Tony Robbins: DON’T DOUBT YOURSEF ( Tony Robbins Depression )


Self-confidence it’s something people
talk about all the time when they say why they’re not succeeding over and over
I hear people say I just don’t have enough confidence
this isn’t confidence is not something you have it’s something you create and
you can create it in any moment in time a sense of confidence is nothing but a
sense of power within yourself a sense of certainty that you can pull something
off and you can create that feeling literally in a moment it’s not something
that you live with there’s no one that I’ve ever met that no matter what
situation they’re in is always confident everybody gets knocked off kilter at
times the key is can you turn the confidence on when you need it so you
can get the most out of yourself does that make sense so far so you’ve got to
remember that feeling confident is nothing but a state of mind and you can
change and create any state you want at any moment in time no matter what’s
going on around you let me give you some specific examples there are three
primary ways that you can create self-confidence at any moment in time to
get the most out of yourself and produce the results you really want approach
number one you’re familiar with it’s called physiology you’ve got to remember
that any feeling you’ve ever had in your body whether it be fear anxiety concern
depression frustration or ecstasy power unstoppable ‘ti confidence success those
emotions any emotion you feel comes from the way you use your physical body the
only way you can feel anything is by the way you move the way you breathe your
facial expressions so if you’re not feeling confident you don’t have to
intellectually try and pump yourself up because it doesn’t always work
I’m sure you’ve tried at times to go well I need to be confident I know I
should be confident but you’re still not there let me tell you the quickest way
to get confident is to change your physiology radically listen in our
seminars around the country those unleash the power within programs we
take people through a first evening we call fear into power and it’s an
experience where we get you to change your conditioning and feel totally
confident in an area you’d normally be totally afraid of so at the broadcast
site we use a fire walk experience where everyone walks across the fire between
1,200 and 2,000 degrees burning hot coals and in the theaters we have people
actually learn how to break through a wood
body style and they do in about 15 minutes and it requires not only
confidence as you might guess but competence to do something that most
people take two or three years to learn how to do in a few minutes now the
purpose of this is to get people in a state of being totally strong a
confident even though they were totally afraid lacking confidence only moments
before let me tell you something to get yourself across a bed of burning hot
coals or to smash through some wood even though you might be tiny and small but
what is much bigger than you’ve ever done before I’m gonna tell you something
to do that you got to make a major change in your state major now let me
tell you we do that the number one way we do this is we get people to move
their bodies or the level of intensity and power that they probably never
experienced before remember earlier in these tapes I said
to you that emotion is created by motion the way you move your body physically
the way you breathed your facial expressions instantly affects your
emotional state the way you feel and the way you think so if you need confidence
you must move in a confident way you must literally put yourself at level 10
or above remember those conversations so what I
do with people is literally I’ll take somebody who comes up to the fire and
they go oh gosh I really don’t think I could do this and I say I couldn’t do it
either if I talk like you right now stand up breathe strong take a huge deep
breath in blow it out hard what I want you to say the word yes and then go yes
I said no no say yes and I have them yelling I go yes
say it again yes and pretty soon they feel incredibly strong and I say walk
and I go okay and it’s like instantly a moment ago they were totally afraid now
they have the confidence to do it the only difference was changing their state
of mind and emotion by changing the way they’re using their body but I do it
radically major explosive changes in other words if I was gonna make a
gesture I wouldn’t just like reach my hand out towards you I’d snap it out
there that’s the kind of state of confidence I’m talking about are you
following me in other words you’ve got to move deliberately as if you are
absolutely totally in control you know you can create any result you want if
you meet someone who’s confident you know it before they open their mouth
don’t you can’t you tell by the way they move by the way they speak listen what
if when you turn these tapes on I said well I want to thank you for listening
I’m Tony Robbins and I want to share with you over the next 30 days how you
could have well you know absolute total self confidence you can go get rid of
this guy what am i doing what’s going on here lose this guy’s on drugs what’s the
deal see the bottom line is I communicate rapidly because I’m
confident is that I’m competent know confident that’s what I’m talking about
I’m hopefully I’m competent to but the bottom line is I’m just letting it go
out of that state of confidence though ideas pop up this whole set of tapes
have been designed to help you get results without limits I didn’t say to
here and say okay no I’m going to say this and littles like that I’m gonna put
it in this order I want you and I had a relationship that moves you this whole
set of programs comes from my ability to say I’m confident I know I can reach
this person if I didn’t believe that you and I couldn’t have this conversation
