Chrissy & Heather: A Postpartum Depression Story, Beyond the “Baby Blues”

Chrissy: I’m Chrissy. Heather: Is this is real life? Heather. I see you in my living room. Chrissy: Too much probably. Heather: Oh, my gosh. Heather: No, I love it, you… Chrissy: Thank you. Heather: You’re like a mom idol to… Chrissy: Thank you. Heather: …all of us. Chrissy: Me, oh my gosh. Heather: Yes. Chrissy: This is wonderful. It’s nice to be able to sit down face to face
with people instead of just typing away at them. Heather: It’s true. Your honesty about what you’ve gone through
is something that I admire. Chrissy: Thank you. Yeah, I just felt like nobody was talking
about postpartum depression. And nobody… like, it was even hard for me
to say the word depression, it’s still really odd. But yeah, I was so happy to be able to come
out and kind of be able to talk about it from just I think a different perspective. And there’s just so many emotions and moods
that go through it. I remember being so frustrated at myself for
feeling frustrated, and then that would pile up and… Heather: And then the guilt for feeling that
way. Chrissy: Yes, it’s so much guilt. It was just like, it started out like, I’m
tired, and then it just became such a tornado of like debilitating sadness. Heather: You feel like you’re drowning. Chrissy: Yeah, you really do. Heather: And so for a really long time, I
felt like this is just the baby blues, pull yourself together Heather. And I was so sad. But I never felt any of those harmful feelings. I just felt very ashamed. Just the small things that in normal world
for me just seems so magnified. I never felt like I truly was able to break
free. I felt completely robbed of her first three
months of her life emotionally, like it was taken from me, stripped of this picture of
what I wanted it to be. It is as real as a broken leg. It is asking somebody with a broken leg to
go run a mile, and you just… you can’t. Chrissy: I look at the center and how incredible
it is, and how I wish that I had known about it sooner. I wish… you know, sometimes I look back
and I’m like I wasted so many months being so unhappy when I didn’t have to. Heather: Oh, my goodness Chrissy: Because it’s so much more than just
talking and it’s not lying on a couch and just how does that make you feel? You know, it’s so much more than that. Heather: As much as I was sitting there bawling
my eyes out and pouring my heart out I need some help. I don’t know where to go from here. They saw the sense of urgency and I think
that’s so crucial. You can’t pull yourself out of it. And this center pulled me out of it, for sure. Chrissy: That’s so amazing. You’re amazing. Hope for families struggling with postpartum
depression is at Allegheny Health Network.

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