Psychosis, Schizophrenia, Recovery, Well-being & Living Leadership | State Of Mind Podcast


hello my name is Mike Stroh and we are
live at Radio Regent Park with the State of Mind podcast where we create
conversations about mental health that change lives and we try to bring you the
stories underneath the slogans and today we have a very special guest named
Jessie Bigelow some Jessie just chillin dude and he is a pioneer / leader /
legend / general swell guy in the peer passport world here consumer-survivor
world and I’m blessed that he’s here and tell us a little bit about yourself
please sure thanks a lot Mike happy to be here yeah I’m basically here
to talk about what I’ve been through I’m going to say a little bit about where I
came from then talk a little bit about my experiences at the end of high school
which I ended up being psychosis and addiction and then maybe talk a little
bit about where I went from there and where I’m at now I had a pretty good
childhood growing up I had two loving parents and sister we had a pretty good
unit we were pretty close I got in a lot of fights with my sister but I really
put her on a pedestal um you know she would do something or or
choose to eat something and I would have to do the same thing as her and then as
a child you know my dad was really great about getting me in the sports educating
me about many different sports my favorite sport of all time is hockey big
Leafs fan super stoked about this season great yeah and yeah so yeah my dad got
me into hockey and got me into baseball and soccer and football in high school
and I got in a little trouble in the neighborhood playing basketball with
some of the boys I won’t i won’t i won’t mention okay
it’s okay i won’t mention names but you know who you are back in the day played
basketball dude but yeah i so and the other thing like that was really good
about was he um he he would try anything you know he was a very great great
rigorous like myself i mean you know i know where i got myself from was
definitely from my dad but he would try new things you know especially like food
he was always he was very cosmopolitan ER or multicultural in getting me to try
new foods like you know when I was growing up you know what wouldn’t be
strange for him to bring home or like a falafel or like a souvlaki or you know
different ethnic foods so you know when I was growing up you know my my my dad
and I would go off to play sports or he would bring me to play sports and my mom
and my sister would go off riding my my sister’s Big Love was riding horses
dressage John Hunter jumper she was the hack which is like basically riding
horses on off-road terrain you know we weren’t rich but you know my dad worked
as a Monday to Friday 9:00 to 5:00 always in a suit shaving every day and
my mom was also working and you know girl
it was it was it was a pretty good life in school I did fairly well um you know
elementary school I passed you know I wasn’t much of a skin and like scholarly
or anything in in elementary or junior higher high school but I did okay I you
know I was kind of average in my marks and up until probably about grade 11
you know you know and what I didn’t experience anxiety or or depression or
anything at a young age like a lot of like a like some of the people I grew up
with well I didn’t find mental health issues
and a little later so in grade a so grade 9 and 10 which I had good marks
everything was great and then grade 11 I started to do a lot of street drugs so I
mean it started with alcohol and then quickly moved into marijuana and hashish
and and then it moved into acid magic mushrooms cocaine ecstasy speed so I was
doing a lot of street drugs and that was kind of partially hanging with the jocks
cuz I played sports and partially hanging with you know the druggies the
junkies yeah druggies junkies yeah depending on which drug I mean I guess
you could use either term yeah I was spending you know half the time with the
jocks and half the time with the artists and musicians that might be a better way
to put like those people who were using okay and so you know I was bouncing
around here and there and it was fun for a while you know what I mean I remember
those days where smoking weed was just you know so much fun and I smoked so
much of it and it seems that we change who we are depending on what type
of people we’re hanging out with yes so I think a lot of people that end up you
know using a lot of drugs are having a difficult time with their I don’t know
maybe identity or just trying to figure out who they are which is a common
challenge for young people we end up almost being like a chameleon so to
speak so if if we’re hanging out with the jocks that type of our personality
comes out if we’re hanging out with the artsy type that part of a personality
comes out for hanging out with the tough guys or the bat you know whatever then
that comes out and so we we don’t develop a sense of who we are because
we’re always trying to mirror or fit in with as many people as we can so my like
that yeah no I hear you totally and I think you’re right you’re
totally right but it is a skill in a way because in a healthy relationship like
in healthy relationships you you it is skill to be able to accept people
wherever they’re at right and that’s a big problem about bullying is you know
people are seeing like young people are seen as being overly sensitive or or
weak because they are experiencing mental health and addictions issues and
