DYSPHORIA AND BODY POSITIVITY


[intro music] Hey everybody, it is me Chaseypoo, today I am going to be talking to you in front of my cat wall! It’s been such a long time and I wanted to bring it back just so that we can like You know have like an open conversation. Today, I’m going to be talking about body positivity despite dysphoria and now I want to like disclaimer this that this might be triggering for some people and also to keep in mind that this is not going to be the case for everybody. I’m speaking from my own experience, and I’m going to be speaking from kind of like the experience of somebody who’s talked to a lot of people and kind of like Transitioning for a while, and I don’t know what I’m talking about right now, but we’re gonna get into it So what does it mean to be body positive? So that definition could actually be different for literally every single person that watches this video For me body positivity means that I’m comfortable in my body. I’m able to embrace my body I’m able to love my body or parts of my body I’m able to… I don’t know post a picture of myself and my body and write some type of like inspo quote or Message or paragraph about you know how this is hard for me and stuff like that So for me my own definition is to be vulnerable and to show other people But for other people body positivity could be really towards them So I also have that where I need to become more body positive for myself. I have a lot of issues right now with weight Because I have IBS and everything that I eat right now is upsetting my stomach and I’m very bloated None of my clothes fit me. I have to wear this which is like a medium and like It’s very very loose. It’s like a loose medium It’s kind of like a large and for me it’s hard to accept that but body positivity for me regarding that aspect for example is to understand that there’s nothing that I can do. I could try to Try different diets and stuff like that, which I have done in the past. Please don’t give me advice on that But also realizing that this is my body and I need to accept it and love it and embrace it. Now I have tried to do this my whole life and it’s been very hard And then when you tag on there is like the trans aspect, I feel like it’s even harder because… I’m talking about my own experience Okay, so please don’t say like “oh look Chase said you just have to like think positively and you’re gonna be good” that’s -that’s not, okay, but from my experience, I Have a lot of dysphoria and I feel like sometimes it’s hard for people to believe that because I preach about how you don’t need dysphoria to be trans and how I went off of testosterone and I Don’t really talk about a lot of the dysphoria that I have or I talk a lot about like I have bottom dysphoria but I also like to have sex and it kind of causes a little bit of confusion for some people online and I’m just here to explain kind of my situation and how I feel I Do have a lot of body dysphoria. I don’t like my hips and My butt I like I don’t mind it. I got that booty But my hips they really do bother me if I’m wearing like a jock strap or tight underwear Wear like the fat on this side will kind of come out and I’m trying so hard to like Tell myself like some cis guys have hips and that makes me feel better and that helps me kind of Give myself more positivity in something that I’ve been Fuming over in my head for years and not that it’s like that an instant I still have issues like even today I did a bunch of reviews where I’m like trying on underwear and showing packing and stuff like that and There was a part where I was looking and it was really digging into me Because the underwear I think was a medium and I should have got it at large But at the time that I got them I didn’t have this IBS problem So I was feeling like really self-conscious. But as I was looking at like the viewfinder of the camera I was like You know what like whatever I’m sure that I’m not the only one that has a body like this and if somebody else sees that and it makes them feel better than I feel better and I don’t know how to explain that but it’s -it’s kind of like predicting somebody’s Reaction, which is not very good. But because I know that there is no way in the world that I’m alone Okay, in thinking that wearing a jockstrap that is tighter makes my fat on the side come out and it makes me dysphoric. There’s no way I’m alone Okay, and I know that there are other people have talked to me about that I’ve talked about that with like Mike and Aaron and stuff like that and other people So I know I’m not alone but thinking in my head like you know what it’s okay. I’m gonna show this on camera Because for me showing it on camera is therapeutic because I’m showing it to myself I’m doing a lot of this work and this body positivity work by myself but because I’m doing it in front of a camera like it’s like Reflection because then I get to you know review and edit this video like once or twice after I record it So I again I’m reflecting, self reflecting on something that I already said So I’m kind of like preaching to myself Which makes me listen to myself more because then I realize there are people in my position who are going to listen to this Does this make sense? And yes, I’m like, oh, you know what? It does make sense. My body does look fine This is what a normal body looks like what is even a normal body? No one knows like everybody has a normal body It’s their body. You know what I’m saying? Like, there’s no such thing as a ideal body So for me to kind of understand this in regards to my transition and other things in my life have really helped me so I used to have a lot of just worry about not having facial hair and The thing that really helped me and to be positive about that was to like think in the future one day I might have a beard and I do. It’s a little bushy right now And I probably should shave it but whatever. So in terms of like body positivity in a sexual way I kind of want to go into because it’s super important that we don’t skip over that because Sex is like talked about in our community, but not a lot It’s either we’re like fetishize so it’s like too much sex or it’s like no sex at all or we’re not sexualized, We’re not sexy or desirable in a sexual way. No one wants to have sex with us So we need to find this like medium. We’re like we’re accepted just like everyone else so in terms of sexuality and Sexually in my body using it in a sexual way and being positive about that. I think that having Sex and talking about it openly on YouTube and doing all these reviews have helped me so much, tremendously