I thought Depression was a luxury!

This lighting is not to good, I can tell. what is up YouTube? what is happening? what is going on? what is up? get all my wrinkles
and fucking like black eye and everything up stuffing weird ear good
get it all in there and see it all through the camera so this is what’s up
I want to tell you guys what’s up I am going through a crisis shouldn’t swallow
said I wouldn’t swear now I always been creative of done a lot of creative
things whether it is creating music which is what I started with whether it
is helping friends with music videos directing some smaller films I’ve always
had this creative outbursts and this channel I took everything down
from this channel if you check the day I think I created this channel in 2012 and
I had uploaded some videos and I went hiatus because I was helping everyone
else and I wasn’t creating anything for myself
there was this quite right that I heard from 50 cent I think was the person that
said it the quote was I can’t even get the point out that’s how like that’s how
intense it is you know what I’m saying so like I’m sorry for the lighting
that’s first of all you always get that if you’re gonna have like a backdrop
like that the quote itself it was hold on two seconds so the quote was I have
it here fuse depression is a luxury I can’t afford
so I see haters and I just keep on working it’s cool I’m not here by
accident shit I bet it would work a lot different because I already just been
able to be involved with the business aspect good thing and you wouldn’t have
to be the the personal and the psychological because people don’t
understand us a lot of shit behind the thing is that going with just when you
delete or when you go one in front you have to be a counselor you got to be a
preacher psychologist you got to be all this shit because motherfuckers depend
on you and you can’t be like I ain’t fucking with you today nigga you got to
open your heart up your ears and put your family on pause or whatever you
doing to make sure you taking care of the crew you’re in line and it’s a like
at points if you ever going through something emotional y’all there’s no
there’s no break there’s a I say depression is a luxury I can’t afford
I said that I said like when they get going today things whatever it is and
they have those feelings I said well when I get a chance to do that because I
can’t afford that luxury depression is a luxury I can’t afford out of it all that
stuck with me he wrote this in 2010 and I think about this every day because
when I was grinding I was coming up when Alabama started to come out and before
clothing lines were all the thing I started to import an export clothes
I didn’t just purchase a bunch of t-shirts and brand it and sell it off I
actually started talking to manufacturers from all warehouses across
China that I built a relationship at 19 and I couldn’t speak any
Mandarin at all and we just had this communication barrier but we were able I
was able to get a really good supplier and a really good distributor
manufacturer cuz there’s a lot of difference in those terms and I was
doing some wholesale and um and I was constantly working the point of the
story is that I was constantly working at 19 doing everything I had just moved
from Perth which is the most isolated city in the world over to Sydney because
I like the crying I like the daily hustle I like I like the feel of Sydney
Sydney is like like a sunny in New York that feel that hustle and bustle
everything’s on the grow everything is moving everything is happening and I
personally felt really connected to the same that’s probably why it’s been stuck
in my mind this entire time and it doesn’t go away depression is a luxury I
can’t afford what is meant by that it was meaning that
why don’t have time to be depressed I have so much to do I have people relying
on me I have friends that need this I have family members that need this
I have acquaintances that need this I need to be at this place I need to
attend this meeting I need to do this and that for everyone else right and
sure like you get a monetary return but I hit a stage in my life where
everything caught up to me and I had tweeted it no I put this on a Facebook
post years ago and I had hit back from friends and followers and everything
else and I didn’t understand why I was always wondering like what don’t people
get about this light if you’re depressed if you have time to stop and sit in your
room whilst the rest of the world turns that is a luxury that I can’t have now I
had a point in my life where I get a complete 180 on that I I realized that
what I was doing wasn’t making me happy I took down all the videos all the
videos I had on YouTube music that I had I wanted people to delete there anything
with any like anything that I had a part of I wanted people to like delete I
don’t know why I eat it’s and it’s not like I stopped looking at depression as a luxury and because I for the first
time went through it a true depression like I’m saying like I could have my
girlfriend I could have my family and it’s linked to happiness they could all
make me laugh and give me joy but they couldn’t make me happy and the things
that I was doing wasn’t making me happy it brought me to a point of depression I
was left everyone left left everybody and went to a complaint new city I
hustle my ass off I went to China when I would when I knew no one spoke to
different warehouses right to communicate put a backpack on my back a
suit and nothing like I didn’t have nothing it’s crazy because this who one
of my best mates calling me right now hey bud hey Don what’s going on eh I’m
just doing a video at the moment can I call you back all right
I’ll speak to see sure so I I did all these things to to to grind to you to
these things at the time while making me happy this is what I thought and that’s
with everything if you get a chain you think you’re gonna be happy if I go get
my like my hair is a mess right now if I go get a fade it’ll sort of make me
happy but is it gonna make me happy in a long jetty of things of an understanding
of what you were doing and what you’re trying to achieve and just back to the
slight point of my friend family and friends bringing me joy and hat and
laughter they can never make me happy that’s that’s that’s the one thing
that’s internally you got to do for yourself and that’s what I’m realizing
that’s why this I’ve stopped king of this as a luxury and I’ve
understood that depression is just deep rest right deep breaths you need your
body needs deep rest if you’re going at a hundred miles an hour it comes to a
point where your body will shut down we weren’t built for this we made all of
this for ourselves for the human races and it’s an amazing accomplishment but
our bodies weren’t built for this so when it comes to all these materialistic
and all these world situations that is made by the human race and isn’t natural
it’s only gonna come to a stage where you feel down and you don’t know why and
it’s not a luxury I just want to make that clear it is not a luxury depression
is a terrible thing but what right now I understand it as is that it’s a state of
rest it’s a state where you need to stop look around realize what you have
appreciate what you have chill out for a moment and try and try to put your best face forward now I’m
not saying try and put your best face forward and bottle it and bottle the
emotions I’m saying you need to do a realization on yourself and you need to
do an analysis on yourself this is why I’m sort of
at this stage I’m making this video as you can see I’m not I’m not a person
that is usually really shy and or anything like that like I’m always there
for all of my friends all of my business acquaintances and they can come to me
with any issue and I’ll sit there and I’ll listen and I’ll do my best to help
them out and be proactive but I hate talking about my own issues I don’t know
why I’m still figuring it out I’ve come to a point where I gotta start doing
things doing things now for me when I did all those plugins stuff I then did
wholesale for bands did everything all merch I’ve always done stuff for other
people and this is where it starts so bear with me we’re gonna get there and I’m super
excited to bring you just I just true art from myself hopefully some some
definitely some little vlogs here and there as well bring haha
definitely keep on top of the community and now on I won’t be reuploading all
the videos from 2012 until now they are gone
and I’ve lost a little subs because I haven’t done stuff for myself I know
that this is different so I want to bring you guys because they care about
art I want to bring you guys enlightenment in things that I learned
and understand and if you’re feeling down most of all it’s it’s not what the
videos that I’m gonna put forward if you this is this is really the videos that
I’m gonna put forward that’s for myself and I hope you can follow me in this
journey but if you ever are feeling down then if if you have anxiety about
something about starting this and starting that and and that leads to a
depressed state contact me forever hit me up I know how it feels
I’m not a person that speaks and tells it to anyone this is actually the first
time I’m speaking about this and that says a lot by itself you know what
I’m saying it says that I’m not still over this but I want to go I want to I
want to go and be there for someone that is still going through theirs and we can
work it out together like I don’t have I don’t claim to be this guy that has all
the answers but I have some understanding and I’m willing to share
that understanding so bear with me all right

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