Functional Depression & How to Get Help! | Kati Morton


Hey everybody, happy thursday. Today’s question comes from Youtube. You know YouTube, you’re watching it right now. But for those of you who are old viewers, you already know this information. But for those of you who are new: Welcome to the Community and I want to let all of you know that below Monday videos is where I am most active in the comments. You know, commenting on comments and all of that stuff, so if you have a burning question, Or something that you want me to answer or possibly create a video about, you can ask it there! So today’s question comes from just that place and the question is: Hey Kati, I was wondering if you could talk about depression when you’re still functioning. No one has taken me seriously and I feel to stop functioning is the only way to get help. So this is a really good question, because I think for a lot of us we struggle to get the help that we need, because we quote on quote function in our life, meaning: we probably have a certain routine that we go through, kind of like what this person is talking about, that helps them essentially survive and show up for work and show up for school and all of the things that are important. But we know internally that we feel like shit and things are getting harder, and it’s really hard to get out of bed and it’s hard to shower even though we’re able to push ourselves through and do it. How do we get help if that’s where we’re at? I think the truth of it is, is we have to try to be as honest as possible and I say that because I really want all of us to let them know just how hard it is for us the function and that we’re barely hanging on by a thread and I would encourage you to even say to a professional, that maybe is the gatekeeper for you getting the help that you need, I would encourage you to say: I literally am hanging on by like a spiderweb to my life and I don’t want to have to fall apart in order to get the help I need. Is there anything I can do preemptively before I completely fall apart? Because I can’t afford to lose my job or I can’t afford to miss school and that’s the only motivation that’s keeping me going right now. And you can even express like: hey I barely get up, I get to what I need to do when I come home, I’m exhausted and I just lay there. And I’m not functioning at all. Then I would also encourage you, cause something that I as a clinician recognize that we all have different levels of functioning overall. We all have different capacities for stress, for anxiety, for depression, for functionality in life. We all have different norms and different levels of what we can sustain. And so I would mention that to them and say: hey, I know everyone functions at a different level, but for me this is like the bare-bones functioning. The next step is me being in the hospital. And if you know, I find it’s okay to be a little aggressive and pushy, because sometimes we have to shout to be heard and I know that sucks, but as a clinician, I can tell you, my first day on a job, like when I was working at the eating disorder clinic, was like shocking to me. Everything that happened was shocking, every person’s illness became overwhelming hearing about their trauma and the traumatic past they’ve sustained was overwhelming to me, and it was a lot. But after a few weeks, we kind of become desensitized, because there’s so much going on, we hear so many story back to back to back and we slowly just kind of normalize it and I know that that sucks and I’m not saying this is okay. Just saying that’s kind of like human nature and so I find some physicians that work in a hospital setting or in urgent care or where they have to pump clients through every five to ten minutes. They’re really jaded and they don’t want to hear us out fully, but I find it if we are a little aggressive and we’re a little pushy. We have to assert ourselves, aggressive isn’t even the right word, its assertive. We assert ourselves and say something to the effect of: By you not referring me today, what you’re saying is: in order to get help you want me to become hospitalized. And I would even challenge them: would you put that in writing for me, because I’m barely hanging on. Like sometimes, I I know it sucks but we have to just like give it our all, tell them exactly what we’re feeling, exactly what’s going on in order to get the help that we deserve, because we can all quote on quote function at a certain level, but it’s going to be different for everyone and there is no reason, if you’re a clinician and you’re watching this: there’s no reason that if someone comes to you and they say that they’re really struggling, there’s no reason that we should send them back out without any help. I know our mental health systems are broken, but find a way, find a group, find some support system, something anything, because we don’t need to completely fall apart, end up in the hospital, lose our job, get you know way behind on school, fail our classes, ruin friendships and relationships… We don’t have to get to that point to get help, so trust me put together all of the things that you aren’t able to do each day, put together all of the thoughts and struggles that you have, put together how hard it is for you to get up and go about your day and then come to them with all the information and say the next step is I’m in the hospital and I really need your help. And I know that it sucks and I hate that we have to take it this far, but sometimes we just have to be pushy. I say this all the time in my livestreams, we have to be the squeaky wheel that gets the oil and it’s completely okay, because you deserve it! You deserve to get the help that you need! There’s no reason for our whole lives to fall apart in order for that to happen, we want to strike or we want to nip it in the butt before we do fall apart, before we do lose our job and I know this video is not like that uplifting, but know that there is help available. We just sometimes have to keep asking for it. You got this, you got this, okay?! Write down your list and share in the comments, maybe some phrases or things that you’ve said to clinicians to get the help that you need and deserve, because I know a lot of us have talked about this. How we have to shout to be heard and then the waiting list is six months and how do we get some extra support in between? Share your tips and tricks, because I only know how it works in the states. I’m learning more about places around the world and different systems of care, but together we learn more and we get help more quickly and as always my website has chat 24/7. It obviously has to be a safe place, it is not meant for suicide assessment or for crisis, but we have the crisis text line if you’re in the states as well. I have free workbooks, free worksheets. There’s a ton of free resources available to get you through. I love you. Thank you so much! If you’re new to my channel: click here to subscribe and keep asking your questions. And I will see you next time. Bye! Subtitles by the Amara.org community

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Comments

  1. Thank you for this. This is exactly what I needed to know. I found this video from a friends suggestion after I asked if she knew a therapist because I finally think it might be time to talk to one.

