Do White People Get Stressed Talking About Race?

– Can we have Lindsay
answer that question first? – Race doesn’t pop into my head every day. Just living my everyday life, that completely comes last. – I think about it all the time and I think it’s cool that you
don’t have to think about it ’cause it’s a huge burden. (gentle music) I was raised in a very
white, suburban town. My whole childhood was
just surrounded by people who looked like me. Race was never in the
conversation so much. – I wouldn’t say that I
have talked about race a lot throughout my life. When the topic of race
comes up, it’s not something that I’m a pretty loud voice
in, ’cause I don’t feel like I have the experience to be
a voice in that conversation. (gentle music) I’m gonna try hard not to be quiet but I’ll be dealing with
people who just have, I guess, a closer
connection to the issues. – I feel like I was very
privileged growing up and I don’t know what it feels like to be discriminated against. I don’t really almost have
the right to talk about it. (gentle music) – Race is still a really big issue. I wish we lived in a
world where we didn’t need to talk about it, but I feel like we do. – I agree with you, Derek. Can’t we all just be people? But I know that that’s not real. – To say, “I’m a good white ally”, I feel inherently, that
makes me feel uneasy. – I’m also a little uncomfortable
with the term white ally. I feel like it’s very separating. – Personally, I don’t
feel like I have anything to contribute all of the time
to discussions on Facebook or social media, so I
stay absent from them. – A big, important part of being an ally is being a listener. – This conversation is definitely tricky. – The fact that it’s
just hard to talk about just shows that we all need to get really comfortable talking about race. – I feel like I was super comfortable. We were all kind of coming
from the same place, both racially, but also opinion-wise. – For the most part, we have
the same line of opinion. There’s always a degree
of awkwardness, I think, when it comes to talking about race. – Just a white guilt thing
that we have to deal with. – I felt comfortable expressing myself. – It was fine. (drum music) – First of all, gotta have diverse friends because someone has to talk to the cops. That’s number one. – Do you think that when people see you, the first thing they
see is your blackness? – Yeah. – I always think about how
that is the first thing people notice about me.
– Yeah but I love that. The definition of what black
is a whole nother conversation. I’m not typically a black American, my family’s from the Caribbean. so this totally different upbringing. – I made something that was made by an Asian-American woman,
and that means something. – Josh, do you feel that– I always wondered if white
people feel that same way. Do you hold that, like
whatever you do here, – you do as a white man.
– white man, yeah. – Not at all, no. – That’s like the difference, I think. – Going beyond just the
loud and the violence that is being shown,
this is a conversation that should be happening on TV. – When I was growing up, I didn’t care– I can talk to you guys and totally care because I know you and
I hear your stories, but I was not surrounded
by that whatsoever to even think about protesting for someone that I don’t, never met even before. – Which is definitely very fitting. Right there, definitely very fitting. Because of all the oppression you had as someone of color, you always feel like I have to do something so
the future can get better. – I think what occurred to me
with the second conversation is, that’s the conversation
we need to be having. – The second conversation,
I definitely did more listening than talking. I think it’s really important coming from a white male perspective, to be doing more listening than talking. – I didn’t feel as awkward
as I thought I would in the second conversation. I almost felt better, I
could hear everyone else’s viewpoints and understand from
the other side, the issues. – Coming from a place as
someone who hasn’t had a lot of conversations about
race, I think it was natural to be a little nervous, but the conversation was great. – I think they were really understanding with the fact that I
grew up a certain way. – I felt like what I had to
offer was accepted by others. – I think knowing now that
people of different races care about my white opinion, I feel like I can be
in other conversations. I feel like this was the
first step to actually being a part of this big conversation. – It can’t just be a conversation
within people of color. There needs to be white
people in the conversation. – I appreciated the fact
that Josh and Lindsay were part of the conversation.
– Definitely. – I learned some really
eye-opening things. Now that I’ve just kind of dipped my toes in this candid conversation about race, it’s totally something I’d be interested in taking part in again. – I don’t feel as scared,
I feel like I can connect to people that aren’t like me. It’s just important to come together and be a part of that conversation. – Listen, have empathy, try to find a way how you can try to change it from your personal point of view,
that’s pretty much it. – Don’t be scared, step
forward and just talk. That’s the first step. (whoosh)

About the author


  1. We're tense talking about it because we're afraid to get attacked for stating our views or failing to be politically correct. If you want to see white privilege, look at my brother. White male at one point in an assisted living home, unable to speak, make his decisions for himself, beat up and possibly even assaulted by the other residents who are both white and not white. He has been in the hospital more than anyone else in my family, just from illness and seizures alone. He's in a better home now. I'd give my legs if it gave him a better life!!!!!!!!

