What Do Depression & Medications Feel Like? | Inside Intimacy

– Taking antidepressants
is like more chill than taking like Flonase or
like Aspirin, like honestly. – Yeah, it’s like people are
so afraid of antidepressants and they fully like
rip cocaine at parties. Hi, I’m Rose Surnow and I’m mentally ill, but don’t worry, I’m medicated. Today on Inside Intimacy,
we talk depression. – Other than Kanye, everyone
has to take your meds. – That’s hilarious. – I think because my mom
was like a Russian immigrant with a very hard life, I couldn’t really explain my problems without her putting it on a graph of like, well, this is not a big deal. – Yeah, you weren’t, like,
fleeing the Cossacks. – Yes, exactly. – Do you have any experience
with mental health issues? – Depression and anxiety. – So mainly depression and anxiety. – I do, I struggle with both actually. – Hi, I’m Beowulf Jones, America’s sweetheart, bipolar Canadian. – Yeah, baby. – I have definitely
suffered from depression for a lot of my life,
especially my younger years, just from past trauma
that I couldn’t heal. – I went through a really bad breakup and then I went through, I slipped into a depression that lasted a good six to eight months, and I didn’t think I
would ever come out of it. – I’ve been diagnosed bipolar. At first they thought it
was chronic depression because I was cripplingly
depressed half the time, but the other time I felt great. – I wasn’t having any fun. It felt like I was in a
little room with a window, where I could see all
my friends hanging out outside of the window and they’re like, come on, hang out with us. I’m like, I can’t. I’m in this room with no door and I can, like, see
you guys, but it sucks. – Low interest in socializing,
eating, sleeping a lot, highly emotional, you know, crying, not being engaged in anything. You know, kind of feeling like there was this dark cloud kind
of like spraying over you. – Not being able to sleep, and then being up at 6:00 and then feeling like
I have nothing to do. There was nothing I could find comfort in. – I was just very difficult to be around. I guess I felt I had no confidence, so I was trying to prove that
I was better than people. – I just felt so short of breath. Like I just felt like there was a hand on my throat at all times. – Like a claustrophobic feeling. My chest gets really tight and then, it’s just hard for me to breathe. I need to sit down definitely. – One time I was having a panic attack and I knocked on my roommate’s
door at one in the morning. I was like, “Hey, is it
cool if I sleep in here “because I think if I fall
asleep, I’m going to die.” He was like, “Yeah,
man, you could totally, “like you’re not gonna die, “like you can totally just sleep in here “if you want, man, you’re good.” – He sounds like such a sweet guy. – He is a very sweet man, yeah. – After I had my first ever panic attack, I remember, like, looking in the mirror and being like, “Wow, I
can’t believe I didn’t “cry off this mascara.”
Like, so impressed. – You killed your first panic attack. – Yeah, I did, and came out looking as beautiful as I went in. – I make things, like, I make short films and I like to do that to
keep creatively motivated. I was like what if, like,
I’d make a short film where I try to kill myself and fail. It’s a comedy. – You’re like, “Ha, ha, ha, help!” – When I was 21, I was dating a therapist and after years of no one
knowing what to do with me, she diagnosed me in like two minutes. – And how did you feel being diagnosed? – I felt great! I felt like there was an
answer for why I was different, for why my behavior was so erratic, it wasn’t just ’cause I was a jerk. – I took a year off in my
junior year for my mental health and everyone thought I studied abroad. So they’re like, “How
was studying abroad?” I was like, “At my parents house?” I just like, laughed it off, I said, yeah, it was super memorable. – I got on meds when I was
19, that’s a long time ago. It wasn’t as common, so I didn’t know that many people on meds, so I was really scared
when I first got on them. – Yeah, I mean, I was scared
before getting on meds. That it would destroy my sex life, it would destroy my art, it would make me like, a
numb, shut down zombie, who was a gray corporate drone, who couldn’t feel feelings. And like, the total opposite happened. Really, it brought me back
to who I feel I really am. – I mean, that’s exactly how I feel. – Yeah. – Just the stigma around it is like, you take them and then
you’ve got no emotion, and you’re just a zombie walking around, and you’ve failed at life, that’s why you have to
take antidepressants. But that’s very far from the truth. – People who are anti-meds
who think that you can do diet and lifestyle hacks to
improve your depression, I was a spin teacher. I was a yoga teacher. I was vegan. I was vegetarian. I was gluten free. I did all the things,
and I was the most fit, unhappy, depressed person you’ve ever met. – So was there ever anyone in your life who was kind of like, pressuring
you not to take medication? – Yes, my girlfriend was
very anti-medication. I think she just was like, look you need to try all
of the natural options before you try medication. – And what was your response? – Uh, I’m losing my mind,
I need to try medication. – I’m sure you’re girlfriend is amazing, and she loves you and you love her, and everyone has their little blind spots, but my issue with that is like, a person who doesn’t
have clinical depression really doesn’t need to tell me what I should be doing
with my mental health. – There were some, you know, side effects that I wasn’t quite happy with. – Sexual side effects? – Yeah, so… – Were you on Lexapro? – I was on Lexapro. – Yeah, it’s a killer. I mean, I’m on it, but it’s hard. – I just couldn’t manage with it, so I tried to just do it on my
own, which has been helpful. I mean, I go to groups and
I have a therapist ongoing, and so that seems to be helping. I think the benefits
for me, is just kind of, feeling like I exist in the world again. I have friends who don’t
know how to function just yet and still suffer through it, because they aren’t taking meds, they aren’t seeing a therapist. – If I had have had this ten years ago, I don’t even know how my
life would be different. And so, that’s why it’s important
for me to talk about it. For 25 year old Megan, who was like, binge drinking and in bad relationships, and just couldn’t see that
the world didn’t hate her. It was her head, you know? – I always say, I’m like a really happy, fun person with depression. Like when I’m medicated, when I’m doing what I need
to do, my life is awesome. I’m really positive. – Totally, yeah. – This is how I’m supposed to be. – So what I love about today is like, it’s not taboo to talk about this stuff. Like, I have a coworker who
will still whisper like, “I have to leave to go see my therapist.” I’m like, that’s like going
to see your dermatologist. You’re a human, who has moods. – Yeah, I love this Jenny. – And you need help. We aren’t born with these tools, we have to be shown it
through other people. – I don’t think people should whisper their mental health problems. I think they should scream them, because if you’re finding
something helpful, I almost think it’s your responsibility to let other people know, because so many people suffer silently. – The thing that has helped
me the most is therapy. Not just talking therapy, but
also hypnosis and meditation. – Cool. – And of course, the meds. They don’t do all the work, they just level the playing field, so you can deal with
your real world problems. They don’t magically
make everything better, but they’ve made me stable and I love being stable, it’s great. – I love being stable too!
– Yay! – Do you have any advice for people with anxiety
if they’re watching? – I wish I did, but I also think I’m
still figuring that out, so if anyone else does. I’ll watch this video when it comes outs, and then like, oh, yeah,
okay, got it, I’ll do that. – I just wanted to thank you
for talking about this topic, and I hope people hear
other people’s experiences and know that they’re not alone. – Thanks, Jenny, I really appreciate it. – Thank you. – If your anxiety and
depression was a type of sushi, what would it be? – It would probably be like, a loaded, way too many sauces, like oven baked, fried, terrible monster. That’s what my depression is, I think.