  2. I didn't even know function depression was a thing. Is it actually chronic depression / dysthymia or is it a separate disorder?

  3. Hi Kati! I just wanna to let you know you are really helpful to me. I have been struggling a lot lately and have been feeling like this for a very long time. I never know what to do or where or who to go to for help. I feel like I have no one to talk to or vent to without them throwing it back in my face. I’m at the point where I’ve had enough all of it. But I’m not giving up. I am trying to fight this, but I’m doing this alone. There are people who want to help me, but my attitude is too much for them. I don’t think anybody would want to be around me at all. I don’t know what to do anymore.

  4. I am so scared also to reach out, but my friend keeps telling me I need to see someone. My mom tells me the same thing though I have not talked to her yet about wanting and needing to see someone. I'm scared and embarrassed. All I know is the depression keeps getting harder to deal with. I ended up tearing up in class just because a guy who was sitting at the same table as me in the computer lab plugged my computer power chord into the wall for me since he was right next to the power outlet. I felt like I wasn't good enough for that. Then, I started thinking about how the other day. I was texting a female friend of mine asking her why she puts up with me and am I really worth it? She said she puts up with me because I am her friend and yes I am worth it which made me tear up even more. I am one of those guys who just can't cry hardly ever, but I am turning into a weeping mess. I believe with all my heart that I am not good enough and that this life is becoming more of a hassle than it's worth. I'm tired constantly. I can't seem to find happiness anywhere, and I'm just so convinced that death would be better than this. I believe from reading stuff on the internet that it is both depression and (social) anxiety that I'm dealing with. Would I need to be formally diagnosed by a psychiatrist first before seeing a therapist?

  5. Omg that hit home so hard. I always think that stop functioning would finally make people realize how much I cannot handle things anymore. I can go to uni/work, but I am actually hanging by a thread. I self harm, I was in the ER but still people/my therapist do not seem to understand…

  6. Your videos today have helped so much! I'm a new subscriber, I feel I have functional depression. I feel I'm depressed because I had experiences that started at 5/6 – 9/10years old with a cousin but she is around 4 years older than me so she was 9/10. I'm not sure if this would be classed as abuse? I'm angry and confused I can't remember 90% of my childhood. These feelings I feel when I think about certain flashbacks are very dark, guilty, intense and scary I've been feeling like this for the past 3 years as I was triggered at 20 to an assault that happened when I was 17 and I believe it has triggered my childhood memories. I have never spoken to a loved one about it and it's killing me (especially for my husband of 4 years almost) I'm just scared of the outcome! I literally only just told my doctor 2 weeks ago due to a really bad day I blurted it out. I'm considering therapy, but very nervous about the idea. Can someone please let me know what they think about how to "let it out aloud" I've been holding this secret for 17 years and I can't bring myself to physically say it. Any suggestions I would be so grateful!

  7. I'm from the uk (Scotland) I'm a young single mum how can I say to a dr " do you want me to be hospitalised cause I'm Hanging by a fred" does that not make a dr think that my child is in an unsafe home. Because when watching this video I broke down in tears because it's me… recently been struggling with adult life.. I got my own place a year ago and got into a lot of debt that's I'm currently paying off. My job is looking to pay people off and I can't afford that right now and my hours have been cut and I can't afford that. I've been having break downs in work for no reason nothing's egged it on I've just felt really overwhelmed for no reason and started crying. My work is stressful and unorganised, I struggle to work in that kind of environment. The only thing that gets me up in the morning is work or my little boy.. and even with my little boy I end up falling asleep because I'm so exhausted. I work 3 days a week but I never miss a shift nothing stops me going even if I've been sick in the mornings which happens a lot and I'm not pregnant and I've had dr appointments about that and they can't find the cause. I've lost 4 stone over the course of 2/3 months and it was because I forgot to feed myself because I was so busy I would notice I was hungry but finish what I was doing first and by the time it was done I wasn't hungry anymore.. my child isn't unsafe and he is cared for and I would do anything for him. Him and my partner are the only time I feel happy and supported… this video has made me realise I do need help. I really need help but I don't know if I can be that kind of pushy

  8. Thanks for this! It's nice to hear that you don't have to be in bed 24/7. My old mental health nurse said I didn't have depression because I could go to work and if I was depressed I'd be in bed unable to get up for 2 weeks or more. After hearing this week after week it pushed me over the edge and I tried to take my own life because no matter how much I tried to tell her how much life is a struggle, it felt like I wasn't being listened to. This is all after I was off sick for 9 months with my GP saying I had anxiety and depression. So I don't know why she wouldn't listen to me. I'm now out of hospital and still not diagnosed with depression from my local mental health team although I'm on a long waiting list for depression and anxiety therapy. It was 31st Aug when I tried to take my life and I've still got no support from them. I'm no good at being assertive and I think that is my downfall with them.