Throughout the years because I have become way more comfortable with myself sexually. Yes I still have bottom dysphoria, but I like to imagine that I have different parts when I have dysphoria sometimes I absolutely don’t and I’m like “Do anything. I love it do that, do this” and other times like “don’t you dare go anywhere near there” I don’t know why I’m like that it just it fluctuates It goes up and down that’s completely normal that happens to a lot of people that I know But despite this I still try to find a way to embrace my body and own it, and love it My body has been lacking Agency ever since I was a kid, ever since the doctor said it’s a girl ever since I was put in dresses and was forced To have long hair and was forced to put makeup on I have never had agency over my own identity and my own body so being able to kind of reclaim my own body in a sexual way and be sex positive and in turn be body positive and show my body even though sometimes I’m a little bit uncomfortable and it’s dysphoria or it’s just like weight or You know hips whatever it is or it’s that I don’t have a dick honestly, whatever it is I try to embrace my body as it is and Accept the body that I have and love the body that I have because I know that for this moment in my life There’s nothing that I can do or the things that I can do or like you know I can wear a packer and I have found things over the years that have definitely helped me out with my dysphoria but it -it was really Mind-blowing to me that all of this work for all of these years have really actually helped me where I think about my body and I can have sex and I can be sexual -a sexual person and Take sexy pictures and like feel good about myself and I think that the big problem here is that we don’t have a lot of that Representation we don’t have a lot of like sexy, like tasteful good nude trans people in the media because that’s… I don’t know not desirable or again too fetishized and it would be great to Embrace that and not just people who are very buff enough There’s nothing wrong with that but different body types. Like I would love to see my body type Out there, it would make me feel like awesome like look at that that person is so confident and they have my body type and I think that when I think those things I Think oh shit. I’m in the public. I’m not on TV I’m not in movies nothing like that But I’m on YouTube and a lot of people watch me and a lot of people follow me on Instagram So I… I don’t feel pressure to post positive things and body positive things because I say when I have dysphoria and it sucks But I think like oh shit, I should do something. I should be that person that posts a picture of me naked somewhere in British Columbia in beautiful wilderness, near the water and mountains and the forest and beautiful beautiful things where I’m naked and I feel good about myself and my body and you know It’s funny because go to Vancouver every year Because I want to move there but every summer I go for like two weeks and I go camping and stuff like that So the… one of the first years that I went… the first year, actually I went backpacking I went into the lake where my friend was already naked and then I took my shorts off and then threw them but I was like super uh uh, then the year after we were in like this private area and I Took off my pants and I didn’t go in the water though I don’t think uh, yeah I know I was in… I walked into the water and then I saw a boat come and I ran back because I was scared and then this year The confidence and the difference between like two years ago, last year and this year I was walking around naked, there were people that came on to like our mini like Secluded area island that we were at and I stayed naked I like hid my junk a little bit my Sudoku books I think there might have been a kid or something and I was like “uh not cool” but I felt completely comfortable. We went into the water completely naked when there was other people around and it just made me feel so Powerful because it was me. It was my body I was taking control of my body and my identity and my Agency, and I was doing everything that I wanted to do. I want to be naked. I love being naked It is so much fun to be naked and I love it I would love to go to the gay falls in Montreal and just go and be naked It’s just so much fun. But I need to be around people that I’m comfortable with But even at that even if I have a moment where I’m like “mmmh my body” and I feel dysphoric it doesn’t matter It doesn’t matter because I need to think of the wider picture here is that it makes me feel good Who cares about what other people think and that’s how I’m able to think and that’s years and years of work So I’m not saying do this right away and it’ll help you but just know that I did a lot of work to get to where I am And it makes me so happy that I’m excited to get naked in front of people and just hang out and you know what if you don’t like it? That sucks for you because I love it and I’m comfortable and if we’re in a space that we’re allowed to be naked Oh my god, don’t just go to a park and get naked. Like if you’re a nude beach or something I feel so empowered like yeah, I have a different type of body than you have and I love it So good luck trying to insult me. It’s kind of like that It kind of makes me feel powerful like, you can’t do anything to me. You know what I’m saying? Anyway, that’s just my little thing about like how I’m able to be body-positive even though I have dysphoria So let me know in the comments what you think and what you’ve experienced and if you’ve done any of, you know Any of the work that I’ve ever talked about You know that I’ve talked about, in my head or if you have other things that you’ve done that have, because I would love that we could all talk about this as a community and try to find like some… not common ground, but like Some like, tips and tricks and like tools that we could all kind of use together because we need to help each other out especially on this and you know what if you have super dysphoria and you’ve tried this and it doesn’t work and that’s fine and you know And that’s how it -that’s fine I’m not saying that you just need to think positive and you’re gonna be positive Did you try shoving eight bath bombs up your ass? Like it’s not how it works. You know what I’m saying? But I’ve worked so hard and I know it sounds like I did it like that easy but oh my god, lots of torture in my brain, lots of thoughts and I’m here now, so I just want to share that experience. Alright, let me know what you think. Have a great day I love you. Bye

