How Culture Makes Us Feel Lost – Dr. Gabor Maté On Finding Your True Self Again


in the 19th century Kong Marx talked about alienation which is a separation of being a stranger to something and you’re an alien to something and Marx said there were 14 a4 Ilya nations in his culture one is related from nature well at a conference dedicated to looking at the physical and the natural environment we don’t I don’t have to say much to you to show how alien we are from nature when we’re destroying nature itself the second alienation is some other people and that means we have less contact we have less intimacy we have less trust we have less of a sense of relationship and that of course as I’ve shown you leads to increased propensity to illness physical and mental we related from our work a lot of people no longer do work that has any meaning to them and that means that and since human beings are productive creatures we really are created in the image of God we’re meant to create when we do work that’s not creative that doesn’t reflect who we are that imposes depression anxiety a sense of meaninglessness and maybe the sense of meaninglessness we’ll want to substitute that sense of meaninglessness or that sense of meaning that we’ve lost by all kinds of other activities and then we get all hung up on how we look or how people feel about us what we can obtain or we can possess for successes we can achieve in other words all the false substitutes which cannot possibly compensate us for the lack of genuine meaning and of course what this society does it sells a lot of products that substitute for that loss of meaning in fact much of the economy is based on a loss of meaning in our culture finally and most importantly we become alienated from ourselves let me ask you a question here special hands how many of you had the following experience that you had a powerful gut feeling about something you didn’t pay attention to it and you were sorry after its peaceful you hand up if you have okay I think the eyes have it if I asked you the obverse question as 20 people have had a powerful gut feeling you ignored it and you were glad about it afterwards how many would not put your hand up well I’m not sure I’m seeing very few hands here well that means to say now you know what that you’re telling me you’re telling me that at some point in your childhood you got separated from yourself because no infant is born without gut feelings they took infants are totally connected to their gut feelings have you ever met a two day old who didn’t know how to express their gut feelings and that means that in this culture if something very powerful happens to alienate you from your true self because the world couldn’t stand who you really were and your parents were too stressed themselves to honor and recognize who you really were just like as a parent I did that to my kids without meaning to and then we become alien from ourselves we shut down our gut feelings and I’ve got things are not luxuries you know they tell us what is right and what is wrong they tell us what is dangerous and what is friendly they tell us what is safe and was dangerous and they tell us what is true and what is false so Mirena is from her gut feelings we have no longer a sense of reality more than a sense of truth well the good news is the good news is that human beings can regain their sense of connection to themselves just as we can regain our sense of connection to our nature and empathy which is genuine human quality is in us we’re actually wired for empathy even rats are wired for empathy when you stress that’s rats in laboratory by shocking their feet with electricity they’re more stressed watching otherwise being shocked than whenever locked themselves their stress hormone levels are higher that’s our nature as human beings so contrary to the myth in our culture that was separated individual aggressive competitive creatures grouchy wired for empathy wired for connection wired for love right for compassion so really to move forward all we have to do [Music] all we have to do not an easy task but it’s certainly available to us is to get back to our true nature thank you [Applause] [Applause] [Music] thank you for watching if we found enjoyment and value in this video please give it a thumbs up share your thoughts in the comments below and if you are not already be sure to subscribe to our Channel we are constantly coming out with new videos to help you experience life with clarity and Wonder

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  1. The title of the video is confusing compared to its content.
    I think the right title should have been; « how capitalism makes us… »
    Because when rebelling against ''culture'', we rebel against a social-economic system that produces it: capitalism, in our case, which transforms everything (nature, work, people) into a profit seeking thing by exploiting it.
    This is what Gabor Maté, I think, really meant, citing Marx and its capitalist alienation process!

  2. By the way Marx treated his wife and kids, that useless free loader had to have some nerve to talk about "alienation from people". Fucking hypocrite!

  3. Learn survival skills, buy land, work to live on a farmstead, eat organic, reconnect with nature, be natural, lose the ego, look after the earth, stop being PC, ditch the tech, learn to enjoy creating, being alone, addressing your issues, stop projecting and build a good soul 💪🌿🌎 🦎💞. If we've missed something, do let us know!

  4. we have to get back to our true nature?… turn into wild savage beasts and sabotage/plunder other countries, cultures/tribes for their resources and commodities then finally rape their women? this has been existing since the dawn of time… it still exists today in a highly sophisticated and political way using diplomacy and all this entertainment business and religion as distractions… life and business equals war.

  5. He used an over simplification of Marxist philosophy, coupled with the old proverb 'listen to your gut' to essentially tell me absolutely nothing substantive whatsoever.

  6. This video really hits home. The older I get the more I find myself denying and restraining my true self. I’m terrified of public speaking, I avoid small talk with strangers at all costs, and I rarely find the courage to go out on the weekends and be in a social setting.