right now but sometimes I don’t feel confident
sometimes I don’t feel like I know what I’m gonna say next
have you ever been there what I do at that time is act as if I know what I’m
doing which is a useful approach now you might say well you’re teaching people to
be confident but not competent I Got News for you if you’re confident enough
you can develop the competence but if you’re competent and you don’t have
confidence you’ll never succeed there are many competent people who
could accomplish incredible results but they’re missing the confidence am I
suggesting to you to be foolhardy no what I’m suggesting to you is learn how
to turn on the confidence rapidly use enough of it to learn what you need to
know to be competent and effective and produce the results but you’d be
surprised how much more you know then you realize if you really get yourself
in the right state of mind does that make sense
try it try moving your body in a confident way back try it right now
please stand up again if you’re in the car it’ll be a little bit more difficult
oh no no don’t sit back down some of you started to stand up and you sat back now
don’t do that I’m there I’m watching I’m telling you stand up and what I want you
to do is just try something stand the way you be standing if you fell on
probably confident breed the way be breathing if you fell unstoppably
confident really go for it put the gun of expression on your face
like you’d have if you were unstoppably confident and make some gestures
actually move your hands out with some powers if you’re trying to make a point
with real power and what you know that what you’re gonna say is gonna be
effective and just notice how that feels say something say yes and the tone of
voice is somebody who is totally confident don’t go use yes with some
power and just feel that feels in your body get a sense of it turn on more
intensity than you would normally use when another person just feel it in your
body so you feel what it’s like you want to be able to turn it on just by turning
your body on this is critical with this is a power you can go from being afraid
to strong in a matter of moments now try something really stupid and silly while
you’re standing there I’d like you to walk around your room and the way I’d
like you to do that is I want you to imagine there’s a cape shooting off the
back of your back and I’m gonna have this call we call this a cape walk now
if nothing else has felt stupid up until now this one is guaranteed to assist you
in this process what I want you to do is stand up pretend there’s a cape back
there shoulders are back and I want you to walk around just walk around a circle
but like you got this cape flowing back there with a sense of pride in power
they go I’m not gonna do this listen only those who are truly secure can
participate in this exercise go for it try it come on walk around just notice
that the feels like seriously walk around and knows how it feels down the
cape on your back and from that state even though it seems humorous try it
right now are you listening to me walk around a field it feels like there this
cape flowing off your back there and notice what happens in terms of your
confidence even though you may be laughing do you feel a little stronger
are you more upright you feel more alive just know this you can sit back down now
don’t sit on your cape bottom line is this if you are making gestures with
certainty if you’re moving with certainty with some acceleration with
some power if you speak with that kind of tempo you will feel confident in a
matter how you’re feeling a few moments ago if you want to feel like you have a
lack of confidence move not only slowly because slowly could still be confident
move slowly but move with hesitation speak with
hesitation and within a short period of time you can cause yourself to not only
feel bored with yourself but also to actually feel like you can’t accomplish
anything in essence remember this using your physical body effectively can put
you in a state of confidence no matter what was happening around you no matter
how intense the situation no matter how scary no matter how difficult you always
have that resource don’t ever say to yourself again one of
the dudes break out of that Jail if you don’t feel like you have confidence
create it right now it’s not a thing that somebody gave you years ago it’s
not something you missed out on it’s something you create by the way speak by
the way you move by the way you gesture that’s one here’s number two control
your mental focus remember what you focus on is going to determine how you
feel so if you focus constantly on how things might not work out and you look
at in your brain all the possibilities of well what this doesn’t work or what
if that doesn’t happen if that’s your mental focus of course you’re gonna lack
confidence remember we experience whatever we focus
on so if you’re focusing on how things won’t work you’re gonna feel the pain
that you associate to that you’re gonna create a tremendous amount of doubt and
then it usually becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy you don’t get
what you want let me give you a kind of a simple example I’d like you to try
something please listen and please do this what I want you to do is think of
something you really want to have happen in your future something like to have or
do or be and what I’d like you to do is hope hope that you’ll get this to happen
in your life okay try it think of something you really want in
your life something you really want to have happen and I hope it’ll happen
notice how it feels when you hope it’ll happen you may even notice what you say to
yourself and you’ll hope something will happen now what I want you to do is get
out of that state completely get out stay for a second and now let’s have you
