Depression | Spoken Word Poetry


It’s not that [I] don’t want to be happy It’s that despite. How hard I try I can’t bring myself to be happy I feel suffocated embarrassed ashamed Why did I have to [be] this way? I have a great family amazing friends good academic results on paper? Everything is [ok] yeah, all I ever seem to see is sadness and grain It’s like theres this burden on me pulling me to the ground and however hard I try I can’t bring myself up I can’t bring myself to care About anything not me not him not her living has become this constant nightmare and It’s just not me Society will tell me to try Yoga. Go for a walk listen to meditation. [I] Tell them that this cannot be solved by exercise or medication It’s a disease that affects every aspect of my life my work my relationship my education and to this day despite my best efforts to explain I’m always mad with mind hesitation People ask me. Why are you always so sad [I]? i Tell them I don’t know I don’t know What I do know is that I wake up every [morning] feeling like absolute shit, and now that’s become my norm I’m afraid of the world I’m afraid of put my guard down in the fear that I will be judged for something I ccan not control Where’s the fairness of it all do you think I like to watch myself ball it is all filled with hate shame love So I hide them I put up a wall That is so high you will never see my pain or any of my thoughts We create this character She is perfect she’s invincible And so I carry on living these two lives one for the public and one just for me late at night Because that’s easier than admitting I have a problem And that’s the problem Stigma is real people and it will not go away until we realize [our] mental health is a big deal It’s a hidden disease that affect so many lives wake up and listen to the millions of cries It’s a kid who never speaks or the man who’s always tired the woman was too emotional the guy who just got fired Because he was obstacle You couldn’t get us off our bed reduce mental [health], but do you think I names colleagues, neha? Depression is the hell inside of me and it eats me up daily

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  1. I am just looking back at the videos that you used to post when I first joined your channel. You are amazing and you make me and my friends so happy when we watch your videos. It’s amazing to see how far you have come and how many people you have inspired. Thank you! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️😍😍😍😍😍🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰😘😘😘😘😘💖💖💖💖💖💕💕💕💕💕💝💝💝💝💝💞💞💞💞💞💞💞

  2. i have amazing friends, i have loving family, i have good grades, everyone says im a nice girl, i always try to cheer everyone up, everyone says i look beautiful
    yet i hate myself enough to damage myself and cry at night

  3. I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS , My life is disease , it won't come out me , it's a monster growing and growing each day inside me , I think of suicide but I know it's the wrong thing , my friends and family don't seem to notice the pain I have they don't notice my depression ~ Me 19/2/2019

    It hasn't left me , it can't ….

  4. It’s not that I don’t want to be happy it’s that despite my best efforts I can’t bring myself to be happy.

    I feel suffocated, embarrassed, ashamed,
    Why did I have to be this way.
    I have a great family, amazing friends, good academic results – on paper everything is okay
    Yet all I ever seem to see is sadness and grey

    It’s like there’s a constant burden on you pulling you to the ground
    and however hard you try you can’t bring yourself out
    You can’t bring yourself to care – about anything – not me, not him, not her
    Living has become the constant nightmare.
    And it’s just not fair.

    Society will tell you to try yoga, go for a walk, listen to meditation.
    I tell them that this cannot be solved by exercise or medication.
    It’s a disease that affects every aspect of my life, – my relationships, my work, my education.
    And even to this day despite my best efforts to explain –
    I am met with blind hesitation.

    They ask me why are you always sad, I tell them I don’t know…I don’t know
    What I do know is that I wake up everyday feeling like absolutely shit – and that that’s become my norm.
    I’m afraid of the outside world, afraid of putting my guard down in the fear that I will be judged for something that I cannot control
    Where’s the fairness of it all?
    Do you think I enjoy to watch myself fall?
    Into this hole of self hate, shame and loathe
    So I just hide and put up a wall
    That’s so high, you will never see my pain or any of my flaws – I create this character and she is perfect, she’s invincible.

    And so I live these two different lives, one for the public and one just for me late at night
    Cos that’s easier than admitting you have a problem – and that’s the problem.
    The stigma is real people
    And it will not go away until we realise that mental health IS a big deal.
    It’s a hidden disease thats affecting so many lives, wake up and listen to the silent cries
    It’s the kid that never speaks or the guy who’s always tired,
    The lady who’s too emotional or that man who just got fired
    cos he was absent a lot – he couldn’t get out of bed due to his mental health
    but do you think any of his colleagues knew that – course not.

