Narcissist Secret Weapon – – Prepare For Narcissistic Conversations


Hi, Wonderful, YouTube family Lisa a [Romano]. [the] break through life coach and today I want to talk about some of the tools that we can use to help us arm Ourselves against the narcissist [that] we bump up against in our lifetime and if you’re codependent [or] you’re an empath you are a magnet for people who can’t see you And I think that’s because [it’s] a codependent and an empath. We are so hyper vigilant and so worried about what other people think and we can’t help ourselves, but feel what other people [feel] and that ability although beautiful and helps us be really human and Allows us to connect to other people can be exploited by people who lack [the] ability to Feel what other people feel and generally in terms of their own psyche their personality they don’t care They don’t care how you feel they have an inability to feel what you feel and so for this video I want to talk about the narcissist secret weapon and the Narc is and the narcissist secret weapon and remember narcissists are There is them they fought there on a continuum. You know there are different levels of Narcissism and so The worst are antisocial personality disordered people who have their sociopaths and psychopaths and then we have [narcissus] that we bump into in the grocery store every day And so it’s important to understand that no, [narcissist] has to be exactly like another narcissist [and] so as you go about your day and as you think about people in your life, and You know your family members [and] spouses or ex-lovers or whatever you’ll be able to understand that perhaps the one quality that they all had was a lack of empathy or The way they communicated but the degree [to] their narcissism and to the to the to the degree [that] they were able to be cruel may have differed and So I believe that the number one tool that Narcissists use is what I call crazy communication like you can’t get from Point a to point B With a narcissist and that’s their agenda so a narcissist is codependent because a narcissist absolute needs a narcissistic supply a Narcissist can’t boost their own ego a narcissist needs I call it the body under the bed and When the narcissist is feeling a lack [of] energy they need someone to control and manipulate They need someone to boast in front of they need someone to make someone that they can actually suck the life out of and that It that will build up their energy stores So so a narcissist is a lack body a lack energy body that needs another energy body to feast off of in Order to increase their their power supply essentially if we’re going to talk about energy beings crazy-Making communication is Sort of it sounds like this and those of you who have experienced it will be able to relate so in my life the way it showed up is For instance, I would say to my ex-husband. What time you coming home? That’s a that’s a that’s a no-brainer conversation and an appropriate response would be Five o’clock and then the appropriate behavior would be my husband would come home at five to five or five after five But generally he’d be home around five o’clock and life would go on it would be seamless But when you’re dealing with someone is passive-aggressive, and [you’re] dealing someone with someone who is a narcissist, and they really don’t care how you feel [and] Their agenda is to stay above you and never actually equalize with you. It sounds like this so babe What time [we’re] gonna be home? I’ll be [home] later Well about what time will you be home so I can start cooking dinner. I don’t know what time [do] I usually come home That’s what time we’ll be home, and then they slam the door, and you’re left standing there like What just happened and now if he usually comes home around five o’clock? Tonight. He might come home at nine o’clock, and then when you ask him What’s up? He would say something like well um [I] never told you I wasn’t going to home at nine o’clock What are you so upset about? It’s [crazy-making] or well. You know I knew that you don’t like to be disturbed after six o’clock so that’s why I didn’t call you like he’s the hero or she’s the hero or Well, I knew that if I called you you were going to be pissed off And so you know if you didn’t act so crazy when I was going to be late. I probably would have called you this is The way they function in the world it is never. I’m sorry I didn’t give you a clear answer remember a narcissists agenda is to create Crazy-making conversation, it’s sort of like Shadow boxing three ghosts, so imagine you’re in a boxing ring, and you know you’re shot You’re getting punched in the face from three different boxers You know or four different boxes? And they’re ghosts you can’t see them so a narcissist agenda is to keep you off balance And so if you’re in a relationship with someone who cannot answer your questions Or who fails to give you clear Concise? answers, that’s a problem dear one and You will know that by how you feel in your body And it’s amazing to me to me that as we awaken as spiritual beings on this path of enlightenment We discover that Everything that we’ve been taught about ourselves is bullshit meaning We are supposed to pay attention to how we feel and what a concept You know from the day that we’re born we’re taught that we’re sinners that were not good enough that we have to be worthy of our parents attention and affection and validation and That the way that we look isn’t good enough Or that if we’re we’re [school-aged] children Our sneakers aren’t cool enough or our backpack isn’t cool enough or our hair isn’t straight enough Or it’s too curly or it’s too this or it’s too that Or our eyes or our skin color isn’t the right color. I mean, it’s just Everything in our society there are so many ways in which society at large tells us that we’re not enough So it’s amazing to me that On this healing journey we discover that everything that we’ve been taught about ourselves is complete bullshit. We are we are We were always enough, and we will always be enough that the fact that we are consciousness living this reality Qualifies us to be enough We don’t have to prove ourselves worthy to anyone. I think the biggest Aha moment for me was when I realized that. Oh my freaking. God my feelings matter Like seriously what I think and what I feel [about] people matters another aha moment for me and I’d like to share it with you all today is when I realize the difference between judging someone and discerning so when I’m judging someone I can feel that in my gut when I’m judging someone and God knows I’ve [been] it because I’ve been Judged and you only know how to judge because the data is there because you’ve been judged and so Whatever it whatever your parents [or] your past experiences Whatever. They’ve been they’ve been inputted into your brain and so now your brain plays with that information It’s not your brains fault so we judge because we’ve been judged when you’re judging someone You know it you don’t feel good you [feel] Ugly you feel Icky you feel nasty You feel you feel mean you feel it you know that you you’re walking on the dark side when you’re judging someone when you’re discerning It’s you’re still in your light body. You’re still you’re still in the spirit of light when you’re discerning It sounds like this wow, I’m speaking to my friend [I] just told her that I went to the movies last [night] and I loved the movie and She’s a conversational narcissist. She just went right to talking about the movie that she saw last weekend, so [what] happens is? narcissist those types of Narcissists They use what? Psychologists call shift responses so what they do is And you’ll notice it and what I’m trying to do is make you aware of how people communicate so that you can discern you can stay in your light body and discern what kind of person am [I] speaking to you need to tap into the spirit of Discernment so that you can keep yourself safe And you can teach your children how to do this and so a shift response ounds like that Like I just said and I’ll repeat it so so Karen. I went to the movies last night and Karen says Oh yeah, went to movies last week. You know what I saw I saw I saw I saw South park with Jake Gyllenhaal and Bubba vent so as you can see her response was unsupportive to my comment, so Conversational narcissists they have they can’t they have to be seen in the conversation they have to somehow Bring the conversation back to themselves. [they] have a very difficult time Being able to support other people now It’s really you have to also check yourself. See if when you’re speaking to people if you do that I know that. I’ve done that unknowingly and unaware [‘only] and the more that I learned about My own the way I communicate I can take accountability for it do I think I’m a narcissist not at all I have Complete Empathy for the people in my lives and I and I so want them to feel okay and want them to feel loved and and when I learned that I may have been not as nice as perhaps to my children or when I was insensitive perhaps to to someone in my [family] and they love and trust me enough to tell me I’m