  9. I think this is very important to talk about, and would have helped me when I started experiencing depression about 7 years ago. A huge part of my personal growth has been realizing that just because I was functioning during my depression doesn't mean it wasn't serious.

  10. I have to trick myself to go to work everyday. I don't put socks and shoes on until I get to work. I drive to work in slippers. That helps with my anxiety in the morning

  11. After MANY failed attempts to get help, I finally told my doctor I envied alcoholics and drug addicts. He was shocked enough to ask me why. I replied,: they're so lucky, they have access to rehab, anonymous group meetings, support… and no one questions their pain or underlying issues. So Doc FINALLY put me in a residential treatment facility. Which, literally, saved my life.

  12. I think I may be depressed but I feel scared to ask anyone about how to get help and don't know where to go or who to talk to

  13. Its why its called an "invisible illness" Sadly. I've noticed professionals do tend to not take me seriously because they may see my makeup, dyed hair, nice clothes and my appearance and think oh she's fine because she took time to work on her appearance. It sucks. I also find because I am in 20's and young look people do not take my words as much hold that they should. Just because I'm younger than you does not mean I'm an angsty dumb kid who is seeking attention. No, I am a valid adult and have been dealing with mental illness for years now. They also always say "have you tried being positive? Have you tried just not being selfish and so down?" And I feel like slapping myself because um my actual brain fights against me and thinks negatively. Like im diagnosed… My brain actually has a chemical imbalance. When I say that though they get snippy and say well just try and maybe you can get better! Like um no that's not how this works! Its not about a cure or getting better. Its about coping mechanisms and acknowledging yes my brain does work differently but learning to work with it. Thanks for this video and understanding as always Kati ❤

  14. Thank you for doing this video. I've been feeling this way for a while. It finally took stopping a police officer at 1:30 in the morning, and convincing me to try another hospital then follow me to the nearest hospital to an evaluation. To get something done.

    Thank you

  15. Also I totally agree with being more assertive when talking to a dr. Dint be intimidated. We all get a first impression and that includes when we see a new doc. Their attention needs to be 100% on you and they LISTEN FIRST. Depression is different in most ppl so unless they focus and are totally tuned in I feel like I’m wasting my time. I can’t stand to sit in front of doc who is maybe asking me a few questions but all he’s actually doing the entire time is looking down as he scribbles notes the entire visit. For all I know He’s been drawing stick figures the whole time. Communication is key. Remember they are simply the doctor …. they aren’t the one who is struggling. You pay them for their expertise so expect nothing less. I’ve walked out of one doc visit be ays he has such an attitude … kinda felt like he was not interested in why the heck I was there. He was rude from the moment I walked in. Know that you are valued and dint let the mental illness stigma keep you down.

  16. Hi Kati, I think your videos are absolutely amazing! I've been going through all of the videos regarding depression, but have only found bits and pieces from each video I relate to. Could you possibly do a video on what disorder these symptoms fall into?
    Ending social life pretty much straight after school
    Having trouble expressing emotions "properly"
    Purposely forgetting parts of life unless they were particularly traumatic or happy
    Getting triggered by simple, petty things into a bout of feeling like wanting to do literally nothing
    Having emotional breakdowns after particular events (being told off, seeing something that triggers a traumatic memory, etc.)

  17. Thank you for this video. I started watching your channel a couple days ago and you seem really damn great at what you do.
    I´ve suspected I have depression/anxiety since I found out it exists and what it is, but I´ve never reached out for help because I can mostly function most of the time and I feel like I don´t deserve it/ don´t have a REAL reason to. I dropped out of the college because I couldn´t handle it long term and literally spend a YEAR shut at home and I still felt it´s just because I´m lazy or that I have just generally bad personality.
    This video really intensely spoke to me, as if you were saying this to me personaly. I think this "functional depression" term and what you said about different levels of functioning is something that can really help me recognize that my problem IS in fact a real problem and try to get help.