think about the same thing you want to have it happen in your life but this
time I want you to expect that it will happen absolutely totally expect it know
it okay and when you know it’s gonna happen I want you to notice what happens
to the pictures in your mind as you think about it what’s different when you
notice the difference your body absolutely expect
that will happen you expect this will occur you absolutely know it now I got a
question for you is there a difference in how you feel in your body first of
all and I think you’ll find the answer yes in addition is there a difference in
even how you visualize these two things in your mind
there are several distinctions that I make usually when I ask people what the
difference is between their hoping and they’re expecting invariably a number
one in distinction as people tell me things like well I noticed that when I
was hoping that the picture was dim or it was dark or was gray or as black and
white or or it was two pictures I saw myself succeeding but I also saw the
possibility of failing versus one I expected I saw just one picture I saw it
happening interesting when you focus on it just happening you feel confident
when you focus on it might happen or it might not happen you don’t feel so
confident is that fair to say also when people focus on things that they’re
expecting many times they put it in color the other thing that commonly
comes up is people say things like well when I was hoping I felt kind of passive
and when I was expecting I felt active I felt like I needed to do something
interesting was that true for you the reason is whatever we focus on we
get so if you’re focusing on two possibilities your brain is getting
different neural associations it’s going could be painful it could be pleasurable
your brain doesn’t know what to do it doesn’t feel confident but when you
expect and focus on one result you say this is what it is I’m going to
accomplish this I expect it immediately your level of self confidence goes up
and you feel active immediately because your brain says hey if I do this I can
get some pleasure in my life does that make sense that’s the process we’re
talking about we must control our focus and one way to do it of course is to
control our focus by controlling the questions we ask ourselves invariably
people who have a lot of doubt asked questions that created they say things
like well could I really get this done I wonder or God I wonder if this will get
screwed up too versus coming from the place of saying how can I get this done
or better what’s the best way I can get this done see when something comes up
for me if I want to be confident I don’t say gosh do you think I can really pull
this off I ask myself what’s the best way to get this done and enjoy the
process now by listen to the presupposition there the
presupposition is my mind’s gonna focus on how to get it done I’m gonna start
expecting it’s gonna get done I’m gonna feel confident first is saying will it
work or will it not in which case I start focusing on two different
possibilities and I lose my confidence are you following me
good now third way that we can control our focus is just to change our core
beliefs and we’ve already talked about how to do this over and over again if
you walk around in life believing that the only way you can feel confident is
if you’ve already accomplished something you got a problem you’re limiting
yourself to the number of things you can ever feel confident about and succeed in
other words some people say well how can I be confident when I’ve never done it
before listen I feel confident all kinds of
things I’ve never done before you say well that’s because you’re screwed up no
that’s not why it is it’s because I come from a belief system that says this that
if I can imagine it I can achieve it so if I can even imagine it I know I can
achieve it and that allows me to be confident plus I have a belief system
that says if I’m committed there’s always a way to make it work and no
matter how tough the situation is if I don’t know how to make it work somebody
else does and I can get their help so I come from that place and that allows me
to be confident I know I can get help I know if I’m committed there’s a way to
do it and I know that anything in the past I’ve really been able to imagine
accomplishing and finding a role model for I can’t accomplish hey listen
everything you do now you once weren’t good at everything you do now there was
a time when you had not done it why wait to get confident besides that I know I
can be confident about what I’m about to begin because I know look if it doesn’t
work out I’ll learn something and that makes me feel confident because of that
learning will allow me to be better in the future
in other words set yourself up to be able to be confident again I’m not
suggesting be foolhardy I’m just telling you how to turn confidence on when you
need it and most of time you do need it so a key question a lot of people ask me
is well how can I create that level of belief I understand I can change my body
but how can I create that belief so I wouldn’t have to work at it well there’s
a simple process that I teach people I call it my success cycle and it for me
is my way of explaining why people who succeed seem to continue to succeed and
get even stronger and people fail seem to go down a downward spiral why do the
rich get richer and the poor get poorer just turn in terms of rich or poor
financially but rich meaning mental emotional social spiritual intellectual
physiological and financial I put a copy of the drawing of my success cycle there
on your summary now if you take a look at it you’ll see that there are four
elements that I think affect the quality of our lives and I’ve got them
represented there by those four boxes up in the top left-hand corner there you
