dont tell this to someone with depression

Sawadeekrab! What’s up, everyone? So I’m Eythan and I’m here again. There was this person and I met online and everything was going well and suddenly, my diagnosis of major depressive disorder was brought up and that I am under medication. Then suddenly,
he told me, “It’s all in your head; “You’ll be cured, and be happy,” “I’ve been
on that dilemma” and then we debated. Then after that, he blocked me. It’s normal enough for a human being to comfort and oftentimes when we see a sad person or someone going through something, our first reaction is to comfort and talk to them. I’m really grateful that there are people that caring and very supportive everytime they see people who are going through something but sometimes, because they don’t know what you are going through, it becomes offensive and ends up that they’re fighting and the diagnosed person gets frustrated. Just like what happened
last time, I have a friend who has a friend who has depression and because he knows that I am diagnosed, he asked me a way on how to talk to his friend because at the end, they fought. It’s because my friend didn’t know how to talk to a person with depression. You know, you always seem happy. Why are you depressed? Yes, I am depressed, which means I should have bangs, I listen to emo songs, I have eyeliner, I should always wear black. That’s how people perceive depressed people. You always seem happy so you are not depressed. Most of us don’t want to see you (see us) that we are going through something. or even start an awkward conversation about how we feel Because sometimes we can’t
explain it. And we are really trying our best to smile and be happy
so every time we are at the workplace, we don’t just look grumpy we smile
because positive vibes Share positive vibes to everyone even if deep inside, it’s not positive. It’s already a big achievement for us to make others happy. So here’s the thing: Not because someone seems very happy, it doesn’t really mean that he is not going through something. You are so lucky because many starving Filipinos, and going through something worse. Doesn’t mean that there starving Filipinos, I should automatically ignore what I’m feeling now. The frustrating line is: “Some people feel worse than you do.” It ignores the fact that there are different levels of sadness Doesn’t mean I have forgotten the starving people or those feeling much worse that I also need to forget what I’m going through right now. There are much sadder and starving people or those who lost loved ones, but I also have my own problem so it’s not a valid reason to tell us that there are much worse scenario so you have no right to be depressed. “It’s all in your mind, let it go!” When someone has cancer, you don’t tell that person to stop having cancer. You don’t just snap it out. Try telling someone with lung cancer that “It’s not lung cancer, it’s just in your
lungs.” “It’s just a phase. I was depressed once and it was gone.” “Sadness” and “Depression” are two different things. If you are sad for weeks, months or years, it’s not just “sadness”, Maybe, you’re now feeling depressed. I truly gets other people’s point to make you feel that you are alone. But the idea that you compare your short term sadness to my long
time battle against depression, it’s a bit unfair on my part. “Have you tried seeing a faith healer?” *long frustrating and miserable grunt* “You’re just using your depression
more as an excuse.” “You’re staring at your computer, you’re
lazy.” “You are not going out with friends, you’re an asshole.” “You are not getting
up of your bed, you are lazy.” “You are failing grades, you are stupid.” These are the lines that people say because sometimes, they really don’t understand. Can’t you see that trying? I’m trying my best to finish all my tasks. But it’s always my mind that hinders me not to finish things Because I can’t help it.
I always lose focus. There are days that I just want to be on bed like a burrito Not because I’m lazy but because I feel that there is no worth with getting up. Here’s the thing: I don’t use my mental illness to be an asshole. “You’re just trying to be high maintenance.” Okay, so first of all, medication costs 2,500 THB, good for three weeks. plus your therapy that costs around 900 to 1,500 THB. That is here in Thailand. How much more
in the Philippines? More costly? Why would I make up an illness that hurts my pocket? Here is the society’s stigma: They think that depression is only for rich people. But they do know that even those
poor and middle class, they can still suffer from depression.
And one stigma that our society has they don’t believe in
mental illness So they say that you’re just making it up, like what I said before about laziness . “You are just making it up, you’re actually lazy. You are not depressed. You are lazy.” But it’s hard to
explain. This is the most frustrating part when people say that you are just making it up or being finicky. (Joey De Leon, a Filipino artist, made a statement that depression is not real.) “Why are you depressed?” 3X This line is not offensive but I still want to add this to the list. “Why am I depressed?” I also don’t know! I have no idea! It’s hard to explain why I’m depressed and I just want to be on the bed and that’s it. I don’t know why. Sometimes, it’s frustrating because people are always asking, “What really is your problem?” “I know you have a problem, you just don’t wanna tell.” But there’s none! And that’s the offensive part when there are repetitive questions like “What is your problem?” When we say none, there’s none. That it just enters our mind to be depressed. If only I knew the reason, it would be better for me and my therapist to solve the problem I have. But yeah, there’s none. We don’t know why. I am trying. We are all trying, so please
don’t make it harder for us. The reason why we can’t be vocal about what we are feeling now or the mental illness that we have is because
of the stigma that the society has. But of course, we are trying to explain it to everyone but sometimes, they’re always blocked with stigma. That’s why when we tell you that we need space or time, we actually need time. We cannot everything to you. Just think about us imagine if we’re able to explain properly what is mental illness and we break the
stigma, it would be a win-win process. There will be no more video like this educating
people of the things not to tell to people who are depressed or
with mental illness. I will be making another video about how to talk to
people with depression. I will see you guys again next week. BYE!

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