    Depression is the hell inside of me and it eats me up daily.

  5. My mom was very depressed whole my childhood. Thanks to it I was depressed whole my childhood. For a longe time I didn't fucking know there can be even something different than the depression…

  6. You under stand depression I have it too . But my depression has gotten worse if your reading this I don’t want your “sorry” or your “it’s okay “ because those words do nothing for me I feel like I’m trapped in my own brain and it’s only gotten worse nobody sees it and that’s my life that’s how it goes depression is this constant monsters bringing you down and takes your sell confidences as a challenge and you can’t fight it at one point your gonna give up I CANT WAIT FOR THE DAY I JUST BREAK DOWN ITS FRONT OF MY FRIENDS AND EVERYBODY I CANT WAIT FOR THEM TO KNOW MY PAIN

  7. Taz i was inspired by you and i’m posting spoken word poetries on my instagram. My insta is antario_beast and I would be so thankful if you guys show some support.

  8. There’s this channel that has copied this audio !!
    https://youtu.be/WyQkTJKhZLs
    You should check it out!! I love your content, so when I watched the video and realised it was your voice, I thought I should let you know!

  9. Wow, you're amazing. Thank you for saying that for those who can't, cause they're to scared
    This helps me a lot, I hope you are all right now
    Sending Hugs and love ❤️

  10. Your work is beautiful and gave me tears (good ones), felt like your words spoke to me.
    I would like to inquire if I can use your poem for a bullying project at my school so as to avoid unintentional infingments.

  11. After so long I see things culminating that the end is near and I am at the end of all and the ultimate solution is coming… I just don't see it anymore!

  12. I discovered this 2 years ago and even now, thank you Taz.
    Just sayin.

    You’re so underappreciated ugh. Tbh, I came back because someone posted a video using your voice, but it has over 3M views and no. People should go over to your channel, subscribe and like.

  13. I have good friends I have a great family but I feel like I am worthless I am useless and WHY CANT I BE LIKE THE PERFECT PEOPLE WHY ME WHY DO I FEEL SAD FOR NO REASON

  14. Depression isn't a choice. I know that.
    Tell me how I can be happy when I keep getting bad grades,when I'm ugly , when I'm unfunny, when I'm a bore, when I suck at everything, when I can't keep conversations, when life just proves that is not for me. Just tell me how. I know therapy is there and it can cure ( maybe ) my depression, but all my problems will come back to haunt me. All my insecurities, everything will make me feel like the therapy was useless, like I wasted my parents money, like I wasted their time, like I'm a disappointment.
    I choose to stay this way. I know it's not a broad opinion. I know people have it worse off and all they'd ever want is to have it go away. That's not for me. Is anything,I want it worse. I deserve worse

  15. I’m 13 and I’ve been depressed for years now. I am not depressed because I have good friends or good grades or because I look average. I am depressed because of the hell I live in. I have been raised in a household of crazy and not the goofy kind. My immediate family is the worst. They tear me apart. My sister has had to put up with it for years and she breaks sometimes because of the bush that they drag her through. Depression has no steps. Imagine life as a set of stairs going up in stages, when you are depressed those stairs because a giant pit. You are at the bottom of it trying to get up and when you do manage to find a ledge to hold on to you stay there for as long as possible but you are going to loose your grip at some point and fall back into the pit of despair. Everyone tries so hard to be happy even if it is the last thing they want to do. If you are depressed you usually smile, make jokes and be social just so that you seem “happy”. But you are not and that is what people don’t get. People don’t get that during your day you distract yourself with things to do because if you don’t you will most likely spiral and break. It happens to me all the time. I feel like there is a time bomb in the back of my mind that speaks. Sometimes it will speak to me saying “why are you like this?” And “why can’t you just be happy?” Other times it is like literal hell listening to the time tick. I hope that one day someone will come along and dismantle it before it goes off and I can’t live on with the damage it causes.