wounded that I heard somebody and so I [loved] that about myself and I appreciate that about myself, but I’ve also learned to appreciate it on other people, so now Narcissists when we’re married to narcissists their greatest weapon against us is this crazy making conversation? So what I want to do is I want to teach you some ways in which you can learn to protect yourself [in] a practical sense because there’s a whole lot of talk about what a Narcissist is and like I say [all] the time is like we need tools We need to know what to do when we discover that [we’re] we’re dealing with the narcissist I see everything in terms of energy and so a Narcissists agenda is to sort of like. They’re like vampires they want to suck the energy out of you and the more depleted you are the better they [feel] and so and that serves them in a number of ways [if] you’re dealing with an arm her husband’s a narcissist [and] He’s able to use crazy communication with you, or your wife is a narcissist And she’s able to make you feel responsible for why she is? uncaring for your feelings Then what happens is she gets to witness and he gets to witness your energy drop Now what happens in in the psyche of a narcissist at least I think so [is] that that helps them feel better than you? They see themselves is more powerful Stronger more in control than you because you [are] you are being drained and losing your [shit] like you’re going crazy You know a narcissist? exploits the needs of a codependent and A narcissist has the ability to make a very nice Codependent [act] extremely irrational you know tell and tell a codependent that you didn’t say what you said and that’s enough to ignite the I am not enough wound and that’s enough to like light the whole world on fire and Narcissus like to exploit the needs and the wounds of [codependence]. That’s what they do so the more out of control you are [Dr1] the more in control the Narcissist feels, so My mind strategies are all founded in the idea that the goal is to Help you learn to take control over your vibration because your vibration is where it’s at. You have to stay [high-flying] We have to stay [high-flying] for our children. We have to teach our children how [to] secure their borders how to secure their boundaries we have to teach our children how to discern You know who is supportive and who is not supportive what friend? Makes everything about her and what friend is able to actually show up for you What boyfriend actually cares about how you feel and what? Boyfriend couldn’t give a rat’s ass about how you feel You know these are the things that we need to learn and pass on to our children in a non-judgmental way? And we have to teach our children that when they’re judging they feel bad And when they’re discerning they feel good, and so that’s really really important that that you jot that down and so um Narcissus doesn’t respond to you appropriately [so] they will go out of their [way] to ignore and just Completely bypass whatever you brought to the table [and] If you’ve decided like we’re going to talk about what you can do in friendship So let’s say you’ve attracted a passive narcissist into your life or conversational narcissist who is unsupportive? Doesn’t know how to keep the dialogue going back, and they always bring whatever you said back to them Oh yeah, I did that oh yeah. I did that oh yeah. I had that oh yeah that happened to me. [oh] yeah oh yeah, oh yeah, and Then puts you in a place where you don’t feel seen which is So close to [our] mortal wound of feeling invisible as children so what I want you to do is a couple of things Understand that your agenda is to hold on to your energy, right? So the first thing that you’re going to do is you’re going to discern When you’ve discerned that you’re speaking to someone who has uses unsupportive communication you have to know from that point on it’s all about you holding on to your energy and We and we don’t want to lock horns with this person because they’re not going to get it. They’re not going to get it So the first thing is discern the second thing is accepted you [know] you’re talking to someone who is unsupportive and likes to talk about themselves and The worst thing you can do is you know go toe-to-toe with them, so the first thing is to surround the second thing is accepted The third thing is don’t expect anything This is [not] your time. This is not your conversation This is not the relationship to sow seeds in this is your time [to] just pull back and observe just observe it the next thing that I Suggest you do is that you don’t confront their ego. Don’t call them out on it because That’s going to send them off into a tizzy that’s going to increase their need to kind of like bonk you over the head which is going and which may you actually may pull you into the Wrestling wrestling ring with them which you don’t want to do so don’t challenge them just discern accept it observe of it Don’t expect anything um Smile and Nod mm-hmm while it sounds interesting wow okay? Wow that sounds amazing [well] good for you Mm-Hmm you see it seems now. You’ve got to be able to wrestle your own ego because so many of us We get we get we get fired up We realize we’re [talking] to someone who doesn’t see us, and we get fired up and that’s where ego comes in and you’ve got to be smarter than the ego because the ego is going to want to like show this person that they are wrong and Show this person that they don’t see you and tell this person how terrible they are But you see that’s judgmental You’re stepping into the spirit of judgment and that’s going to feel ugly [that’s] going to feel that’s going to feel very dank so you don’t want to do that, so this type of tactic only works if you’re willing to check your ego at the door and like I said my agenda these days is to hold on to my vibration and take complete responsibility for it and Not allow other people to pull me off center, and so that’s what I’m trying to import on you is to help you gain control So let’s say that you have now that’s just that’s like a friend um so let’s say you have a narcissistic partner If you have a narcissistic partner and their agenda [is] to minimize you you know Narcissists are very hard nuts to crack and most people will tell you they’re impossible to crack because they can’t see it You know and I believe that What makes me human and what makes another person human is my ability to have empathy for you? it’s my ability to pick up the newspaper and see a mother holding a dead child and To feel and to imagine what that poor mother feels? She could be halfway across the world. It doesn’t matter she could be a different a different Religion it’s irrelevant [she] is a human being who has lost her child and I have the ability to connect to that moment in [time] with her Being human means that we have empathy and compassion for humanity That is the best of humanity. [I] live in New York and one when 9/11 happened I have to tell you I was so proud to be a new yorker. I was so proud to be a human being in spite of the tragedy of 9/11 [I] mean New York Came together and the Country the World Came together to support, New York and every day there were I found and I discovered that were more people that I knew that were went to went and bought went to Costco and Bought tons of socks for the firemen you know and and and t-shirts for the firemen and for the construction Workers and and the schools and the ptas that got together and chuck trucked water down in to help these rescue workers and You know the the tons of volunteers that that showed up? And we were one we were so United you know wherever you [are] in New York on the day of 9/11 or the day after in the months after Every time you looked into the eyes of another human being [you] saw your own pain you saw the experience and you felt connected in this divine Matrix So I believe that the tragedy brings [to] brings to our awareness heightens us heightens our consciousness, and that’s what’s What that’s the good thing about Chaos and tragedy because it does heighten our awareness? We wake up out of the [freaking] spell We’re not worried about you know what our boyfriends are doing or what our girlfriends are doing. We’re worried about something That’s really really significant and [powerful] and it affects all of us and so I have to say that in my opinion what makes people human is their ability to connect to another person now if You are dealing with a narcissist who lacks that Gene I? am struggling with saying that there you in I certainly they have flesh and certainly they’re there you have a heart but When it comes to what we need to have healthy relationships with other people? I’m sorry. I I am I’m leaning towards the idea that north Narcissists are not fully human and I’m sure I’m going to get letters and letters and emails about that, but you know Being human means that I can feel what you feel being human means I have the ability to have compassion You know you yawn yawn, that’s an empathy gene even even chimpanzees that [the] idea of Empathy between their species is built into them. That’s what makes them able to Not walk through