetic things on me, shaking their heads stupidly, etc, etc, whatever …smh…

  23. Along with the showering thing, brush your teeth, it always feels good to have minty fresh breath when it feels like nothing else is good, feeling warm and clean is so amazing 🙂

  24. I have suffered P.T.S.D. and depression since I was 3 years old due to 13 years of mentally and physically abusive parents of the worst kind. I have panic attacks so bad I sometimes go blind and deaf for extended periods. I have agoraphobia so bad I sometimes can not go outside for weeks. As you can imagine a job where I come into contact with others is not an option.
    I have attempted to receive disability or some kind of help but I have been turned down flat each time I tried. People that have not lived P.T.S.D. and depression do not seem to believe in it and you are automatically put into the lazy, unmotivated, worthless category and forgotten.
    I just turned 65. Guess what I got. I received a letter stating that I am unfit for work due to extreme depression and P.T.S.D.
    By refusing me assistance all this time I ended up with two hundred and twenty dollars a month from Social Security to exist/retire on. But! Now that I turned 65 they are taking eighty dollars of that for Medicare. I have as a result a total income of 140 dollars a month to live on. Who can live on $1680 a year? ILLEGAL aliens are getting what? It just isn't right. I guess that is what I deserve for being a "PRIVILEGED" white male.

  25. i think i should get angry more often instead of turn Into a moron once in 5 years. depression? broke a rib on one of my best friends 5 yers ago. dont even december it. only december feeling er had a neverending job. like hopeless. am i mässing something in my brain? i cant get angry in a normal way. i only black out when its gone way to far.

  26. I'm really having problems with my persistent depression coming out as anger. Maybe I'm irritable, and things that anyone would find annoying really set me off.

  27. I usually turn my anger onwards and it turns into a type of OCD anxiety…searching for “what’s wrong” with me. And that makes me feel worse. Sometimes getting angry and writing down what I’m angry about actually helps because then I can usually see that it’s all BS! And I don’t really need to replace the thoughts it just comes naturally once I realise what’s going on

  28. My anger in depression is born out of complete hopelessness. I can think of a million goals I have but also a million reasons why those goals won't be achievable. Doesn't help that I live in a situation where the only person on my side is my mom — sometimes, when she feels like it. My father is emotionally closed off and too judgemental (always has been, especially since he's a Baby boomer who thinks millennials are wasting their potential and buys into a million stereotypes that he didn't honestly care for when he was younger) and my brother has his own mental health and also a tendency to criticise. I feel so alone most of the time and the only thing my psychiatrist suggested was a small dose of thyroid medication and more vitamin D.

  29. I don’t know if you’ll ever see this because this video is old, but what if I want to be angry sometimes? Like I don’t actually want to, but it’s kind of like me trying to show people that I’m not okay?

  30. i cant even remember who i was before depression. i dont even know who i am before it. i always felt like this since teenage years just recently i have a name for it.. depression

  31. life is nothing but a dark pointless endless hole of despair no matter what people say to change this view is wrong everything is just hopeless

  32. When I'm angry I think I'm a narcissist. I've been thinking about this for a year. I have medication for depression and psychosis but nothing works. I'm still dealing with a lot of stress. I feel like a monster. I feel like I'm just using my boyfriend and EVERYBODY that loves me… What if I am a narcissist??? It is shit to live in my brain who questions this 24/7. Meh.

  33. sometimes i feel depressed and dont want to do anything but then if a friend invites me out im totally up for it and get decently excited? am i just lazy or am i actually sad?

