What They Don’t Tell You About Depression

So today I’m gonna talk a little bit
about mental health, particularly depression. I haven’t scripted anything for this like I
normally do for my videos. I don’t even really know exactly what I’m gonna talk about, but I’m going to speak from my own personal experience . Talking about mental health is something that’s really important to me. I do it a lot on my blog but I realized I haven’t really talked about it that much on this channel. So if you don’t follow me on tumblr or other social media then you’re totally missing out on what I think is a really important discussion. On my blog I tag everything, ever, so I’m gonna go through my depression tag and see what I posted in the last couple months to help explain what depression feels like to me personally, a little bit better. Got no sleep, cried for an hour, and skipped two of my classes and it’s not even 1 p.m. yet. Smiley face. Depression and anxiety are
cool because they make you the flakiest person ever. Has insomnia because of depression,
skips class because of exhaustion, feels like shit for skipping class, repeat. I’d say that’s a pretty good description of depression. I like how I’m going through my own blog and just being like, “Oh my God, so true.” I also made a little shitty cartoon on my iPad. Not an artist, by any means. But it kind of helped me figure out my own emotions, and it was productive, which, I find, doing little productive things and creating something actually helps when I’m depressed a lot. I’ve talked about all of these symptoms in the past, in one of my videos, I think over a year ago, and I think it’s actually my most popular video. It’s called, “I didn’t know I had depression” because I didn’t know I had depression. I made that exact same joke in that video, by the way. I’m just being honest here because you might watch the video, you might not, and you’re gonna be like, “Man
she makes the same jokes all the time.” And I’m just gonna be like, “Yeah, I do.” Something I actually wanted to address in that video was the end where I gave a very uplifting and optimistic message. I don’t really think I gave a full picture of what receiving treatment is like. At the end of the video kind of made it seem like I had been fixed and magically cured from depression, which at the time I thought was true. I’d just started taking a new medication a couple months before filming the video, and I was in an upswing. I was feeling pretty damn good. The thing that no one ever told me about depression was that even if you go get treatment, and start feeling a lot better, you’re not going to be magically cured. Depression is an ongoing struggle, and for a lot of people it’s something that they’re gonna be struggling with for a lot of, if not most of, their lives. With this kind of depression, even if you take medication or seek some kind of treatment that works for you, you’re probably still gonna have highs and lows. I didn’t know this at the time, but it’s actually pretty common for people to go through periods of relapse with their depression. I don’t know if relapse is the best word to use here, I can’t really think of a better term. And I’m not knocking medication and therapy, because I think those things are extremely important. And even though they probably aren’t
gonna work right off the bat, you might have to work to find a therapist that, you know, works for you. You might have to go through several different types of medication with different dosages until you finally find the right one, but
I think in most cases they can be super helpful. However, I want to note that even though I think it’s always a good idea to get diagnosed if you have the ability to, I also recognize that I’m really fucking privileged. I have access to health insurance and I can see a psychiatrist who can
prescribe me medication. I’m over the age of 18, and I didn’t have parents who tried to dismiss mental illness or pretend that it doesn’t exist. A lot of people try and pretend that
mental illness isn’t legitimate. They’ll say that they’re overreacting or
making a big deal out of it, or they’re just lazy and need to
work harder to be happy. And I’m sorry, but if you’ve experienced
depression you know that that is bullshit. Shaming people for their mental health
issues, or telling them that their experiences aren’t valid is only gonna make it worse, especially
since there seems to be this idea that, you know, teenagers are diagnosing themselves and they’re pretending to have all these mental health issues, you now, to be cool. Which I don’t really
get because I don’t know what’s fucking cool about being anxious and depressed every day of your life… but, whatever. It’s kind of this idea that there’s a hierarchy between real mental health issues and fake mental health issues. A lot of people with depression and
anxiety, and probably other mental disorders that I’m not familiar with because I don’t experience them… They feel that their mental health
issues aren’t bad enough to warrant seeing a doctor. You know what prevents people from going to the doctor and getting diagnosed? Telling them that they’re overreacting
or that their mental illness isn’t bad enough. There are a lot of problematic and scary
narratives that surround oppression and the way we talk about mental health. On one end of the spectrum we’re telling
people that they’re overreacting with their mental illness, and we invalidate their experiences. And
on the other end were telling people that if they just, you know, get diagnosed and talk to a doctor and take medication, they’re gonna be magically fixed. Which is not only a really privileged
perspective to have, but it’s really upsetting if you’re a person who believes this, and then find out that’s not the case. I know when I started relapsing and getting depressed again, I felt ashamed and let down. I thought this was something I didn’t have to deal with any more, and it only made those feelings of
depression worse. Basically, not everyone experiences depression and other mental illnesses the same way. If you do you seek treatment, it’s not
always gonna work 100 percent of the time. And eat your fruits and vegetables, man. if you’ve experienced similar things, please let me know in the comments. If you have a different experience with
mental illness altogether, also share that with me because I’m interested in hearing your perspective.

