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  1. Hey Claudia,

    I love your videos!! I have just started my own mental health channel and was wondering if you would mind taking a look at it for me? any feedback would be really appreciated 🙂 xx

  2. If you really want to get better read this and do what it says. It's science not pseudoscience. It will help you. It saved my life after a 20 year depression.
    http://www.amazon.com/Feeling-Good-The-Mood-Therapy/dp/0380810336

  3. For me it's like I'm drowning in a pool of darkness. It's like I'm enveloped in chains, restricting me from moving, from breathing, from living. It's having no will, no desire, almost as if I am chained to the bed in the morning. There is no future, there is no hope. It's just a really foggy, dark place in which I'm cycling between numb as hell and anxious/sad as hell. I frequently get migraines and tension headaches in these periods, which only contribute to my brain fog/confusion. It's just like I'm drowning in a pit of sensory deprivation. I cannot feel anything and I'd be lying if I said I never attempted to force feeling upon myself in negative ways.

    Living with depression in this society is like trying to use a wrench to hammer a nail. The people around you say "just use a hammer" as they hand you wrench after wrench.

  4. There was an abstract I read about micro-blogging and people with depression. The abstract talked about the difference between using the internet to express feelings, talking to someone face to face, and writing in a private journal or diary.
    1. There is no expected response from a journal.
    2. There is an expected response when talking face to face with someone (it is a social norm to respond to someone when they talk to you, especially friends or family).
    3. But with micro-blogging or other social media, there is generally no expected response so when someone does respond it is out of genuine desire to include themselves in the conversation.

  5. This was very brave to put this up, thank you for sharing, your experience sounds very similar to my own, I think I have worn a mask over it a lot more than you though, hiding it from those that don't understand, only just having it become part of my medical history now. I have described it to some as constantly swinging against the tide, and taking all my effort to stay where I am and not be swept away, but unable to move forward. I have also described it as both a monster and a beast locked inside me, waiting for it's chance to break free. I am lucky now, not only am I getting the medical help I need, I have a group of friends online that understand what this is like and are there for me, and I am there for them, this is support like I've never had it before, and I know how much good this is doing for me. If you can find people you feel you can trust, who are willing to understand and be patient with you, take their help, it makes such a huge difference. If you can find no one else, try me, I listen well.

  6. If you are depressed I'd put it to you that it's because you are a feminist. Feminism posits that you are a victim of patriarchy. Feeling like you are always a Victim is a pretty depressing mindset. For all your talk of empowerment overcoming the oppression you think is afflicting you, you will never be happy because there is no actual oppression afflicting you and because there isn't there is no way you will ever be made right because there is no way to ever achieve the result of not being oppressed.
    The only way out of that would be to stop assuming you are oppressed and somy live your life.
    Feminism is your affliction. You are making yourself depressed.
    OR you have a paranoid narcissistic personality and seek out feminism because it confirms your narcissism and paranoia.
    Seek out NLP and learn how to assess your thought processes. I think you'll understand that you are your own enemy & the world isn't quite as bad as you think, especially when You are a white & apparently well off

  7. If I had the time, I would create a million accounts just to like this video on them. Thank you for making this, you are awesome. 🙂

  8. I'm so glad I found you, Claudia. You make feel so reassured and not alone. I totally relate to everything you say. I'm also an emetophobic and right now, that's what's taking over me and making my depression worse. But when I watch your videos it makes feel comforted and like everything will eventually be okay. Thank you, Claudia.

  9. Thanks for this video. I could relate to it very much, I also suffer from clinical depression, going through a rough patch at the moment, I was very reluctant to admit I had a relapse, but it has become hard to deal with day to day activities. Somehow listening to this video (and some others) gave me a push to acceptance and to seek help again. Looking forward to come out of this new relapse, and wishing you a full recovery as well.