  2. White ppl are probably afraid to talk about race bc anything they say will be labeled or twisted as racist or ignorant or white privileged. Because the moment they say something that everyone might not agree with, it's because "they don't understand oppression". My white friends have been told so many times that they aren't allowed to talk about race period bc their ppl oppressed POCs. That's why. Honestly, i am black but i have seen colored privilage and racism against white ppl too many times to count

  3. some white people don't feel comfortable talking about racism because we are afraid if we speak our minds that we might come of racist but I can feel people of color pain and the suffering but if I join in a conversation about racism I'm afraid I will come of racist just because of what I say should not be considered racist

  4. Just remember people, these "people of color" do not represent the line of thought of everyone in their group. These are some of the worst specimens but nothing surprising, they do work for Buzzfeed after all. (The European chick included)

  5. We get stressed because if we don’t agree with everything that non-white people say we’re ganged up on.

  6. Am I the only one amazed by the lack of censorship here? Disagree with As/Is ,but they're pretty damn liberal

  7. I honestly think that it is kind of rude to do this without telling them what is ACTUALLY happening before. It’s disrespectful to not tell them that they were being tracked. I’m sorry if you disagree I just think it was a little rude to Lindsay and Josh.

  8. I use my privilege & avoid all aggressive behavior toward my race. I have my own place, I pay my own bills & I do what I want. I don't care what others think of my race. I don't interfere with other races nor do I care what they do with their life.

  9. "People of color" allow these liberals to generalize them and call them "poc"s lol. Liberals are the most racist lunatics out there.

  10. I can understand why white Americans feel uncomfortable talking about it since they are usually seen as the cause of the racism in this country, but in my personal experience Indian people are the most racist people I have ever encountered . It is disgusting how they treat any black person though they have some of the darkest people in the planet.

  11. As a proud German guy, my fellow german brothers and sisters, it seems as though most of us aren't proud of our great heritage these days. No one openly share with others that we're from Germany. We refuse to speak german even when others ask us to. What happened to our great German pride? We must wake up!

  12. OF COURSE SHE WAS TENSE! white people are always called for things surrounding race so obviously she will be nervous she doesn’t want to be accused of being a racist !!!

  13. Look , it’s as simple as this.
    I live my life. We turn to dust. This body is our temporary shell. We should respect eachother’s shells. We should love each other and hate each other via personality and not color. For the energy of the person lives on , but color and flesh rots to bones. Therefore race never mattered in the first place. Just my 2 cents!!

  14. Anything to make leprous creatures feel better about themselves….and use stupid azz people of color to do it.
    I say fk all yall

  15. of course the girl was nervous?? like white people are always accused of racism so she was scared of that probably. i mean being accused of being racist (even without any sort of proof, if actually racist that is of course bad) is like a social death sentence at this point. stop demonizing white people, please. we have no control over anything our ancestors did.

    EDIT: Jesus this comment section is toxic. Fa right and far-left fighting everywhere, you've been warned.

  16. Of course we get nervous when’s talking about race. Like if you were to do one simple thing like disagree they obnoxiously yell RACISSSST

  17. People of no melanin don't have any culture.
    Making this world vulgar on the name of modernization.
    On the name of westernization rationality no morality.

    Copying black culture thier music,dance,dress up.

  18. Ofc. I’m Hispanic and I don’t worry about being called racist so I’m not very tense. I can mention race pretty easily. But in 2016 when people were calling people racist just for saying “black”, yeah I was tense.

  19. Okay to my fellow Caucasians, i didn't get the memo that we were discussing how to approach the race issue, I just did it as i always have, "hi your white, be my friend" "hi your black, be my friend".

  20. yes cause if we mentione dliterally anything that yall dont like, suddenly we n=have no job and our friends are gone

  21. Tbh what is sad is the “bubble” culture where people see things and convince themselves those things are not there. Tbh that borders on delusional if you ask me.
    Asking if white CULTURE, not white people, is racist is rhetorical.