they get picked on you know which is it’s a sad thing when I was growing up I
got picked on I was bullied and unfortunately it drove me to become a
boolean and and you know repeat the behaviors so just getting back to him
you know weren’t where I was at yeah so I using lots of Street Times yeah
yeah so so great 11:00 and then a couple years went by and I was just you know
spending my life in the ravine you know by my high school smoking and doing the
house parties and acting the fool so uh and you know
getting into a little bit of trouble along the way and so around the end of
high school so I barely graduated high school I got my high school diploma at
Jarvis was that in grade 13 but as an addition or was it great $14 it was my
high school diploma so I I took a couple of OSC courses mm-hmm right and I just
crashed and burned so I basically settled up settled for a
high school diploma got it so in grade 10 Spanish at night school
at Jarvis I barely passed I got a 52% and I think my teacher gave it to me
because she felt sorry for me right mm-hmm
so so I got my high school diploma I never looked back I didn’t go to any
college or university or anything like that what what were your parents what
was your relationship with your parents through all this because I assumed since
both your parents are quote unquote your mom’s a lawyer and she was she was right
so they’re professionals and I assumed they wanted yes so my mom was a lawyer
and my dad was an architect so but they want you well-educated people yeah
did they pressure you to go to university or were they doing any that
kind of stuff how was that yeah yeah I mean they wanted me to go to
post-secondary but by that time I was so messed up they would be happy for me to
just you know be well you know what I’m saying and contribute to society in any
way so at the end of high school around 19 I’ll talk about like the hardest time
in my life sure so I started to hear voices and
experience religious delusions and and visual visual and auditory
hallucinations so one of the first things I experienced was paranoia so I
was in the school yard and there’d be a group of students over here talking and
laughing and I thought they were laughing at me right so a slight
paranoia but then my own this spiral then does something a lot worse where I
started to hear voices and the best way I can explain what it’s like to hear
voices is when we’re thinking our regular thought process yeah right we
hear our own voice so I have that regular thought process but on top of
that I would hear voices within my mind so and that were not the same sound as
your own correct right yeah so I would hear voices on top of my own voice in my
mind coming from within my mind not outside of my mind and it would be a
male voice that I believe was the devil and a female voice that I believe was a
Virgin Mary so I started to hear these voices in my mind all day every day now
where are you getting high during that time too or no no actually there was a
time where I got clean from all of the drugs or I should say I got sober wasn’t
even drinking alcohol drinking lots of water not even drinking caffeine eating
properly exercising doing everything right yep walking through the park
system all day right so that had all been put in the past
at the time right so it was interesting that this came on when I wasn’t in a
state of psychos like what I wasn’t using right right it’s very interesting
and so I was hearing these voices and so they were happy they were happening all
day long right and I first would reply in my mind in a talking tongue then I
replied out loud in the talking toe and then I would yell back at the voices so
you see everybody or you’ve seen folks on the street yelling at nothing that’s
what they’re you like yelling at their internal stimuli their auditory
hallucinations their voices right yeah that’s what’s happening there so and
then you know I would also hear other people’s thoughts in my mind and I
believed that it was the devil taking their thoughts and putting them in my
mind all right right so an example of that would be I would be taking the TTC
which I call the totally totally crappy yeah right I’d be taking the TTC and
there’d be a car full of people and I could hear all of their thoughts in my
mind all at the same time and were they in different sounds they were in
different voices yeah voices that I’d never heard before my brain somehow
created these voices because obviously I wasn’t actually hearing their thoughts
right that’s a but that’s the healthy explanation or the healthy stance is
that it couldn’t be happening it must have been from my schizophrenia right
but at that time I believe with all my heart that I was listening to
everybody’s voices right yeah I think I just want to say something that’s quite
difficult for people to grasp around somebody in that situation is that to
them it’s 100% real and to everybody else especially those who aren’t
familiar or having sort of experienced somebody going through that it’s so hard
to understand how that can be real for somebody else and because they can’t do
that then the empathy goes away and the compassion and all those things sort of
disappear and then it gets into problematic relationships and then
that’s where a lot of the pain and the suffering goes on and I think even in
less hard to believe situations people in general aren’t great at acknowledging
somebody else’s reality but and so I yeah yeah it totally and to build on