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Comments

  1. Yo, I just wanna say that your confidence with your body type has made me feel so much better about mine 💙 I want so bad to be thin and buff and work out but I have hEDS and that’s like literally not an option 😂 You and Aaron make me feel like my body is okay and I’m working to be more confident in it. Thanks for everything, Chase!

  2. We had queer swimming at a queer camp I volunteer for and almost everyone (trans men especially) took off their shirts. I sobbed bc it takes so much power and to know my friend and I helped them do that was amazing

  3. A lot of my dysphoria comes from not being read male when I want to be. I start getting hypercritical of myself, which does me zero favors. So, looking at my body as unique kinda helps me take the power back. This is my body. Nobody can have agency over it because they don't own it and they don't own me .

  4. Omg i needed this. Last night i cut myself bc i had such bad dysphoria. I'm ftm too and i can't afford surgery or a binder rn and its really hard. Some of the things you said in here made me feel better thank you i feel like im not alone bc of you.

  5. ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️ Thank you so much! I need to talk and hear about this topic all the time, days and days.

  6. what has helped me the most by far to be happier and more positive about my body is to be in contact with a bunch of other trans folks and to talk to them about how i feel abt dysphoria and such and listen to how they feel abt things like that. sharing selfies or whatever with them, i know im among friends who understand my experiences and my discomfort with parts of my body, so theyre always respectful and sweet and positive and it makes me feel better knowing my friends are happy to see me
    as well as, i know im Visible when im out in public and that other trans and gay folks are gonna see me and know im one of them. the ones who are also visible, we share a connection that feels wonderful. and i know that for someone who sees me, they know that its ok to look how i do (fat, brown, gay, and trans) and i know itll help them come to terms with accepting how they look and are
    much love <3 <3

  7. I’m so glad to see you in front of the Cat Wall again 😊😁🐈
    I have being dealing with body positivity all my life too. I’m trying to be better with it though. I know mine will be better once I can start T and have top surgery. I want you to know that seeing you in you body positivity is REALLY helping me. I know I will get there one day. I agree, we do need body positivity in our community. You are sure a beautiful person Chase, inside and out. 💙💜

  8. 6:47 I'm having the same problem ever since I came out to my mom its like she hates me I'm forced to have long hair and do everything that gives me mass amounts of dysphoria it's sucks

  9. My partner and I have been having sex a lot more lately (we're both trans), and I've been trying to hard to have more confidence in my body. My partner really seems to be okay with their body when we're together like that, but I still get really uncomfortable with the way my body is.
    This was just a good video to see because of my mindset lately. I'm only 18, and I'm still learning, but I liked hearing about your confidence and your thoughts surrounding nudity and body positivity.