About the author


  1. I'm not anti meds, but look up akathisia and ask yourself "what if this happened to me". It's a crap shoot, you can't know it won't happen to you. Also people are having really difficult withdrawals trying to come off antidepressants. Never change a dose suddenly, increases and decreases should be very gradual.

  2. I believe medications are a great option for some. I have tried so many medications and they all make me feel numb. Like no feelings. I wish I could find one that worked for me. I wish everyone struggling with depression and anxiety can find the help they need!

  3. Meds saved my life! The few side effects and the adjustment period are worth not being cripplingly anxious every day.

  4. I’m glad these people with depression and anxiety can do this interview with a random stranger. OCD controls my life.

  5. Depends on the dosis and the combination, even if you have a good doctor or a total asshole whom don't care about how you feel with meds, I am in my third try with meds and I started to feel like i never feel in a lot of years wich its amazing! Almost a decade of anxiety and depression i lost hope and credibility in doctors but it is matter of time and consistensy and therapy you will fine what it works for you.
    For everybody out there who is strugglying at the moment, you are not alone and you worth it, things keeps improve with time, hope you read this and have a good day!
    (Sorry for my english lol

  6. Omg. So much of this. And dealing with managing your symptoms vs managing your side effects is the worst. And I have other conditions that involve mental health as well as other more physical symptoms. It’s just a bloody hassle that never stops it feels like and I just find I need to be open about it because if I don’t talk about it, how will others talk about their mental health to me?

  7. I've been on meds since 2008 & I still have periods when my mental health declines & I have to switch meds to find what really works for me. Right now I'm on prozac & I find myself wondering if it is helping me anymore. Thanks for this vid cuz I know meds have definitely helped me with my mental illness. Without it I know I wouldn't be able to function normally & I never want to be there again. Thank you for saying you think ppl shouldn't have to whisper about their mental health!! So so true! ❤

  8. Meds made me gain so much weight that I realized, After 2 yrs, I was more miserable being fat than depressed because in the end being fat made me depressed

  9. Oh, if only people knew more about magic mushrooms. Go on a nice hike alone with a friend.. you would be surprised how much it may help

  10. I suffer from PTSD Depression and Anxiety. Watching this video was very special to me because I don't feel as alone anymore. It helped me realize that many people take medication and that's a lifesaver for me and I'm glad that there is medication to take. You guys did a great job on this video and I truly appreciate it and I like meeting all the other people that are dealing with these issues as well.

  11. Only medications i take is Ashwagandha and i feel stable, to everyone having depression and anxiety there is help out there, though i haven't tried any Doctor's medications, Ayurveda and Meditation is the answer for me, you will get through it.

