Devale Ellis Gets Emotional Reflecting on His Wife’s Support During a “Dark Time” | Black Love | OWN


Four surgeries in college,
she was there every surgery. She took care of me. She helped me through
everything I had. She taught me how to
read my [INAUDIBLE].. I never had to see my academic
advisor, because she taught me how to do all these things. I graduated with 3.2 GPA. But she was just there. So when I moved to Detroit
and I didn’t have her, that first year in the NFL
I suffered from depression. I ended up becoming
addicted to pain meds. And at that point
he was almost like, in cold sweats in the bed. He was like, crying, and that
was so much not like him. Like, anyone who knows
his personality, he jokes, he laughs all the time. Like, you should see what I have
to deal with on a daily basis. So I know something was wrong,
deep down, and I couldn’t tell. And that’s when he
pretty much came out and told me what happened. And we kind of got
him help with that. And once that was– you
know, we were past that hump, I– aw, babe. Every time I talk about– that was a dark time for me. I know. I just– people
don’t understand it. You make it to the NFL. You got money. There’s women. You live in a nice house. Everybody is cheering for you. And you just not happy. And every day you’re in the
NFL, it could be your last day. You just don’t know if
they going to come in there and say, today is last day. And then you go home, and
it’s you in an apartment. Yeah, you didn’t have
anything out there. So once I graduated, I
was like, you know what? I’m just going to take some
time and come out there. And at the time,
I was looking to– I was mean when
I got back, too. Yeah, you was– I was like, who is this person? I just didn’t know– a lot of it was just
the pain medication. I didn’t know what
was wrong with myself. I felt like I lost myself. I’m my best self when
she’s here with me. My best season was in 2007. The whole off-season
she was with me. That was a great year. I balled out the
whole off-season. He did.
He was very good. I ended up tearing my knee,
and I was on the PUP list, and I ended up not
playing the whole season. But they kept me on the
active roster the whole year, I did that good. And I just felt like, it
was all because I had her. Like, I don’t– I don’t
know what it’s like to be single as an adult,
because she’s been here every step of the way.
– Right. And I don’t– I don’t want to know.

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Comments

  1. Awww that’s real love and you can see his love and appreciation for his wife ❤️I love black love

  2. Most women are like her, but no one returns the love. I'm glad she's find someone who could. Beautiful couple. Being vulnerable with each other is the best thing about love. These days circumstances make you harden your heart. Wish you all the best.

  3. Does anyone know why he was actually crying? Was the reason because he felt lonely in Detroit or was it something deeper than that?

  4. People throw around mental illness terms like it is a personality trait. It is a serious disease. So when his wife wasn't around he developed a serious incurable disease and now that she is back with him at his side it has magically disappeared yeah oh whatever.

    Lovely couple but as someone with a psychological disorders the overuse of the word depression and inaccurate use of it is really making me sick. It actually devalues authentic psychological disorders expand your vocabulary folks and I am glad that he appreciates his wife I am just educating y'all.

  5. I know exactly how they feel my husband was in the military & had his jaw broke because of a command his staff Sargent gave him they tried to hide the truth about what really happened to him. They gave him 6-8 bottles full of pain meds. He would soak through the covers because of how bad the cold sweats got when the pain meds didn’t work for his depression & pain he started guzzling alcohol & smoking heavily it got to the point were I couldn’t even help him because I had gotten so stressed & it made me sick. He’s out of the military now & he is doing much better.

  6. I salute you my brother ain't nothing like our black strong queen's i love my black queens wouldn't trade them for nothing in the world

  7. Black man, 3.2 GPA. Can CNN, MSNBC, FOX NEWS, etc talk about that!
    In Africa, the only image we have about our Afro-America brothers is that of guns, drugs, pimping, etc.
    For Christ sake…

  8. Sounds like she's describing me…Dark times is rough and it's easy for people to judge who are in the light….When you judge with insensitivity you BETTER HOPE YOU NEVER BE IN THE DARK SINCE YOU'RE SO PERFECT AND IN THE LIGHT !!!💯

  9. Yea, no. This is propaganda to keep black women trapped and acting like perpetual, life-long mules and beasts of burden for unworthy, undeserving, unappreciative black males who HATE them and will never, ever provide anything in return. This has been going on for generation after generation. Go live your best lives LADIES. Recognize the 'black love' propaganda trap for black women when it's right in front of your face – even when it's from OLDER black women like Oprah who SHOULD know better.

