Help for Holiday Stress


– YOU’RE EXCITED FOR 12 DAYS. THAT’S WHAT’S HAPPENING
RIGHT NOW, ISN’T IT? [cheers and applause] I KNOW IT.
YOU KNOW IT. WE BOTH KNOW IT. HAVE A SEAT, EVERYBODY. WE’LL GET TO THAT
A LITTLE BIT LATER ON. I’M SO GLAD THAT I’M ABLE
TO HELP YOU WITH YOUR HOLIDAY SHOPPING,
‘CAUSE IT CAN BE STRESSFUL. YOU KNOW THAT, RIGHT? WELL, I’M GLAD. AND I THOUGHT MAYBE I’D HELP YOU
WITH SOME OTHER STRESS THAT YOU MIGHT BE HAVING. IF THERE’S ANYONE
IN THE AUDIENCE THAT’S STILL HAVING STRESS, THIS IS–WHAT I’M CALLING IT IS, ELLEN’S SOLUTIONS
FOR YOUR HOLIDAY STRESSES. AND, ANDY,
PLEASE BRING OUT MY… [upbeat holiday music] [cheers and applause] I DON’T KNOW HOW TO PLAY GUITAR, SO I WAS TRYING
TO FIND THE CHORDS. A LOT OF PEOPLE
SEND OUT HOLIDAY CARDS, BUT GUESS WHAT. NOBODY READS THE CARDS. THEY’RE ALWAYS LOOKING
AT THE PICTURE. THEY WANT TO GO,
“WHAT’S THE PICTURE?” ‘CAUSE THAT’S THE MOST FUN. WHO HERE HAS NOT SENT
THEIR CARDS OUT YET? ANYBODY? [staggered shouts] [laughter] IT’S NEXT WEEK! HOW IN THE WORLD
DID YOU NOT SEND YOUR CARDS OUT? THAT’S CRAZY. YOU HAVE–YOUR FACE, MA’AM,
YOU JUST LOOK LIKE YOU’RE JUST ON THE EDGE
OF YOUR SEAT, LIKE… YOU–YEAH, YOU. ALL RIGHT, WELL, COME ON DOWN. – THANK YOU, ELLEN. – HELLO. – AH! AH.
– OH. THAT WAS… – [screams] [cheers and applause] [laughs] – I LOVE–I LOVE THE GREETING. I LOVE THE OUTFIT. I LOVE EVERYTHING. THIS IS YOUR– – YES, YES, YES. – ARE YOU IN THE HOLIDAY SPIRIT? – 100%. – REALLY?
OKAY, ‘CAUSE I COULDN’T TELL. – WELL, LOOK. JUST A LITTLE BIT.
I DON’T HAVE MY SOCKS ON, BUT– – HOW CAN YOU BE
THIS INTO THE HOLIDAYS AND NOT HAVE YOUR CARDS YET? – OH, WELL, YOU KNOW,
I’VE BEEN GOING TO PARTIES, AND I’VE BEEN WORKING,
AND I’VE BEEN DOING THINGS, AND THAT’S OKAY. AND I WAS WORKING ON THE CARDS
IN THE PARKING LOT. WELL, BEFORE THE SHOW. – WONDERFUL.
ALL RIGHT. WELL, I THOUGHT MAYBE
I WOULD HELP YOU OUT AND DO SOMETHING CREATIVE, OKAY? – OH, HOW WONDERFUL! – I’M GONNA GIVE YOU
YOUR HOLIDAY CARD RIGHT NOW. – OH, YOU ARE? OKAY, I’M READY.
– I AM. ANDY? [cheers and applause] – THANK YOU, ELLEN. – OKAY?
– THANK YOU. – WAIT, COME BACK. – OH, MY GOD! – I JUST REALIZED–
– IS IT COMING THROUGH? – IT’S GONNA COME
THROUGH IN A MINUTE. WAIT, LET’S PUT IT DOWN.
I’M GONNA DO ANOTHER ONE. PHOTOSHOP YOU OUT
AND PUT PORTIA IN, ‘CAUSE I DON’T HAVE ONE EITHER,
SO… [cheers and applause] THAT’S MINE. THAT’S YOURS. YOU GOT TO SHAKE IT
LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE. – OKAY. – IT’LL DO IT.
HAVE A SEAT. – THANK YOU SO MUCH. – BEATRICE, OKAY, BU-BYE.
BE CAREFUL. [cheers and applause] ALL RIGHT. SO THE HOLIDAYS
ARE ALL ABOUT FAMILY. I LOVE MY FAMILY,
BUT FAMILY CAN BE STRESSFUL. AND WHO HERE IS HAVING FAMILY
OVER THIS YEAR? HAVING A WHOLE BUNCH
OF FAMILY OVER? YEAH? HAVING A BUNCH OF FAMILY OVER? ALL RIGHT,
RAISE YOUR HANDS AGAIN. I GOT TO SEE WHO’S DOING IT. UM, YOU OVER HERE IN THE CORAL
WITH THE NECKLACE. COME ON DOWN. [cheers and applause] I’M ACTUALLY GONNA GREET YOU
LIKE BEATRICE GREETED ME. – [laughs] [laughter] – THAT WAS SOMETHING LIKE WE’RE IN A BUDDHIST TEMPLE
OR SOMETHING. I DON’T KNOW. WHAT IS YOUR NAME? – TIFFANY FREDRICK. – TIFFANY FREDRICK, WHERE DO
YOU LIVE? WHAT DO YOU DO? – PASO ROBLES, CALIFORNIA,
AND I’M A STAY-AT-HOME MOM OF THREE UNDER THREE. – THREE UNDER– [cheers and applause] WOW. – YEAH. – DO YOU NEED
WHAT I’M ABOUT TO GIVE YOU. BOY, THIS IS–YOU WANT
TO ENJOY YOUR FAMILY, BUT SOMETIMES YOU WANT
TO TUNE OUT, RIGHT? – UH, YEAH. – YOU DON’T NEED TO LISTEN
TO ALL THAT. LET ME CHECK MY SACK HERE
AND SEE WHAT I HAVE IN HERE. YOU GET THESE
ELLEN BLUE BEATS HEADPHONES. – OH! – YOU CAN PUT THOSE ON.
