Shea Talks Post-Partum Depression and Having Kids with Michael | Ready to Love | OWN


SHEA: It seems like there’s
a concern about my womb, so– MIKE: Yeah. SHEA: –you want
to talk about it? MIKE: Yeah, let’s
hear the reservations. SHEA: When I had
Sheason, it was– it wasn’t planned. So I was going to
the doctor by myself. I really was alone, you know? Nobody really comes
with the responsibility. And it was literally like
24/7 I had a kid hooked to me. And I damn near
went out of my mind. I’m in love with my son,
but nobody understands. I had postpartum depression
after I had Sheason, and it’s a very real thing. It was one of the
darkest times of my life. So to relive that experience
again is a scary thing. After I had Sheason,
that was probably, like, one of the lowest
points in my life. My son just turned 18. So to start from
square one again, you know what I’m saying? That’s me risking it all. That scares the
[BLEEP] out of me.

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Comments

  1. If he really loves her idk maybe they can adopt or he can have a kid from another woman like a surrogate and they can be together but idk

  2. When nephew Tommy created this show he should have had younger women an profiles made it just seems like he just out the blue made a show an wanted to see if it was good for tv, this show is so unorganized, like Michael he wants kids but these ladies are older in age, an Aaron he wants to play these women are mature and looking for championship the older guy forgot his name i really don't know what he wants

  3. Shea doesn't need to be constantly justifying her position on not wanting another kid, especially since her and Mike are not in a relationship. He knows her position, so he can take it or leave it. Simple!

  4. She needs to understand that she was young and thats what happens sometimes when you make babies with a guy who is immature. but when a guy like mikes WHO actually wants a family. Highly unlikely that he will leave you to do it alone baby girl😉

  5. I totally understand where Shea is coming from cause I have an 18 year old too. I decided long time ago that I would only date men with kids preferably one just so that I wouldn't go through something like this with a dude who wants kids. It makes dating a lil easier when you know what you want and don't want.

  6. I like how they talk to each other. Also, Mike touches her like he cares for her. I hope this couple works out. ❤️

  7. I think with the right man and support she can see how beautiful mothering a child can be and hopefully with her husband it'll be an experience they both cherish… I like them together I hope it works out

  8. She has trust issues when it comes to having another baby. I believe that if they where to get together and get married and she give him that baby he wants it'll be all his because he just want see his legacy. He's done it all now he's ready for the family. I love them together not Shatava she seem like you make her mad you gone need over night security because she busting up something and her homegirls got her back

  9. If her son is off in college, that baggage was a long time ago. You're older, wiser and more prepared. Let it go and be happy.

  10. Well that adds a bit of texture and color to her perspective. Honestly, these are the type of honest conversations couples must have on a wide range of subjects. I'm glad this is playing out. This isn't just about a baby. They are talking about building a "life" together…companionship. You must do that with the right person. If they genuinely have a connection and love one another, they owe it to themselves and one another to think and talk this through while considering what their options are. Neither should throw the baby out with the bath water, so to speak. Just my opinion.

  11. I like Michael a lot he can dress and he comes off a straight up man and say what he wants as for children I think he is a keeper because most men don't want kids and if you have some already they want it to be about him and you and not the kids ( in some cases) but I feel he and Alexx would make great husbands and fathers.

  12. I like Shea and Michael you can see he’s totally into her. It’s sad 😞 that they may end up as friends. I still don’t like the second place 🥈 Shatarva my spirit is not feeling her, it’s something about her that’s not come out yet….

  13. Women needs to talk about post pardum is real. She is talking about the reality f having a baby. Mike wants a baby but don't that it takes to raise a baby. We all have ideas on the kind of parent we want to be but when that baby comes it changes everything. I don't want a man to enter me and every month be tied to a pregnancy stick then after a while he doesn't want to touch me at all bcas you calculated I should have been pregnant by now. Love me to make love to me and don't love me to be a breeder only. What if God tells us NO" are you still gonna love/want me. Mike can't answer those real questions. He is like a lot of women who live I a baby fantasy land and when reality hits them in the face they can't cope.

  14. I just love them. Mike seems like the realest our of all the guys and I like Shea. She’s straight up and has her stuff together. I hope they make it.