  18. The last time I saw my GP (and was talking about my depression) he was like, oh, you're always so chipper! As if to prove him wrong, I ended up tearing up twice during that appointment. So maybe now he knows I'm much worse than I seem… In other words, I need to learn to cry in front of my doctors lol

  19. Hey person (idk ur name yet) my mom didn't believe I was depressed even though I cut and she was making me go to therapy and I have no clue what to do because I sorta self diagnosed my depression because I feel hopeless and like I just want to die but I put on a happy face and make sure that no one knows I'm depressed and it's all just to much so what Is another way to get diagnosed be cause my parents won't take me and I'm to shy to talk to anyone in my family

  20. What if I'm scared, I mean SCARED AF for ask for help? I can't do it, the fact that people will take me as a freak or that nobody will listen, keeps me quiet. Even I tried, I told everything to my best friend but he did nothing, he listened but he didn't take it serious, I don't know how to say that I need help, that I can't handle this anymore :'(

  21. I really regret that no one said that to me before I fall apart. I lost my friends and 'hobbys', I'm alone right now with no things that would be worth in my life. The only last thing I have and I 'keep doing' is my extra job and studies, but probably I quit university and tomorrow I won't even go for my classes and I will be left with nothing.
    I am from Poland and I have no idea how to get help, I don't think I'm ill enough to get it, to ask for it, I don think I'm ill at all, I'm probably just lazy and hopeless and I don't deserve help. But the thing is – despite that I want to disappear so badly I want to live, I want to live so desperately, just like normal happy human being. Have my passions back, get some friends, fall in love for the first time, believe in love and friendship and start to live for real.
    I regret that I didn't (live/get help/hear it) earlier. Because I'm losing my life, I guess I've never been living at all and I'm almost 20.

    And yeah, sorry for my English, I'm still learning, if I did some mistakes you can correct me, I would be grateful.

  22. katie, thank you so much for this video. honestly, i've been wondering if my mental state qualifies as depression and wanting to go to a therapist to talk to them and be sure about that for a while now, but this video made me realize that i have been "barely functioning" for like… almost a year now, if not more. it gave me the push i needed to admit that things are not okay and that i need help. thank you.

  23. This is something I've really been struggling with this lately. I'm a college student with a 3.8 GPA. I go to class. I talk to my friends. I spend time with my family. But I still know I'm not living the life I'm capable of living. I avoid most social situations. Any time I'm not in class, I'm in my bed. I haven't been able to pursue jobs and internships because I'm so down and scared. Every day I'm exhausted, no matter how well I sleep and how little I do. I'm so thankful that I now have a therapist who recognizes my depressive symptoms and I just started taking antidepressants. I felt like my mental illness was never addressed because I use humor to cope and always downplay my symptoms, even when talking to professionals. This is SUCH an important video and I'm hoping it will encourage more people to seek treatment and not give up. Thank you so much for spreading the word on topics such as this. Much love

  24. Thank you Kati. I think it's time I became a squeaky wheel. Actually its past that time as the wheels fell off my trolley when I had a heart attack last year.
    The list is going on my to do list tomorrow 🙂
    Edit:
    Its 03:24, another sleepless night so I started my list as it is technically tomorrow I guess.
    I quickly filled up two sides of a4 paper and realised that I've been experiencing symptoms of depression for years, and by years I mean decades, and by decades I mean all my living memory- I'm 54 so that's at least 40 years if not more, I have never been able to remember my early childhood too well.
    Here's the thing though
    I have always said to myself that I'm probably suffering what I called low-level depression. I would just shrug it off though, self-medicate with weed and vodka, and then paste on a smile and get on with the drudgery of life.
    Since my heart attack 10 months ago I haven't worked. I ran out of money and maxed out my credit card about 4 months ago. I eventually claimed social security 2 months ago. 3 weeks ago I had a massive panic attack and called the paramedics, I really did think I was going to die and I thought it was my heart. The paramedic questioned why my panic attacks hadn't been investigated. I've had those as long as I can remember, along with anxiety issues, but since the heart attack they had been more frequent and much much worse than ever. I managed to get an appointment with a doctor the next day to discuss the issue and ended up breaking down in tears as I tried to explain myself to him. He explained that panic attacks can be an indicator of depression and prescribed my a medication. I haven't had a panic attack in 3 weeks.
    I haven't been able to afford to self medicate for a couple of months now, and over that period I have gradually felt more and more depressed.
    This is intended to be a word of warning to the casual reader of comments wondering if the should seek help.
    Yes you should.
    What I used to think of as low-level depression, not worth bothering anyone about, led me into lifestyle choices that eventually led to my heart attack. Fortunately I never functioned well enough to have a relationship that led to marriage and children, so my current state of health is only affecting me.
    If you have a family, and think there is a chance you have high-functioning depression, I urge you to go seek help now. Tomorrow may be too late, your life can turn shit shaped in moments, those moments could take years to recover from.