the streets and will not walk through the jungle and actually kill every single other chimpanzee They say you know we need this this this this empathy gene We absolutely need [it] so that on in great tragedy like 9/11 and so many other disasters You know we are able to come together as a community and help one another But when there are [people] in our [midst] who? was agenda it is to minimize us and to destroy us I Have to question whether or not that person is as human as someone who has the ability to have empathy So it sucks when you wake up And you realize that you’ve attracted someone into your experience that doesn’t have the ability to see you, and I believe that those relationships cannot work They they can exist, but they can’t work and you cannot be happy I don’t believe in a relationship with the narcissist you can learn to hold on to your vibration And you can learn to have a wonderful [relationship] with yourself even [if] you’re dealing with the narcissist but only if you shut the door to the illusion that they can meet you that they can they can encourage you that they can have empathy for you if You’re a self containing human being and you know that you need [to] take care of yourself Well, then I guess you know you’re afraid to get divorced Or you’re afraid of what this narcissists will do if you get divorced [I] do believe that you can grow to a certain extent in that as long as you are closed to Expecting anything from them like you really have to it’s all about me now, and you use the spirit of discernment And let’s face it. You know lots of us discover that we’re married to narcissists, and we can’t leave tomorrow It’s that’s just the reality but I do believe that as you resonate higher that relationship will have to fall apart [and] So I’m hoping that if you do feel stuck that what you take away [from] this video Is [that] you disengage from the narcissist and you work on your own vibration? This kind of stuff means that you have to be completely responsible No more no more excuses for why you feel the way you feel? No more excuses for why you can’t feel better none. They have to be done you have [to] put them away I don’t care if you’ve got 17 children, and you’ve got three mortgages You have to find a way to make yourself [feel] better in Kragh Mentally so that means if you’re shit as depressed today in This moment that means what you’re looking for is a little improvement in the next moment And then a little improvement in the next moment, [and] then a little improvement in the next moment And then a little improvement in the next moment So thinking that you’re supposed to get all this discovery work recovery work done in one afternoon is ridiculous, and it’s going to make you feel worse, so My last piece [of] [advice] for anyone out there [who’s] dealing with a narcissist? [is] That you must be able to discern the way they communicate and in those cases They’re using the the worst emotional emotional tool. I believe in their shed which is [crazy-Making] Communication nothing makes sense [they’re] avoidant They deliberately withhold so you have a conversation with your husband And he doesn’t use the support and phrase that you can get to the next sentence so that you can actually connect conversation helps us connect to people and Connections make us feel bonded with people and that makes us feel like we’re [growing] in our relationships When you’re dealing with the narcissist they are they deliberately withhold those supportive statements so we might say wow you know I’m really tired and Your husband doesn’t even acknowledge that you said that That’s an emotional tactic. That’s a communication tactic. He’s withholding the supportive phrase You might say well, I wish you would have told me [that] you were coming home at clock and he goes hMM There’s no supportive phrase. There’s no, I should have called you. I’m sorry I didn’t call you or even you know I didn’t I didn’t know that you wanted me to call you or whatever I thought we discussed this yesterday something to keep the conversation going so Narcissists withhold they do not use supportive phrases to help conversations continue to grow and Expand They ignore you they deflect they also they also blame you and it’s very interesting they turn conversational physicians around so if you were to say to A narcissist something like you know um I hate when you flirt with women at cocktail parties They might say [something] like well if you weren’t so insecure that wouldn’t bother you that Is like such a crock of bullshit are you kidding me? [I] hear that so often from my clients, and I’ve heard that myself from my ex-husband like it’s my issue It’s my fault that I’m upset that you’re flirting with Cut width with every woman at this cocktail party [I’m] not Now now listen to listen to listen to the bullshit listen to the paradigm The paradigm that we were taught [or] I was taught as a child was what I think and feel doesn’t matter I can’t trust my perception what other people think is more important than what I think Worry about what other people [feel] [worried] about making people angry don’t come off seeming selfish don’t expect other people to listen to you all the Paradigms blow up in just that one interaction when he says to me if you aren’t so insecure that wouldn’t bother you they Everything gets ignited the template the old paradigm gets ignited [I] am right back to being three four five six seven years old Worrying about this what this person thinks doubting my reality and then I go to bed feeling so flipped up you know so effed up Because I’m wondering to have a right to be angry so Yes, dear one. I can’t stress it enough your feelings are everything Now I believe the agenda the mass agenda The Society’s Agenda or the Elites agenda is to make us worry about our feelings being I? Believe. I really do believe that that hours out it is conditioned into the society the idea that we should not trust what we feel why because When you trust with you feel fear when you trust what you feel? You are able to conquer The one mass tool that is used amongst all men and that’s fear when you trust what you feel and You state to your husband something like I have a right to be angry because my husband who? Promised [to] love and honor honor me and my feelings doesn’t I? Have a right to out of the fact that I’m upset And I’m angry because my husband has no respect for how I feel I have a right to be angry because my husband Embarrassed me in front of women that I have to deal with every [day] I have a right to be angry because my husband doesn’t seem to care about how I feel That is coming from a position of strength when you integrate I’m Integrated when I speak that way when you speak that way, you are integrating mind body and soul And there isn’t a there isn’t a soul on the face of this earth that [can] Intimidate you when you have finally learned to trust what you feel So when you trust what you feel you’re tapping into the etheral you’re tapping into the divine Matrix you’re tapping into creator because Everything that you need to feel to exist in this world and to create you create happy life experiences Everything that all the codes that you need to experience your happy life experiences will be found in the way that you feel that’s where your guidance comes from That’s where your guidance comes from that connects you to your divinity [to] your holy self to all that is So I hope I can go on forever about just this topic, but I’m into this for a half an hour already And I don’t want to you know go [over] the half hour so dear ones. I really the disinformation Encourages you please let me know give me a shout [out] at least a romano calm If you haven’t already I have made available an MP3 of a workshop that it that helps you learn how to construct boundaries Which is what you need and I encourage you to check [that] out at my website also I have MP3 lessons for sale that you can download on [your] [iphones] and for those of you Who are struggling with children who are waking up? who Understand that you have taught your children these negative lessons. You know all this stuff that I teach I speak in a way, I think And what [I’m] really hearing from you guys [is] I speak in a way It’s it’s easy to hear so I would say let your kids listen and ask them What are you hearing this lady, say like are you hearing what she’s saying and what message did you pick up did anything? Give you chills did anything resonate with you? Is there anything that you want to talk about? Do you want to send her an email to ask her a question that you have I am all about? Helping parents out there take accountability for themselves Love themselves unconditionally heal themselves come into the love and light for themselves and then to Transfer these new new Energies [onto] their own children so that we leave this world a better place when you heal you have a tremendous impact on the world at large dear one and That is our purpose even [if] you don’t have children When you get healed you help the world at large So dear ones it is my pleasure to come into your hearts to your homes today Namaste