  10. as soon as i opened this vid it was like a punch in the gut cos in all your other videos you always seem so confident and on this one you just seem so much more vulnerable and i know this was posted a year ago but i just hope you're doing better now

  11. Normally it's said that depression is caused by a deficiency of serotonin crossing the synapses in the brain.

  12. With me, I feel nothing. It's like the door to my emotions closes and locks itself. The only things I feel are overwhelming neutrals, sadness, and anger. I began to avoid my family because I didn't have any energy to put on a faux happy face. When I have good days I feel guilty. On bad days I feel like I was just being lazy or weak when in reality I felt like garbage and had no motivation. In the summer, my depression isn't as severe, since school for me isn't in session. I'm able to stay in bed when I feel down over summer break. When I go back to school, however, it's a whole other story. I rarely am able to keep my happy face on for an entire day at school. My classes for next year are very vigorous and I honestly have no idea how I'm going to do the work when my fingers and arms feel like they are full of lead. I'm at a constant battle with myself if I really am depressed or not. That's where my self loathing stems from. When my episode is nearing an end, I feel most guilty, as if I'm a fraud for feeling better.

  13. I suffer from depression and anxiety too so don't feel alone. I think it kinda runs in my family. I used to get really anxious and it would affect my stomach a lot, fortunately the thing with my stomach isn't as bad now. My depression points fluctuates from severe to manageable i guess? I had a really bad patch last year where I really thought I didn't care if i died. It was a really horrible feeling that I don't want to feel again. It's a little better now I guess, but I don't think it really ever goes away. One thing that people don't get is that you don't have to look a certain way to feel like shit. Depression isn't some cool trend and not everyone is pretending to get attention. If people do things that looks like they want attention maybe they need help. If you can find someone to talk to do it because it may help more than you think.

  14. My last depressive episode: Despair and Nothing matters anymore. I think that's the best words to describe it. And just like you said very small things can become this huge problem. I remember crying and being very upset for hours because I had forgotten that I needed to transfer money to my college. Next day it turned out that I hadn't even missed the deadline yet and even if I had, it just would have cost a bit more…so no big deal. But it felt like the end of the world…it's weird when I think about it now.

  15. I sent this to my Mum as you have described my ENTIRE LIFE! I could never put this as eloquently as you.
    Thank you for this video. Sending you love and positivity. Li. xxxx

  16. Wow. your all a bunch of week, pathetic nut cases.  making a sad excuse for your fuck shit attitudes. If you say your going to kill yur self then do it.

  17. You don't look depressed if I was to see you for the first time on this video. You look shy and awkward. But there is a large difference between you here, and you on the other videos where you're very bright and articulate so in that case you're clearly depressed in comparison.

  18. THANK YOU for posting this because, as much as I may understand that my issues are from my illness, hearing that someone else has all these same symptoms as I have, helps me to recognize that I'm not just some random, isolated piece of shit. I genuinely have an illness and I'm okay and I'm not alone. Thank you.

  19. What you had to say about the relief you feel when you have a name for the monster that's been following you around can be so incredibly powerful. I hope that, almost a year later, you're doing well. Thank you for making this video.

  20. I found your channel today and watched a few of your videos. I am inspired by you and your strength. I feel like you can understand a little bit of how I feel, and that is so comforting to me. I hope you continue to make these videos. Thank you for being you.

  21. Personaly, depression feels like having this little dark person inside of me (a bit like the shadow you talked about) who is so sad, angry, and despaired, and clings on to me all the time. I also feel separated from my entourage, it's like there is a cloud or a window around me that shields of people and feelings, it makes me feel empty and alone. Feeling of loneliness is omnipresent as well.

  22. either you have a twin sister or you have a form of dissociative personality , I know you are down , but i think in this vid , you seem so different to all your other films , I truly , am not trying to be nasty . in fact i think you seem much more likeable in this film . Anyway . It just seems different .

  23. my brother committed suicide and in his not stated his anxiety triggered insomnia and depression. In the end his anxiety prevented him from leaving his room from fear of people judging him for his looks or from being gay, and in his room where he stayed all the time was seeing dark shadows coming at him like demons. We had no idea it was so bad

  24. My depression doesn't feel like sadness. I can barely cry or feel much. It's an emptiness where I can't distract myself with books or TV. I have no joy in doing things and my back aches from laying in bed for so long. I have no energy to put on my sheos or shower. It's terrible. Life is so pointless.