  10. Black Panthers Leader, Eldridge Cleaver: "There is no love left between a black man and a black woman. Take me for instance. I love white women and hate black women. It’s just in me so deep that I don’t even try to get it out of me anymore. I’d jump over ten nxxger bxtches just to get to one white woman. Ain’t no such thing as an ugly white woman… and just to touch her long, soft, silky hair. There’s softness about a white woman, something delicate and soft inside of her. But a nxxger bxtch seems to be full of steel, granite-hard and resisting…I mean I can’t analyze it, but I know that the White man made the Black woman the symbol of slavery and the White woman the symbol of freedom. Everytime I’m embracing a Black woman, I’m embracing slavery, and when I put my arms around a White woman, well I’m hugging freedom."

  11. Folk wanna talk about Black love but criticize him holding that nice Black booty! Dude put a ring on it and said "I do!" What's the problem, here….?

  12. That was just awesome to be appreciated without resentment for what you represent to someone is the most loving thing you can do and i really respect him for honoring that amd her. SO many men forget and get lost.

  13. What a beautiful friendship you have when it makes your man cry to think about. Shout out to the real men out there with feelings and emotions. Congratulations on being human.

  14. Damn, black women. Sometimes black men just need someone to lean on, and I guarantee you he would lay down his life for her if need be. We're all we have out here.

    Well all should engage in self therapy with friends and family. And we also should invest in our health – regular exercise and proper nutrition.

  15. I enjoy seeing couples that love and appreciate one another. They bring out the best in one another. God bless them and their family.

  16. Listen!!!!! Yall Pray For Us Men please…..
    Depression is a real thing. As a man most of us dont talk about stuff like this but it most definitely affects us. I can relate to what he's talkin bout.

  17. I could feel his hurt, pain and the love. Most of us have felt this way in our life time. But when you have someone that will stand by you through it all, Priceless!

  18. It's great to see a man appreciative of a womans love…. not taking advantage of it or abusing it, or keeping her in his life but still talking to other women…we as women are made to love, made to be helpmeets… it just takes a real man to love himself enough to know he deserves it…

  19. Awww I felt that! My son is in the NFL and my family doesn't understand how much the men have to go through to push themselves to stay strong and healthy mentally and physically. They. Really don't understand but always trying to count money that doesn't belong to them. I'm so glad that Kay really loves you and wants good for you. Life can be a loney place at times but Allah is so merciful to his servants that strive to do good things. May he reward you guys with the most bountiful beautiful things in life and for you to stay strong and healthy and to stay together. Ameen. ❤❤❤ Just absolutely beautiful people Ameen.❤❤

  20. In the black community especially a black man crying has always been looked at as a negative thing, and depression "isn't real". So I'm happy that his wife held him down through it and he honor's his queen.

  21. I was about to watch the new season of black love but I had to come see my fav couple again first. Even though I just watched an Ellis family vlog, i can never get enough Kay & Devale❤️

  22. Don't Cry Uncle Devale !!! Some Of Us Are Willing To Treat A Man This Way And Some Of Us Are Not Appreciated … Itsss Okaayyyyyy !!! YOU GOTTA REAL ONEEEEEE !!!! Wish You Guyss The Best Of The Best !!

  23. He is unstable and clinging to her like a crutch. This is not an equal partnership…she is taking care of him because he can't stand on his own. It will become a weight and burden as time goes on. Needy people wear you down physically and emotionally.

  24. He play so freakin much I laughed because he’s always funny on Instagram…. but I’m so grateful to witness his emotions for his wife and how much he loves respects honors and cared for her

  25. I love them sooooooooooo much! And to see Devale shed tears shows me the realest this man is. So beautiful what they have. I hope we all can have our own love like this.

  26. I'm getting goose bumps. Your marriage should reflect our relationship with the Lord and how he loves us. This is beautiful; more than just looking good on the outside; they set a beautiful standard of marriage.

  27. Awwww these are the difficult times I love to see married couples discuss! Not that cheating, narcissistic, abusive struggle love

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