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Comments

  1. basically everything i observed and came to the conclusion of ….i was correct….you are point on about exactly how i feel ……i just felt so scattered with my thoughts and u helped me organize and break things apart that i was already feeling….thank you…..best part also is that u covered the spiritual part of all this and that as well crossed my mind a lot….. Nice to see a life coach that is intune with the spiritual world as well as material because it resonates so beautifully to the way i defined everything as well when dealing with a narcissist……
    Thank You so much for taking time out to make this video .

  2. I think what is said about "conversational narcissist " is usually more to do with developement of person.
    Even it can be seen with narciccist too.

    At least with men, women may hit road running what comes to communicational scills.

    Its also natural for people to say something that they them self have done when someone speak about something theyve done.
    depending how serious this thing is. If there is happened something that otherone is upset then they need more care and attention and empathy.

    Answering from their own point of view Its what children do and when someone is stuck in developement of character like many adults are. then they are still in that phase lets say 6year old life in some part even they are othervice developed.
    its just that they dont yet have scills to consider other but its coming when they grow.

    If people feel bad they are circling around them self and cant focuse to others.
    Drug using is slowing developement and all kind of abuse, if there is serious abuse they can be there in someway stuck all their life. ( as narcicicst are )
    If there is not have been adult in their life who had these tools so they could pass them to them and love and presense, they dont have tools to articulate to know how express how they self feel and not take in to consideration so much others.