  10. I remember meating you an i asked to huge u your slim boy.
    But i also an thankfull to see you post pics an your body,im pre t till October 30th an i hated my hips but u helped me with its ok we all are difrent body's we are still beutiful humans
    I wanted to do a body positive pic but i had a surgery as a baby i left me. Kinda to stumics.
    You did help me i feel good to know we all are difrent

  11. I have a lot of Dysphoria because I haven’t come out to my mom yet, so I haven’t been able to but a binder or get t. The problem is, even when I do come out, there’s a good chance I still won’t be able to because she believes in gender rolls and stuff. I asked her if I could cut my hair short and she said “You’re not a boy!”, and the first time she met one of my gay friends she sat me down and told me that she new her little girl and not to let him influence me and get me “confused”. She never even told me trans people exist. She says she’s open and non-jundging, but she judges me all the time. When ever I wear pants she’ll mention how they’re getting tight and pinch my sides (I’m actually very under weight) or how I need to get rid of my acne or boys won’t like me. Every day she also forces me to sit down and forces makeup onto my face. It sucks. And she’s even talked about my boobs getting bigger and I’ve told her I don’t want big boobs. And before I discovered myself I was depressed about how mean she was and also just because I was depressed, and now I’m even more depressed because I can’t be me. I’m also a swimmer so everyday I have to get into a girls swimsuit and go into the girls locker room and feel how much I don’t belong. And even if I bought a binder and had it shipped to a friend, my mom looks through my room everyday. And I hate how I’m always reminded how I’m not me. I’m a person I don’t want to be.

  12. I have been watching ur vids for about 6 years now and I think the world of you, when I was feeling dysphoric before I started t and even after I would always run to ur vids for comfort and support through those rough times and I am so proud of how far you’ve come and how far I have personally have come and I think it’s great to have someone like you to look up to and have to help educate people who might not have access to the information that you share <3 keep on spreading your knowledge! -ur friend from the states

  13. I skipted the intro cause I always do this on youtube but then I came back cause I remembered that Chase is so cute saying hi to us

  14. It helps me as well to look at cis guys and see some of them have hips too, only it doesnt help me enough at the moment because m not on T yet and there is a chance my hips will become flatter after a few years on T and its so damn frustrating to have to deal with the knowledge that there is something out there that could literally get rid of the things i have dysphoria about / make these things a bit better but its not available for me right now and i have to just keep thinking posisively. I guess what i mean to say is like, i think i would be able to deal with having hips better if i were on T because T actually makes you look like a cis guys and then it will be ok to have hips bc other cis guys also have then but since im not even on T the hips and all the other things together dont even make me look like a guy with hips but straight out like a woman. I think for me it would just be easier to accept the fact that i have certain feminine things about my body if i just normally pass as a guy (who has a few feminine body parts but thats ok since id look like a cis guy already)

  15. Im not trans but I also have issues with my body, but something that make me re-think happened last year. My grandma passed away, she was a mom to me for many years and when she died I was conflicted that her body was still here, but what I truly loved about hee, what I will miss forever, that was gone. Her sense of humor, her kindness, her brave self, it was gone, but not the body. So, why the fuck was I obsesing over something literaly no one will miss about me when Im gone, no one will say oh I miss her tiny waist or flat stomach, to others it may be other body parts they dont like, why are we doing this to us when literaly its not what matters, why do we want to die sometimes over this? Makes no sense, we need to love ourself for our true value, our hearts and souls.

  16. Sometimes I feel like I'm not allowed to love my body because I'm trans. Like, I look in the mirror sometimes and I feel sexy, I feel handsome, and then I shove that feeling away because I think I'm not allowed. I don't always love my body, but when I do it makes me doubt if I'm really trans. And I know that's stupid! But it's what I've been told again and again by people around me… We need more trans body love!