    I wasn’t always this way. I used to speak my mind despite who my audience was. I used to love being around people. I used to introduce myself to strangers. I used to not only get out and socialize on the weekends but during week days too as much as I possibly could.

    I’m afraid of people now. I’m afraid of being judged. I’m afraid of not measuring up. Not being liked. Not being accepted. I feel anxious all the time. I feel like I can never relax. I feel like I can’t trust anyone or anything. Especially my instincts. God forbid my instincts.

    I feel alienated.

  7. I thought about this man for months and I have been thinking of intuition today! Amazing this man really is amazing. You are a great reminder to follow my gut feeling, my truth, and just give me the second chance I want…a career in spiritual work, to help others, to bring us to our true selves. 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻☀️☀️☀️ Let it be, let it be…

  8. Compassion leads to destruction of our universe as you are born here as slaves to build universe for the entertainment of gods. That is why Shiva is shown as a recluse and meditator. When you meditate and reach nirvana you destroy the universe around you in your mind. As a creator you need to develop imagination and receive total freedom from gods and from this body in order to create your own universe where you will be God yourself and create new slaves humans.

  9. Yes I agree humans are alienated and that we can find our way back through empathy but FFS leave the rats alone … or is it part of our true nature to be arseholes to other species 😪

  10. Meaning is found in a rain drop, in a brown autumn leaf, in the smile of an old man. We are ourselves contributing to our own sense of meaninglessness and alienation.

  11. You can only say so much in a few minutes. I don't know to what extent we're "wired" for empathy. One simply has to contrast two "primitive" societies. The !Kung are so empathetic, the Yanomano are psychopaths. I'm more interested in what makes us non-empathetic psychopaths. Especially when culture has a great deal to do with the phenomenon. As is the case in societies with large numbers of people.

  12. .THIS GUY IS SO FULL OF BULLS HIT.
    ..FRANKLY, HE IS A- VERY- WELL -PAID, COUNTER INTELLIGENCE FRONTMAN WHO, VERY CLEVERLY IS PUSHING THE GEOPOLITICAL / NEOCONS/ZIONIST/ (EXISTING BOLSHEVIKS) GLOBALIST AGENDA PLANNED BEFORE HE AND PROBABLY MOST OF US WHERE BORN. ..BUT HEY! DON'T SHOOT THE MESSENGER, READ WHAT THE ELITIST SAY(for those who are familiar with) NONE OTHER THAN Jacques Attali AS FOLLOWS;

    THE ELITE v HUMANITY

    Jacques Attali has something to say, having been an advisor for ten years to President Mitterand, and has been as well a President of of the European Bank for Reconstruction and Development, a bank he mentions in the text that was created for the specific purpose of shaping the future, and what he says is worth paying attention to, although the reward for the attention paid is Blade-Runner-like and dismaying. He is a member of the elite, and he says that it is the elite that controls the world. You may think your president and congressmen are the decision-makers, but they are not.

    What the elite are interested in is making money now and for the far-off future. What country, what people, and what ideas will help toward that end is largely the content of the book, except for some information at the end of the book detailing what kind of future humanity will inhabit. The elite will need a center of power to achieve that goal and while it has been the United States for some time, that position has weakened considerably largely through overwhelming, unprecedented debt. (But wasn't it the elite who perpetrated the creation of debt and excessive spending in the first place?) That center of power may well be Japan or the Pacific region in general or it may be Europe so long as the East and West can work together economically and efficiently. Mr. Attali leaves the proposition open-ended as to where the final power center will be but asserts qualifiedly that there cannot ultimately be two or three power centers; there must be one and one only — particularly since there is a need to have a single entity that performs global integration of all nation-states for law, health, money, and culture: a new world order.

    In the future, there will be no family; we all will be nomads greedily seeking to fulfill our desires, including the desire to survive, but as well the desire to achieve our ambitions. Thus, we all will have our own iPods or some future-oriented equivalent, our own miniaturized instruction modules, our own health checkers on miniaturized computers, and the like. The physician and the teacher will be a thing of the past, replaced by portable machines each nomad can purchase — provided that nomad lives in or near a center of power. For those who live on the periphery of a power center, their life and hopes will be considerably diminished, sad and poor. Africa (except, perhaps, for South Africa) has no real place or chance in the 21st century, according to Mr. Attali. The battles and conflicts in the Mideast will continue throughout the 21st century unless these smaller states can learn to join up with either Asia, Europe or America, an unlikely scenario at this point.

