Feeling Depressed Or Uninterested Before A First Date | Fearless Q&A

I started meditating for five minutes
every day I think I have this problem I suppose I have something fun I want to
do after a few days I’m all excited pumped up until the night before… I don’t
feel anything I feel like sulking and hiding Okay the next one is from ashraf ali I’m sorry if I messed up your name, hope I got it right Hello Brian Begin, I’ve been following
this channel for a few weeks now it’s really helpful for me, that’s awesome, I’m
glad I love seeing comments when you guys are really appreciate it when you
guys let me know that we’re really delivering good content, and I love it
when you ask genuine questions to get more information because that helps me
and know what you guys need and what you guys want.
I feel more in touch with my emotions now, I started meditating for five
minutes every day, love that, talking to people has become more fun and
conscious, I think I have this problem I suppose I have something fun I want to
do, after a few days, I’m all excited pumped up, until the night before… I don’t feel anything I feel like sulking and hiding, so the
night before he feels like sulking and hiding. I don’t know why this is, and what’s up with my
head. That one’s pretty easy, uh, the answer is pretty easy and then you have do the work
around it. First off, with actually you’re meditating five minutes a day
consistently is huge, consistency is one of the biggest challenges I have with
men, I give them something to do, they’ll do it for a few days
and they let it fall out and that you can’t really tell the results of
anything a few days you need that consistency so you get that five minutes
up eventually to 10 minutes, 15 minutes, great job by the way, I want to
acknowledge you, give you extra kudos so that everybody can see that
that is a very important thing to do. Number two, what’s happening there is
you’re excited when it’s farther out because there’s less tension because
it’s five days away let’s say and it sounds exciting five days away,
because it is exciting, but excitement is always covering up a little bit
fear you wouldn’t have excitement for example excitement
stay pump above nervousness, if you’re gonna get on a roller coaster and you’re excited oh my god oh my god I’m gonna get on a roller coaster, so exciting it’s a little bit of fear under that and the
excitement’s compensating for the fear it’s not… so it makes it kind of fun
and edgy you’re excited to go see a scary movie you’re excited to go on a
date that’s how excitement works if you weren’t excited but you were still
enjoying it, it would just be like something you enjoy, Imma just sit at the beach and enjoy
the beautiful weather it’s not exciting it’s just beautiful it’s just fun okay
so that little bit of fear by day the day before becomes more powerful than
the excitement when the energy above it you stay pumped into and at a certain
point it becomes scary because you know you’re about to do the thing that you’re
afraid to do and you’re going to become more vulnerable you’re about to
do the thing you want to do and you’re going to be more exposed vulnerable nervous like
it’s the date it’s going to be oh my god I’m going to.. tomorrow’s a day I’m going
to be seen by this other person and that she can judge me, that kind of thing,
or I’m going to.. if it’s something more adventurous I’m going to go skydiving
tomorrow’s a day I jump out of that plane I could die or something bad could
happen and aah! I’m freaking out inside and what I want to say is in that area is that
that’s where the meditation is most needed, you need to settle that nervousness
back down because what’s happening is is you’re going into a numbness to
compensate for whatever emotion that’s coming up, whether that’s fear or
whatever, and you get kind of down and through that numbness, you have to welcome it
first off that’s part of meditation is welcoming everything up so it’s welcome
welcome welcome until you can start to relax again. And I mean welcome everything
all the thoughts feelings emotions even if the thoughts are things like I’m not
feeling anything this isn’t working I don’t get it, every single little thought
and emotion, this isn’t going to work, so that’s where people go wrong as they say
if they sit there and say to me well I’m not feeling anything. Well what are you thinking?
I’m not thinking anything. What are your thoughts? I don’t have any thoughts.
Well what’s the thought that just raced through your head right now? Was it
“I don’t have any thoughts”? We yeah, but that’s not a thought. It’s still a thought and “I’m
not feeling anything” is still a thought so welcome it all. As you start to
welcome that first layer which is an apathetic layer causing numbness that’s
why you think you’re not feeling anything and it’s actually overload of feeling
trying to feel too much or feeling too much at once, then you start to settle
down so take that five minutes turn into 10, 15 minutes, even 30 minutes the day
before and just welcome everything that’s coming up, then every five
minutes or so ask if you can let any of it go. “Can I let any of this go?”
And just relax down the front of your body imagine like
the windows opening in your heart window opens in your stomach, and just see what
wants to leave, don’t force it don’t ever force it, Now, you’re not using your
imagination to do this process you’re letting your imagination build itself
I’m giving you an example of this. So you understand this is the big mistake
everybody makes. If you were the director of a movie do you control the actors and
some of you might say yeah some you might say no. The answer is no, you
actually direct the actors you tell them what to do but when the scene starts you
have to sit back in your chair and let them, trust them, to do what they’re going
to do, you can only just watch, you can’t control them you can’t get in their body
control their movements all that kind of stuff. It’s the same thing here you ask
your body to open, you watch your thoughts and start detaching from them like
they’re separate actors and then you watch the feelings and emotions and
sensations that come up. You feel your heart you ask your heart to open and you
watch what it does if it closes more welcome that, if opens more,
welcome that, if it opens then closes or closes then opens, welcome that. Let it go
through its cycle because whatever you welcome will take you farther if it’s a
no I’m not going to let anything go right now welcome that and then what
will probably happens is you’ll let something go anyways but if not welcome that. It’s
all about getting rid of all resistance to what is. All resistance to what is and that’s what will help you to get down
beneath what you’re feeling and I recommend you start this process with anything
that’s… where you’re in resistance right away so you can start to train.. cause your body gets
trained to do a better and better, with time, and then when that big event comes
up it’s really cool it’s exciting it’s going to have a much more profound
effect on you so rather than trying to do it for the first time when that big event
comes up. Kay? That’s a simple answer. There’s much deeper versions of this, some day,
when we start getting to those teaching more, releasing stuff on this channel, I might get into deeper prophecies for that. Kay?

About the author


  1. In today's episode Brian addresses the way anxiety manifests itself through lack of interest or depression. Solid stuff, we hope you'll enjoy! Please let us hear from you, and if you feel liked it helped, please feel free to share with your peers. Thanks for your continuing support everybody!

  2. Ya know meditation serves to calm down anxiety you can simply calm yourself down while you walk around , and get the same result

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