should see the word potential what’s the potential of any human being I
personally believe it absolutely is unlimited none of us even come close to
scratching our real potential the second element that affects human
performance is our actions up there in the Box in the right hand corner the
third element that affects performance are the actual results that we’ve gotten
in other words what’s the impact of our present actions and potential being
utilized and finally the fourth element that affects performance is our beliefs
and you’ll see that down in the left hand corner in that box and you notice
that all these boxes have arrows that connect them and they’re all pointing in
a particular direction going clockwise is if this was a continuous cycle how
does it work well number one what’s the potential of any human being again
unlimited but do most people’s results in life that bottom right hand corner
box do most people’s results reflect that level of potential I would say no
way what’s the problem you might say oh I see what is Tony it’s that second box
at the top they don’t take enough what action I think that’s true in many cases
but that’s not the only problem there are a lot of people who go out there and
take a lot of action and still get lousy results why action by itself is great
but it is not enough hey if you’re in sales and you go out make a hundred cold
calls because you’re doing lousy but you go out win a state of mind we don’t
expect anyone’s gonna buy and you turn to people and say things like you
wouldn’t want to buy anything from me would you maybe you don’t say that
verbally but maybe your face says that because you don’t expect them to is that
gonna affect your results you better believe it’s going to you’re
gonna get lousy results in other words success starts with our beliefs if you
look at that bottom left hand box that is the core of your performance think
about it see the potential is there but if for
some reason you start out with some learning beliefs like well I don’t have
that much self-confidence anyway or I don’t have the background or I’ve
never done this before so I probably won’t succeed anyway if you have that
belief are you likely to tap a lot of your potential highly unlikely now if
you don’t think you’re gonna succeed you’re not using much potential are you
likely to take massive action hardly now when you tap a little bit of
potential and you only take a little bit of action what kind of results do you
get a little bit of results if any now what does that do to your brain and your
beliefs your brain goes see I told you so now you have this reinforcing belief
pattern because it points back to that experience so what happens you have even
less belief you have even less potential you take even less action if that’s
possible you get even worse results and now you’re truly locked into the
downward spiral to the point where now you start looking at how can you do the
very least to get by that’s called death rattle to personal success the opposite
is also true too sometimes people have an experience in life where for some
reason they get a result or something happens and they begin to absolutely
believe not just hope but know that they can accomplish something when that
happens whether it because you changed your body who you had a new experience
you’re gonna tap a lot more potential when you know you’re gonna succeed
aren’t you and therefore you’re gonna probably take a lot more action knowing
you’re gonna succeed you’re inspired you’re gonna go for it when you take a
lot of action and use a lot of your potential what kind of results you get
usually great results when you get great results what does
that do to your belief your brain goes hmm
see I told you you would succeed and sure enough now your beliefs Irvan
stronger so what do you do you tap even more potential you take massive action
and you get even greater results what happens your beliefs even stronger and
now you’re in that success cycle you’re in that place well you literally have
momentum that drives you to a whole new level
that’s how beliefs are formed you might say well how can I get results though
what do I do if I’m on the downward spiral
well you don’t change your potential that’s always there you don’t just take
action although that’s a great first step you’ve got to change your beliefs
and that one of the easiest ways to do that is change your results in advance
you might say what do you mean well let me give you an example would you please
stop what you’re doing right now and do the
exercise with me change your focus and pay a hundred percent attention you’re
gonna like this here’s what I want you to do please stand up just for a moment
come on stand up there come on and what I’d like you to do is put your feet
together so they’re pointing straight ahead then what I want you to do is just
take your right arm and bring it straight out in front of you and point
your right index finger directly in front of you so you’re pointing straight
ahead when I say now what I’d like you to do is turn clockwise as far as you
can comfortably without stretching yourself or pushing
yourself really hurting yourself okay ready go ahead and turn clockwise now as
far as you can and just notice where you end up good now come back again okay
drop your right arm close your eyes and what I want to do is something really
simple some simple neuro societal conditioning now it’s gonna be simpler
than anything we’ve done so far all I want you to do is imagine that you’re
bringing your right arm back up again and I want you to imagine it so vividly
that you actually feel as if and see your hand coming up in front of you
straight out 20 in front of you again in other words don’t actually do it but
make it so real that it feels as if it’s happening and you can see it occurring
then in your mind’s eye see and feel yourself turning clockwise again only