  16. I am very young I am 10 years old and I have depression everyday I feel like my life is just a loop people get disappointed in me I go to school put on a fake smile I pretend to be happy I pretend that I have happiness this happens to me every single day until my loop broke when I reached grade 3 back then I felt like a absolute disgrace I would get bullied called names like ugly or loser or even thin chopstick I am now grade five I told my best friend about this she would try to comfort me but it wont just do for me every night I would say in my head what is the point of leaving when I would still feel pain when I would still suffer I wanted to end my life but if I do that every people that loved me would have the same problem as me on one point someone even told me I was useless that i should kill myself…
    I was about to do it so I said goodbye to my bff but she stopped me and said that I have so much to live for she said that I am a amazing person and that I am not useless so I didn't do it because seeing her suffering would make me scared sad miserable so I didn't so it to this day I still have depression but I. Hope I will get better soon.

  17. The amount of times I've listened to this is unreal. I am a 15 year old gay girl with depression, mind anxiety, binge eating disorder and body dismorphia. I struggle so much and your videos bring me joy so thank you. My mum says that everything wrong with me is all for attention when I tried to kill myself and was in hospital she said I was attention seeking but I'm not I really am struggling. Thank you for being amazing and so so open in your videos you are an inspiration to me and you help me daily

  18. U is amazing in every why taz i meant way i forgot how to speel way i have been through depresión its ok its ok me its not ok

  19. I found ur channel and makes me wonderfull, this video like a screet of my mind. I cant speak english well, so sorry if u dont understand what I mean. But, im so really wanna discuss about my problem, my mental health :'( no one can understand how my condition right now. Everyone push me up to control my mind, to be happy again. But I cant. This depression caused an external factor. So i cant just to control from my own self without that "ex factor".
    Maybe, this is a simple problem. But actually, i cant to handle it 🙁

  20. As I find myself struggling with depression, this poem is perfect. If copyright wasn't a thing, I could literally take every single word. This is exactly what I'm feeling. Well done.

  21. I’ve never heard something I can relate to this much. Thank you. Stay strong everyone. We’ll make it.. someday.. hopefully..

  22. This happens to me as well but the thing that made me worse is my teacher she hates me she make me sad she made me have anxiety and im more sad scared and ive been dealing sith my health like acid and my teeth and im just 10 turning 11 my studie make it worse i got my first failing grade because of this when this subject come i want to cry but i keep it in i also create a character to be so happy but shy my family does not know me either my friend i all keep it in im just a kid my family says im ugly if my hair is long my style is comfy clothes but they don't except that and they bully me about my height my friend and family they call me a dwarf but in another language they force me to learn 3 languages it hard they except so much from me i cant do anything im so young and i feel this everyday

  23. I am going through a particular bad phase right now and I just found this video. It is so good to know that I am not alone. Thank you!

  24. My brother beats me till I can’t breath I get huge bruise on my body my friends leave me when I’m at my worst and my family are disappointed in me. I’m not good enough and I’m beaten by my own brother for it. I don’t love him he drags me down and will kick and kick me and kick me. I’m all alone and I can’t tell anyone about it.

  25. And so I carry one this two lives one for the public and one for me late at night

    That line struck me I cried cause I had depression and I dealt it by my self

    Ps. Depression it just comes and goes it will stay for awhile but it will go

  26. Hey … I had depression and it has given me a mission to not let anyone suffer from it alone I am going to take up psychology and in these holidays I have opened a YouTube Channel called fight depression…do check it out…. would you like to make a video together

  27. This is my mom ever since my dad died. We miss him. It absolutely destroyed her. He might not even recognize her today. Life can be very sad sometimes. I'm watching this to try to understand. God how my heart hurts for her. More now that I'm married and can't imagine life without my wife. My poor mom.

  28. I feel the depress sometimes dealing with fake friends. I'm also a spoken word artist, this is how we heal by writing what in our heart. Check out my spoken word playlist, I subscribed 2 your channel, please follow back!

  29. I recently started going to therapy and is assigned a psychiatrist and the psychiatrist diagnosed me with mild depression but it was because of a few reasons.
    1. My family and I were in a rush and i wanted to get it over with.
    2. I lied mildly.
    3. I was actually having a decent day.
    But I dont think that my psychiatrist really understood me and idk what to do.