  25. Thank you so much for making these kinds of videos, they're wonderful and I just want to hug you. I've not been diagnosed but I hope to go to a counsilor at my school with a friend as moral support tomorrow. Watching your videos really make me feel as if my feelings are valid and that's really amazing. Thatnk you once again!

  26. Thank you so much for this video. I suspect that I have depression in some degree, and this really helped. I can relate to most things you mentioned when I'm having a bad day/days.

  27. I have many stages from depression, but when I it's overtaking me I usually start feeling disconnected of everything. Is like there is a dark veil between me and the world. My mind and body become numb, I get more and more intrusive thoughts that get more irrational as it gets more sever. I find suddenly very difficult to talk to people around me, phisical contact is sometimes a bit forced for me because my usual feelings are completely off . And I am usually extremely tired, hopeless and very angry and violent with myself.

    So yes, I basically become this different other person. It depends on how bad is my crisis at that time. When I am very depressed I can't see the illness, I just blame myself for everything over and over again. But when I get better I always see clearly that I wasn't being myself and my thoughts were irrational.

    Thanks for your videos, it's very useful to see people talking this openly and I understand how hard it is. Keep on the good work!

  28. It is not ok that those people are being insensitive and hurting people with mental illness.
    But please understand non-depressed people also have pain in their life too.
    And they have to go to work and stuff no matter how bad or sad they are feeling, they can't just take the day off and stay in bed.
    I do not think I have mental illness but I do have anxiety and guilt, and I imagine most of people suffer from that kind of things..
    Again that is not for a reason to criticise people with mental illness.
    But I guess this is another reality to look at.

  29. I feel like you and people just tell me have to motivate myself and when I say is not that easy they call me lazy… but it's not that I don't want to motivate myself it's more like I'm too weak too tired to find or feel motivation. And for that I thought that I was crazy because it's like you can't control yourself but I think it's this shadow around me… It's stronger than me and I don't know how to kill it

  30. oh my gosh. I have never seen someone understand how I'm feeling this well. thank you for letting me feel less alone. really, thank you:)

  31. My situation is very, very similar to yours. I've been able to stop self-harming and have even been clean a year, but trying to stop feels awful because I always believed I was done and when a relapse happened, I kept getting disappointed in myself and wondering why I couldn't get rid of the intrusive thoughts and absolute hopelessness without cutting. It's hard to say what it is exactly that helped me through it. My family didn't know, they thought I only had bad anxiety because that's all I would share with them, so they couldn't give any advice or rules for me – they could only offer support when I seemed nervous or wasn't eating the way I should've. I was going through talk therapy after discussing my depression with a doctor and all this led to medication, which seemed to make everything worse for a time simply because of the horrible side effects. I also have emetophobia and worried every day that it would make me sick, especially if I had the dose increased, but I knew that the highest dose was nowhere near what I was taking and that made me trust the doctors a bit more when they asked I do try increasing the dose. At this point, I'm still not a perfectly normal human adult, and my anxiety is all over the place, but my depression is different from before. There's a lot more chill days and even times where I just want to be silly and play games. A big part of the healing process I think was making a friend who is older and does a lot of great art and coming to meet with her every now and then to do art together. She says I help motivate her and keep her happy and it's definitely the same for me. I learn a lot of techniques from her, get to hang out with her cats, and get to mess around with paint, clay, fabric, wire, and whatever without any pressure to be a normal human with five billion responsibilities. Another thing I find helps me is always having a blanket to hide in around the house and a stuffed animal to squish in my purse. The stuffed animal is nice especially when I worry about my stomach and if I get extremely worried, I'll even take a tums, if just to ease my mind.
    And I wrote a novel here, whoops! Uhm, hope it helps or resonates with you as your video did for me.

  32. I think that sensitive people are more prone to depression. There is a saying: 'If you care – life is tough. If you don't care – life is easy'.