  12. Took 7 months for me to get diagnosed with bipolar depression. The trial and error with antidepressants was horrible and i literally gave up on life. Lexapro is horrible but now seroquel seems to do the trick.

  13. Every medication I’ve ever taken for my mental health has affected me more negatively than it helped.. wish they worked for me because it’s hard on my own

  14. Took 8 years of trial and error to find a medication that may or may not be helping me to be in the relatively good place that I am today. (I'd be lying if I said it's worth the wait.) I believe that the power of external circumstances and of the placebo effect are wayyy higher than any antidepressant out there. Take it or leave it, it's just my opinion.

  15. I don't think I will ever be taking anti depressants made by big pharma cos' I've discovered that there are already much better alternatives that don't actually alter your sex drive and make it low, makes you emotionally numb and stuff. CBD is a much better alternative than antidepressants but you also will have to keep taking it for a long time but without all of the negative side effects. I will be trying LSD for the first time and try meditating while on it. One LSD/shrooms trip can change you for good and I've actually heard that it has helped a lot of people with anxiety, depression, OCD and other mental health conditions.

  16. I've literally never been depressed. Just a bit sad sometimes. WHen ppl describe depression to Im dumbfounded, like I've never ever been close to that

  17. I've started trying after many years of suffering 'the natural way' , unfortunately up until now, I have only had side effects and no helping ones. Was kind of hoping they would talk about that as well. Now I am trying to get clean again, so we can re-evaluate, but that has been even harder than taking them. I was definitely hoping for some relief, as in: what if I don't háve to suffer so much. What if meds could actually help me … Ingoing journey I guess. But kind of hoped to find some 'you're not alone' about that part of the story as well 😔

  18. Just to show the other side…
    Once you start, stopping is near impossible cause it can send you into a worse mental state when tapering off
    I've been on meds for years, having to switch to new ones, etc, and because it's been so long, it's hard to tell if it actually helps, or if I'm just dependent on it. I do believe these meds can help some people, but it should be a last resort in my opinion. Not worth the 'addiction' if it's something that could just take time and therapy to overcome. I think most issues can be resolved this way. Either way, not really an easy road to pick here, but I think having a little faith in yourself and your inherent ability to overcome is the best way to go, at least for me after my experience with antidepressants

  19. At the beginning I didn't take my meds and everything went worse but now for one year I'm fine taking my meds
    Depression sucks and anxiety is whooossh hell but well it's part of my life learning to live with it and accept myself that I am sick and without that meds I couldn't handle things. People just became doctors the minute I tell them about my mental health it's exhausting, Noone really knows what nightmare you went through,

    And mental health is real just because people don't talk about it doesent mean Noone has it.

  20. Those who are "anti-meds" are NOT just pro-diet and pro-exercise/yoga etc. By saying that depression or any mental illness is simply a "chemical imbalance in the brain" then its essentially saying that there are no external factors that contribute to mental health issues. When we know from research that stress, loneliness, other medical conditions, the food you eat, how much you get into nature, the job that you do, all have massive impacts on your mental health. It's great that medication works for some, but it doesn't work for everyone. If it did, then rates of depression wouldn't be increasing, they would be decreasing. And there wouldn't be the need to constantly up your dosage because the depression only gets worse over time. It is good to destigmatise taking anti-depressants, but it is harmful to act like they are the one stop cure for mental illness, when in reality its way for complex than that.

  21. It's great seeing people talk about their past/present state of mental health. Being open and honest about it is one of the best things you can do

  22. Do you think depression and anxiety have always been this common? It seems like there’s been a huge increase in the last few years. Or maybe it’s just the awareness on the illnesses. What do you think?

  23. Well… I do need to chime in here and offer a different perspective. I was not "anti-meds" before starting my antidepressant but after suffering through horrible withdrawal while trying to taper, I am now very against these meds. I had only been on it for 3 months before tapering and went at a pace slower than my doctor recommended but STILL I ended up in full-blown withdrawal at a loss for what was happening and what to do. Extreme paranoia, anxiety, tearfulness and crying with painful brain-squeezing headaches. Much worse than my symptoms before ever going on the drugs. All this to say, be very very careful if you ever start or want to taper. Best advice is to reduce 10% dosage reductions per month, using liquid or compounding pharmacy. This reduces risk of serious harm.

  24. I've officially have unsubscribed to this channel whom has made me feel like it's a piece of crap on the toilet bowl when it doesn't work especially with what that person on the microphone making jokes on mental health like she said at the beginning of the video, I pity these ppl whom gave her the interview for this disgustingly made video and believe me I didnt watch it completely.

  25. This video was cool, I also have depression and still really young, it gets bad but sometime I get over it, I diden try medicine and idk if I wanna lot of times people says I would grow of it or it's just bc I'm a kid or teen, but idk makes me happy knowing it helped them that needed it tho^_^

  26. I just went to the therapist like 1 month ago after crying every night for 2 years. Yeah, I hope everything will be fine for me just like the others in this video. I feel great knowing that meds can help them.

  27. this is really nice and all but i was very vocal about my mental health only got shamed cuz of it. so no thanks to shouting it out loud

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *