Gender Dysphoria (also I’m on T!!!) || Fridays with Ollie

Hey Everyone! I am Ollie, which means that
this must be Friday! Coz it is Fridays with Ollieeeeee~
Okay, I’m like super hyper and also a bit sweaty coz I was just outside..I’m hyper because,
I JUST GOT MY HORMONES!! Yeh, I know the theme of this week’s video
is social dysphoria, I think??? And I will talk about that in a bit, but first
of all, I’m going to film a video for my channel putting on my Testogel.. I think that’s what
is prescribed anyway.. It’s.. it’s Testosterone Gel.. so, yeh I’m going to do that first..
So, I apologize if this video is a bit of a mess. I’m kind of filming two at once…
I’m also in my pyjama boxers because I didn’t fancy just wearing my normal boxers on camera..
We’re not that close yet.. [Intro Music] Yeh, I’ve just read the instructions and realised that erm, although the GIC told me that I
could put the gel on my legs, I actually can’t.. It says that you have to put it on your shoulders
or your stomach, which I’m not too best pleased about but I think I’m just gonna go for shoulders,
seeing as it’s only for a month before I change to injections. Which, means that I showed
you my boxers for no reason… So, I guess I’m just gonna put the gel on
then.. I feel a bit more naked than I am…
I don’t normally show my binder to people, but I feel like, seeing as there’s no actual
human in this room, I’m not as self conscious as I would be if I had our entire audience
sat in my room.. So, Hi! I’m back and I have just put on my
gel.. Yeh, soz, I’m just in my binder.. bleh.. I might insert like a clip of me putting it
on. Yeh, I’ll do that now If you wanna see like the whole process, err,
I will put erm the thingy to my channel video.. it’s either here, or here.. I’m not entirely
sure but it’s one of these ones but if I forget to do that, I will link it in the description..
I think I’ll film the rest of my video when I have clothes on.. That might me good. Yeh,
see you in a bit! So, I’m back, I have clothes on now.. YAY
WOOO!! This weeks video is about social dysphoria.
It’s under the title “gender dysphoria” but I think, for me personally, “social dysphoria”
is how I would explain it. That’s because this is link to how society sees me. All of
my social dysphoria is linked to my physical dysphoria, but I guess I can explain a bit
about how they’re linked maybe? So, because, up until today (woopwoop!) I
have been pre testosterone, I don’t “pass” very often at all when I’m out.
If I do pass, it’ll be because they haven’t seen me properly.. I dunno, this is what I
think anyway.. and then if I say something and they hear
my voice, then they’ll usually like correct themselves, like the wrong way..
I just realised this is really wonky.. I’m sorry, I’m really hyper and really sweaty..
It’s like.. it was 25 degrees earlier and I’m dying a bit. I am a winter human, summer
is not my friend. I think, further down the line with hormones,
I’ll become like a lot more confident going out and less of my anxiety will be linked
to my social dysphoria coz I think I’ll pass more often.
But until then, it does make me quite anxious being around people that I’ve not met, who
don’t know my pronouns or my name.. coz more often that not, I will get read as female and that’s
not what I want. Also, I get a bit of social dysphoria when
I’m just kind of treated as “the trans guy”. Although I am trans and I’m proud of my trans
identity and I know I don’t particularly pass well at the moment (although “passing” is
problematic, but asdfghj that is for another video) But, I would also like to be treated like a guy and not just like a trans guy.. I can’t
really explain the difference coz.. but I know there is one.
I don’t really know what else I can say on this topic coz it’s quite linked in with next
week’s topic, so I’ll probably talk about — a bit more in depth, then.
But, until next week, erm.. If you liked this rambly mess, please give it a like and subscribe
to our channel because that would be cool~ Doo doo doooo~
Oh, also, I’m getting a new camera with– that can have a microphone soon, so I will
stop being as quiet and you will be able to actually hear what I say.
I’m still gonna caption my videos, I think because, as a person who is Hard of Hearing,
i always really appreciate it when other YouTubers do that.
I hope you have all had a great week and I will see you next Friday~
Doo doo dooo~ (why Ollie??) ‘Kay Bye!~

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