What It’s Like To Be In Love While Depressed ♡


They say no one will love you until you learn to love yourself. I once had a counselor tell me that I had to have my runway cleared for the right plane to safely land. And to that I say “Was the runway my vagina?” I don’t know what she really meant by that but what she was trying to say was no one will ever love you until you learn to love yourself. What if I never learn to love myself? What if I cannot clear the runaway before that plane can land? There are too many planes on this runway! Leave! I have to clear it so the right plane can land on my runway. and I say that there is too much baggage and too many people on this runway that I can’t clear it enough for this plane to actually land. As a teenager I really didn’t think I had a future. I never saw myself with a husband or even a boyfriend for that matter because I thought i could never learn to love myself My counselors would say “Learn to love yourself so someone else can love you.” And that terrified me because I knew I knew that I, I couldn’t love myself enough for someone else to love me I was certain that I would never be in a relationship. Boy, was I wrong? I still don’t know how to love myself but in February, 2014 a boy told me he loved me …and I kissed him and I said: ‘Say it again.’ and he did And I said: ‘Say it again!’ and he did. And I said: ‘Say it again!’ and he laughed at me but I was just like, I was so amazed that someone could actually love me. And I said: ‘Say it again!’ and he hasn’t stopped saying it for over a year but I still tell him: ‘Say it again.’ ‘Cause I wanna hear it, I wanna hear out of his mouth ’cause people told me no one can ever love me because I don’t love myself because I am depressed. I have dealt with the pressure since I was in 8th grade.

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Comments

  1. Your videos are honestly so incredibly helpful and educative and I'm so glad that you make the effort for us! Thank you so much 💝

  2. it really helps me because i have a awesome bf that makes me feel like i matter and he is the only reason why im still alive

  3. This video just gave me the sudden urge to text all my friends and tell them about my depression. I’ve been trying to tell them for months. I think I’m gonna go do that, thank you for the motivation.

  4. I can't stop crying

    You just made me realize i still have hope somewhere because if I would feel like this for ever I won't continue living but I do so I guess I think I'll get better someday c:

  5. I wish somebody, anybody .. would say just for once "I'll never give up on you" .. I hope since 28 years, but here I am.. no family, no friends.. alone

  6. I know people like that if i ever said how i like a if i ever had girl who said nobody likes me i would say ya i don't like you because i love you

  7. I melt…I will play this video everytime when I would be afraid of my “sick” and I would be afraid that maybe ruin my relationship
    Srry…for mistakes I am Czech

  8. Why am i crying rnnnn. I just feel this on such a personal level bc i go through this. I felt like i had no future. I felt nobody could ever love me bc i couldn't even love myself. I always think my bf is going to leave bc i get so upset so often and there are days when i act like idc bc i think he's going to leave soon so i ignore him. Yet, he stays. No matter what my mood is, he stays bc he knows that i get upset a lot and i think alot, I'm depressed a lot. He tells me everyday he loves me repeatedly and how im the best thing in his life and a whole bunch of other cute things. He always asks me at the end of the day if im happy too and if im not he'll stay up and talk to me until i am, no matter what he has to do the next day. If anything, after the 9 months that have went by so far, the love has grown stronger. So for the ppl who think they won't have a future, especially with another human being, just know that it's possible. Someone is out there in the most inconvenient place, waiting for you to walk into their life so that they can love you. Don't give up ❤

  9. i hope i'll find someone who loves me that much :') this made me really hopeful, i'm not depressed but i have hard time with being intimate with someone and i'm scared of falling in love 🙁

  10. I had someone who I thought really understood me and all of my issues. I was legitimately in love with her and I gave her everything I had. I thought I had found the one. We cared about each other and would talk into the late hours of the night every night. We really clicked. A year and a half later she has just turned into more baggage on my runway.

  11. You are awesome. My gf of 3 years left me recently. She was diagnosed with depression 1.5 years ago. I loved every ounce of her mind, body and soul. I didnt care about her depression or flaws or whatever they are. I loved her for her. I would reaffirm her that I love her and that's shes beautiful, but she would tell me she doesnt believe it.

    Ultimately, she left me saying she was exhausted and abandoned me. I still love her. She said she needed to find happiness, without me.

    I feel hopeless. Her depression wont stop me from supporting her. I will keep fighting for her even though she has given up on me. Thank you for this video.