  34. I struggle daily with morning anger…. I wake up and rage at everything and everyone… Then I sit in my guilt and shame I ruminate on it all day just to repeat the process again. I am disabled at 35 severely depressed and really severe anxiety and CPTSD. Uggg… Therapy 4 years in… Not sure its helping…😢

  35. Thing is that even when you do fight back it creates something that Numbs all emotions. Happiness, anger, sadness is all trapped around a box trying to get in and you can feel it but you feel empty. It’s weird even when you have people around you. You can be “happy and social” but inside you feel hollow. Sometimes it’s so numbing you feel if someone died in front of you you wouldn’t feel anything. It’s weird it’s like when I feel the most pain it just all vanishes you feel cold and hollow and people are annoying, with friends who you used to be cool with being seen as “useless”

  36. How do I help a friend who struggles with this? I am afraid to ask them too often if they are ok, I don't want them to get angry or annoyed with me. And when they are angry I really don't know what to do, should I leave them alone? Should I talk with them?

  37. In canada, the crisis text line is 686868, you have to text HOME and a professional will help you with your suicidal episode

  38. I've tried to text the depression test line 741-741 but it tells me that it may charge the account. My phone plan is on my dad's plan and I know he would NOT ve happy about that. Do you (or anyone else) know if it does actually charge you or where I can find a differeny crisis text line

  39. I feel as though I’m trying to convince myself I have depression just to have something to blame for my issues, is that something that’s normal or am I just messed up in an entirely different way

  40. Thank you so much for this video. I've recently started seeing a therapist for major depressive disorder after battling with it for about 15 years. Specifically talking about anger in depression helped a few things click for me.

  41. Hey Kati! My name is Sarah, I’m 19 and I was in a very bad car accident in December of 2018. I haven’t been able to walk for 2.5 months so far and I’ve gotten quite depressed especially with all of the pain medications’ side effects. This video is very helpful and many others are too. I’ve never sent anyone from YouTube anything but I am thinking of writing you a hand written letter to tell you my story, what I’m going through and how I’m managing my ptsd and depression. ❤️ Much Love, Sarah

  42. How do you find a good doctor though? I put off seeing doctors for years and once I finally got up the motivation to go I just kept finding awful providers. They dont help, they dont listen, they just write some crap prescription and boot you out the door with a receipt.

  43. For me personally this was the best video I found today. I have major issues with Anger and Depression…only issue I have is, in my opinion, that meds are a big no no for me – Sorry, but that will never happen again…no matter how bad my head space is.

  44. this is random but I got angry at my teacher and as the quiet kid she didn't know but I didn't know why I was

  45. I have a up lifting music play list that may help bring back ppl to center 💚 every one deserves to feel good ✌

  46. I feel like the reason I’m so angry and ride and irritable etc. is cause I have so much inner hatred that I take it out on other people

  47. I just argued with my significant other because I feel like shit and sometimes some things he does confirm things I think of myself and I explode. It's a loop of "why am I even here if you don't even like me" and symilar things.

  48. I feel so bad at snapping at my parents and friends. I can’t help it and it just makes me feel guilty.

  49. Positive Side :

    Your skin isn't paper , don't cut it
    Your face is a mask , you cover it
    Your side isn't a book , don't judge it
    Your life isn't a flim don't end it
    You are beautiful

    Negative Side :

    Your skin is paper you cut it
    Your face is a mask , you cover it
    Your size is a book , you judge it
    Your life is a flim , end it
    You're ugly

  50. Nobody likes me not my kids wife and friends don't come around anymore I think to leave this world would make them happy

  51. The thing about being angry as an expression of depression is you need help, your loved ones want to help, and all you can do is get angry. At everything, everyone. Then you feel horrible. Which makes you more depressed and think you’re a terrible person. And it cycles. Over and over and over.

  52. You made me so laugh about the shower…I don't have a shower. I'm practically homeless with mortgage and a loan, abusive ex boyfriend constantly threating me, getting me pay him more and more and more money I don't have, can't rent anything, police doesn't work – such a lovely situation to try to be happy about. There are 2 last things that keep me alive unfortunatelly – job and my car. When one of these things break…it's over, 'cause without a car I am unable to get to the job, without the job I can't pay the loans for something I can't live in. No family, no friends…this whole thing is just pointless. So yeah…I'm sad, angry, lonely af and no, it will not get better. Not fast enough for me. So it's just a matter of time. 🙂

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