“My Reflection” – A Bipolar Awareness Spoken Word Poem (Depression)

Blink. Too blind to see, eyes haven’t yet adjusted
to the blinding blackness, the sinking shadows, the realm of the unknown. My eyes will not adjust, they will not show
me what I need to see, they will just show me what’s already been seen. Open your eyes and I’ll let you see deep into
my closet. Push past the unending rows of clothes made
out of ancient bones. Sneak past monsters with their eyes aglow,
hiding in the shadows, waiting to consume your very soul. See past my impenetrable darkness and you
will find my secret chest. Brush off the cobwebs and pick it up. But move fast because everything in this closet
is booby-trapped, triggered to go off at the slightest movement. I said “move,”but I meant “run for your life,”
because this is not a wardrobe, but it will transport you to a different land, and that
place is not Narnia, but it is a frozen wasteland, and there’s no map for you to read, but even
if there were, remember that in this closet it’s too dark to see. Once you’re out, put down the box, blow the
dust off, but don’t expect anything glamorous. Don’t forget where you found my secret chest. It was hidden deep in the back of an old closet,
which was shrouded in so much darkness that you barely even noticed the army of skeletons
clawing to get out. At this point, you’ll need a key. Luckily, I’ve already fashioned one for you,
made from the residue of different chemicals. But be careful, because I never had a periodic
table, so I was never able to figure out the right elements, and ultimately that meant
that my chemicals were unbalanced to begin with. Now use that key, and open the box. What you’re about to see will defy everything
that you’ve been led to believe, because once you lift that lid you’ll find a darkness so
deep that it’ll make the closet seem sunny. And when you look inside you’ll think it’s
empty, but it’s not; there’s something in there. At the very bottom you’ll find a handheld
mirror. As you peer into the mirror you’ll notice
that everything glows. It’s so bright, as if the image itself is
emanating light. The reflection you’ll see is me, just a little
more robust, just a little more free from the darkness surrounding it, just a little
more friendly, a little more cheery, a little more everything. The face that you see in that little piece
of glass is still me, it’s just a little more manic-y. Now, see, for me, here’s the hard part of
the situation, the tricky truth of this trying tribulation: If I were to take that treasure
into the bathroom and look into the mirror there, and then look into the small handheld
version of my reflection, one of them is distorted, but the problem is I don’t know which one. And the biggest issue is when I’m him–the
better me that I see within that reflection–I walk around the house breaking mirrors because
I don’t want to get locked back in that chest, shoved back into that closet of darkness,
where my only chance for freedom comes when those chemicals are unbalanced just enough
to recreate another key. But, see, my memory, it remains with me, so
I have no choice but to break all the other mirrors, not because I’m afraid to see the
darkness there, but because other people are. They prefer this reflective reflection, this
shining perfection. I haven’t yet figured out which I am, the
one on the wall, or the one in my hand, but it doesn’t matter because they prefer the
other one.

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  1. Thanks for watching! Please let me know if you can relate, and if you like it please click the red SUBSCRIBE button above (It's free, and let's you keep up-to-date with my videos). ❤ Also, check out the companion poem to this here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AwnCJZpsNBA&index=13&t=0s&list=PLce2on2Dwa89ilq_6U2GVzMgSBvcOqiUJ

  2. It's done nicely with feelings, yeah you are not alone, am not alone, we're not alone and all of us aren't alone.

  3. Great job! 🙂 Thank you for raising awareness! Horrifying and sad, but hopeful at the same time. Love the images.

  4. It is absurd that this has 34 likes instead of 34,000! It is absolutely amazing! I have watched multiple times and shared also. All throughout I can feel every word as I also have bipolar disorder. I'm going to subscribe in hopes of hearing more! WELL DONE!!!

  5. I couldn't really relate to the poem. It had a theme and a rhyming scheme but I couldn't relate to it. It just seemed… like you really wanted to show how 'dark and brooding' it is to be bi polar, which sure it is when you're in a depressive episode – but the bit at the end about reflection and the other side was minimal and as such minimally displayed what it is like to be the other side of bi polar: Manic.

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