  17. I am non-binary/a-gender & experience what I call “body part specific dysphoria” A LOT. I love that I have a womb to carry a child; but dislike my breasts intensely. I’ve always been in juniors’ clothes, but feel despair if I look in the mirror and see anything remotely looking like hips…I wear a blend of neutral yoga/runners wear & juniors boys clothes. Occasionally I’ll wear some glitter, but I feel like dudes wear more makeup than girls nowadays. I still feel like I’ll always be in a ‘race’ to catch any of my physical ugliness and cover it up before someone sees💔🤦🏼‍♀️

  18. My sister told me to look up photos of Julian Casablancas from The Strokes when I feel bad about my hips because he has hips. Also, the comedian Josh Thomas has hips and makes me feel less dysphoria.

    I have the usual dysphoria you get before you get top surgery but it's not huge atm.

    I love my muscly arms and my straightening and toned torso. My ass is also shrinking but getting more muscle.

    And lil SJ keeps growing. Yeah, I named my bottom growth.

  19. Basically to me and seeing your photos on Instagram, especially the naked ones, makes me feel like you're in this place to really feel comfortable about your body, and it makes me want to continue taking T and getting top surgery, cause I want to feel that confident about my body and not worry about what other people think. Right now I'm stuck in a cis passing mindset and I wish I wasn't. I want as much confidence as a an enby or a trans person who has chosen not to take HRT when I go outside, especially when I go into the city. But all I can think about is do I pass enough?

    So thank you for showing you can get to a point in your life where you can be comfortable in your own body. I have a lot of growing to do, and not just down there 😉

  20. So uhhh I think this is my first youtube comment in years and looking at the amount already on here not 24 hours past the posting date I reckon it'll just get lost but… I've only very very recently realised that I'm trans and that I experience gender dysphoria that has physical as well as social causes. I used to smother my body dysphoria by sexualising and commodifying myself, turning the parts of my body I felt uncomfortable with – my massive hips, my chest, my round face, my thighs etc – into something consumable, usually for the heterosexual male gaze. Now that I've realised why I did this, why I don't feel comfortable with my body unless I am performing a "perfect" form of sexual femininity etc, I do not really know how to feel good about myself. I have almost fallen into the same trap a couple of times, but always remembered to stop myself before I fell too hard.
    Now I'm trying to find new ways of both accepting my dysphoria, managing my dysphoria, and feeling good about myself. It's pretty bloody difficult tbh!! Watching your videos has been really helpful, not only in coming to terms with my dysphoria, my gender, and the path I'm about to set off on, but also in accepting my body.
    I'm heavy, and I have IBS so I know the bloating thing super well, and I also used to suffer from an eating disorder. Looking at myself in the mirror my hips have always been a part of myself that I hated. Nothing will sit on them, everything rides up or down. I watched your How To Pack video and honestly seeing that your hips had a resemblance to mine was a relief. It was like, Oh thank god, this guy has hips too. It was… affirming, I guess? I think that openly discussing our worries and our insecurities can be a good way to prompt conversation on how to overcome self-hatred, how to accept ourselves, etc. Anyway I've rambled!

  21. Thank you been so inspirational, I very appreciate your videos that makes me very free to watching you. I’m quite the same about embarrassing my body, i try to love it the most possible as possible and it works.im a mtf I used to be a boy with large hips and know I love them so much since I transitioned
    My bottom became very girly with the HRT. Btw you are beautiful naked.
    Thank you to sharing your experiences!!!
    Please don’t stop love youxxx

  22. (First of all I live that IBS life so i know the struggle of bloated stomach…) Once you posted a picture on Instagram on you from behind and you were naked and I was like oh… He´s trans, he´s not super skinny… But he posted a pic of him naked and he´s not ashamed of his body. Maybe I should´nt be ashamed either. And when you try on underwear and strap ons in videos and you can see your tummy and hips it makes me feel alot better about my tummy and hips. It REALLY helps me be positive about my body when you show your body and talk about sex and stuff. I have a bloated tummy and fat that sticks out over my underwear (like you talked about in the video) and I have hips. But my dads friend have so big hips that he has trouble finding pants and he´s cis. And my sisters ex boyfriend had big hips too and he was cis. And another of my dads friends is a 50 year old cis man that has to take hormones bc his body doesn´t preduce enough. Thinking about that makes me feel alittle better. <3<3<3

  23. i mainly have disphoria on my chest i havent had surgery. i mean i do get really down about my weight too cause i weigh alot now from depressed/stress eating and i wanna get it under control but i just cant get myself to work out.