  30. I always feel like I'm just a piece of mistake. I don't know why I feel like this ,I always commit mistake,im clumsy I'm stupid 😭

  31. Depression is not a choice for me but everyone has a choice. But I know how to defeat depression… SPEAK UP FOR YOURSELF…you never know someone is in depression but just say this"Dont think of bad things think of HAPPY things luke how you have friends and you have Taz."But dontvthink of ME

  32. I am fat but, I have friends
    I am funny , I have bad grades
    I am not perfect, but I am not useless
    I love the way I am and I will never change for anyone 😔😔

  33. MENTAL👏DISORDERS👏DON'T👏CARE👏WHAT👏AGE👏YOU 👏ARE. They don't care if you are the richest person on Earth. They don't care if you are the most beautiful person on Earth. THEY DON'T CARE

  34. Thank you so much for this !,I hope those who don't understand ,will after watching this .this is a problem that effects people ,those that don't have this problem don't understand ,I hope those that don't have this problem will try to understand .

  35. I would really like to use this video for some mental health awareness things I’m going to be doing soon. Is it ok with you for me to use it?

  36. I understand what depression is like. It had been part of me for a almost 2 years. The hardest part is often to resist the tought of ending everything.
    I have found the strenght in god. Understanding that all the guilt and shame can vanish and the void I had felt for longer then I can remember is the motivation and medicine I needed. He said he is the answer. I'm healing but I often feel unworthy of love.. yet he promised. I don't know if this helps you or not, i hope it does.

  37. So true for me. The people that know that I have depression think that I have only had it since my step mom passed away 2 years ago on July 31st, but I have had it way longer than that but they don't know that. I do have good friends, and I get good grades in school. Everyone thinks I'm ok, but the truth is I'm never ok. I am literally judged by my depression by my own family. So I don't tell any of my friends or anyone that doesn't already know cause I'm afraid that they will judge me for it too. I didn't say anything until after my step mom died in a car accident almost 2 years ago, I went to a therapist to see if I had depression like I thought I did and I was diagnosed with it. I lost all hope in almost everything after my parents divorced my step mom was starting to help me to get my life back in order when a car hit her car and killed her going down the interstate. It only made it worse.

  38. Tsk… I made another person too… She's brave nice funny awesome! Fearless she…people look up to her and I want to tell them don't… Once you look in the crack of my mask you will hate the sad crying monsterest thing I am…but i….I…just stand there and smile…. I smile…that's what I do… When I cry I say I'm okay… And smile… And I know I lie to myself… But I never stoped…. I'm afrade if I tell anyone they'll think I'm gross for whatever reason…. It sucks… Once I was crying then I heard my friend comeing and they asked me if I was okay… And I told them yeah… Then they said okay! And left…. I always ask myself… Am I good at making a mask and saying everything is okay when I really know its not! I hate the real world so… I have the mask on everyday… And I cry at night… And my mask falls off a lot…and act the real me… I get so confued…

    WHO am I? I can't tell… These two people… Are so different from me the real me doesn't FEEL like the real me… I feel so lost… I smile to hide and people sometimes see in the cracks in the mask and they ask me about it and I say I'm fine! And I try to forget about it… And then they ask me about it… Like say I did something in my other person then…. I did it again but in the "REAL" me… They'd ask if I was okay… And I'd say… Yeah… And smile the best and sweetly way I can to make them believe me… And they do… I always wish for SOMEONE! To see threw the mask and help me… Ask me what's going on… Just to help me and no matter how many times I frickn say I'm fine and smile they'd just keep asking… Tsk but… No one can see me… But the person I want to be…

  39. My friend, has always been sad. His name is kyler. His mom is a druggie, his dad is a drunk and beats him and his mom says nothing. Both his parents look normal. They act normal to people in public. People say he’s too skinny in school because he suffers from anorexia. His girlfriend broke up with him because he couldn’t answer his call because he had his phone taken away. He tried to make it up to her by buying all of this stuff and making a bracelet for them, another friend of mine organized for them to meet at a camp I go to, she didn’t know he was going, so it was perfect. She never shown up. The whole week we tried our best to make him happy but it barely helped. He made friends there, they exchanged numbers and he’s a bit happier. Currently waiting for school to start so I can see how he’s doing.

  40. I know all of what she says i feel or rather dont feel it everyday that i wake up. It never ends it never goes away.

  41. I write poetry and I am afraid of people reading . I don't know where it comes from I always just write when I start I can't stop I can write even 10 a day

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