How to Deal with Stress | 7 Stress Management Tips

Hey everyone! Welcome back to Lavendaire. Let’s talk about stress. Today I want to share some tips on how to
deal with stress and anxiety. October was actually one of the busiest
months of my year. I was preparing for the launch of my new Artist of Life Workbook and the Daily Planner. I was preparing for the launch event, planning all of that, which is happening very soon. And also recording podcasts for the new podcast
season on top of making videos for YouTube. And it was my birthday, everything that life
throws at you all at once. It was pretty crazy. So inevitably, I get pretty stressed out even though I’m trying my best to handle everything. Let me just debunk the myth that stress is
an inevitable part of life. I don’t believe that. I choose not to believe that, because even
though stress is very common – everyone here has probably experienced stress in life – yes, life can be stressful at times. I believe that if you meditate and whatever,
you’ll be able to achieve some state of zen where you’re so so present that you are never stressed. I do believe that it is possible to live life
more stress-free and more worry-free. Don’t believe that stress is unavoidable,
because it is avoidable. So today I’m going to share some tips on how
to deal with stress and how to prevent you from being
too overwhelmed by stress. My first tip when you’re feeling stressed is to
1) Take a shower or a bath. There’s something about cleansing yourself
physically that also cleanses yourself mentally. It also cleanses your energy, just washing
away all those impurities. It relaxes you instantly. Also take time to hydrate and drink lots of water after that shower or bath, and you’ll feel so much better already. My second tip is the biggest one: 2) Be present. You notice that, when you’re stressed, you’re usually feeling worried or anxious about the future because it’s uncertain. You’re unsure whether you’re gonna pass this test, or you’re not sure whether something’s
going to be certain, and that can drive us crazy if we allow it to. But when you’re present, you’re focused on
whatever’s in front of you. And if you haven’t noticed: You can always, always handle the present moment in front of you. So whatever challenge is happening in your life, if it’s the situation you’re in right now-right now,
you’ll deal with it. But usually we’re stressed because we’re trying to deal with the situation that has not happened yet. It’s in the future. That’s what’s causing the stress. Know that your power is here, in the present moment. You can think of a time when you maybe had
a huge test in school coming up and you were really stressed about it. You were really stressed out studying or preparing, or maybe procrastinating made you really stressed out. But when you’re actually there taking the test,
you’re not stressing out. You’re focused, you’re flowing. You’re like, “Okay, let me figure this out. Let me do this…” You’re solving the problem in front of you. Stress is a trick your mind plays on you before
anything is actually happening. Stress is the anticipation, not the action. So focus on the action in the present moment
and you’ll be fine. My third tip is to 3) brain dump. Journal it all out. When you journal out all your thoughts, worries,
anxieties, you see what’s causing your stress and you see how irrational some of your fears
or worries might be. This might help you feel more clear afterwards,
so that you’re not in your head all the time. Once you see it down on paper, you’ll be able
to organize your thoughts a little bit. You might even give yourself advice in your
journal session. Usually I just help myself when I’m journaling it out. “I’m worried about this. But also: this, this, and this.
It’s okay because this, this, and this.” So you can really use journaling as a tool
to relieve your stress, to tell yourself – remind yourself – that it’s going to be okay. You can also use this journaling session to help you plan out those next steps to help you get out of this stressed situation. You can use it as a productive time to get
organized, plan your next baby steps, see what beliefs or thoughts are holding you back. Really use it to get clear. The fourth step if you’re a super stressed
or super anxious person is to 4) Talk to someone and get help. Sometimes you need an outsider’s perspective
to be able to see your situation clearly. So talking to a trusted friend or therapist can really help you relieve your stress and anxiety and put you at ease and feel at peace a little more. An amazing resource to get connected with
a licensed therapist online is BetterHelp. I’m really grateful to have BetterHelp
sponsor today’s video. BetterHelp is a platform for affordable, private,
online counseling. Their website and app offers access to licensed,
trained and accredited counselors and therapists, straight from your home, so that anyone who’s
struggling can get help anytime, anywhere. How it works is: You fill out a survey and they match you with a counselor who’s perfect for you. You’ll be able to see a description of your
therapist, his/her specialties, years of experience, and reviews from other clients too. You can always switch with the therapist if you don’t vibe with the one you got matched with. So after sharing a little bit about myself
and my situation, BetterHelp matched me with a therapist in
a day and we scheduled a live video chat. So that was actually my first experience with
talking to a therapist. And even in the first session, it was just
refreshing to be able to share my problems and anxieties honestly with someone who doesn’t
know who I am. And I even cried a lot in the first session
which I totally did not expect. But it’s just been very healing and a different
experience to try out. So if you’re interested definitely check out BetterHelp because it’s so easy and accessible to use. You can learn more at the description down below. Tip 5) Detach yourself from the outcome and
trust the process. Understand that, in life, there are things that you can control and things that you cannot control. And it’s worthless, it’s a waste of time to focus and worry about things that are outside of your control. So just focus on everything that you can control. Basically, do your best and release your control
of the outcome. Consider having this new perspective:
I don’t mind what happens. When you don’t mind what happens, you are
living more carefree, you have zero expectations. Whatever happens, happens. I actually have a previous video where I talked about that quote, where I first heard about it, which I’ll link down below. The idea is that life will take you in these
different directions. You will have challenges and hard times,
but everything given to you, everything put in front of you in life is there to help you grow, to help you learn, to help you get stronger. So just trust that whatever’s in front of you is whatever you have to grow through, whatever you have to face. And an easy life is not real. There’s no easy life. There’s no perfect life. Bad things are gonna happen. Challenges are gonna happen. So as long as you have the mindset of: “I’m just gonna do my best and not care about the outcome. I’m here to learn,” you’ll be okay. Tip 6) Meditate I honestly would’ve put this earlier on in the steps but I feel like I say it so much that I wonder if you guys are sick of it. But meditation should be in every single video
because it is one of the cornerstone habits, one of the main tips of being more stress-free,
carefree, happy in life. It just has so many benefits. If you could just meditate five minutes a day, you’ll already feel the benefits of a more calm mind, and a more centered soul, if you know what I mean. Meditation is learning to realign with your
soul and softening the noise around you, and remembering that your soul within, it’s
always still, it’s always strong. Your soul is invincible. So meditation is a reminder to come back to that and realize that everything around is just temporary. It’s not going to stay like that forever. Anyway, if it’s difficult for you to meditate, you can definitely try guided meditations
like Calm or Headspace. Or you could try spa music. I really like Spotify spa music in the background
sometimes, just because it’s so relaxing. There’s also a quote that I heard once that
really stuck with me, something like: “Fifteen minutes of meditation a day is essential. If you are busy, then an hour is necessary.” I actually think that’s a quote that keeps
coming up in my meditation app Zenfriend. But anyway, it’s super true that you should
meditate every day, but if you are busier or if you are more stressed,
then you should meditate longer. I know it’s counter – When you’re busy,
you’re like, “I don’t have time for meditation.” But when you’re busy is when
you need meditation the most. The last tip for when you’re feeling stressed
is to 7) Take care of yourself. Take care of your body, your health, your well-being. Don’t forget that self care always comes first, because you have to be okay in order to function in everyday life. So make sure you’re eating healthy, drinking
a lot of water, getting enough sleep. It really is the basics. And I know that when we’re busy or stressed,
we tend to sacrifice things like that. We tend to cut sleep, we tend to eat unhealthy
because it’s more convenient. But when you’re busy, that’s actually the
time that you need those things more. The busier you are, the more you own it to
yourself to take care of yourself. Lastly, I want to leave you guys with a quote
that I really like. It’s by Dale Carnegie: “Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home
and think about it. Go out and get busy.” That just means that, when you’re feeling
stressed, anxious, worried, which are all versions of fear, it means that
it’s all happening in your head. And the best thing that you can do to get out of that state is to simply take action. Similar to my point of being present,
focus on what you can do right now in the present moment, and do your best. That’s the best that you can do. And when you start to take action, you will
feel like – the fear dissolves because you’re so focused on what you’re doing. So when you just sit home and you’re just thinking, of course you’re gonna feel stressed and scared, all of this. But when you’re taking action, you feel more
confident and you have more courage and bravery to keep going and to just get things done. So I send you guys all of that positive energy,
all of that just-do-it energy. And I hope that whatever stress you’re
going through right now, that you just take a step back from your life, appreciate it for what it is, be grateful for everything that you have, and just relax. Appreciate the beauty, and after you do that, focus on what’s in front of you and get to work. Alright, love you all so so much. Make sure you check out BetterHelp down below. And I will see you guys in the next one. Bye!