    Men more need to be taught on these things.
    women are generally more agreeable and emonational caring.
    men disagreeable and competing and reasoning.
    men compete in conversation and feel ok if someone says what they have done, as they dont go in to conversation to be hugged, feelings to be understud so much dont need affirmation they want to just show how good they are and if someone says somethig else its up theirs.( over emphasizing )

    But then there is that if they dont have normal response and not notice at all and even when other is hurt then you can see its different story and they can be narciccist.

    5 different aspects here

  3. Wow. How enlightening….I am an empath and codependent…my daughter is codependent….she married a narcissist the first time. She still has to deal with him, as they have a child. I have been listening to you, so that I can help her deal with him. I have no contact with him, because he almost made me have a nervous breakdown. Well I realized today that I am a narcissistic conversationalist. Wow.

  4. Great video Lisa! Essentially this is a spiritual matter. They are evil people regardless of how they appear to be on the surface. Do you realize what you're describing are the exact characteristics of the Devil. What I've come to realize is that Narcissists, although they are human, they have essentially lost their soul to spiritual darkness Their soul has been stolen. It is a form of demon possession. I know this for a fact. Anyone attempting to have a "relationship" with a narcissist is 100% identical to trying to have a "relationship" with the Devil. Not only are they VOID of human feelings, compassion, or empathy, they don't like people and the PROOF of this is they NEVER EVER have anything positive to say about anyone, only CRITICISMS; 100% identical to the Devil. The only solution to dealing with a narcissist is have NO CONTACT WITH THEM EVER and also don't attempt to "rationalize" or "resolve" anything they say or do. As soon as a person enters into thinking of ways to level with a Narcissist, they are embarking on being controlled, drained, and manipulated by the narcissist. Simply don't do it.They are spiritual hijackers and robbers, again, just like the Devil. Totally FORGET about them and move along with life REGARDLESS OF WHO THEY ARE!!!

  5. I like the way you explained it about their behavior and about the way they talk dealt with a narcissist for 3-month- relationship I'm no contact now for 30 days

  6. Thank you SO much for doing these videos. I stumbled across your channel this morning, as I was looking for ways to deal with a narcissistic person who I thought was a friend. This person did something REALLY terrible to me, and when I found out it was her, I stopped all communication with her abruptly (this was about a month ago when I found out). She went to a mutual friend of ours, asking why I was ignoring her. Our mutual friend told her that I had found out what she did. Evidently she started crying to our mutual friend, saying "I knew I should never have done that!" followed by how worried she is that her boyfriend will find out what she did, and then finally said "I could always just deny it". And that is EXACTLY what she did. She contacted me via a private message on social media and denied everything. I just can't wrap my head around how these people have zero empathy! No real remorse, no apologies, nothing. Just complete denial of any wrongdoing, as though you're the crazy person and they're totally zen. I'm so thankful that you've made a video series on how to deal with these people. I wish you all the best in 2018! <3

  7. Thank You sooooo much!!!! The best information on not feeling valued, not feeling like one exists or has been heard in communicating with a narcissist. This is breaking the spell and the trance. Communicating with ex was like going down a rabbit hole, trying to follow his responses, which were crazy making. There was no communicating. I would often think as if I don't exist or I do not have any good qualities or have anything going for myself..this is the spell breaker. Makes me realize and wake up to how dangerous these individuals are and how cunning the manouvers. I remember at the end of relationship if you can call it that I thought this was a make believe relationship and I was in it alone. He set up the stage and once he know he had me he started going out the back door. The next in undoing is my thinking that it would have been a real relationship or a better one if I would have been a different person..and he'll be in relationship long-term with another woman..and because of who she is and will be….insidious seeds!!! One has to pay close attention to what the ego is saying…and what plays subtlely in the unconscious.. just caught myself. That is what I think if I would be a different person it would have been a different relationship. So it's somehow because of who and how I was and am. Bought into the blameshifting… wow. The videos are most helpful…Thank You so much Lisa!!!!! Looking forward to more education here and more spell breaker videos…

  8. There is No Better Example of an every day simple question response as the one I just heard about home arrival time. Ridiculous.

  9. I never new what my mum was from a very young age I just couldn’t put my finger on it even my youngest brother couldn’t figure it out he just come to a conclusion that mum and i dont get on its not true my mum has a name she even ensure that she turns my brother against me changing And lying about almost every account that’s accursed

  10. Jesus said…"Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast ye your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet and turn and rend you."  Matthew 7:6   Jesus was very wise and He said these words for our safety and mental and spiritual health.    It's when we disregard the words of wisdom we get ourselves into deep messes.   And then WE are the ones who seek mental counseling, instead of the ones who really need it.    But always remember, the narcissist is who he is and there is no changing him…EVER.       For BIG TRUTH!   kristi

  11. Great Video — Most Narcissists are really Diabolical Narcissistic "intraspecies predators" and often psychopaths — they do not care about humans and usually hate them.

  12. Some sophisticated narcissist are a lot more subtle in their destructive behaviour than described here. For instance they can and do go out of their way to make you feel liked respected and cared for then…… god help you!!!!!

  13. I have a question: Can someone become or feel as though they are a narcissist after narcissistic abuse? I was in an emotionally abusive relationship 3 years ago and since then I've always had that voice in my head turning every act of kindness and activity I try to engage in, it's portrayed as "you're doing that just to serve yourself. " or "you're just trying to conceal your narcissism". I'm honestly confused and fearful of my true being to the point where I keep forgetting who I am and wonder if I've ever known. I feel like I might be a narcissist but I'm not sure. I don't know what to think or be confident in. I would really like to hear some insight. Thank you.