  15. She sold him a DREAM in the first episode to get a leg up on the other girls😡….

    Now she trying to sell him her…NIGHTMARE!😡

    I want them.to WIN🙏…but she has to understand ALL MEN ARE NOT THE.SAME!!!😡

    MIKE IS A DIFFERENT KIND OF MAN!🤗👏👏👏….

    HER LOST!😡 IF SHE MISS OUT.😩

    Baggage makes us miss out on our BLESSINGS😩

  16. I love Mike and Shea together, but in his conversations with her, I don't think I've heard him talk about being with her–he just seems to want kids. I'm wondering what she wants.

  17. I understand. I had post partum depression after my first child and it was hell. I was always crying and I just wanted out. I went through it for a full year without meds then one day finally I was over it. Just like shea I went through my pregnancy by myself. Of course I had my mom and my dad but my son's father left. So it was hard. But my we're doing just fine now. I can't imagine not having my son.

  18. Then he is not for you and you are not for him. He wants children. You don't.
    Mike, let her go. I don't think any of these ladies is on Mike's level culturally, spiritually, consciously.

  19. Postpartum is real and it sucks how as black women we don't talk about it nor expose it. When I had my son, his dad was there but I had to do everything, i resented him because he could sleep and I was awaken every hour to feed a hungry newborn. There was a time where the thought of smothering my child crossed my mind😢😢😢😭😭😭. Y'all it was hard and it was a very dark period. I didn't even tell my parents and they tried their hardest to not let me carry that burden by myself. Wow. Needless to say I have a smart 7 year old who is my world and my own personal entertainer. 😊😊😊🤣🤣🤣. My advice to any woman out there, no matter to tone of skin you're in, speak to someone about it, lots of infants deaths and mother suicides could have been prevented if only we spoke up. Have a blessed night, school for the little one in the a.m., and work for this hot mom. Lol

  20. I believe in Prayer and how it can truly CHANGE THINGS. Will you guys please join me in fervent prayer for these two young ppl? I believe in them. I really do. Prayer works – WHEN WE WORK IT!

  21. She’s super valid in her reasoning. I’m glad she’s able to say that up front rather than giving false hope, which some people would.

  22. I love the connection between Mike n Shea they are practically intimate just by touch…i hope they get together cuz i believe if Shea can have kids she would. Marvelous darling!

  23. Mike is really I into Shae, but we have to put ourselves in her position. It can be scary to do this again all by your self. I don't think that Mike have honestly thought this whole thing through. Love will make do things that you normally wouldn't do. Are they in love. For Shae this is a serious sacrifice. we're talking about bringing in a new life into this mean and selfish world. I've been married for 29 yrs. this December we thought just for a moment we couldn't have kids But God! blessed us with a boy and girl. I wish Shae and Mike the best. my brother don't let this journey be about you but about Us! you and Shae! Consult God.

  24. He now then need to tell her that with him by her said that will not happen, he needs to reassure her and let her know that, common fight harder for her trust.

  25. Mike and Shea have a strong physical attraction and they get along together. But they clearly want different things from each other.

  26. Men just don't understand. They don't go through the body, emotional and mostly hormonal changes during and post pregnancy. And mother do the majority of the rearing even when they have involved partners or husbands. So it really easy for men to romanticize parenthood. Y'all ain't doing 90% of the work 🙄

  27. This man has grown to really care for this woman in such a small amount of time . The way he looks at her while she’s speaking and touching her arm so soft . Mike like this woman so much I think he will risk it all . Because the thought of loosing Shay really bothered him . You can tell . Hope she comes around for him and I hope he continues to prove to her that he’s in it for the long hall and won’t disappoint her . If he can show her that not only will they have children but there relationship would be awesome. Wish them the best .

  28. I like them a lot but Maybe they should wait. It might not be the right time. He may have a baby by some one else and it not work out and then no more baby fever and it’s perfect.
    Life’s weird like that.

  29. Shea is very honest about her ordeal as a single mother and her pregnancy. I don't blame her for not wanting to repeat it.

  30. I understand her i think she needs time & she will but she has to know that he's for ready no games he seem like a nice guy i like them together

  31. I may be wrong but I'm starting to think that Shea only doesn't want to have kids because she is afraid of being alone and doing it by herself…..I don't think that's the exactly the same of not wanting to have a child but idk

  32. Shea my favorite. Real. Honest. No bullsh……. plus she looks super young, actually younger than the young ones on the show.They are so good together. I hope they find common ground because the love and chemistry is so obvious. Mike needs to just reassure her and deliver.