    I can't think why anyone would give this video a thumbs down. There are some mean people out there.

  33. For me my depression is confusing , and frustrating because I remember mistakes and have guilt , feel a negative pulse going through my body , I feel deeply sad and have a really strong feeling to jump to the freedom of death , I feel helpless and really sad and have no solution

  34. i remember finding this video a few months back…i was in a really dark place and this video was recommendef and i remember that i started sobbing on the floor of my bathroom with a blade in my hand because i self diagnosed two years back but when i found this i finally realized that i must have depression. i finally realized that i wasnt alone and that there is someone else who feels 100% the same way.
    and now i'm back, the exact same spot becaus i neede to hear that i'm not alone.
    i guess what i want you to say is THANK YOU. you're the first person to 100% perfectly describe what i feel because before i didnt feel depressed enough and think i was just lazy.
    so thank you so so much

  35. Bro just think of the good things u can do in life, i dont get why people have "depression" Srry but i mean like life is, not that bad man :/

  36. you are very brave. I feel very similar. I also sometimes when I feel better, I blame myself I could not feel better the other days. which sucks

  37. Whenever I think that I have depression I just keep telling myself Im making it up and how Im only seeking for attention and how it's only going to be a burden for other people if I talk about it in hopes of making it disappear but its not going anywhere. Everyday it becomes unbearable but I keep getting stuck in a cycle of saying I need help, its not real, I need help, its not real etc And I can't describe it. Its like everything is blurry or unclear. It's like everything is here but I just feel so out of it. Additionally I think I have 'Seasonal Affective disorder' that makes things so much more complicated. It means my depression is worse in the winter months. I never realised this until only recently but it answers why my depression is always the most severe when the weather is cold and gloomy. Its weird and I'm scared people might judge me for it

  38. Start using hemp oil along with other options as it is effective natural source with high-quality nutrients. Studies have proven that it is effective for treating depression.

  39. I don't have any friends because of depression. That manifests itself in self harming and suicidal tendencies. I hate being myself sometimes. I have tried many things to help myself and seen doctors and psychiatrists countless times but they don't offer me support. I sometimes feel very, very alone.

  40. I'm a middle school student and I think I'm depressed but I feel like I'm just telling myself that as an excuse for my lack of energy, motivation, concentration, ect. I have only told one person about it and it was my friend but u didn't feel better if fact, I felt worse. I felt guilty and exposed because I know that that friend doesn't have the best life and I felt like I was complaining about my problems while her problems where probably worse. I haven't told anyone but her because I felt like she would be the only one that would understand. I'm so scared of telling people because I'm scared they'll judge me and say that I'm not depressed and that I'm fine. for me it feels like sadness and nothingness. sometimes I feel sad and sometimes it feel like nothing and the thing is that I can be happy but when I do feel happy I feel that maybe I'm not depressed and I'm faking it. I also feel I'm faking it because I don't want to get rid of it and I think to myself if I was depressed wouldn't I want to get rid of it? I always am irritated by everything and I wish it would go away. the irratiblity makes me literally dislike people and I don't even know why I'm irritated. I also like to read but sometimes when it gets bad I don't want to read and i cant consentrate enough to but the problem is reading takes me away from my mind ( if that makes sense ). So if I stop reading if will just just gradually get worse
    and I'm scared of falling into something darker then I'm already in. And I think stress is one of the main causes of it also with self-loathing, caring what people think and tradgic experiences.