  25. My thersapist took me to the hospital once for an assessment because she felt I needed a higher level of care. Because I was doing things like getting to college each day they wouldnt take my seriously. It looked like i was functioning on the outside but in reality each day ended with me collapsing on the kitchen floor of my apartment in tears and then just lying on the couch for the night along with eating disordered behaviours and self harm. My current therapist is trying to get me to get more help now just from my gp too but because of being dismissed I can't bring myself to be assessed again. I still have nightmares about it 5 years on

  26. But I am afraid that ppl would like look down on me if they knew I have depression and stop functioning won’t get ppl to help u because ppl generally just don’t care

  27. I've been struggling with this for the past 4 years but seeing a therapist here in Japan is so costly and as a broke student it is not realistic way to get help from them. I've seen one before but it was pretty much just me talking and then the person just heard me talk and that was all. I still struggle with this today and I'm not sure for how much Ionger I can keep up with this.

  28. ohh thats so close to home…. Like, "I'm not dying, so I must be OK!!". I live in Russia, maybe that matters, everyone here is an iron-cast fighter (or a gooey whining ball but I think I don't know such people). I regarded myself as a work machine, a robot…. and then I started to cancel my lessons (I'm a tutor) because I lost all intrinsic motivation I guess, and the outside motivation followed through…

  29. This is exactly where I am right now and have been for a long time. I constantly get told…. but you are still functioning so things can't be that bad. It's so frustrating then when I try to tell them I feel suicidal they tell me I'm being manipulative just to get a reaction. It's horrible when people accuse me of this when all I'm trying to do is get people to understand how much I'm struggling

  30. I’ve struggled all my life and finally felt like I could voice this properly and go through the lengthy process to finally seek treatment as I break down on an almost quarterly basis and I’m doing “really well” but I feel like it’s not healthy for me to need to be so busy and productive all the time. After months I finally got to the referral stage, got them to admit that I had symptoms of bpd but then was told out right “but you’re not bad enough”. My letter from them summarising my referral meeting left out anything concerning I said and even had inaccuracies like saying I work full time when I’m a student. When I told the gp all this she suggested that I found it harder before because puberty’s difficult and I’ve only come out the other end in the last year. Do professionals not realise that when you are “bad enough” you don’t have the energy, confidence or optimism to jump through hoops and explain to professional after professional all the stuff you can’t stand hearing. I wish I’d watched this video first because I’m never bothering with uk mental health services again.

  31. I had to keep fighting to get help half of the time my therapist don't even get that i need to be heard so i give up to talk let alone i do not want to end up in the hospital when she doesn't even get that I lost both my parents due one had cancer the other had copd and i wake up and deal with it daily having nightmares where my mom saying I cannot breath and she died the 19th of sept i feel responsible

  32. I described it to my care co-ordernater as clinging by my fingertips to the outside window ledge of a very high building and that I had been holding on for so long I couldn't do it much longer. Back in the building now though yay!

  33. Kati, what do I do if I am unable to adjust to wellness? I was diagnosed with GAD and MDD about 3 years ago and went to therapy and got medication and it worked. It worked really well and after about 8 months of having controlled symptoms I just couldn't get used to not having any of my symptoms so I stopped all of my treatments. Now im struggling again and am not sure what to do next.

  34. I sometimes feel like it would be better to have an réal accident like a car accident because then I wouldn't feel guilty for feeling broken… I don't want to die, far from that. But I feel like if people can't see bruises it's like your not that hurt so you should just keep functioning… and not complain…

  35. I've had depression since I was nine, I'm fifteen now, and for the last couple of days, I've cried. I want it to stop, but my mom won't take me seriously. Would someone help

  36. This video was certainly the most helpful I’ve yet to find on this subject I really appreciate the insight where other videos point out the obvious or stereotypical effects in cases of depression this brings the real dark struggle into a much needed awareness.

  37. Do you do online therapy sessions ? For example, on Skype etc ?

    P.S: Super amazing videos and wonderful job that you're doing !

  38. Even though my managers know about my anxiety and depression, because they see I'm still functioning they seem to think it's still okay and I don't need time off.

  39. I was so happy and peaceful until about 6 weeks after having my baby and it's like lights went out. I've had some days so bad all I could do is lay in bed and think in my mind "this is the end of everything" I can't handle the smallest bit of stress and I want to cry all the time. I still do things but not as well I absolutely hate cleaning even though I know I feel better in a clean house. my four year old gets yelled at all the time and I just feel like everything is so much harder than it should be. I have some days that are better, but always at some point in the day usually half way through the day I lose interest in everything, I feel bored and empty, everything seems pointless and hopeless and I can't see anything ever changing in the future it's just like every day will be the same. My husband is trying to help me find a good therapist or someone that will help me that is a Christian

  40. I was doing so well last week, I had my todo lists, I had a schedule going, I was getting back on a hygiene schedule…..I was going out and seeing people and then a few days ago everything just fell through. I had to go buy two tubs of ice cream and I don't want to get out of bed today. I barely slept last night and I just feel like crap. The chores are piling up and I haven't had a bath since everything just fell apart. I go and see my therapist tomorrow to tell her that I wasn't able to complete our goals this week. I see your worksheets in the description but I'm not "self-harming" there are thoughts there but I've never done it. Any advice would be helpful. My therapist is wonderful but I need support throughout the week.

  41. And then they lock you away, drug you and turn you back out on the streets not any worse not any better just drugged.

  42. This video is older already, buuuuut THANK YOU!!!!! I was wondering about this sooo much lately, because even in my worst days I get up and put clothes on my children and feed them, but anything further than that is too much for me. Even playing with them properly and I was wondering if I had depression at all (though it was diagnosed and verified by different psychiatrists and psychologists) or if I am just a horrible person sometimes. I work very hard to overcome this time when I only function but cannot be emotionally involved but it's sooo draining and hard

  43. A few weeks ago I talked to a therapist, who was as sensitive as a brick wall. She apparently hadn't read my email, where I clearly said I looked for a therapist with experience with adult ADHD – could have saved us a lot of time. She interrupted me and said she didn't know why I was even there. So at some point I myself told her that I didn't know what to expect from therapy, but I didn't have any idea what else to do with my ADHD symptoms and how to manage and that seeking therapy was like a last resort for me. That somehow made her listen. She was really surprised when I mentioned ADHD and was after that at least nice enough to write me a recommendation for therapy…

  44. I am trying to get a Psychiatrist to believe me. My Psychologist does. In fact my Psychiatrist said to me that medication won't help me so he won't try anymore. He also won't give me a letter that says at this time I am unable to work so I could get some money to pay off some debts.   I haven't worked in 4 years and my debts are quite high.  I asked him for the letter and he outright just said "no" and then he said "aren't you glad you're not disabled" This is a Psychiatrist in a Mental Hospital. 🙁  There are other Psychiatrists there but they all work on the same floor and I don't want it to cause a problem. 🙁

  45. Hey Kati. Could you please make a video on/or tell me what is it that I am going through?
    I had major depressive disorder with anxiety for 8-9 months in 2015. Depression reduced gradually, became non existent, anxiety however popped up time to time really badly specifically related to studies. I had started going to a psychiatrist in 2015 when my friends urged me to after coming to know about my self harm and suicide attempts. He had prescribed Clonazepam (Zapiz 0.25) one tablet every night for two weeks. And that's been the go to medicine he prescribes even now for times when my anxiety gets worst.

    However I face the problem of a recurring depression sort of phase. It's not as strong as it was back in 2015 but when it happens I am non functional. I find it cumberson to do basic things like brush, eat, bathe, so studying is a much more huge task for me, almost every time going to sleep. And that lasts for like a week then I'm fine for 2-3 weeks, then back again. I'm also really sensitive to being alone, almost instantaneously feeling lonely when I'm alone for a day or two.

    Could you please please help me out in this since I cannot afford a psychologist, my dad wouldn't let me, call it all a waste of time and money, barely allows me to go to the psychiatrist because he doesn't charge much and for him it's only legit if I need medicines. I have really supportive friends btw.

    I am very confused about what I might possibly have.

    Please please revert. Please. I am tired of this. Please help.

    P.S.:- apart from my major depressive disorder in 2015 and this recurring phases of depression in every 2-3 weeks for a week or so, I've had depression for 2-3 months thrice a year since 2016.

    I also cry a lot on very small things too.. didn't use to happen before 2015..

  46. I won’t shower for about 5 days at a time, and I don’t even know why. I just don’t feel like I can do anything beyond ABSOLUTELY required of me besides sit in bed and watch YouTube and overeat. Is this something others find they do with depression?

  47. My anxiety and depression came to a head to where I stepped down from my job… I loved that job… Three years and many flaming hoops later, I'm not any better than when I left. No professional wants to see me with my state insurance, even out of pocket. I can't afford anything else. I'm so damned lonely. I'm not earning a living and I'm losing interest in things I enjoy and lacking motivation to partake in my hobbies. I have to hold myself together because I have a family. I don't know how to do that so well amymore.

  48. if you or someone on your behalf says you may be at risk to harm yourself or others, help is usually given at a hospital

  49. Thank you Katie. I am never that pushy because I think they are the professional and should see how bad I am. I mention I am having bad horrific temptations about suicide and when I bring it up they change the subject. What should I do go hey, do I have to overdose to get your attention and the help I need ? I know they can be desensitized which could be a real problem. Maybe they need a break or time off.