About the author


  1. Happy to be back in the flow of making videos lately, this one was really fun & came naturally to me 😊 Here are some recent updates:
    🌟I recently launched a new shop for the 2019 Artist of Life Workbook and Daily Planner by Lavendaire:
    🌟The Lavendaire Lifestyle podcast returns this SUNDAY, Nov 11. Listen on iTunes, Spotify, etc (

    What holiday or new year content do you want to see? Excited to plan the next videos!

  2. So better health is a proven scam, they work with you tubers and give them good help but everyone else gets suck service. Also they are pricy. Ik you prob don’t know A, but they really aren’t the type of company you should be sharing with ppl.

  3. My thesis made me sleep deprived for 2 weeks, didn't check sns for about 2 days, and now i saw you posting this video.. I want to express my gratitude as it came in the right time!! I feel like this will not work out.. My projects are a mess and the workload is crazy! My head hurts for about a week or so because of revisions. Hays. Anyways. Just sharing. Hehehe.
    Love you lavendaire! You're a saviour!

  4. I thought this would just be the usual kind of stress management tips but you took it to a more deeper level, connecting the person to their soul and kind of confronting them to deal with the problem instead of stressing about it and doing nothing. Thank you for making this one it's so spot on in my life right now and I really need it. It's such an eye opener.

  5. After 4 stressful days of 10+ hour shifts at the hospital, I sooooooo needed this. You're videos are always on time aileen 💕💓 thank youuu.