  14. I'LL back YOU, on your "HUMAN" comment. I'm in a Narcissistic relationship and as an EMPATH..I FEEL like I'm going thru HELL!..YOU DEFINITELY hit the TARGET!..I HAVE to get OUT! HE told ME that HE feels NO EMPATHY. AND LOVES to give people BAD/DISAPPOINTING news. I was a PEACEFUL person but slowly becoming a person. . who has been shredded to PIECES. He told me that we would NEVER get MARRIED bc of MY trust issues. When I mention HIS "flirting" with other women. OMGOSH! You must know him! ..😉..EXCELLENT INFORMATION..YOU are SPOT ON!
    THANK YOU!

  15. You are right I went from a person who could take care of my self to not. I wish all the therapy that I went to, they would try and teach me how to deal with my husband. I was honest with the therapist. No one said he won’t or can change you just need to leave or live this way and it will only get worse. Work on figuring out how to take care of you children and you self. And get the heck out. Or it will be 46 years latter and you will be very sad how you have raised your children and how you have lived. Thank you 🙏 wish I had known about this a long long time ago.

  16. I was only very recently introduced to Lisa's teachings and I have to say that they are really triggering a lot of past trauma. I recognize narc behaviors in myself that I need to work on and I recognize narc behaviors used to wound me and steal my energy. Thank you, Lisa for this information.

  17. Wow!!! No joke the most unhealthy crazy making conversations you will ever have with anyone. Insanity! They are more like demons which is why they do not seem human like the rest of us.

  18. When you said the word yawn, I yawned. Lol. I want to think that I am self contained now. I am stuck . But it’s a constant effort to acknowledge what I need to do for myself. Thank you for your light

  19. Mine x narc would ask personal ?s and was so concern about how hurt I was. Waited 2 years and repeated every action. Sit in front of me texting say'in these females won't leave me alone. Really ! If a person text me chattin about getting a hookup,I drop an block.Plus you had to lead them on to even have that happen.

  20. yes oh my God yr right!!I went through this for 5 an half years..You are so right..I finally learned to just say yeah bc he loved to make me mad.And then he would just smile and enjoy the ride..

  21. I wish i had found your channel 4 yrs ago before leaving my narcissistic husband 4 yrs ago you could have helped me so much to cope with what i was going through.

  22. Energy body. Lmao 😂 you are a true Narcissist lady. Your getting your validation from this video. Lemme guess, your a feminist and divorced. How much alimony and child support are you stealing from him?

  23. Why is it that narcs don't necessarily have to explain themselves yet the other person does? (I.e. Not making it home by 5pm from work)

  24. This should be taught in Junior high school and high school so children will not get involved in abusive relationships.

  25. I was crying watching your video. Full of truth, honesty, caring. Since I started my healing, I feel like a bird caught in a warm and gentle wind that will bring me wherever I want in life. Freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Thx again.
    I sent you some genuine, unconditional love in the air. Hope you will receive it LOL 🙂 Have a wonderful day.

  26. I'm still playing victim smh I'm trying to find ways to work on my ego because I think that is what keeps me playing the victim

  27. I remember 'Him' sucking the energy out of the room, just being around him was draining ..even if nothing much was said. Im so glad he has been ''ousted' from our lives. We are so much happier, there is joy and abundance once again/

  28. or as an empath, you learn to "shield" yourself. exploring alternative religions allowed me to learn to shield myself so , there isn't overflow from others clouding me & how i do things. 😀

  29. Does the narcissist want to slowly kill you completely or just keep you in a paniced state of no rest that you can't think? I asked him if he could bring us a sandwich this morning when he picked up his check and he lost his mind and told me all I cared about was his money! He's lived off me 8 years and told me when he went back to work after months for 2 days this week, he said thank you for looking out for us I'll give you some money back on Friday. I didn't ask for money and had no plan to! It morphed from that to him coming back and leaning over me screaming I don't love him and love making him angry! I tried giving no audience and cowering further after very little sleep stayed in the back room of the house and he came back again and said I'm going to just kill myself so you will finally be happy! I'm losing it! I know this is all my fault but I can't think let alone plan…red zone day.

  30. Hi, Lisa…it has been a while since I have been with you!! Your video resonated with me to the TEE! Geese we are sick of conversations like that! AND Yes, we can judge others.and harshly from the programming! We were taught! We do not like ourselves that way! THANK YOU for the tools! But, Lisa! I would not ever stay with a relationship like that again! THAT'S IT! I'm done! No letters or emails! THEY are INHUMAN!!! P.S. We are not insecure at the cocktail party! They are!! THEY have to feed their fragile egos IN FRONT of us and to disrespect and disregard US and get away with it! (more supply) by flirting with every woman there TO FEED THEIR INSECURITY!. So, when they turn it and say it is us? Projection! Projection!! Projection!!

  31. Psychic Vampirism….They meet you when your full and radiating…
    and leave the feeding ground when your nauseous, weak…and drained…let you charge up..then swing back to feed off of you again…"My view….Sharks have been around forever…everybody is diving in shark-infested waters…you spot a big couple sharks coming off the reef to check you out…see if you are an easy meal..bump it in the nose…comes again hit it with a club to the nose….looses interest and swims off for an easier meal..You did not kill or harm the shark..yet you removed the risk..koodo's."…so preempted action is prioritized…"Don't fall in love with a shark" ; )…

  32. Lisa. Thanks for the video. I have been dealing with a narcissist wife and her narcissist family. This is how I felt about them before I saw this video but this information will help me to deal with these animals.