  50. My family are mostly alcoholics and I have lived with alcoholic emotional abuse my whole life, who thinks I should just snap out of this, they have now idea what I’m going through, than God I had the strength to go see a therapist on my own. ❤️ you prob won’t see this but …Thank you Kati, I find lots of comfort in your video’s

  51. This really describes my life.
    I go to work but after I get home I pretty much collapse.

    Sadly since I've worked for almost 4 years (that's how long it takes to get upto 100%) the pressure on all I need to do each day (to earn money for the company) is stressing me out.

    It was hard enough batteling my suicidal thoughts before but I don't think I can do this anymore.
    I just wanna lay down, go to sleep and never wake up.

    I don't have the currage to end it on my own.
    I've been planning my funeral to the last detail.
    Hopefully an accident can save me from this suffering.

  52. It unfortunately can be very dangerous to "confess" to a clinician that one is "barely coping", as a patient can then be involuntarily incarcerated, lose their job/education, be exposed/confronted to/from seriously disturbing mental illness in others, and be thrown into an utterly uncertain, stressful "assembly-line mental health 'care' statement" environment that's the definition of stress/anxiety-provoking. In essence, thrown into a mental health prison – without having committed a crime. And with one's literal freedom decided entirely by others by criteria about which a patient is often entirely uncertain. Not conducive to less stress or anxiety that's for sure.
    A conundrum, as a psychologist certainly feels somewhat responsible for assessing a patient's danger to themself. But it's gratifying to see Kati acknowledge she's aware of the potential additional negative impacts of that on a patient's mental health.
    With a well funded public mental health system, perhaps things would be different. One can hope.

  53. Is there any advice on finding help step by step?.. my GP told me that I’m the only one that can help myself out of depression/mental illness and that’s not really working out. Should I find a counselor first? A psychiatrist? My insurance lets me go somewhere without referral but the internet is just confusing the hell out of me on where to start

  54. I think the reason people don’t do that with their therapists is bc they are scared the therapist will think the worst and put them on the hospital or write down we are crazy or something. It helps to know this isn’t true 🙂

  55. My therapist told me I show symptoms of BPD. I asked her how can we get it officially diagnosed? She said she’d have to write it on a piece of paper. And sh didn’t do it. I didn’t ask her to. I thought it was understood and I didn’t want to be dramatic and lose any hope of the diagnosis. So I’m not diagnosed. Meanwhile my life is devoid of relationships and hobbies and interests. And I drink heavily with no help, I don’t know where to seek support.

  56. This video made me cry. I just got a therapist. I get PTSD triggers that cause me to feel either anxious or depressed depending on the trigger and some days I just want to take a mental health day but it’s like you can’t. Thank you for this video!

  57. I just went to my family doctor with a cold and when she asked is there anything else that's bothering me I just said that I think I might have depression. She gave me a questionnaire, I gave my honest answers, she prescribed me some antidepressants and referred me to a psychiatrist. It took me a while to go to the psychiatrist and then it took some for the appointments to become a regular thing.
    I was 18 when I was diagnosed. Looking back now I realize that I was slowly starting to get worse since I was 15. When I was 15, the summer was so pretty and I remember telling myself that I want to remember this beauty because who knows what might come next…

  58. I have functional depression and I hang on by literally a thread every day. Although I'm the best I've been now then I've been in 5 years. So that should tell you how far I've come. Thank goodness for a good therapist. It's been a long journey. If you do too… Keep it up. Miracles happen through Meds and therapy! I'm proof.

  59. I can’t get a 504 plan because my grades are too high. But I barely sleep to get those grades and that’s making my mental health worse. I’m really just obsessive about school and having no cushion makes it so that I’m pushing myself to the breaking point everyday.

  60. Good to know that it’s not just here in Sweden were one have to be strong to be weak. I learned about HFD just last week and I’ve been struggeling with myself for 25 years. At least for me, it’s really hard to take time from work for going to a doctor and admit that I have mental issues and to get the responce:” Take an asprin and come back in 6months if it doesn’t get better…NEXT!” just fuels my conviction of being worthless. I’ll try going private even if it costs alot…many they listen as much as one pay them…I don’t know…Good vid tho

  61. First off, I live in México. I was diagnosed with mild depression on february by a psychiatrist who then sent me to the psychologist for therapy through our public health system. Last time I had an appointment with him, I was excited to go because I felt I had made progress. I came out crying and even went to the bathroom to keep crying. I had stopped SH but I did just that in that same bathroom until I was able to calm down. He invalidated the progress I felt I made and every session it was just him telling me I have everything to be happy, that I should love myself, and that I shouldn't be depressed. He never gave me tools to do any of these things. He made me feel like a child throwing a tantrum and that I wasn't even trying. He suggested I end a two year friendship because of an issue I had instead of trying to talk things over. I decided not to go back (my mom wanted me to because he helped her). But I decided not to. I don't think I can trust another mexican therapist anymore (had similar issues with a past one). I have decided to only see my psychiatrist and do the rest myself… These videos have helped me and will probably continue to do so… Thank you so much Kati!! <3