this time going twice as far and make it effortless and expect to enjoy it good
and then come back around in your mind and again in your mind see and feel your
arm coming up in front of you with your finger pointing straight ahead and when
I say now turn clockwise and see and feel no don’t actually do it but make it
so real it feels like it’s happening see and feel yourself again turning and this
time going three times as far as you did the first time excellent and now do it a
third time do it very rapidly and feel and expect yourself to go almost four
times as far will you turn almost all the way around very good now open your
eyes bring your right arm back up physically this time with your finger
pointing straight ahead and when I say now turn clockwise and go as far as you
can without hurting yourself and watch how much further you go this time go for
it if you’re like most people you’ve gone much further in fact the average
person goes at least 1/3 further than they did before so I got a
question for you go ahead and have a seat my question is this what happened
here did your potential change no you always
had the potential to turn that far did you like make major changes in your
actions no way you didn’t make it major changes in your actions but your results
did change why because by Erie Herzing in your mind
over and over again you conditioned your mind to believe to feel certain that it
could go much further you created an association in your nervous system it
said this will feel good and I can go further and now you’ve gone much further
in fact if you did it again you could go even further again so this is a perfect
metaphor for what has to happen in life if you want to succeed you need to
rehearse over and over succeeding until it’s so real for you your brain begins
to believe it now you’ll tap more potential you’ll take better action in
real life you’ll get better results then we’ll reinforce your belief and now
you’re off and running does this make sense this is the way to create lifelong
unstoppable self-confidence this is what I did for myself because I was on the
downward spiral all I did was create the results in my head so vividly I began to
believe them when I believed them I tapped more potential I took more action
I started to get those real results in my life emotionally economically and my
relationships in virtually every area of my life
and let me leave you with two more things on confidence one if you really
want to be confident know what causes people to lack in it focusing too much
on yourself and not enough on other people will guarantee that you’ll lack
confidence what do I mean I mean some people like confidence because they pick
themselves apart they spend all day every day
analyzing themselves why did I do this why don’t I do that how come I never
accomplish these things they ask lousy questions they get lousy answers and
they create a tremendous amount of self-doubt do you want to have more
confidence stop analyzing yourself so much and focus on other people how you
can contribute to them and as you start giving other people you’ll feel more
confident about what you can even do for yourself so make sense and finally this
you can feel confident if all you do is remember some of the things you’ve
accomplished in your life you are a successful competent person you’ve done
a lot of things in your life extremely well no matter
you are what your background is there are things in this world that you are
really good at things you’ve really accomplished in your life that you’ve
got to be proud of every human being I meet I know is my superior because I
know all of us in life have focused our attention on various things and whatever
you focused on a lot you’re good at and every human being I meet in my life I
know that I’m superior to in some way as well that makes me feel confident as
well knowing I can learn from other people and that I can give to so in
order to help yourself really have reasons to feel confident not just put
yourself in state but to feel like you got reasons all you’ve got to do is
manage your memories better pull out some of your memories of tough
situations in your life well you didn’t think you could pull it off but you
turned it around you have some of those don’t you situations where you think I
can never figure a way to pull this off and yet you did you need to remember
more of those and less of the times and you felt overwhelmed what I want you to
do is take out your success journal and your assignment for day is simple I want
you to come up with five of your greatest successes in life things where
you’ve really turned it on maybe some situations where it looks really dark
looked really difficult and you didn’t know how you’re gonna pull it off but
you did and all I want you to do is write down a paragraph or so about each
one of those in other words pull out of your memory files some of the references
that can show you that you deserve to be confident that you’re competent and
confident that you can make things happen even in the toughest of times and
use those examples to remind yourself in the future that whatever’s going on you
can find a way do that today and have some fun filtering through your memories
and picking five of your favorites you

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Comments

  1. Can you talk about how to get out of toxic relationships? They are so demeaning that you can’t even find a way out….can’t even trust yourself to get there….

  2. I could listen to Tony all night long. Love how he explains everything. Changed the way I think and the way I live my life. True hero x

  3. Ain't nobody doubting themselves just tired of all the bullshit lies. I dont even care if I'm the creator. Take that job and shove it up the EUs assholes

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