  41. Can someone help me?
    I think I have depression and anxiety but here is the problem, my dad doesn't believe that all mental illness are real. He thinks people with depression and/or anxiety are doing it for attention.
    I really want to get help but if I do my dad will just ignore me and won't help me.
    I also think I have social anxiety, I have no friends and I don't wanna get to that point of depression were I can't take it anymore.
    What should I do?
    (Sorry for my bad English)

  42. idk if it's depression or not but for me, I'm always tired and it's like a little demon is on my shoulder reminding me of how worthless I am and how there's no hope in life, I feel hopeless and my appetite is gone completely. I fake smiles and I feel like crying all the time and it takes so long to do things because there is just no point. I don't know if this might be depression but I thought I'd just share it. xxx

  43. To me depression feels like I'm being taken over. Like I have no control over myself and I end up crying 😭 and it's always there threatening to take over every second. Even when I'm super happy there is always the slightest chance that something could trigger it. I was 10 years old when I started self harming. I try not to do it much but sometimes that is the only way I can get my emotions out. Sometimes I feel so shut down like my body won't work and it's a scary feeling to have when your depressed and I feel like if I don't take my meds I might kill myself and I don't want that. Thank you for making this video. I feel a little bit less lonely (if that made sense)

  44. For me it feels like theese things are becomming more common in earlier ages nowadays. Or maybe it just wasn't as much talked about/or I just didn't know any of this (mental illnesses) when I was in my teens! I'm trying to think very hard to see if I had that kind of symptoms when I was really young. Cause I KNOW from age of 13 (high school) that I fell in to deppression and such. But I never talked to anyone about it or sought or got any help (I'm a little amazed I'm still alive today). I have a lot of trouble nowadays to remember the years before 13. ^^;
    I do recognize and relate to a lot of what you said in the video. I try to look at it objectivly when it comes to those around me 'not understanding'. To see that it's difficult for them to. It hurts quite a bit though that one can't easilly make them understand – BUT, at the same time. Do one REALLY want to make them know how it feels?. What if that would result in draging them down in to the same patterns/problems? Then I guess I would rather have them just try and support and try their best and just countinue to love me atleast :,> than having them "fall down" and start feeling the same ways.

  45. same with the periods of depression I know I got diagnosed with it like with my severe anxiety in December but I been struggling with depression since I was 14 & I was struggling with my severe anxiety since I was 16 currently 19 but I completely relate to some of this & for me it's like how you described it to everyone struggling with depression stay strong ❤

  46. I just feel empty, or i start to cry and my body just feels heavy. Most of the time I can't sleep or I sleep too much and right now I can't sleep and its almost 3 am and the thing is no one knows how I feel yet but my boyfriend. I don't know if i have depression but I will soon find out when I go with my doctor in April I just want it to go away and another thing is I have felt this way since I was really young and im 18 right now about to be 19 soon.

  47. there's so much in this video that I relate to. I know there's something wrong, but i don't have a diagnosis because my parents don't allow me to see a doctor about it. I can't even talk to any of my friends about how I really feel. the only place I can open up is where nobody I know will notice, cause the alternative is frightening.

  48. i relate to this so much it really feels like a shadow thats always there and i try to distract myself with reading and writting. and tv shows etc.

  49. For me it feels like I have nothing to look forward too. Melancholy boredom and loneliness. I lose interest in almost all of the things I start. I cant make myself do things like Showering every single day or excercising. No matter how much sleep I get , I always feel tired and lazy. I have unexplained aches and I hate getting out of bed. Endless disappointments. Sometimes I dont feel like talking to anyone.I tell myself that that I look ugly and will never be married. I dwell on things that worry or upset me. The docter told me that I'm gaining a pound a week

  50. Whenever I am having depressive episode, it feels like a huge cloud has come down and engulfed my head. I cannot think straight, I cannot do things that I enjoy doing, and all I can do is really lie on the floor and sleep or cry, maybe both. It feels like all hope is lost. I feel like I am acting all of the time whether it's socializing or with my family or at work. It gets very exhausting that I often wish that I could just go to sleep and not wake up just to be rid of this mental and emotional pain. This weekend I had a depressive episode where I attempted to hang myself. I feel so weak that I even tried to commit suicide, and those thoughts and feelings just fuels my depression.

  51. The stuff you're describing is a lot like how I feel but I wouldn't cancel plans because I would probably hate myself more because of it.

