Hi, I’m Michelle Hammer a schizophrenic girl living in New York City. I created an own the clothing line Schizophrenic.NYC and I’m also a co-host on the podcast A Bipolar, A Schizophrenic and A Podcast. You should totally check it out. Today I want to show people what schizophrenia can actually look like. I’ve been trying to record myself while I talk to myself and I’m having an episode but I’ve been having a lot of trouble. But a few years ago I did catch myself having an episode and I recorded myself. I thought I’d only had about two seconds But when I replayed the video actually had more about 20 seconds. It was really interesting to me to watch because I had never really seen myself talk to myself ever. So I wanted to show people what it actually looks like, while I narrate the entire time. So let’s get to it. So here it begins. I’m trying to get myself. Just to zone out. Now I’m listening just some music because I just wanted to zone as fast as possible. And I was just listening to music just as zone out and you can see it soon in my eyes. I will start thinking I’m looking at something or I’m gonna start hallucinating and start thinking there’s people in the room. That are there and there’s there’s my eyes. I’m looking around and I’m talking right now. I’m making no actual sounds but I’m talking. And that movement was me trying to get out of the talking. I’m trying to fight the talking by making these faces. I’m trying to get out of it. I want it to stop and I don’t even know that I’m doing this right now. And I’m just making these weird faces and I’m talking it’s just bizarre and it’s fighting. I’m almost fighting myself to stop from talking. But I’m having this conversation and I don’t want it to be there and I’m still doing it. And you can see right about now I’m going to look at the camera. Right right there. I see the camera and I stop There you go. Thank you everyone for watching my video and seeing what schizophrenia can actually look like. It’s not really a violent thing. It’s not something to be scared of. It’s not something that you should be really terrified of. If you’ve been diagnosed, sometimes you just talk to yourself when you’re alone. You really shouldn’t be ashamed of it at all. And I’m not ashamed at all that I have schizophrenia. I wanted to show the world what it can really look like, and I hope that people really learned from this video. If you’ve been diagnosed, your life is not over. If you have a family member with schizophrenia I hope this opened your eyes a little bit. And I hope everybody could learn something from this video. Once again, i’m Michelle Hammer, and I really hope that you like this video and I hope you share this video if you feel like you learned something from it. thank you so much and Goodbye!