  12. I’m in a relationship and I literally hate myself. She’s so amazing and supportive and my world the only reason I live. Depression doesn’t stop you from dating and being in a relationship.

  13. My ex left me because she suffers from depression too, and we always argued because she thinks that I was cheating on her, I got frustrated at her, I just wished that I've watched this video earlier. I still love her so much that I'll do whatever it takes to have her back, but she just refused to deal with this anymore.

  14. Video made me feel a bit better. Have had depression since I was 6 years old and fought hard to stay alive. Just told someone that I've known for 10 years that I loved him. Doesn't share my feelings, but I'm fighting for him.

  15. this sounds like a beautiful wattpad story. also sort of reminds me of Chloe and Max from Life is Strange

  16. 1:40 seconds into this video and tears start running down my face. Thanks you for this. I need it. Thank you so much

  17. For me its just wondering why would anyone love me, you know like why me. Im broken and a mess and i feel like im never going to be enough for someone, he makes me happy but no one can ever cure me the sadness is always there and always has been.

  18. Ive also been depressed since i was a teen. You dont see any magic special boy showing up for me. 26 years old and just as lonely and self loathing as i was in high school.

  19. I have a boyfriend of 3 + 1/2 months but I'm almost certain I have depression and I'm really struggling and I literally don't have the will to do anything anymore but he's so kind and loving and he's amazing but it's not fair on him, he doesn't know and I'm just quiet and sad all the time

  20. I thought your video was truly inspiring. It reminded me of this guy who told me He was startin to get feelings for me. Then 5 mins later He accuses me for being on drugs, cause I was in spent too much time in the bathroom. I had many thoughts in my head at that moment..thinkin did He really have feelings for me..and I was goin through Klonopin withdrawals but was too embarassed to explain it. To make a long story short. It got to the point where I went to Buy a d test.I told him I Will hand you it..and then took off.

  21. Your video touches my heart, I feel like I have depression right now I’m in a point in my life where I feel like I’m failing or breaking down to my boiling point. I recently moved from away from Hawaii which will always be my home to California. Me and my girlfriend at the time were together for 2 years and we ended up living together for about 6-7 months and then we ended up breaking up for 2 months. We got back together last month in July and were doing long distance now. She’s still in love with me and I’m still in love with her and we both have goals to be married with eachother and have our future together. I’m not liking it up here i. California anymore and it’s only been 6 weeks since I’ve been here. I’ve been holed up in my room constantly thinking about her, how much I miss her, how much I wish we didn’t break up the first time because me moving here was a way for me to try and get over her but now were back together and I miss her more than ever. I’m thinking of Joining the Navy so I can become stable and work on my own personal issues so I can go back home and be with her. This is where I need help and advice, How do I show her that I can be strong and that I know were going to be back with eachother before I know it? How do I help myself think of what’s best for me to get better and not live my life according to her? I love her so much and I know she loves me but my depression is so much stronger is because I miss her too much. How do I over come this depression alot easier? If anyone can see this and can help me I would love that so much. Thank you.

  22. Me again I just wanna say even though I never met you it makes me happy to know your happy idk why I just love knowing people are happy..my ex had depression and she would abuse me I tried staying with her but when she found out I had depression she gave up on me in a matter of seconds and at this very moment my friend that I love and I'll admit that to her if she asked me she makes me happy and she makes me smile and I make her smile but I am scared just like you said I'm scared I'm gonna stuff up and ruin our friend ship I was so close to asking her out but I ended up being the mpc criying and…she found me needed down in front of me and hugged me and let me cry idk if she loves me or not if were just friends forever she's somone I don t want to Get rid of or push away…but I feel like I do every day

  23. After watching this, I called my girlfriend (who's going through a depressed episode right now) to check up on her and tell her I love her. Except she doesn't really respond much – and it tears me up to hear how apathetic she is towards me even though we're together. I guess depression is different for everybody since she doesn't seem to care at all

  24. Thank you for that amazing video my girlfriend is currently going through depression and I love her so much, but she keeps pushing me away deep down I know she loves me coz the one time I actually walked away she came back and told me how much she loves me and misses me, I'm trying to learn how to make her happy and how to work through this with her it's really hard because I've never dealt with anyone like this before…but I do love her so much I would do anything to make her happy and to keep her happy..

  25. Kristen, I wanted to hug you too. Very emotional to watch, I have just been befriended by a man who I think the world of and he suffers depression, he treats me like a Queen, so caring. You have made me understand what is going on. THANK YOU!

