Michelle’s Story: Lifted from the Depths of Depression

Hi, my name is Michelle and I’m currently a fourth year in college I’m majoring in biology and when I’m not studying I like to go on hikes and do anything with nature sometimes I snorkel and on my free time, I’ll also volunteer at the beach I’ve lived in California my whole life I have a pretty normal life I have very loving parents and my parents, they’re from Taichung, from Taiwan We go back every year to go see our relatives and pay our respects to our ancestors my immediate and my distant family, all of them are all casual Buddhists and as a kid growing up my family, they had bad experiences with Christians and because of that they taught me oh, Christianity is a pompous religion that they’re really entitled they’re really self-righteous and because of that, I really absorbed this ideals and, you know, I had a bad taste in my mouth whenever I think about Christians but for whatever reasons, I still believed in God I felt that there has to be some kind of intellectual being that created this universe there has to be some kind of first and a last so because my family were Buddhists I really embraced their principles I really liked the idea how righteous how justified the religion is how there is a reincarnation how there’s a punishment and reward for the things that you do in your current lifetime and I really also, I love nature so of course, I really liked how they really respect nature how they embrace love and peace these principles were great but it didn’t protect me from developing OCD, depression and later a voice in my head that will tell me what to do and as a kid growing up I actually was a very sad child I’ve always felt an emptiness in my heart I felt that everything was in vain if you struggle, if you labor, if you enjoy life at the end of the day, everyone’s going to die so what’s the purpose of living? and I also thought much about life I felt that I thought about how cruel human beings are how unfair the world is so I was very, very sad and because of this I developed depression and I remember I would even contemplate suicide and I would think of ways, which ways would be most painless sometimes I would stare at the balcony and then really would want to jump off of it but thank goodness I didn’t have the courage at the time to do it and as I said before, I also developed OCD and the thing is this only happened at night that I would always have to repetitively wash my hands and this was because I had a voice in my head that would tell me what to do it would go say oh, go wash your hands, go wash your hands again do it again, do it again, again go turn on the lights, go turn off the lights, go check the oven it would tell me these things at night and it would prevent me from sleeping so I would get up, go wash my hands, go back to bed get up, go wash my hands, go back to bed and this would happen for maybe two to three hours before I would be too tired and fall asleep so the first time I came in contact with True Jesus Church it was truly God’s perfect timing, God’s perfect guidance that led me to this church because during the time I was struggling with the OCD, the depression the voice in my head God really placed a sister to be in contact with my mom so my mom and this sister were friends but they just happened to not be in contact for the past few years and they just suddenly started to talk again she casually invited me to this church camp that they’re having and I didn’t want to go, but my mom actually forced me to go to make some new friends so I relucantly went so when I came to this camp I was very, very open-minded they taught me how to pray, and then I obediently went, knelt down and prayed and they taught me about the Holy Spirit and they taught me that I should ask for the Holy Spirit and this is kind of like a guardian angel to me I remember when I did receive the Holy Spirit which was second to last day of this church camp I remember that my tongue started to roll on its own and I felt very peaceful and very joyful and if you look at Acts chapter 2 it mentions that “Then there appeared to them divided tongues, as of fire, and one sat upon each of them.” and this was the same experiences that I had when I received the Holy Spirit that I started to speak in tongues So when I came back from this church camp it was truly a miracle because all the depression and OCD and the voice in my head that I mentioned before was miraculously just disappeared, vanished and I didn’t even ask for it and it was so amazing that I was able to just sleep soundly and I was able to I just felt like a cup inside my heart was just filled with joy it wasn’t empty anymore nothing is in vain anymore I felt like I have a purpose in life As I said before, I grew up as a casual Buddhist and because of that, I was never exposed to any Christianity background or history, none of that I didn’t even know Jesus was I just thought oh, He’s some kind of important person everyone knows His name so He must be important after I came back from the camp I finally knew who He was and I started to believe in Him I know that He really died for us that He really is God so after I came back from the church camp I was actually pulled out of church for six years but nevertheless, I still held my faith but during these six years there was a lot of conflicts in the family there was a lot of tension, a lot of silent treatments, questioning my faith it was pretty difficult but what really strengthened me during this time was it was mentioned in 2 Corinthians 4:8-9 this is actually one of my favorite verses because it really did pull me through these struggles so it says “We are hard-pressed on every side, yet not crushed we are perplexed, but not in despair persecuted, but not forsaken struck down, but not destroyed during these six years, I visited a couple of other Christian churches as well through my Christian friends at school and when I went there it was just a little bit different I just felt that God’s presence wasn’t really there although I have to say, when I went there I was really moved because the people there had so much love for God, so much love for man It’s just, I just personally feel God’s presence wasn’t there but I believe that God’s presence abides in True Jesus Church because I believe that it has doctrines that are aligned with the Bible and an evidence of that is the Holy Spirit and being able to speak in tongues Ever since I started believing in God I felt like I have a purpose in life, and that’s two things to serve a higher being and to seek after my salvation and the salvation of others and none of our lives are perfect we’re still going to be faced with sorrows and obstacles in this world but in this time that we are weak that’s when we can find God and be strengthened by Him we can lean on Him and what can man do? sure, they can comfort, they can sympathize but most of the times, they can’t solve problems that we inevitably face and this is when God comes in that God’s power can truly help either solve our problems and sometimes just give us strength.

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