  52. I'm not diagnosed, but here are my feelings: I wake up and sometimes it's a good day, but most of the time I get up and fight back tears, wishing that I hadn't gotten up. And then I pretend to be happy the whole day even though it feels like there's something pressed against my chest and that my heart doesn't beat fast enough. I can't talk to anyone about it because I feel guilty and like a failure all the time because I have an amazing family and an amazing life. Every day when I get home it's like demon version of me asks myself why I didn't cut for the first time today or why I didn't kill myself today. And recently it's been getting really hard to ignore the demon.

  53. I don't have depression, but I do get these really weird episodes where its like my brain and body disconnect and I'll be lying in bed concentrating on getting up and thinking that I need to get out of bed and nothing happens. But its weird 'cause I'm not sad or mad or anything really. I actually don't really feel anything at those points.

  54. My therapist says I don't have depression but I related to every single one of the things you mentioned. I constantly have to stay home because I am too tired (I also have chronic fatigue), to panicky/anxious, or can't stop crying whether it's because of the fear of talking to people, simply going to school, or for unknown reasons. I have terrible thoughts everyday and have no idea what it's like to be actually happy anymore. I try to force myself to do the things I used to like but nothing seems or is enjoyable and it normally makes me feel even more depressed. I'm so desperate to be fine, I've tried convincing myself that I am by faking laughter and smiles for 2 years and sometimes it actually helps. I don't feel as terrible but then I feel guilty for not feeling how someone with depression "should" feel, so I can hold onto something and just brush off the mess that I am onto a mental disorder. In going off on a tangent by saying this but I also constantly feel detached, like I'm outside my body. I have no idea who I am, which also doesn't help with depression. Another tangent is when I'm tired and awake I start to see things. It happens every now and then and are usually just blobs of random color but sometimes it's people and I hear my name being called which instantly brings me major anxiety. Anyways I always feel so empty and pathetic and depressed like living has no purpose. I can't trust talking to anyone in person, which makes me lie to many people including my therapist which puts me into a spot which I don't know how to get out. If I try to work things out I'm afraid of getting in trouble and I have a big fear of that as well. I've had so many doctor visits for physical/health issues to the point where no one has any idea what's wrong with me and I'm a walking mess. I never talk to anyone which makes me lonely but no one vet goes out of their way to say anything to me anyways so… But I mean I much prefer being alone. I don't have to deal with people, I just cry alone in my bed all day and try to feel fine. I constantly have a put in my stomach, a lurking feeling of dread and worthlessness which makes me feel sick and I call home a lot from school. Do you have any tips to help? I know it's really just a jumble of words smushed into a long, messy paragraph, but do you have any advice on how to take my mind off it because I've tried distracting myself with music and games but nothing ever feels fun or enjoyable so within the first few seconds of trying something "fun" I give up because I feel so depressed. ;-; So any words of advice or courage! I know you probably don't want to read this all but I'm posting it anyways

  55. For me, anxiety and depression become symptoms in themselves (I have BPD) your videos are amazing and I have taken to watching them most nights to re-assure myself that I am not alone, that someone does get it. You have far more courage than I, in terms of talking about it so openly. My whole family doesn't understand and they all start pointing fingers at each other and that just makes me worse…. It all seems to be about them all the time and yet they should realise that they have a duty of care towards me but they continue to do nothing. I have given up with them and pushed them out of my life pretty much completely (definition of splitting in a nutshell)

  56. youre an amazing person I really hope you know that, you dont know how much this is really needed for so many people. i connect with so much of what you say and i really hope that your support system is huge

  57. Hey ,thank you for this vid I'm only 3 days into diagnosis ,but your vids are helping me 😊😳😳😌😠🤗😚😍😗🙂🙂😆😉😋😐😍🎲

  58. It's ironic to say this as I self harm,but you are special you have done this for others,in a way we are freaks we are like the X men/we have normal gifts and we are better people than the ""so called normal world""you are a legend 😌😎😉😍🙄😑😆

  59. I had so many people who always judged or ashamed me when I'm depressed.. and I don't ever have any social support. I'm still ashamed

  60. You can tell that today she feels depressed. Her make up is a iffy, she’s quiet and the lighting isn’t great. But she still posted. She made the effort. And that’s all that matters. When you’re depressed that’s one of the hardest things. I’m so proud of you Claudia

  61. You did an amazing job at explaining depression. Like… wow. And whoever said you don't 'appear' depressed, that is cruel to say. It is common that depressed people appear much happier than they actually are.