that like um you know this to a healthy mind right is totally illogical doesn’t
make sense you can’t even fathom what it’s like if you haven’t been there
yourself right so I love work in the mental health field we’ll talk about
that a little later on the podcast but I’ve learned and people in mental health
like people who work in mental health generally learn that if somebody is
experiencing something like this you don’t want to shut the door with the
rapport and relationship by saying straight out like you know doc can’t you
realize that this is illogical you don’t want to do that right but you don’t want
to go along with it fully either and entertain them and take them down that
road so you got a sort of intervene and say listen I understand how real this is
for you right is there any way I can support you
what can we do how can we move forward how can I help you work through this and
deal with this in a healthy way right none I’m saying yeah nice
so I’m hearing these voices coming at me from everywhere right and you know a lot
of people with psychosis will say they hear like a radio dial being turned like
they’re hearing all these like somebody speeding through the radio in their mind
that’s very common yeah I don’t experience that myself and a lot of
other people will hear whispers of voices here and there you know what I
mean not so for me really sometimes I hear
the Virgin Mary softly saying something and I’m like I feel so blessed that I
have the Virgin Mary as well as the DOE but in this situation when I was in the
street it when it was in the totally totally crappy the scariest thing ever
happened to me live one of the scariest things I’ve ever been through is I heard
a voice saying in my mind kill all of these people and then kill yourself yeah
which was so scary at the time I would never follow up on it because I’m loving
and caring I’m positive so I wouldn’t do anything like that
but I heard that and I understand to a certain degree those young people out
there with mental health issues shooting people yeah and you know losing it and
stabbing someone or whatever you know these these experiences are few and far
between for people with my illness right right most of these people will hurt
themselves before they’re ever gonna hurt anybody else right and they’re also
more likely to be victims oh yeah violence yeah I I think that it would be
helpful if we expanded that a little bit because I see all the time whenever well
there was the Danforth shooting when and so then the news reports were this
person was living with mental illness or whatever and then which I always think
if you’re at the point where you’re willing to kill somebody you have mental
health problems no doubt about it and then there’s the other
side of the picture where I guess some of the advocacy is don’t paint people
with mental illness as violent which is also true so there’s this weird paradox
there where on one side they’re saying you know these mass murders or whatever
it is are have mental illness and then the other side saying well no you can’t
don’t paint everyone who has mental illness quote-unquote as being violent
which is also true but there’s somewhere in the middle that’s not getting
acknowledged where it’s a lot of these heinous acts so to speak are you know
the people are not well so I don’t know how to have a manage that or bridge that
that situation but can you share your thoughts yeah for sure like so the media
is a very strong tool of strong device to educate people and sway people in
different ways yeah right that’s how we we receive
information and how we have an understanding of the world now in the
media it’s people with schizophrenia or psychosis or people who are unstable or
vulnerable people get portrayed in a negative light in you know there was a
shooting for instance yeah how often do you see people with schizophrenia in the
media of being shown in a positive light right yeah so and how it all it’s all
about communication United mean it’s all about communication and it’s about I
don’t want to toot my own horn when it’s about people coming forth that have the
illness and educating the public educating families educating you know
people of any different background about what it’s really like to have mental
health and addictions issues and to show people that you can contribute in a
healthy way back to to to society you can be
a positive pillar in the community right right you know just because you have a
diagnosis doesn’t mean you’re destined to you know end up shooting somebody
right in later in your life you know what I mean and the other thing I wanted
to mention too is that in terms of suicide and in terms of experiencing
some of the stuff I’ve talked about don’t be shy to communicate this to
somebody you trust because there’s always gonna be somebody out there that
can support you right and I’m seeing way more initiatives now anti-bullying
initiatives in in high schools and and in then for students of all different
ages where people are being supported people are coming forth and sharing what
they’ve been through and getting the right support I mean you’re doing great
work in the in the in the school system right educating people about mental
health and you know rather than isolating young people going through
this stuff bringing them in and and having conversations and and supporting
them right so yeah yeah you were talking about being on the subway as you sort of