  33. The problem with Mike is that he doesn't love Shea with or without a child. Mike is the best of all the 3 guys but what if Shea says she will have a child with him and she finds out that she can't get pregnant? Will he just dump her? He has a right to have a child and a family if that is his dream but how is that love for Shea?

  34. What is a woman like Shea doing on a dating show to begin with? She's smart, business focused, beautiful, sensible, mature. Black men, what is going on??

  35. Shea is scared, but Shea baby your life is not a reduction to what someone else did to you. Be open to love and trust its process—this is a real man—he knows how to treat a woman even during a pregnancy—be married and give the man one lil chocolate drop—come talk to DocDee huni…it will work out. #PROCESS #YOURTIME #SHEATIME #GONHEADNA

  36. I like these two together; the discussion is definitely some you can work through. Love will hold your hand as you hold each other's hand.

  37. I had my second child at 41 and would not do it after age 44 for sure! He seems like a caring man but its not fun to be in your 50s with a child under the age 10. Kids need a lot of energy and young parents more easily provide that energy. Shea is so beautiful and youthful looking that it's easy to forget that age may play an issue in fertility and the quality of her remaining eggs…an unfortunate fact.

  38. This is REAL! Post-Partum Depression!! I'm in Michael shoes. We're UNICORNS of Atlanta men want children but don't have children yet. It's rough dating Atlanta women going through this issue. Sometimes don't want to date women with children. If you can't have children with them in the end.

  39. Postpartum or not, this is still a 44 year old woman. Is she even able to get pregnant or carry a baby full term? Also, who the hell wants to be in their 50s taking their kid to their first day of kindergarten??!

  40. So this is where the love part comes in. Love is patient and its kind and it selfless so for a person to push aside their natural wants and desires for another person that is a gift. Relationships take work! Everyone’s struggle it’s different. You may meet a person and have a struggle in one area of life and another couple has another struggle In a different area of their relationship. No relationship is with out it challenges or problems. But if you follow your heart and you choose love over fear it should all be worth it In the end..this looks like the struggle of Mike and Shea’s relationship..We all have them..no relationship is immune to them..you just have to ask yourself are you willing to trade how he looks at you and how you feel in return for another relationship with a different set of issues..the next girl may want kids but he will never feel the same way even after he has that child..and Shea will likely find a guy who doesn’t want more kids..but maybe you just don’t have that spark w them..you can’t have it all..we all have to choose what in the end is worth working on

  41. I just love them for each other. He wants that woman because knowing how she feels about having kids and he STILL THERE?!?! There’s something there, no doubt. I really hope they make it happen.

  42. Alexx is in the ICU where the flu went into his brain. Please help, his
    mother has started a go fund me for his recovery when he leaves the
    hospital. Please donate, send well wished to Alexx and his family. See
    his Go Fund Me at https://www.gofundme.com/alexx-lives. Thank you so
    much!!

  43. Maternal Mortality
    Our family just lost a loved one 2 days before Thanksgiving 2018. She was pregnant and in her early 40s like Shea and looked young, beautiful and very active. She gave us a beautiful baby girl and several hours later she was gone.
    Her funeral was Friday the day after Thanksgiving. Our family is now hurting and devastated. I just want more women to be educated about "maternal mortality".
    "Lost Mothers: Maternal Mortality In The U.S. : NPR"
    https://www.npr.org/series/543928389/lost-mothers

  44. Its scary that he’s making plans to have a baby with her, but doesnt even know her yet. Has he said one word about marriage or making a home?

  45. Best couple.
    If Shea had a baby or babies with Michael he would make sure that he was with her every step of the way.

  46. Shea…you be quiet and try and have a baby with IVF, breaking Mike's bank, you crying daily….just stop it.
    You are 44, Mike wants more than one child. Get pregnant or go home.

  47. She needs to be honest with Mike and just tell him the real reason about not wanting children. Which is because she is 44. I cant believe he doesn't realize this, or it hasn't came up. Smh

  48. I wonder if this was the deal breaker that ultimately ended their relationship earlier this year. I think they were a great match.

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