  6. Your Videos are so good. So good listen to you, it's so motivating, it's so strenght giving. Thanks for that and for beeing yourself. Respect for what you're doing and creating all the time.♡

  7. thank you so much for this! i’m a really easily stressed person, i can’t really handle a lot of things at once, and once I know i cant handle it, i start to stress out over little things.

  8. hmm.. I remember having a test in school, I did not stress too much about it but during the test I felt so stressed(even though I did now answers) I had diarrhea. Not sure how people do this "no stress" at present moment. Like, its just something you feel even though its unwanted. I cant take a shower in class or at work XD

  9. I have just discovered your channel. Your ideas and methods have truly ignited a deep inspiration within my soul. Thank you for producing this content. It’s so meaningful and so important. Thank you thank you thank you. I send you only the best wishes for your future.

  10. I know that meditation comment/quote is so true, but because I feel so busy and overwhelmed, just thinking about sitting for 15 minutes doing nothing (aka meditating) stresses me out even more. But I need to get over it and just do it.

  11. I think I could listen to you talk all day. You are such an inspiration to me to be productive and take care of my self-care. I love you and your channel! Keep on making these wonderful videos!👏💞

  12. Hello! This video comes so handy! Last year I also used BetterHelp for a few months and it was awesome! Not only did it help me WHILE i was there, but it has given me resources to carry on and implement even nowadays.

    I miss the space and care it gave me, but I've learned to give it to myself 💕

  13. Spanish subtitles are available! Click "CC" and check the video settings. Thank you to the contributor listed in the description 💕

  14. Better help has its reputation stained too badly to be trusted 🙁 I've read that anyone can sign up as a therapist even if they have nothing to do with it professionally. And The price is still very high

  15. I'm a med student vlogger and I love tip 2! Exams and quizzes can induce so much stress but it totally helps to be present while I'm talking to my friends and working out! I absolutely love journaling too and am planning to get back into it 🙂

  16. I've always been a pretty "chill" person (my favourite word lol), able to regulate and process stress well. But like any other person, stress, worry, and fear still hung around in the background and would occasionally overwhelm me. I eventually fell into depression and suicidal thoughts, but all that changed when I truly gave my life to Jesus. He has given me complete peace; no matter what happens, I am able to live in love and not fear. Aileen, I love your idea that stress doesn't have to be a part of life–you're completely right! It seems too good to be true, but I promise that it's so, so real! I pray that everyone reading this would know that God loves them and that they can call out to Him for help at any moment. He's not mad at you and you're never to far gone. He loves you!

  17. I always come back to this video when i am stressed and cant function. Thank you for putting out such important contents. Really appreciate it. 🌹

  18. One of the main teachings of Zen practice is that stress is unavoidable, but we practice to accept and handle it better, sometimes avoiding it entirely. It is ok to feel stressed. We accept and adapt. To say that to Zen-out is to ultimately be free of stress forever is antithetical to Zen practice.

  19. I just wanna say something.. Thank You <3 because you really help me either that u dont now me but I really wanna say you Thanks.

  20. Stressed, i try to draw a pictrue, an actual picture or a detailed picture in my brain. It has to have real framing lines, shapes and color, also temperature when you touch it, and maybe the ringing sound when the air goes thru it. You know, objectifying your emotion or stress helps a lot to be calm about it. And figure why, why you want to run away from it. Find your fear. Maybe the answer is from somewhere you never thought or remembered in daily routines. Maybe your parents’ words? your lover’s criticism,l? they can all linger in your mind and keep you from being courageous.

  21. I would use something much more simple, efficient and 100% free 🙂 Like READING, watching movies, playing your favorite games, giving yourself some little treats, GOING OUT, and so on. I've been in a corporate job for years and I DO know a thing or too about being stressed 🙂

  22. About the shower, a few days ago I noticed that after having it I felt like so fresh and less anxious. With your video I confirmed that it's true. Thanks for sharing us those tips, I have anxiety disorder and sometimes is more harder for me to handle basic things. But trying your tips will help me a lot. You're amazing ❤

  23. a lack of sleep isn’t something that I get often, but just recently I got it really badly, and I wanted to tell you guys exactly how I managed to get more sleep super quickly. to not be able to sleep can feel a bit disturbing as it’s so hard to control it, especially if you have stress like mine, it’s really obvious!
    The thing is, stress is super common, and there are a ton of things that can cause it; from too much work or new habits to not managing your time. Some people are more prone to it than others, but most people will experience it at some point in their life.
    in this article will find some of the things I’ve used to get more sleep, which have always worked really well for me.
    have a nice day

  24. Thank you from Georgia🇬🇪 I really love your videos, they come just in right time and I hope I will be able to do all the tips above❤Love Lavendaire❤

  25. I have a blood condition that can lead to cancer and believe that stress played a huge part:

  26. shower
    take water
    be present
    journal for reassurance or planning on whats causing stress
    talk get help
    trudt journey dont fret the results.
    be healthy. water sleep food
    take action. what can u do right now?

  27. This was great, thanks, I've been looking for "how to get over my social anxiety" for a while now, and I think this has helped. Have you heard people talk about – Qanwen Donuke Approach – (search on google ) ? Ive heard some unbelievable things about it and my friend got excellent success with it.

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