your symptoms were increasing I guess yeah and then yeah so with all this
happening I mean at the time I had long hair I had a long beard I was neglecting
my hygiene I was marching up and down the streets preaching join the rich
businessmen or join the join the rich businessman or join Jesus yeah and I somehow had a girlfriend uh-huh at the
time really really nice young lady and choose Portuguese Catholic and she
brought me back to her parents apartment and their
religious figurines and and signs and and movies and stuff like Christian
based Catholic based yeah and I think she was praying for me the whole time
and I saw a picture of Jesus Christ on the wall I said wow I look like Jesus
Christ yeah except the picture of Jesus Christ had brown eyes and I had blue
eyes that’s the only difference I could see so I you know at that time I thought
I looked like Jesus Christ you know just a coincidence but a little
later on I believed I was Jesus Christ right yeah and I got a job at the
Dominion that’s how long ago was it the Damier wasn’t much oh yeah pre Metro
okay and I got a job at the Dominion stocking shelves right so I believe that
as I was touching cans and putting them on the shelf I was blessing them right
but then after Alison hmm I can’t bless all of these cans so I thought that if I
touched a can a second time I’m unblessed it right so it took me the
whole night to stock that one shelf and they fired me that night can you believe
it they fired Jesus Christ so the girlfriend serving their half of
that and so so we ended up splitting right you know unfortunately yeah more
after yeah we got myself okay so if you’re with us before you just heard
about Metro for Dominion firing Jesus Christ which will weigh on their
conscience and I think it’s so super cool that like you can finish my phrases
the other Bay bistro already giving me big ups for including that story like
sounded that one’s for Davey Boy amazing yeah just kind of funny how we get
familiar with each other’s situations okay so Dominion you’re done that
Dominion yeah so picture this long hair long beard smell like poo and just
roaming the streets you know not going anywhere not doing anything so I was I
was sick for straight every day probably a couple of years yeah and I wasn’t
using anymore so like it wasn’t fueled by drugs at that point right so yeah
sorry excuse me so what had to happen was the
hospitalization I ended up in hospital in km/h right and you didn’t check
yourself in is all right no no so you know with all this happening the voices
the other the weird behavior you know thinking I was a prophet Jesus Christ
all of this I mean when when you experience this stuff it’s all in your
mind obviously right yeah so you can kind of keep a good game face and people
don’t know what you’re going through but when you get really ill and you’re
yelling back at voices and you’re you know you look like you’re shabby
tena mmm Street person you know person who’s homeless yeah you know one yeah
once you’ve hit that state you know people realize that you have to get help
you know and I didn’t want to because I thought it was a prophet you know and I
didn’t believe I had a mental health issue so my dad and a friend of his come
by the house and you sat with me for about a half hour and he said yeah he’s
most likely God something like schizophrenia he’s experiencing
psychosis sorry her dad’s friend wasn’t oh yeah he was an MD yeah
by the way yeah so psychosis if you’re not familiar is a break from reality
where you’re experiencing something apart from the reality of everybody else
anyway so he visited my dad’s buddy who’s MD medical doctor
visited and sat with me and said yeah he’s probably got psychosis so he filled
out a form one which is a legal document stating that I’d be apprehended not
arrested but apprehended because it was a mental health matter so arrested is
for people committing a crime apprehended is for people who are
experiencing mental health issues and so the cops so you know the authorization
was granted that I be apprehended by police and taken to the mental hospital
which should thanks art did I ask you did they say Jessie we think you should
go to the hospital you said no I don’t recall there’s even when I was psychotic
there’s like pieces that I remember sure some of its come back to me and some of
it has it right so I’m not sure yeah but so the cops showed up at my door and
they put me in the cruiser and handcuffed me put in the cruiser and
brought me two km/h at College Street used to be called Clark Institute
they’ve changed that now because apparently the person who Clark
Institute was named after was not so nice of a guy to people or patients or
clients or whatever anyway so um I was brought to the tenth floor the CIU
Clinical Investigation Unit which is now called the epu early psychosis unit and
I was put on the unit I spent three months on the unit while they tried
medications on me wasn’t so bad they had a ping-pong table and I put the pink
hung table up against the wall and I used to bang the ball off the wall and
sink off the wall just like are you crazy buggers in here yeah there was a
TV in the kitchen room and there was actually a smoking room back
people you know smoking and that you know smoking room and I had already quit
smoking so I called it the death room right remember the death of them at
North York General oh yeah yeah you’re in there yeah you know I met a lot of