  24. One thing that has helped me so much to accept my body is to do sports. I have gained more confidence in myself and embrace my body because actually I might have a lot of things I hate but at least I can run 😂. And also my partner been very supporting has helped me a lot too.

    I am cis, I don't have gender disforia, but sometimes the esthetic pressure people puts on anybody that is seen female can be quite hard. This video is so helpful for everybody, thank you!

  25. I can’t express how happy I am that you said that “what even is a ‘normal body’” because thinking like that is very helpful for reducing dysphoria being pre-t and pre-op.

  26. For me, body positivity was all about accepting that ugliness isn't shameful. So I now don't really care if I look ugly when I look in the mirror, cos there's nothing wrong with that ;-0
    Can't get around the dysphoria, which to me is at least decent proof that it's not just self esteem

  27. I'm glad you realize that you help a lot of us feel better with having average bodies. And I love how you preach body positivity and sex positivity! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

  28. as a fat trans guy its so hard for me to differentiate between dysphoria caused by gender and whats my general body image issues. i always told myself that once i got top surgery i would be comfortable being shirtless, but im not. i look in the mirror im finally happy with my chest but now i cant ignore my weight.
    i've been trying the whole "fake it til you make it" thing with confidence, but that can only go so far.

  29. I literally watched this like 3 times and I got an ad each time and I watched them all the way through even though they were political

  30. I’ve been super dysphoric lately. I really needed this video today. I’m a year on T but haven’t gotten top surgery or worked out to build muscle yet, but like that’s ok. It’s good to remember that I can be a slim, tiny guy. That I don’t need to be buff to be manly. Or ripped or whatever. So thank you for putting this video out. It helped me reframe my negative thoughts.

  31. It's helped me a lot seeing other trans people show love and acceptance for their bodies, like Chase. Especially when I first started my transition and was overwhelmed with the false idea that trans people HAVE to be miserable and hate their bodies. Now that I've gotten so far, it saddens me that anyone would ever feel that way. Being trans is not the Dysphoria Olympics. Learning that it's okay to love my body and that I'm not any less valid or less trans for making progress has been so incredibly beneficial and freeing. If you're a trans guy, you're ALREADY A GUY! Your body might not be what you want or need (yet, anyway) but trust me, you're closer than you think. Like Chase said, plenty of cis guys have curves too! There's no "perfect" male body. Dysphoria is a monster inside our heads who lies to us. It wants us to be sad, angry and hate ourselves. When you look in the mirror some days and hate what you see, that's the dysphoria monster lying to you. The only way to win is to slowly starve it to death by feeding yourself positive thoughts!

  32. "You just have to be positive! Have you tried shoving 8 bath bombs up your ass??" …So sarcastic…So casual…You are my spirit animal, Chasey-Poo ✌😘👍

  33. "If you don't like it than that sucks for you cause I like it". That one sentence just made myself actually tell me that I'm good? Chase! I love you! Thank you! That actually changed shifted my mood into something so much more positive! Holy shit! 💞

  34. My best friend who is a biological male and in very good shape has bigger hips and a bigger butt than me and I’m biologically female.

  35. Im having a weird time transitioning from a skinny girl to a skinny boy tbh. When i was a girl it was seen as a “good” thing by society and was something that i felt very comfortable and happy with. Now that i’m transitioning people keep pushing me to workout and become more buff and “manly” and it kind of bothers me? Before these comments i was so confident with my figure and didnt see an issue with it (besides dysphoria), now i feel all this societal pressure that i didnt feel before. I wish people would just accept other’s bodies and stop trying to tell other people how they should look. Bodies come in all shapes and sizes and thats completely okay ❤️