  26. I'm honestly in tears because this is so accurate! With depression, relationships can be so hard to deal with, but it's possible to make them work and to find someone who truely cares! I love your channel so much! Please keep going, you're so inspirational^^

  27. I dont know where your at now with your depression now and im sure you have tried different methods to control it… but if you are still struggling…have you tried hormone replacement therapy? I am a male and just started testosterone replacement and felt a little better after my first shot…better than meds for me…I need a few more shots before I get more of the effect but I am hopeful….I since have learned about HRT for women and saw success stories with it…hope your ok!

  28. Ive been depressed alot . Infact most of my life. Im 42 yrs old with bad depression and my girlfriend says shes inlove with me and i just think why is she in love with me im a looser and a dislexic cabbage who shud be in A grave. I hate me. Why does she love me.

  29. My gf has depression, I love her but she broke up with me yesterday that she thinks she doesn’t deserve me. In reality I need her as much she needs me. If we ever get back together, I want to take care of her for the rest of her life

  30. Halfway through the video, I started texting my partner letting them know how much I love them
    They have incredible self-loathing and I always want to be there for them
    This made me so very emotional
    Thank you

  31. IF YOU GUYS DON'T GET MARRIED SOMEDAY I AM GONNA CRY FOR REAL. This 😟😭 this is so beautiful… It is something I HOPE to find one day. 🙁💕

    Best wishes to both of you

  32. I opened up with my girlfriend of 9 months about my struggle with depression because we're growing closer. She can't understand what depression is like because she has never had those feelings. She was very supportive but also extremely worried and cried. I hated to see her so worried and felt like such a burden. I couldn't help but downplay my problem to calm her down. Now I feel terrible for lying to her and making it seem like a minor issue for me while it is not.

  33. can someone tell me my friend tell me that she have deppresion she even tell everyone and screenshot some quiz that show if u have deppresion and show it online does that count as deppresion ?

  34. damn. Does it really work out this well for some people? I cant imagine putting that much faith or hope into one person… but I used to

  35. This is beautiful. I was going out with a depressed girl, and broke up with her. I realized how big a mistake it was and began studying depression and relationships. I am so caring towards her now and she reaches out to me alot. She has alot on her plate right now in terms of money, school, and what she is going to do with her life. I believe that soon we will be back together. I mean I am her mountain. When she contacts me because she has been in bed all day I pick her up to get something to eat. When she is upset about not being able to find work I bring her out to pass out resumes and watch her favorite show with her. I will sit with her and just not say anything as well. I tell her she is not alone, and how strong she is. I want to believe that these acts of compassion and kindness will bring us back together, but another side of me says I am being too available and that will cause her to lose attraction towards me. What are your thoughts?

  36. This is beautiful! This love and understanding Kristen is enthusiastically and joyfully explaining is rare, and can lead some to fall into a more depressive state waiting and hoping for someone to rescue them. I wish this happiness on us all, but not all of us will be so lucky. The best we can do is pick ourselves up when we have the strength and moments of clarity and try to engage in the world in order to diminish a life alone. Also, hearing this praise for such a wonderful guy from a depressed person kind of scares me. What happens if or when this guy (or your guy or gal) moves on, goes through a low period in their life, gets tired of it, has a life changing experience, hits a mid-life crisis, starts reevaluating life, or whatever? This is a pretty huge "high" to experience that just might be knocked down by life. It's not sustainable.

    Not trolling, and it sounds like Kristen is more celebrating a time of rapture. So not trying to put out the flames. But as an older guy, it gets harder as you get older (not just saying 80. But 20 to 30, 30 to 40, etc.), because people judge you and have very limited time. The judging part sucks. But the limited time factor is very real, and almost understandable. We have families, work, hobbies, and a system we follow. If we can't find a way to add value to someone's life and fit into one of those existing categories (the new person in the cubby at work, a fellow student in photography class) And as we all naturally deteriorate people will do their evaluation on us and subconsciously ask themselves, is this person worth making room for in my life?

  37. Holy moley. This impassioned rant… i appreciate every word of it 🌟 you made me cry but in a hopeful way. Ive been alone so long working on my “self love” because i was told soany times, that same line… but I realize its bullshit. Self love only gets you so far… true healing and true support for this disease has to come from other people (and dogs ❤️) i hope you know how lucky you are, how rare it is to find someone who allows… who stays…. 🙏🙏🙏

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