  22. We get nervous because we don't know all the things that come across raisest so we are scared to get into trouble

  23. White peoples stress talking about racism, because they were never taught anything about other races being discriminated because of ignorance and privilege . All American news just show the bad side of Black for stealing chips in a store. When they don’t show a black 14yr asking for directions and getting shot for that. They want to show the negative side of black people. Black people aren’t out here starting a riot and killing bunch of white people or shooting up a school for getting bullied for their hair. You may not be racist but you may be ignorant.

  24. I’m white and I can understand how it sometimes can be uncomfortable talking about race, but in general, really there’s no need to be stressed about it. People don’t just assume I’m racist because of the color of my skin, I think we’re sometimes too hung on the perception that we look at each other as a different race The reality is we might notice someone might have a different accent or they may be Asian, Somewhere from Latin America, or European, etc, but there’s no need to feel embarrassed talking about race. I’m not excluding the concept that of course yeah it can get awkward sometimes, but I feel like that applies to anyone, especially if someone makes an awkward racial joke which applies to me, it can get awkward.

  25. And of course it’s important to talk about racial issues, we need to address these things in our society and we need better understanding of each other

  26. we don’t like talking about it because we feel like whatever we may say can offend other races like that, maybe because they may get easily offended.

  27. White people don't have the burden of representing their entire race. If one white person does something bad, that person is judged as bad. If someone is black, Latin, Asian everything we do is somehow representative of the entire race. That's what white privilege is….

  28. wow, this is very real and true. We all need to listen and have empathy. but that is not always the case. Being an Asian American living in the South. I hear about racism all the time and especially because all the separation. If we all care about being supportive of each person that has differences. I don't believe there would be so much conflict. I know it has been happening slavery will always be remember. It was the time that most African Americans were held captivate because they were sold as slave owners. That is the hardest part for them to hear and deal with. I believe that is why a lot of African Americans just feel that they were not treated as people but more like dirt in my opinion

  29. Don't say that I am Chinese and i won't get offended. lord jesus i hear that all the time. i used to hear that from a lot of teenagers oh are you Chinese? you look like it. It's sad.

  30. White gangs a majority:

    White supremacist prison gangs on the rise:

    White people & the safety net:

    White prison population (federal & state)

    White local jail population on the rise:

    White people lead the way in Mass shootings in America:

    "Most family violence victims were white (74%)…Most family violence offenders were white (79%)"

    "Among family violence offenders in

    State prisons in 1997, most were male (93%), 6 out of 10 were white"

    "In about half of all murders in 2002, the offenders were white. Sixty-five percent of family murderers were white; an additional 30.7% were black; and 3.9% were some other race."

    "Most people who commit murder-suicide are non-Hispanic white males who kill their mates or former mates."

    White men lead the way in DUI incidents:

    White adults lead the way in opiod addiction:

    White people & alcoholism:

    "White males accounted for 7 of 10 suicides in 2016. The rate of suicide is highest in middle age—white men in particular."

    The Myth of Immigrant Crime:

  31. Being Italo-Mexican, I was always the odd one out, but I become tense when talking about race because my race was pretty rare, I have no intrest in race, that's not my concern even still I dont care, your race not important because of your point of view.

  32. I am white, and I’m on most discriminated against every day. so saying that it’s not on both sides of the aisle is totally false(!)

  33. I think white people made me ambitious, after reading about studies of racial discrimination in employment and glass ceiling to be lower than what’s its for women I think If I wish to rise up in society my only option is to open my own company. Infact, after this new global surge in white supremacist ideologies I’m sure I will work on my own company than working for a racist white man.

  34. I mean, quote what are called, white people, on my eyes your not white you just have light skin that's all for me to call you white, I must see you when the lights are out,. Imao😊😋😎

  35. This what white people did they brought africans to the america and started disturbing them and the native america just to have this false sense of priviledge .

  36. Everyone wants revenge on white people for things that happened when
    they weren't even born. Anti white propaganda and serving immigrants new
    life on a silver platter while we have to work for it is forcing us to be racist

  37. White people are not allowed to talk about race and it makes us uncomfortable because everything we say will offend someone so we don't participate in those topics its really that simple.

  38. They shouldve gotten and African American dude to talk about racism experienced as a Black male since he wanted to make the distinction that he was from the Islands.