  36. Thank you this helped me so much! This whole thing with trans women tucking. The idea you're destroying the illusion. That I should be ashamed. This transition isn't for your eyes this is for myself and only for myself. I can be a women and I can be ok that I have a dick. Thank you <3

  37. my little brother has more hips than me now that im on t and that really does make me feel better knowing that a cis guy that im closely related to Has Hips

  38. I’m not trans and this video was inspiring, I’ve struggled with my weight my entire life and hearing this video makes me feel a little more comfortable with my own. I’ve been watching you for a few years now and watching you get more confident makes my heart so happy 💕

  39. Hi Chase! I do everything backwards (well, not everything). My path is different than most, but still valid. Essentially I suffered body dysphoria for years wondering why I wasn't 'masculine enough' or even feminine in some aspects. I was diagnosed with a pituitary adenoma when I was 31, had brain surgery and subsequent treatment. However, the body dysphoria then just increased because now I had a "Real Reason" why I was "Wrong and Flawed". I wondered how I could get top surgery or bottom surgery to "fix" myself. A year and a half ago, I was doing some research to better understand what my transmasc friend was going through, and I discovered non-binary genders. I asked myself if I was really male, or if I was non-binary. When I thought of myself as n-b, my body dysphoria was immediately alleviated, and I even experienced gender euphoria. I haven't suffered from depression since then. I now no longer hate my body. I'm learning to love what makes me different.

  40. It really is inspiring seeing really body positive and sex positive trans people. Personally, my dysphoria fluctuates. It's usually not that bad, but that's because I almost never step out of my comfort zone. T shirts and jeans every day. Talking to the same handful of people. Etc.
    If I step out of that zone, obviously it gets worse. I think I get the worst dysphoria when I have to shop for clothes in the girls section and go to the girl's changing room and stare at my body in a giant mirror… So I don't get new clothes often.
    But honestly, the thing I struggle with most is sex repulsion. For a few reasons, I always feel ashamed of my sexuality. Not like ashamed of being gay or whatever- just ashamed that I have sexual thoughts or feelings. It might not even be a trans thing but honestly it's AMAZING to watch people talk about sex as if it's a casual, natural, healthy thing (which it is). I haven't had a lot of that in my life. It makes me feel like "hm, maybe I'm not a sick freak for thinking a sexual thought about a hot person 🤔" which is as close as it gets to sex positivity in my brain.

  41. Hey Chase
    I know exactly what you're talking about when you said that you feel powerful even with your different type of body. I felt exactly the same. I'm also ftm and I'm on t, but I don't have any surgery. I went to New Hampshire this summer and my friends and I went to Hampton Beach. I was at first kinda shy to just go to the ocean only with my tape on my chest, but my friends motived me and I finally pull out my shirt and stay like that all the time we were at the beach. I swear, I never felt that powerful and so confortable with my body. Yeah some people was looking at me, but I was like meh haters gonna hate.

  42. Great video topic Chase!
    I definitely relate to taking agency over your body to build body positivity. I try to focus on ways I can have agency—clothes, scents, piercings, hair cut, etc. I feel much better about my body overall when I focus on those things. The issues I have with my body don’t go away when I do that but they feel smaller and less overwhelming.

  43. "Look at that, that person is so comfortable and they have my body type!" that is literally me looking at you, thank you bb <3

  44. I am questioning. I THINK transgender describes me, but I don’t know for sure. Do you have a video talking about the first time you knew you wanted to transition?

  45. I’m a 41 year old trans guy, pre-T and I really needed to hear this message right now! Thanks for all you do Chase 💛

  46. I saw a guy at the grocery store Friday night who was probably 70 and had the same huge butt/thighs that I do (38, FTM) and seeing him made me feel much better/more normal about my body.

  47. Chase, J’adore regarder ta chaîne! Tu es trop mignon! Love from Texas. ⚜️ my jockstrap makes my love handles look worse it’s not just you. You are sexy!!

  48. you honestly help so many people to love their bodies more, myself included. you make me feel so much better about myself because i have a very similar body type to you and i find there's so little representation for trans body types that are insanely buff. you honestly make me feel so much more confident because i can look at you and how confident you are in your body and realize that i dont need to have the body of a male adonis to still be comfortable in my own skin.