YOU CAN LISTEN TO MUSIC. YOU CAN–IT’S NOISE CANCELING. YOU CAN WEAR THEM RIGHT NOW. AND YOU DESERVE THAT.
THREE UNDER THREE. WOW. ALL RIGHT, HAVE A SEAT. UH… THERE ARE TONS OF PARTIES
TO GO TO THIS TIME OF YEAR, AND THAT CAN BE STRESSFUL, ESPECIALLY IF YOU DON’T HAVE
ANYONE TO GO WITH. SO I WANT TO KNOW,
HOW MANY SINGLE LADIES ARE IN THE AUDIENCE RIGHT NOW? SINGLE LADIES. [cheers and applause] SINGLE LADIES. WOW, A LOT OF SINGLE LADIES. YOU, RIGHT HERE. MA’AM, WITH THE WHITE HAIR. YES. COME ON DOWN. [laughter] HI.
FIRST OF ALL, I LOVE YOUR HAIR. – THANK YOU. – AND COME STEP CLOSER. AND WHAT’S YOUR NAME?
– CAROL. – CAROL, WHERE DO YOU LIVE? – I’M IN NORTH CAROLINA NOW. – NORTH POLE, OBVIOUSLY.
– YEAH. – YEAH. [laughter] AND HOW LONG HAS YOUR HAIR
BEEN LIKE THAT? – SINCE I WAS 13. – SINCE YOU WERE 13? – STARTED. STARTED.
– WOW. THAT IS AMAZING. PLEASE STOP STEPPING AWAY
FROM ME. WE’RE GONNA GONNA GET FURTHER
AND FURTHER AWAY. ALL RIGHT,
AND SO YOU’RE SINGLE. – YES.
– RIGHT, OKAY. THE SINGLE LADIES THAT
ARE WORKING HERE ON OUR SHOW, WHAT THEY DO IS,
THEY LIKE TO WATCH SHOWS LIKE– LIKE MOVIES LIKE “THE NOTEBOOK”
AND CRY AND STUFF LIKE THAT BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT
A LOT OF THEM DO. YOU DON’T HAVE TO WATCH THOSE. IT’S A BEAUTIFUL,
BEAUTIFUL MOVIE, BUT I’M GONNA GIVE YOU
A FIVE-YEAR SUBSCRIPTION TO NETFLIX SO YOU CAN WATCH
ANYTHING YOU WANT. OKAY? AND… [cheers and applause] STAY PUT. BEATRICE, OUR HOLIDAY CARD CAME
OUT REALLY WELL, DIDN’T IT? IT’S REALLY GOOD. LOOK AT THAT.
THAT’S NICE. AND I JUST PUT PORTIA’S FACE
ON THERE, AND I’VE GOT MINE. – WORKED WELL.
– THAT’S GREAT. ALL RIGHT, AND WHAT SINGLE MEN
DO WE HAVE OUT HERE? DO WE HAVE ANY SINGLE MEN? RIGHT THERE? COME ON DOWN.
HE’S A YOUNG MAN, YEP. – OH.
– HE’S NOT THAT YOUNG. – HI. – HI.
– HI. – COME STEP FORWARD. SHE’S GONNA KEEP
MOVING BACK. WHAT’S YOUR NAME?
– JONATHON. – JONATHON.
AND WHERE YOU DO LIVE? – WHITTIER, CALIFORNIA. – AND WHAT DO YOU DO? – I’M A STUDENT. – STUDENT. WHAT YEAR? – UH, 2016. [laughter] – BE LIKE THAT GUY
IN THAT COMMERCIAL. “THAT’S ADORABLE.” [laughter] 2016.
WELL, THAT’S PRETTY GOOD. AND SO YOU’RE SINGLE.
– YEAH. – YEAH.
LOOK OVER HERE. [laughter] – HE’S LIKE, “OH, NO.” – WHAT DO YOU THINK?
– UM… – ALL RIGHT, DON’T EVEN ANSWER. UM, LISTEN. I ONLY HAVE THE ONE NETFLIX. YOU’RE GONNA HAVE TO MOVE IN
TOGETHER. SO YOU CAN SHARE THE NETFLIX,
AND Y’ALL CAN WATCH. YOU’LL FIGHT OVER SHOWS
YOU WANT TO WATCH, PROBABLY, ‘CAUSE YOU’RE PROBABLY WATCHING
DIFFERENT KINDS OF SHOWS. BUT, UH,
WHILE Y’ALL GET ACQUAINTED– AND I THINK IT’S GONNA WORK OUT.
I REALLY DO. DON’T JUDGE–
DON’T JUDGE ANYTHING YET. [cheers and applause] YOU GET ACQUAINTED,
AND I SHALL DANCE.

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