  62. Not being able to feel for so long, I can't say what I am feeling. I can't journal and I hate journaling, I find it a waste of time or the time I could be doing something better. The pattern is the same for sleep too. 😟

  63. so i never have any energy after i go to school unless i hang out with friends. otherwise everything else seems so difficult and idk if thats me being lazy or if its jus my diet or if school is just exhausting or if im a bit depressed? but the thing is i have been depressed for a short amount of time and i kniw what that feels like and this doesnt feel like its it so maybe im just dramatic

  64. I know this is an older video but I thought I'd comment about what helped me. So how my psychologist and I communicated from early on is through objective measurement, so he'll ask at the beginning of the appointment, "on a scale of 1 to 10, how bad has your anxiety been?" And I'll give a numerical answer. Its a great way for him to know exactly how bad I'm feeling that day, even if I don't seem depressed on the outside. It makes me feel better knowing he understands how bad it really is, because its so difficult for me to express some emotions.

  65. I started living by myself this year, and the only reason I'm still functioning is because I'm the only one that's here to take care of myself. I also never really leave my flat except for school or to go to the store. So most of the weekend just goes with me not talking to anyone.
    I have a feeling this isn't really all that healthy either hahaha

  66. Do you have any suggestions for when you are still denied help even once you have been as honest as possible ? I’ve been begging for help for years in the ways you mention and it is completely disregarded.

  67. Thank you!!! This applies to everyone, I’m functioning and always depressed and I make 6 figures! I thought my whole life that if I made enough money I would be a certain amount of happy. However my life is complete shit and I make six figures per year in income I have no friends I can’t text to single person and tell them about my life I had nobody not a single person in the world who I talk to besides my mom and or my dad or my sisters Anna and Audrey I really have no one and I’m totally alone and I’ve accomplish my goals and right now I feel like a total failure because I’m where am I where am borrow will be at visually and it’s not as I thought it would be and it is really sad because it’s depressing the fact that I thought having enough money could free up enough time and I could be with my family moreHowever I’m not I’m just more preoccupied and more preoccupied by money in by financial health and I am so depressed and I wish someone understood my reasoning I’ve been through a ton of things in my life and it’s a major accomplishment to be able to make six figure income and I’ve never done it before and never been close to it but I’ve missed several opportunities that could have made me and a multimillionaire and now I am in a career that has me on the path to do exactly that and I thank you for posting this video would help me a lot emotionally and I thank you for helping me spiritually because people need to understand depression is real no matter what income you make or what degree your successes just like Rob Johnson you need to understand that no matter how successful you are depression is real and people need to understand and get help and I wish I could do the same and I hope that through my research I can get help for my depression thank you so much for this video it is truly amazing keep posting!

  68. I thought I've recovered from depression but I haven't been able to function at home. I kept telling myself that I'm not depressed because I am functioning, but now I know that I am not ok. You gave me a reason to seek help. Thank you.

  69. Not saying shit about my therapist – because actually I think that it's more of my fault that I FELT like I needed to assure her, like, everything's misery but I'M STILL STANDING, because that's how I always survived hard times – but when I used to go to her, I kind of felt like she thought I was so STRONG despite everything, that if I told her I was actually hanging by a thread, and only BARELY surviving, that I'd "disappoint" her. So I'd only throw, out of a sudden, little phrases like "then I didn't get out of bed for an entire week" & then immediately changed the subject to "but I did eventually and now everything's fine", even though it wasn't. That's something I struggle with until this day, I feel like I can never tell people the truth of what I'm feeling, because I'm what it's called "so functioning". Like, yeah… functioning when you're seeing it.

  70. I feel like this is me I go to school but except for classes I am numb and spaced out and I have to force myself do anything outside of school. When I am horse back riding is the only time I am not feeling numb and spaced out

  71. i have these weird freak out moments every time i go to to store and its busy at the cashier lines i feel overwhelmed i yell the word f—k ! pretty loud or im running through the sore to just get out as soon as i can because it just stresses me out. how do i over come this feeling

  72. yessss most therapists and etc…are very desensitized and act as u r just a number. I have tried to give it my all and they look at me like I'm overreacting. So, yes mental health systems are broken. They act like they are miserable waiting on a paycheck. We need more people like you. love how u speak as we are in this together by using "we". It sounds more understanding and it makes me happy to see someone like you still out there. In TN we can't get therapists, psychologists, Drs etc to really show any compassion. It is sad, but this is due to the fact that others have abused these services or meds that may have been given. It is in and out and most come off very rude and say things that would never help and leaves you shocked at the lack of knowledge and social relatability that they have in their own field. It's like if you don't like your job…why are you here?

  73. How can we distinguish between a post traumatic stress disorder and bipolar/dysthymia/cyclethymia??

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