  49. I started a body, sex, and kink positivity page on instagram with 2 of my very close trans* friends and my boyfriend who is also ftm and that has really helped all of us because like it's completely anonymous and while we're small people will still comment or larger accounts will come and say "Oh my god I love your content, I'm gonna follow and give you a shoutout on my page" and it's predominantly pictures we've taken and content we like or content we're exploring or stuff to glorify different body types and genders and sexualities. Like you obviously don't have to do that but just like make a private page or story or groupchat or something with people you trust surrounding it and just like fuel each other with how sexy and good looking and overall amazing you guys are

  50. I had many videos posted on YouTube, not monetized, not age restricted, they all got deleted 🙁 I was hoping someone out there would benefit form my videos, I posted top surgery stuff and dealings with body image stuff, it was heartbreaking to find out one day they were all gone… I tried reposting them, so far I don't know if they are still up, but I made ONE video to say that I was posting them under a different tag, I hope it works… I'll keep trying! I don't want to be a huge YouTube-er like you, but wanted to let people know there are people in small communities like mine where it's still possible to be who you are. I'm 41, wasn't on hormone blockers so some things didn't happen like I wanted them to for my transition, but I put a LOT of work into uploading and descriptions, even showing top surgery results and hysto info. Crushing. do you have any "words of wisdom"? P.S.-once you eat American food, you get IBS for life it seems… I'm on Imodium 4 pills per day plus omeprazole 2 times a day. JUST TO KEEP FOOD IN ME!! Canada has better restrictions on chemicals in food, US seems not to give a care if people get sick from chemicals in food…. just an afterthought!

  51. I’ve felt disphoric about my hips and chest for the longest time. I’m young and I still have lots of work to do but at least I can watch your videos and not feel alone. Thanks for posting this.

  52. As someone who won't be able to have SRS for years, and might not ever want it – this was such a powerful message to hear. Until recently, I was absolutely sure that SRS was something that I wanted to pursue. Recently, I've been thinking more about WHY I felt like I needed it. I've never had really strong genital dysphoria – so, why? I came to realize that it was because I felt like society said that in order for me to be a 'full' girl, that I needed a vagina. And part of me deep down was buying that.

    But it isn't true – girls can have dicks. Boys can have vaginas. Anyone can have any part. And that is okay.

    And seeing pictures of girls with dicks (like you talk about – media representation) started to make it easier to not only accept that part of myself, but maybe one day even be proud of it.

  53. Hello Chase I know you said you don't want advice on your diet but there is a guy on youtube called gojiman. He is dietician and he has a lot of knowledge about the gut flora and stuff like that. I think he is currently offering free consutations so maybe you could do some kind of collaboration talking about this topic. You can check out his videos and decide for yourself if you want to contact him or not.

  54. My hips give me a lot of dysphoria and it’s hard to just accept it, so I end up trying to hide them too… really hits home

  55. Chase, you are amazing and what you are doing is amazing 🙂 and you are a beautiful human being. Thank you for your videos.

  56. I’m trans and modeling nude for an art class at my college and I really needed this. Usually I can dissociate enough that dysphoria doesn’t super bug me, but while modeling I have to be really present to make sure I don’t move at all and it’s been making me hella dysphoric. But I’ve been trying to frame it as an exercise in self love (and advocacy a bit, since people aren’t used to seeing/drawing trans bodies) and this helped a lot, thank you!!

  57. I have hips too and seeing someone like you that accepts and loves your body makes me feel better! you are awesome chase and your videos help so many of us in the trans community!!!

  58. Hey chase, i'm John. Talking about sex and dysphoria I'm curious on your thoughts or other peoples thoughts about the possibility of conception as a trans man and how that might play a role in body image and physological image. Do you still have to be concerned about conception when having sex as trans or would the medication stop the possibility? I hope that I haven't offended anyone by this comment but i'm genuinely curious.

  59. Omg I am so happy to have found your channel!! It is so empowering to not feel so alone!! I am trying to feel more comfortable in my body as well. It’s hard to start becoming an artist and out to the public and still hold on to my non binary identity. I know I’ve also worked hard to get to where I am so I hope I can help others like you are doing on your channel!!!

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