If There Was An Olympic Games For Depression


(fast paced music) – Welcome back to the Depression Olympics. Where you’re joining us live at the Women’s Getting Out of Bed Finals. – And all eyes are on Amanda Rosenberg of Team Great Britain. – Although, critics have said
that getting married recently could hurt her chances of
snagging Depression gold. – Although, if her marriage
is anything like mine, it’s only increased her
chancing of winning the gold. (whistle) – Okay. There’s the whistle and she is starting with the classic head under the covers. There’s a little bit of movement. There’s gonna be a deduction for that. Really breaks the illusion of death and that’s what the
judges are looking for. – And here comes the first peep. Looks around. A really smooth transition
back under the covers. Nicely done. – Now let’s talk about
Rosenberg for a second here because I’ve been following
her career for quite some time. She’s a triple threat. How else are we gonna say it? We’re talking about
depression, anxiety, PTSD. She’s got it all. – But let’s not forget last year, at the World Anxiety Championships, where she placed third in Crying at Work, second in Crying Everywhere Else and took home the Gold for Sitting Alone in the Dark While Thinking
About the Worst of Things. – Nooo. – Here’s the first no. Soft, distressed. Nice. – Nooo!
– A little harsher. – The way that she
conveys her inner anguish through one word, it’s just beautiful. – Nooo!
(crying) – Loud with a cry at the end. So pained. Magnificent. This is textbook crying, Julie. – And she’s straight into
the stare at the ceiling and contemplate death. Now this move requires
maximum concentration and it looks like… Oh. Yes. She’s clearly numb and wants out. (fast paced music) – Noooo! – [Siri] I can help you find a place if you turn on location services. – We’re coming up to the three hour mark which means we’re going
to looking at a dismount as she’s launched herself onto the floor! Oh my God. She’s an absolute mess and it’s amazing. – Stuck the landing, face first. Wow, that is perfection. – Watch your back China
because Rosenberg is back and she’s more depressed than ever. Sorry folks here. Seems to be something going on. What are we looking at here? – Don’t know. It appears as though, instead
of staying on the floor and worming herself to the bathroom. Rosenberg appears to want to be… I mean I wanna say standing? – [Bob] This is unprecedented and completely unprecedented. I honestly don’t know what to say here. – I mean, I don’t know what to think Bob. Are we going to see a walk? As we all know, any walking results in an immediate disqualification. – You know, in 20 years of
covering the Depression Olympics, I have not once seen anyone upright. – Hold on, Hold on. She’s turning. She’s facing the bed and… Oh, look at that. – Can’t believe what we’re
seeing with our eyes right now. – Rosenberg has stunned us all with a double back, double face
first bed dismount remount. Unbelievable stuff. Just when you thought you’d seen it all. Just when you thought you knew exactly how depressed Rosenberg was. – This is what I love about
the Depression Olympics. You never know what you’re gonna get and that’s what makes it so fun. – [Julie] What she did today was original. It was expertly executed
(coughing) and it was a Gold Medal
winning performance. – Don’t go away because
we’ve got the Men’s I Don’t Need to Talk to Anyone Relay coming up right after these messages.

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Comments

  1. That was very powerful actually… I just want her to get strong… good video

    … and it's all Zack Morris's fault, he's trash

  2. This event is brought to you by Zoloft*. Because we can't all be athletes.

    *May cause drowsiness, insomnia, nervousness, nausea, skin rash, sexual impotence, diarrhea, and some other things possibly worse than depression.

  3. How is this funny? And how can people who have truly experienced the black hole of depression that looks just like this, think that this is funny. I'm all about laughing and I usually love their videos, but as far as where we are with mental health in this country, this is not something to make light of and laugh about.

  4. Cover other categories, too! Communicating to people throughout the day, pretending and smiling- that should be a good one.

  5. She is giving birth to sad emotions, that's why a Vulcan mind training will work, with a Kolinahr training you can abort that emotions before it reach full term, you won't want that full term even tho it's euphoric and out of any oxygen.

  6. I should sign up for the, "Men who are too scared to check who's knocking at the front door" category.

    It's under the Social anxiety and Agoraphobia events. I can bring home the gold.😰

  7. They didn't show that great part where the spouse comes in and says:
    "Are you depressed enough now?
    Am off then, byyye!"👋

  8. Dragging yourself out of bed to halfway clean yourself and walking around with a plastered smile should be an event.

  9. who else watched this through one eye half opened leaning over the arm of their couch dreading having to crawl to the bathroom ???? pls don’t reply.

  10. Just for awareness purposes: not all depression looks like this. Some people look happy af, get up for work early, but feel depressed on the inside. I had phases too where I’d jump in bed anytime I could, but it’s not always like that

  11. I want to have a have a tournament where I battle my ill-logic with the best psychiatrists/therapists in the world. I’ll win gold.

  12. Bitch please. This is literally the only Olympics where I'd be the greatest. I got up at 10 am this morning, and my work starts at 10. I'm still in bed and typing from my phone. No need to get up and turn on my laptop… next to my bed. Amateurs. I also find my deep-rooted depression hilarious, so I'm glad someone else knows how to make a good joke about crippling hatred for life.

  13. This is so dumb. There's already a worldwide multicultural event for people with depression. It's called social media with some venues being facebook, instagram, youtube and twitch.
    The current lead is held by United States confused teens with access to firearms.
    Now that's some comedy for you!!!

  14. I suffer from depression most of my life, and this is was an hilarious spot-on dark-humor of my self-pity days, and I enjoyed every second. It cheered me a bit, so I thank you.

  15. This is sadly my life for all of my life despite trying every anti-depressant ,mood stabilizer, and therapy for more than half my life and nothing got better!!!!😭😭😭

  16. The only thing worse then depression is dealing with someone with depression. They contemplate suicide while you contemplate murdering them.

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