    Although Mr. Attali doesn't say so explicitly, in depicting what the future will look like for generations of humans, he does assert that humanity will need a new religion which all mankind can harmoniously get behind and believe, and that new religion is what he calls "the sacred," or, more specifically, a respect for nature and an awareness of what carbon dioxide is doing to increase the temperature of the planet – or so the author claims. Humanity will see itself following the new world order — or it will perish. Human beings will willing turn themselves into a product that can be sold like a can of beans through the marvels of genetic manipulation, cloning, and new copyright laws and there will be no difference between life and machine at all.

    Mr. Attali is not without some heart for the future. He does prat about justice, pluralism and democracy somewhat palpably in the book, as if the New World Order somehow still has "soft-spot" in its cold mercenary machinations for Classical Liberalism rather than for absolute Totalitarianism. Thus, Mr. Attali has started a nonprofit (read "tax-free") loan institution to "help" impoverished nations build "micro-entrepreneurs" because he knows that these nations and peoples, if they don't "get with it" — and soon — are going to be valueless fodder in the 21st century.

  13. I believe that it's at least also but maybe even more of a biological problem.
    The brain isn't formed to make us happy. But to make us survive. Or to be aware of dangers. And as we age our brain eventually gets fully formed and if we haven't cultivated a balance with our feelings before that happens, the brain dominates our perception and proceeds to perceive dangers everywhere.
    I believe that we should stop trusting our thoughts as much and hone our feelings.
    Which should be more effective of a solution than shifting all the many society's of the world.
    Dig where you stand.

  14. When I clicked on this I didn't expect to be bawling by the end of it. I don't know this man but respect him instantly.

  15. Yes, we are created in the image of God, you are so right. And we are terribly alienated from God. Please keep talking. How wonderful to see the audience stand for these ideas.

  16. LOL. So the key to happiness is to dispense with reason and critical decision making, and completely regress to emotional decisions.

    What could go wrong. I mean, we’ve been emphasizing feelings for decades now, and everyone is so much happier. Right?

  17. When me moved away from "traditional" culture (a good example would be how the Polynesians like Tongans lived) and moved into a culture of MAKING MONEY and "modern living" we became ENSLAVED.

  18. While our gut can tell us if something is right or wrong, it won't stop us from enjoying what feel is wrong.
    Example:
    Someone's gut could be telling them, that having an affair is wrong, but they do it anyway, because they enjoy it more, than they care about it being right or wrong.
    Alienation from self, is usually just a matter of choice.
    We do what we like, then search for meaning and excuses afterwards.
    That's when we feel lost.

  19. What he says is exactly true. We humans have lost touch, lost our way. MEN destro everythi g he tries to manage or control.

    I know I have I've lost my way. As a woman, I feel completely immobilized. Completely empty. By trauma, loss, from abuse and theft, sacred betrayals. Over and over. I'm exhausted, burned out and disconnected. I can't even feel the love for animals I used to have. I've given up. I actually know I have. But I don't know how to recover. I used to be fearless, hopeful and ambitious. Now I'm listless, hopeless and immovabilized and unmotivated. How do go forward with any quality of life? What's left?

  20. Unfortunately I feel this way all the time that I assumed that i suffer from dispersonlization or sth but hopefully lm just overthinking it..
    This feeling of disconnection is so unpleasant and overwhelming. I long for myself, for meaningfulness and inner-peace

  21. Okay, So HOW THE FUCK DO YOU FIND YOURSELF AGAIN? ????? HE didn't say. Of course. Cuz no one really knows.

  22. So true I lived on my gute untill I try to beike everyone else so I I didn't disappoint my children only to make them hate me an put money an others in my place. I have to live with this now trying to not make same thing happen with my younger to boys.

  23. I am unemployed because I made that choice to leave a job that never truly made me happy. I'm completely lost. I do not have any other experience other than that of factory jobs that make me feel sad and depressed because it's not what I want to do in my life. I thought back to a time when I was, truly happy . Which was doing pilates or fitness in general, and I thought of how I could go back to school for it and start living a life I truly want. But things cost money, and I can't afford to start my real life unless I work at a job that makes me…sad. I'm at a dead end were if I go back to that life, I'm afraid I'll be too depressed to leave it again. That I won't be able to find the courage to leave again. And I'm so scared, and i have no emotional support and all I see is time being wasted of me not living the life I truly want all because of money issues.

  24. At 3:00 he's essentially talking about "attachment theory" but doesn't call it that. It's why we often ignore our gut feelings about a person in relationships, going toward someone we instinctively know is maybe not right for us, and ignoring that feeling because we are so desperate for love and affection and have an insecure anxious attachment we may not realize, or push away from someone we instinctively know in our gut is really good for us, because we have an insecure avoidant attachment we may not realize.