  33. To make positive impact to our society by lifting good people up in helping, not wasting time to those "impossible to save" people who would interpret negative perspectives anyway, therefore your empowerment to toxic people only strengthen them the wrong way. We all have limited resource (time, wisdom, $$$), so choose to help those good people for them to pay it forward. When you help bad/wicked/evil people, you are empowering the negative impact of our society. Self-revelation, self-reflection daily are very important to soul progression before you "complain" others from your "polluted" perspective. I found others complain their moms….etc as energy vampires which are against natural Laws and God's given family Love purpose. I do agree lots of people's roots, conscience could be "messed up" by EMF; even consciousness could be replaced or manipulated, but the root cause are all due to " lack of true love". Western cultures encourage "self-love" which equals "selfishness" to bring you down to the underworld entrapment. Each/Every good deeds, positive impact , thoughts will balance your negative karma and gain good heavenly/celestial credit. Keep doing good by helping others with your resources is "best way of soul journey success".

  34. Now after not knowing about narcissistic personality disorder and finding out , shook my world . It was like you were talking about my life with him . I talked to the poor woman who has been snowballed by this lying cheating husband . The other woman . All about how he never brought anyone home to meet me or took me out to meet them .secret lying life . Oh I'm so happy that I texted and talked to her . All the disgusting things he made people think I was , and the horrible things he did to me .all the things he said I did and was , he was talking about himself .Things I have been threw is going to be over . You know that saying , grin and bare it , I have for 36 yrs , I feel at peace and I hold no animosity towards her . She is a victim like me , so I got out and said how I am as a person and that everything he does and said was a lie . I think she believed me , and I said to her it's ok , I'm not the monster and I don't hate her or anyone .I k now he is not capable of loving anyone then I explained . It's not her fault , he is a minipulive suducer with a sick perverted sex addic, who only cares about getting that supply . When things don't go his way , look out
    I told her that she can show him everything I wrote . I did not fib at all ,and I was calm and did not exaggerate . 100percent the truth. I feel sorry for her , another victim . I will be so happy when he is gone so I can start a new life . I told nothing is holding him here , he pays for nothing and I would rather have nothing like I do now . I SAID, please your more than welcomed to take his cloths now . I don't care . He tried to distroy me but I found out I was way stronger than that. Who wants a cheating ,cruel, critical, luring husband that can't feel anything .

  35. I have recently in the past few months discovered the actual meaning of the word NARCISSIST. I am in a daily struggle. Every single morning this man wakes up in a RAGE. Doesn't matter the mood he fell asleep in. He is in a RAGE. He has brought me up to 3 anxiety attacks a week now. My pets and I are here, for lack of better words, we're abused by our last roommate to the point of a TRO which turned into a PRO. We then had to move out within 7 days, I was desperate. I AM IN MY "AH-HA" MOMENT STILL. Every relationship I have had was this. Ugh, I feel so stupid and blind. He's extremely verbally abusive. His RAGE in the morning sets my tone with him for the day. And he comes in just the way he left. It's fuckin sad. I cry for my family and friends. I'm very happy to have found your channel. I am looking forward to coming out of this darkness with these lessons. Bless us all.

  36. Great info, you must have been raised catholic! I agree the narcissist is not human!!! Maybe they are reptiles! Thank you so much for sharing!
    My nickname for the “N” in my life is NASA, NEVER A Straight Answer! I have to say the few times I have successfully reflected his behavior back at him, he was fuming, and the vampire analogy is perfect and I have a physical example of “their” life draining tendencies! It was shocking to see it, I have a couple of profusely blooming rose bushes that stopped blooming immediately after he touched them, meaning he pruned them. I usually do that myself, it’s a labor of love, but I was ill. When I care for them they bloom so profusely,, I have several large bouquets and the bushes still have flowers, this is every week! It’s hard to keep up they bloom so much! It was shocking to see in the natural what these energy vampires do to the life force! They actually physically drain what ever pure and innocent energy they touch! It was undeniable. Great video Ms Lisa Romano! Sending you love and gratitude!

  37. I'm a codependent as a result ofCPTSD and I have a friend who invites rich people who she claims are lonely and alone but has never invited me to Christmas dinner. I recently noticed she attracts passive and other codependent people .Light bulb moment. She is a narcissist who is a rich wanna be or control others.

  38. What to do when my father, dr.dent.med. is a criminal and a narcissist or sociopath who treatens me after a confronting him…-if i tell anyone whats going on that he will kill me…-and has 2 hidden guns and a silencer?
    And it has come to a point where I have no job or no one beside,social life,money or anything?!-just a ex girlfriend who saw him with no "mask on"…-and she run away far….
    BTW
    -for now,only my therapist knows…
    -WHAT SHOULD I DO????
    -should I trick him and bring on the police and court or what????
    -I'm totally exausted….

  39. Yes iindeed..i had a neurologist says I was the most real human he had ever met in 20 years of practice.. he said wow it's so refreshing but scarey.. he was scared of my Empath abilities.

  40. Yes now I check myself not to shift the story away from their story.. it is so important we don't end up like narc mom.. in my case.. my ex narc husband.. destroyed me..almost killed me, super energy vampire.

  41. They are worse than everyone. The are predators that are always on hunt for prey to feed themselves .. Animals in the jungle..

  42. Thank you so much for all of the videos that you put out. They really help me a lot cuz I'm Container Store husband. He has cheated on me a couple of times in the past it just yesterday I found, on some of his Instagram on post where he actually said to several different women, " you could be mine" with hearts next to it. When I confronted him about it of course he was really nonchalant and laughed and said, yeah? And what's the big deal with that? That line is from a Bon Jovi song and it doesn't mean anything. He's trying to twist it and just saying that I'm making a big deal out of something that I shouldn't and I told him that I don't think of Eric Mangini making comments like that another when posts. And he disagrees with me. Am I wrong or am I making a big deal out of this?

