Hi! This is Omar from DepressionHero.com where
I show you how I beat depression and I think you can too using the same techniques that
I have learned over hundreds of hours of therapy and thousands of dollars of therapy.
Today I have been surfing all day. I am at the beach here on vacation and I realized
one thing that I want to talk to you about. That has to do with confidence. A lot of times when I was depressed, the reason
for my being depressed was because I had lost my confidence in myself and I felt that I
was a total loser. Some things that happened: I had lost a lot of money, I did not have
a girlfriend, or I was not being productive, or I felt I should be in better shape. A variety
of things can happen and did happen at different times as well. And I felt like a loser. I
lost my confidence. So I was thinking; how would I get my confidence back? Today I was surfing and I realized that confidence
comes with competence. Confidence comes with competence. The more competent you are at
something, whatever that is, the more confident you are in doing that thing. For example,
if you are very good at drawing, then you are competent at drawing, then you feel confident
if somebody gives you a paper and a pencil and says; hey, draw me a sketch of myself.
You feel confident about doing that. But if you do not have that competence, then you
do not have that confidence. So how do you get competence? You get competence
by doing something, practicing, having the experience, and having more and more and more
experience. Just by spending some time today playing with the waves and surfing, I was
able to actually improve my surfing skills by actually improving my timing, actually
getting a read of the waves better. I became more competent at bodysurfing, so now I feel
more confident in tackling bigger waves. So what does this have to do with depression?
Again, when I was depressed I did not have confidence. If you are depressed and you do
not have confidence, then there is some program in your head that keeps repeating itself,
this negative self talk that keeps going on. And it is a habit. It is just a habit. Why
is it a habit? It is a habit because it has been going on for so long and you do not realize
it because it is subconscious, meaning it happens below your level of conscious awareness.
This conversation is happening and you are not even aware that it is happening. It is
habitual because it happens all the time. It is a habit. So here it is. It is automatic. It is a habit.
And it happens below your radar screen, let us say. It is under the radar. It is always
on conversation. So therefore you feel that you are incompetent and therefore you feel
you have little confidence in doing a special task, including getting out of depression. What can you do about it? Well, it has to
do with changing the conversation. But first you have to become confident at seeing the
conversation, at listening to the conversation, at being aware that there is this conversation.
The thing is you have to just start. Like today, I got in the water and I tumbled many
times. I grazed the bottom of the beach floor. I grazed my stomach here. It is all raw a
little bit. But I kept going. I kept going. I kept going. And because I kept getting more
experience, I became better. The same thing with you. You have to start
by listening to the conversation. Write down what that conversation is. What is that negative
conversation that is happening in your brain, in your mind, the conversation you are having
with yourself where you say; oh I cannot do this, I cannot do this, I cannot do that?
Because that is the conversation that you have to catch, because a lot of times you
are not aware of it. First of all, have the desire because if you do not have the desire
to change that conversation, nothing is going to change. So get the desire. Next thing is discover.
That is the second step. Discover what is that conversation. Write it down. Catch it
every time. Just catch it. Catch it. Write it down. And realize. For example, I might
say to myself; oh I cannot swim very well so there is no point in trying. Or when I
surf this is true. When I surf, this is how I surf. I close my nostrils with my one hand
and I surf like this. I look like an absolute dork. So if you do not have that inner confidence
where you do not care, then you will not do it. I do not care. I do not care what other
people think. Now I do not care. Beforehand I really used
to care what other people think. And there are still situations where I do care what
other people think. So this is what I do. This is how I surf. But I became more competent
at it. So what you have to do is find that conversation. Become aware of it. Write it
down. And then, start to talk back to that conversation. Talk back to your mind and say
— When the mind says; oh I cannot dance well, or I cannot surf, or I cannot swim well,
or I will never be able to do this or that, you change the conversation. You say; yes,
I can do that. What makes you think I cannot? Of course I
can, because I am competent in other things. Write down what else you are competent in.
What else are you competent in? And draw on that because your competence on one area means
you can be competent in another area. Because you are confident in one area means you are
confident in another area. You are probably a confident driver. But when you first learned
to drive, when you got on the highway and you have these huge trucks and semis going
right around you, you were probably a little bit anxious and nervous. Draw on the fact
that you have confidence and competence in other areas and draw on that energy to put
it into other areas where you do not have it yet. And realize that the yet part comes
from experience. That is it. It is just a question of doing
it now, doing something different. Desire, discover, do. It is a very simple formula.
And you can do it. Why can you do it? Because I did it. And I am not really very different
from you. I have a different accent from you. I look different. I do not have hair. But
we are basically the same. We both have brains. We both have arms. We both have the same bodily
structure. And you can do it. It is just a question of becoming confident in doing it. Now I can catch my own inner conversations.
It takes me less time. Sometimes it takes five to ten minutes. Sometimes it takes an
hour before I realize; oh my God, I have been in this whole negative spiral for an hour.
And then I get out of it. But now I am much, much faster at it. And that is the trick to
become faster and better. That comes with experience. That is what you have to do. Become
aware of your inner conversation. Write it down. And then turn it around. And that is
it. So if you want to hear or see more videos
like this where I give you tips about how I beat depression, go to DepressionHero.com,
leave your name and email, and I will send you more videos. That is it. Let me know what you think. Let
me know what results you get. Let me know what questions you have. And I will see you
in the next video. Take care!