  39. They're tense about it because whites don't wanna admit blacks are right about the conversation of race,and that they are still comfortable doing nothing about it

  40. I'm not racist but…… WHY don't white people talk about the mass shootings that are rising in America…. I'm an African by the way

  41. Fuckin hate white people. Also don’t like blacks, latinos, asians, arabs, pacific islanders, or indigenous Americans. I hate all humans..

  42. I feel like this isn't that complicated of a question. Are white people stressed when talking about race? Of course we are. It's such a dangerous topic for us because we have to walk on eggshells with everything we say knowing that the most innocent statement can be taken and misconstrued as some sort of evidence of our incredibly evil and racist minds.

    It really sucks because I'd like to think that we can work together and make the world a better place and based on individualism but its tough to do that for a number of reasons.

    For the white people (although in my experience there are few white groups of people that are ideologically homogeneous) it can often feel like we're going to be looked at as demons in human skin no matter what we do for the actions of people in the past (most of which who were long dead before we were born) and that even if we agree with the black identity movement we're Still racist and benefiting from the white privilege that exists somewhere in the ether that we can do nothing about. It also seems at least to me that there is a double standard for white people and people of color. People of color can say anything up to and including, "white people should be exterminated." and nothing will happen to them because of it many will even agree and discuss it openly. But if a white person says negative about black people for instance, they'll get torn apart, social and societal ridicule and it will be a permanent black mark on them. And that nonsense about people of color cannot be racist.

    It just doesn't make much sense.

  43. Of course they are.

    Apparently whites aren't allowed to talk about racism or race so we just don't want to have that conversation, which only makes us seem worse. It's damned if we do. And damned if we don't.

  44. I think about my race and my identity every single day. I am biracial. Partially white and partially Korean. Almost everyday, my asian “friends” say that I am not asian enough. That I don’t belong. I am ridiculed for being white and absolutely hate myself for being white. I don’t associate myself with white people of the past, I don’t accept the awful things they did, and I don’t condone anything. Recently I was harassed by a black girl my age on various occasions and by definition, she even sexually harassed me once. I’ve been sick to my stomach ever since and really struggling with my identity. She is blaming me for something I was never apart of and I only treated her with kindness. I understand the history and I feel guilty, but I don’t think I should. I don’t identify with any of the past.

    The other day I was having a great conversation with two friends I made. One from the Dominican Republic and the other didn’t say (but he was not white). We were having tons of fun at the beach and pool. Our ethnicities were irrelevant. When we told each other our names, the first thing they said was my name was basic. Its a typical American name. We were having a great time, but now because of my name it builds a barrier between us. I quickly defended myself by stating that I was Korean and stating my Korean name. Then some respect was restored. By being labeled as white, I am put into this confined box. They immediately starting talking about trump. After they said something offensive towards trump or Hillary, they said “no offense”. I gave them my views and its almost like they were shocked. Just because I am white does not mean I support a white person. I have no support for trump nor Hillary. Even though Hillary is a woman, I’d still rather wait a lifetime for a GOOD QUALIFIED woman to run for office before I vote for Hillary. I am American, so yes, I participate in the American culture. That does not make me a racist nor does it make every white person in America a racist or a Chinese woman or an Ethiopian man, etc. I admit, if I did not have the Korean influence from my mom and grandmother, then I may have had different views. My father (white), though, is probably the nicest man ever and does not condone or encourage white supremacy. I wish we could look past the color of our skin and stop labeling people. Martin Luther King said, “Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.” Why should people of other ethnicities be allowed to be racist towards white people? How will that solve anything? We should be allowed to express our grief, but we should not hate on white people who do not participate, condone, or encourage any of the awful behavior the white people of the past committed.

  45. If race isn't an issue with whites, why was there a Holocaust, why are gypsies seen as thieves, why does the term " Irish twins exist", why do people call Russians drunks, the French snotty why are iberians not considered white? Why do people call those in the Appalachian mountains trash? Why were Germans, Italians and Irish immigrants looked down on in the 1900s. Why Jersey shore why?

  46. I didn't think race was a big issue until I was done with High School. I thought everyone got along just fine, I mean I knew about Americas history on race, but I thought when I was in High School, that race issues were all done with. I graduated in 2006, believing America was this solid united front. Sad to hear about the truth later on. I woke up to reality, and sometimes I wish I can go back to sleep, but I'm glad now, that I know the truth.

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