    If anyone on here does this, gets into relationships with the wrong people often, or really wants love and affection but often pushes it away, I implore you to search "attachment theory" here on YouTube and learn what type of insecure attachment you have, so that when you meet someone, you can take your insecure attachment into account, and force yourself away from people your gut says are wrong, or force yourself to do the scary thing and get close to people who you feel are right. We can't "change" our insecure attachments that were ingrained in us by the way our parents reacted to our needs as babies and children, but I think that we can overcome them to an extent with awareness and practice, in order to foster better intimate relationships.

  25. Thanks very much more than this 👌👌👌👌👌👌👌👌👌👌👌👌🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷

  26. find myself i'm an alien to my self. well all i thought is to be like others. even if i resist bcuz of meanings which now don't matter

  27. i could be myself but i've dealt with enough mocking and humiliation in my life so now i turned into a sheep, oh i remember the shock on people's faces when i tell them i don't have an instagram..

  28. Yes I had a gut feeling and went against it.. chose the wrong job offer when I had two and now I’m unemployed. This is so true….. bless me

  29. When I was younger I had the tendency to believe that there were a lot of things wrong with me, that I was never good enough for the people around me. Growing up you realize that these problems never actually resided with you. It's the world & environment around you that forms al these negative beliefs. (Toxic & broken people, mentally exhausted, lost & forsaken souls, people with no guidance) this is what our "culture" is creating right now.

  30. Love this video, love your enthusiasm but I would clarify – you said YOU will help people get their CAPABILITY, I say they all, I mean we all, ARE capable, were born capable we just don’t allow ourselves to unlock our gifts. Just felt moved to ad this 🙌 keep helping people

  31. More complaining and whining and bitching and moaning. But do they ever offer a solution? Nope, they just wanna speak their deep profound poetry and get emotionally jerked off by a standing ovation. Even if they do offer a solution its always some vague obscure "reconnect with your inner gut" or "stop using technology stop buying things quit your job and live in the forest picking berries. How bout something practical that we can implement on a mass scale? And that question will always be answered by crickets until the end of time. Yea i dont have an answer either but at least im not complaining about it and pretending to be woke or watever

  32. Such truth! This video resonates so deeply with my current situation. Stuck in a hard labour job in an extreme remote location. My job destroys nature and every day it feels disgusting to me! Why do I keep coming back? Money! Why? To buy land so I can quit working and farm, maybe raise a small family and connect with nature. So I take part in destroying nature to work towards a goal of becoming closer to nature…. I wish society’s structures will one day collapse and we can rebuild a more positive habitants on this earth.

  33. After reading some sincere comments, I want to meet and befriend everyone who gave a positive outlook with human relationship. I guess there really are good hearted people out there in the world. I just keep forgetting because I'm surrounded by people who have been affected by economy.

  34. For me there are two right things in this world, worth using our energy, will, passion and creativity for:

    – First: Things produced by nature
    – Second: Things produced by true inner human instincts (without any social-cultural or dyadic influence)

    Anything else is dangerous for us and will have a bad effect on our society in the longterm.

  35. As someone trying to discover myself… I have been thinking and asking a lot of questions. I am happy I found this. It created a good start for me.

  36. I want to study something related to how people behave in relation to society…Any suggestions??
    I’m currently studying languages which I adore but I also want to know more about the field mentioned in this video

  37. I’m tired I m 28 …. I’m desperate even though I wanna succeed in this thin and I’m completely devoted for it . Yet still I feel that no matter how hard I try I’m just behind.. please God help me , guide me

  38. I’m glad humans are slowly but surely dying off because of their greed and ego

    Waiting for a nuclear war. They must be excited to play with their new toys 🤪

  39. So the synthesised cosmic style sound background is supposed to make us feel awe inspired and receptive to a list of platitudes?

  40. I really appreciate this speech. I also believe it's possible to experience alienation from one's emerging faith or creed, and creed could even be a scientific form of reasoning if that is a significant lotus or area of your thought. Also, as a subsection of being alienated from ourselves is being alienated or feeling alienated from one's own spirit, having a spirit struggle – this option can cross or intersect into spirituality or alienation from our own sense of spirituality I 1st mentioned

  41. I like video games but all the games I have involve two people to play. I seek connection in a disconnected world.

  42. I honestly believe that most people these days are disconnected from society and only cares about themselves

  43. glad to see the paradigm I've been trying to proliferate for years condensed down into a short 5 minute video, available for public consumption, for free, on the tube, needs to spread like herpes

  44. The message is OK, but what's with all the little clips, of person in a bycicle, a baby, a girl, the planet and that "music"?, is that necessary?, I think the message gets through, without all those silly hooks from self-help videos.

  45. I hate these videos
    perfectly good commentary and interesting discussion
    but then they put some music over it to give you a specific mood they want you to feel

  46. Society is very much like a zoo. Each animal enclosure is designated to one of many exotic animals. If a kangaroo falls into an alligator enclosure, the alligators will shred the kangaroo to pieces due to being different. This is how I personally view society

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