  43. Thank you for this video! I just realized even more even benign 'conversations' with my N.P.D. dad where he is just babbling on and gets mad if I go into the adjoining kitchen to do stuff while he talks – even the benign conversations with him are for his 'majesty's pleasure'…. nothing is because he wants to talk with you. He's just talking because he needs to talk to someone and drain them. I am forced to live with because of being disabled with C.F.S….but trying to protect myself more and work on me. Videos like these help me just view him like 'The Borg' on 'Star Trek: The Next Generation. They just come to destroy you without emotion. I've often thought it would've been neat to have a body cam or cams and mic's around the house to record my N.P.D. mom (before she died) and my N.P.D. dad to prove what they say and how they act. It's amazing how people don't these people exist. WHO WOULD MAKE THIS STUFF UP??? I'm working on getting strengthened and staying away from him as much as possible in the house to protect my energy. Thanks for mentioning the energy drop – he does that. No wonder I have CFS. But there's always hope for me. I'm happy to say I've given up on him completely. I pour no emotional energy or hope into anything about him and his words mean nothing to me.

  44. I get what your are saying about the narcissist not being human; however, it is part of the human experience– like any other ailment. You can understand and prevent a shark from biting you by staying out of shark infested water (your defense methods); you can avoid the shark. Nontheless, the shark is a part of the universe… Is the shark bad or evil– no, it just is what the universe does, it makes sharks– narcissist– aka sick people. My two cents. Much love for your vid. Your identification of the number one manipulative method and a way to deal with it will help viewers survive narcissistic abuse. Also, the empath cannot exist without the narcissist as light is only light because of the darkness. Yin yang. To be clear, an empath can live without narcissist; however, the universe needs opposites for each thing to be a thing. Oh, and one more thing. As a defense tool, I have found injecting humor into the goings on of a narcissist– getting them to laugh– makes things more sustainable. It seems to get them present I suppose, and for just a second less wrapped up in their flow of latent manipulation.

  45. Does a Covert Narcissist mirror our emotions? My mom passed away about 3 yrs ago. My husband rarely had communication with her nor saw her due to she lived in another state. I took care of her at her home during her last 2 months of life. This left me with PTSD, depression, etc. I haven't shared the details with him I endured during that time. My husband told people he has PTSD and is greiving my mom passing. The words I told him how I felt. He tells people they were close and she was like a mother to him. With me there he tells people about how great my mom was and how her death affects him. It is always about him. In the beginning he told me that after a few months I should get over my grief. Then later he tells me I will never get over it and it will be with me the rest of my life. Oh, he constantly tells me, he is suffering too…its not just me. In otherwords, he negates my grief for my mom and makes it about his feelings. Remember i don't tell him Im sad, nor have I cried over her death because he voided my feelings…I just lost my joy. He points out I look sad all the time. Heck, if I smiled he would get upset and interrogate why I was happy. Everything out of his mouth is always about him.

    Now get this, he had to go get counceling because of my mothers death…i guess i didnt feel sorry for him so he had to get it from a doctor. He now tells me I am sick and need counceling. Yeah since I moved out to have time to myself to have some me time. He would call to tell me he lost weight and is sick because i left. When i come back he will be better….he gets a lot of sympathy from others and loves the attention the doctors are giving him. I checked the fridge…it is packed with meals. Yes, for 38 years of marriage I have been walking on eggshells to not upset him, he can not handle stress, self centered, and i have been an emotional punching bag. He has manipulated me saying he is in too much pain to do all the yard work, all house maintence, etc so i do it in addition to taking care of the kids, house work etc. If I ever asked him to help even with the kids he would get upset…to the point it wasn't worth asking. So because what he does over my moms death, is he a covert Narcissist?

  46. Thank you for taking time to speak on this subject. This video helped me so much. I have bee dealing with a narcissistic child for over 40 years. You have given me some strength to live with the situation.

  47. i love everything you say about life. i relate so much. i still havent figured out how to take care of me first. i share things or feelings expecting others to make me feel better or to just care and i leave the conversation feeling even worse. even small things like recycling.. the more i see in the world.. the more i realize im alone here?? the anger is taking me over. i sit and argue w these people in my head which takes my time and my spirit. negative energy. so i tell myself to never share anything which also hurts. there have been so many times that i see a picture or hear a story and i sit and cry.. im strangely attracted to reading about pain. to past events. i alot of times regret reading the sad story because i get so upset. and i share and others act like im wasting their time or will say ya! lots of bad stuff happened or just basically avoid even hearing or reading the story all together.. but iv always always been this way. not my fault. and i feel i am a fighter but only for what or who is mistreating defensless innocent.. so once again i fill w anger at the world. believe that is why my child is special needs. and i pray i am strong enough to be the advocate he needs to be his rock and rise above my depression and anxiety dissorders and the narcissists surrounding me.. break free somehow for my beautiful misunderstood nonverbal austistic empath son.. i knowhere is a reason he is my child. to make me strong since i have always been to insecure and worried about others to fight for myself..
    …from the ashes

  48. I made so many mistakes. Thank you for the help u give. I love you and bless you Lisa. Ive learned so much from you over the past year. In graditide i send you blessings of love and light. I found myself. Its been a long dark road. But i found the light n continue to grow. Xoxo,
    Aries

  49. How do I deal with a narcissist that I have a baby with who I just broke up but not married to. Should I seek legal help?

  50. Thank you so much! I remember when I finally emailed the narcissist that he wasn't emotionally invested in me and that I needed friends in my life who were invested, the opening response I got was that he thought that was the bipolar talking (I do have such a diagnosis), the implementation being that I was crazy for thinking he wasn't emotionally invested, making it about me being at fault instead of him. Thank you for helping me see I am NOT crazy or irrational.

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