  62. Honey all your symptoms are due to Candida albicans please look it up depression and other mental illness come from the gut …

  63. Depression is shit. Pretty much what you described. Especially being a teenager with depression and anxiety and having friends who suffer from it. Thanks for the videos they're really helpful.

  64. Most humans think that all other humans should feel exactly like they do. "I don't feel depressed so why does that person? They must be fine and they are just faking it. I feel perfect so they should too!" and that is about as intelligent as most people are on this topic. Even my doctor said things like "Life has it's problems and you just have to learn to cope." Wow, thanks doc. Why the fuck didn't I think of that? The worst thing of all about being really depressed is definitely the way you get treated by others. They feel fine so you should too, end of story. They literally think that if you are sad, you MUST have caused it yourself and because you caused it, you MUST be able to stop feeling that way. There is nothing that frustrates me more.

  65. I also want to comment on those little balls of poison we know as antidepressants. My advice to anyone out there who is considering using them is to try every other possibility before you ingest that poison. Antidepressants can actually cause extreme suicidal thoughts in some people and make things twice as bad as they already are. In other cases, they change the way the brain works so much that the person ends up not even recognizing themselves. I read an article recently called "Who am I after 10 years of antidepressants" and the woman who wrote it said she had no clue who she was any longer. The pills changed her neurochemistry so drastically that she became a different person and could barely remember who she used to be. The red flags went up for me when I realized how willing they are to give these things out to everyone. If the establishment wants us to have something that badly, it is 100% for sure that it is not good for us and will somehow make us more complacent and less of a problem for them. They also cause physical dependence and getting off of them can be pure hell. They are paranoid to give someone a percoset because "OH MY GOD, THEY MIGHT GET ADDICTED!!" and yet they have almost half of the population addicted to those stupid things. I have seen the withdrawal from them and it is not pretty at all. If they are your last hope then maybe you might want to try but it is a risk that I would never take. They can turn your life into the worst nightmare you ever imagined.

  66. For me it feels like I don't even exist its like I'm physically here but mentally I'm not. I feel empty so much that can't hardly cry anymore its like I'm emotionless I watch tv more than anything because its so distracting its like a numbness because its like I pretend I'm the character in the show or movie its like the show or movie is my reality which my autism probably plays a huge part in that it might sound rediculus but thats how it is for me

  67. I feel exhausted when I am depressed, and even small things like getting out of bed, taking a shower, or doing minor things around the house, seems like HUGE tasks that are basically impossible to do. I cry for no reason at all, I feel like life isn't worth living, I close myself off from basically everyone around me, and I spend a lot of time hating myself for not being able to just get over it and stop being a burden to the people I love the most. I sleep an extreme amount, and spend most of the rest of time watching shows or reading to escape the dark thoughts and the self hatred and the pain by immersing myself in a fictional universe. Yeah, basically everything you describe, minus the self-harming and suicide attempt. Thank you for making this video, I think you did an amazing job describing what it is like living with depression <3

  68. Claudia, now that you are fully aware of your bpd, would you still say that you are/have been depressed and that it isn't a part of your bpd? I really struggle with overlapping of them and am interested to hear your experiences.

  69. It's very interesting watching this after coming from your bpd videos. I've been doing research on all types of depression, bipolar and bpd for the past year because my depression and bipolar 2 diagnosis Never fit me perfectly. I'm now seeing a new therapist and we are discussing the possibility of bpd…
    I just wonder if now, when you look back at this, do you see that certain things you described are more linked to bpd? When you said even on a good day that darkness is always there, deep inside you. I resonate so much with that. Also having to keep yourself distracted otherwise your thoughts take over and turn dark. I just relate so much to those two things but always thought they were signs of something other than depression.

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