interesting folks you mentioned you meet a lot of interesting characters in psych
wards man and uh anyway so I was discharged Christmas Eve in 1999 and to
my parents and I was still ill had to go back in for a few weeks in January of
2000 and then I got out and eventually found the right antipsychotic for me I
knew was for me you know in hindsight because after a couple of weeks of using
it all my voices disappeared and that’s how I knew that’s the one thing that
gave me insight so insight is a very important word describing that you can
see clearly that you have a mental health or addiction issue so that fact
of my voice is going away that gave me insight into saying that I have
schizophrenia you know but at the same time of its developing schizophrenia or
yeah moving through that the psychosis in a healthy way I became a Christian I
became a believer of Jesus Christ and I believe to this day with all my heart
that there is a Jesus Christ I don’t think that you’re wrong if you believe
in God and it isn’t Jesus Christ yeah but for me that’s how I started to
believe sure so there’s this duality of I have a mental health issue that’s
durpa dopamine your neurotransmitters firing in my brain that causes me to
have psychosis in your voices and there’s a faith side of me that you know
I have a belief that there’s something greater
own us within us right right and you as you say it doesn’t matter sort of what
that experience is connected to in terms of a fake there were a God or whatnot
but it’s there and it’s a healthy or it can be quite a healthy healing part of
your of someone’s life for sure I mean faith can be huge for people in recovery
yeah so recovery is a word that that is used for once you’ve recognized you’re
ill you’re you you’ve come to a place where you are treating your illness in a
healthy way and moving forward you’ve gained insight and recovery comes after
that and that’s when your true spiritual and healthy life begins right and
recovery means different things to different people not I mean like I know
some people that would say if you’re still drinking alcohol for instance then
you’re not really in recovery right you know but I think as addicts there’s
always something that you need to fill that void with when you when you stop
having some behaviors right but anyway can you explain so one thing in talking
earlier and this is something I think that is when being around you and when I
see you interact with other people there’s you have this you know you’re
human so it’s not 100 percent of the time I’m a human being on a robot you
know but you have this sort of glow of love and kindness and sort of openness
to people which is really lovely can you talk about how I guess maybe whether
it’s faith or just whatever how that’s part of your recovery or maybe that’s
part of you showing what is possible or I don’t know it’s something that’s nice
and you recognize that as part of your well-being can you tell us I guess about
how what love means or how you embody that and how it helps you in your daily
life thank you for bringing that up that’s a perfect segue and what I wanted
to talk about legs okay um I think that love is the most important word or
concept there it is huh and if you have love for God yourself and others then it
doesn’t matter all these written religions it doesn’t matter what name
you use for God you know what I’m saying and I think it’s a huge part of recovery
is having that feeling that we’re all connected some ways and there is a
higher power working in us and through us and that we are treating our brothers
and sisters with respect and dignity and love that must have had but you I assume
that had to start with applying that to yourself oh sure so as we got into
recovery you said you sort of found Christianity yeah well I got the process
of applying that to yourself for sure yes for sure
it was the rigorous honesty right it was moving through being a guy who was
getting into fights stealing money off my mom lying to people being selfish and
thinking of only of myself turning that into somebody that loves himself gives
back to the community supports people when they need it you know it was a
tough thing to turn it around to flip it but actually one of my favorite rappers
k RS one was a huge influence on me becoming a pillar in the community you
know I’m saying yeah I but it wasn’t easy it wasn’t overnight
it was real work no so yeah yeah so just to finish just to
move through what I was talking about where I was at and where I was going so
basically you know I found the right antipsychotic I was not using anything
and I got well and I got a job as a peer support worker so for those who don’t
know if your support worker is somebody who has mental health and addictions
issues that works in the community in the mental health community with people
who are clients or patients or members or basically just people in the
community or peers my peers in another term and so I luckily I shouldn’t say
luckily I put in the work so it wasn’t luck that I did a lot of so into my
recovery I did a lot of public speaking I’ve been connected with various
different organizations such as the schizophrenia Society of Ontario and the
Centre for Addiction and Mental Health and the big one or one of the big ones
for me was Canadian mental health York Region I got a job in 2007 on a early
intervention team called the Hope team help overcome psychosis early pick up to
anybody who knows anybody from there so I I did that I saw was that I started
that in 2007 and I worked there till 2015 working with young people
experiencing psychosis like and I saw a lot of the same behaviors that I was
exhibiting when I do it when I was going through psychosis yeah so basically I
was working with young people experiencing psychosis for the first
time and it was huge it was huge it was a big accolade for me to able to for me
to be able to do that right and you know it was a lot of it was just like you
know running informal peer support groups and playing pool we had a pool
table also you know 30 pong no picnic yeah put
a pool table yeah and some of the best conversations came out of just shooting
the breeze hanging out at the pool table shooting pool you know I mean like to
support young people it’s huge to do fun stuff you know what I mean and provide
like a space like a fun space where you can open up and start talking about
things if it’s difficult for that person life for young people yeah so I moved
through that and then I all this time I was like I said I was doing a lot of
public speaking like I spoke at UofT for a first year to first-year med students
several years in a row spoke to colleges spoke to mpps basically spoke to anybody
who had listened to and I yeah so I moved through CMHA and then I worked at
CAMH taking Epoque service Ontario perceptions of care service to to
residents and patients and clients you know there’s always different words to
people on the units at CAMH to find out like what do they need what’s working
one of the challenges like alchemy live forward and then after that I ended up
working with homeless people in Regent Park cool just yeah yeah literally just
down the street from where we are here at Radio region
what about BTC n beyond the Cuckoo’s Nest sex image because you’ve been a
part of that for a long time and that’s you know my brother and I are now
speaking there and a huge part of starts with me and this podcast as I mentioned
in the beginning is because of us becoming involved there so yeah maybe I
mean you must have over the years spoken to well not just at BT send but in
general thousands and thousands of people so
yeah what was it how was your experience with Beatty CNN how was that sort of
helped frame everything again so BT CN was one of my favorite formats
for speaking speaking and perfect age to speak to people about mental health and
addictions issues high school students yeah
and I it was huge it was huge like that’s when I was
around the same time I started to speak out all right was BT TN and that was
back in my god I think Oh fine so it was before you got started working at and
CMHA Wow why is it as a couple of years before and that was part of my resume
did to get the job at C mhm yeah so can you so we can go over time a little bit
but would you can you tell us the your two stories of being in recovery
that’s exactly good okay yeah they pay me why I like this alright yeah alright
so when you ask get to freedom by the way schizophrenia is a combination of
two Greek words schizo and freeing which means split mind but don’t get it
twisted schizophrenia is not split personality
or multiple personality disorder right that’s a lot a big misconception here
yeah exactly it’s it’s yeah it’s not that it’s a
schizophrenia and one in a hundred people worldwide experience
schizophrenia themselves so 1% of the population worldwide will have
schizophrenia in their lifetime just throwing that out there before I tell
you that schizophrenia you know is not always such a big bad word an example of
it not being a big bad where it is I mean I had a couple of
girlfriends what since I have I was diagnosed with schizophrenia and one of
them I mean you know you don’t like share
right off the bat when you’re dating so many times gets afraid you know like
that’s not that particular time because you never get a date right right
so I remember it was time I was dating this one woman before and a couple years
or whatever and I decided that it was time to share with her than I had
schizophrenia so I’m excited that is it baby I got something to tell you and she
goes oh no what sit her down and say baby I have schizophrenia and she says
is that it I thought you were gonna tell me you’re married and so that not just
went over it wasn’t a big thing we have schizophrenia big deal instead I’m like
there’s so much else to me than having the diagnosis of schizophrenia I’m
saying like I do yoga I play poker I play golf
I like massages I like pedicure I was admiring your lovely nails there’s so
much more to me than then I’m a brother I’m my son I’m you know teammate I’m a
work a coworker right anyway there’s so much more than just the diagnosis yeah
the next one up and this was more recent and I got more bold so I it was less
time until I just devolved the information so this next one I was time
for the talk yeah are you forgetting I could probably tell that actually okay
why are you two okay so you know it was time for the talk and so
I said I sit her down and I say baby I got something to tell you and she says
oh no what what is it I’m saying baby I have schizophrenia and she goes oh I
know I googled you after the second day how was that delivery passing the torch
air their peace I’m gonna start telling my story for me I actually you know
learning from you and other people experience has helped me a lot in
education environments or when people ask questions yeah yeah that’s really
nice to know or at least to be able to reference people’s experience as as sort
of valid and I guess clearly the reality of the situation for a lot of people I
think I don’t know it seems there’s not many people out there talking about this
stuff openly it’s it’s there which is maybe why we’re here doing it yeah for
one thing and something that randomly came to my mind is like little like
himself if if you’re out there and you want to speak in public it is you know
always have somebody in the audience that you know you’re comfortable with
and you know when somebody’s you know says something previously in you know
saying their workshop type way you know like saying as so-and-so said like
bringing up people’s names like people feel really good when you do that type
of stuff right now can you tell us a bit about your support
network and because I think yeah good yeah it’s really helpful for people to
understand the diversity of ways that we can help ourselves or that people get
support because sometimes people think I don’t know what to do I don’t know where
to go no one’s gonna help me to that which certainly when you’re
isolated and scared and whatnot that’s a real valid experience but you know well
the better we can help people move from that to asking for help or phone to
whatever it is so can you tell us a bit about you know what what has been yeah
part of your I think first and foremost like if you’re supporting somebody and
just listening is the the biggest support you can offer like you don’t
have to save the world you don’t have to you know even know how to get somebody
to help you know what I mean and if you’re yourself if yourself if
you’re going through something identifying you know who’s your best
support like who who do you really trust when you’re gonna go forward to with
what you’re going through and family isn’t necessarily your given family you
know you’re free to create your family if needed
right you know it’s an and you know there’s a lot of resources out there now
to you know I mean Hospital is one option if you are experiencing crisis
yeah but there’s a lot of supporting organizations out there as well and you
know maybe doing your research one thing that has been huge to keep me connected
to the mental health community is the consumer survivor info bulletin which is
put out by song sometimes now used to be km/h but now it’s put out by sometimes
cool yeah and it’s all it all comes back to communication cool can you and then
so what about talk to us about the app that you recently helped develop yeah
okay and that was a bit but your slip gear that you’re wearing oh yeah okay so the a 4i is yeah yeah so chemic
created and called a fry-up for independence for people with psychosis I
believe it’s the first thing of its kind it’s going through some beta testing
stages so it will be out to the public at some point I was recently recently
CAMH sent me down to Boston to discuss it and a tech um gathering I guess
conference conference yeah and you know it’s a super good experience and yeah
that you know I guess that’s the way of the world you know I mean we’re we’re
looking at apps to do a lot of our connection and supporting and everything
and yeah do you think I often have a hard time with this that the I don’t
know if it was Kids Help Phone or some kids help phone I think was part of it
but there was recently a huge national launch of a texting service for kids in
crisis and I often I have a hard time balancing between meeting people where
they’re at I just didn’t you know kids are on tech and they’re on their phones
and whatever so that is a good thing to meet them there but what I think all of
us can agree on to some extent is the world is desperately lacking connection
and human to human interaction so the more we sort of create platforms that
are tech tech base the less we have this human interaction which again I don’t
know it’s sort of meeting people where they’re at but at the same time people
don’t need more tech they need more people they need more human experience
so I don’t know what your thoughts on our I’m not yeah I totally agree I
totally agree yeah yeah okay um yeah so just to finish sure
we can go over a little bit but why don’t you talk about your slip here
okay so we got my best friend Dave in the studio with us today as you as I
alluded to earlier and he’s got this super cool sorry that swag swag swag
swag not the schwa not with the swag yeah and it’s gonna be at some point
mm-hmm points posted on the starts with me dot
see a website yes and it’s pretty cool it the way it looks like I have a
t-shirt and a hat and this the way it looks like if it looks like a rectangle
yep and by it’s not just any old rectangle it’s officially the dimensions
of pie uh-huh versus one all right and that’s what makes it so special
so for y’all don’t know what pie is there’s three point one four two one
those are the dimensions and my buddy babes so crazy cool he came up with this
so keep your eyes hosted for this in the future very good
okay everybody Thank You Jesse very much yeah
glad to be here man awesome and so if anybody out there has any questions you
can go to start with me dot CA and contact us there we’re always open to
supporting people or answering questions that we are capable of answering anyhow
thank you for listening let us know if you want to hear but any particular
topics to that’s another thing that we need to get better at asking for
and that’s about it you

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