About the author


  1. I can't thank you enough! This is honestly basically tone of the only videos I can relate to. Really appreciated I Didn't Know I Had Depression. Love it when you said other people knew I was depressed before we did. So true….I look back and think how obvious. Things are getting better!

  2. you encouraged us to share our thoughts and experiences on the subject, so here's my little story.

    my mother and I both experience anxiety,ADHD/ADD, and depression. but like you said, we all experience it in different ways- she wont believe this. she automatically assumes that everything she dealt with ( as far as those things go ) applies to me, and only that. honestly it makes me feel like i oversell things because i don't have depression as badly as she does ( i dont think? we both hide it pretty damn well ) but i have anxiety and add/adhd much worse than she does and have a horrible time dealing with this.

    being told it's not that bad, or it could be worse, sucks. but its horrible when someone with the same conditions of a different variant says that or assumes theirs is worse without listening.

    but then again, she hides it, so how would i know? until it flares up her Chron's disease.

    ( let's not assume we both have ptsd from a previous situation with my dad, but that story is for another day )

  3. My mother's boyfriend thinks I am just lazy and treats me as subhuman as a result (he has for two and a half years). Its interfered with my ability to attend college and maintain stable employment. I don't hate, but strongly dislike him. He mistreats other people too, has a narrow world view, devalues women in general, is narcissistic, insensitive and hypocritical. Wow, I only truly realized to what degree he upset me or exactly how I felt until writing it out.

  4. Another thing that prevents some people from seeking help is the embarrassment of having a mental illness. Being made fun of. Being treated like less of a person etc.

  5. The Mindful Way Through Depression
    was very helpful book for understanding
    depression .

    It helped me not to blame myself .

  6. I can relate to everything. particularly the part about getting help because I don't feel like my feelings are valid and because of the cultures surrounding depression.

  7. I don't have many friends or people around me who understand what I deal with, I constantly put myself down about my inability to do things that I consider "normal" people do everyday. Thank you for speaking about this misunderstood topic, it's already evening and now I'm actually going to get out of bed because I don't feel as alone and as ashamed of myself. Thank you for helping my day get a little better 🙂

  8. my dad always tell me ti get over it and suck it up ….im in high school i have a lot of friends and all but in the past couple of monthes i just cant be happy i always want to stay in bed and just feeling sad all the time i always carry that feeling that im not myself and feel like sometimes i say things that were unlikely to me to say i just realy dont know what to do

  9. Great video, really insightful and helpful! To the millions of sufferers just like myself, I just posted a video on How To Fight Depression, please click on the link:


    We really want to help as many people as possible and as depression can be a frightening condition. Don't be frightened and suffer alone, let's build a community where we can share ideas and advice with each other to help rid people of this debilitating condition. Hope the video helps! Please leave a comment and I would love to get back to you! Thank you

  10. I am relapsing on my depression right now . I got off of my medication and I did pretty ok for a year or two, but now I'm hitting another really deep low. And I feel that shame that you talked about.

  11. My mom struggled with depression when she was my age and yet she thinks all I need is a different attitude
    When I finally convinced her to let me see a doctor, she decided one appointment would be enough to help me feel better.

  12. depression is like quitting smoking for me. You just have to ignore it until the bouts with emotions are over and then put up blinders to the fact that you even have a (life-long) problem.

  13. What medication did you take that made you feel better ? I'd love to try it because I've tried 6 different medications for depression & anxiety and nothing helped , I've had depression and anxiety for 9 years now . So I'd love to know what you tried ? Even if it helps just for a few weeks

  14. I skip classes because I feel too tired to go, and my anxiety makes my stomach hurt so much. I'm on medicine for my depression, it kinda helps but i've only been on it for about a week. I'm diagnosed. I hate it. So much. UGH

  15. I have depersonalisation, which is an out of body sort of experience. It is like living in a perpetual dream state, everything is surreal and misleading. A lot of people describe it as watching your life through a screen. I also have trichotillamania and Dermatillomania, these are types of OCD where I tear out my hair (trichotillamania) and or I scratch at and pick my skin. (Dermatillomania). So, there are some new disorders for you.

  16. I have suffered from depression since a young age, I have extreme lows and periods of "highs" this problem is definitely very debilitating for sure and after a little while it gets soo so exhausting and that feeling of "I am never gonna be okay" hangs over your shoulders very heavy indeed. I hope you get the help you need and find some release to your depression . Good luck .

  17. The therapist told me I'm choosing to be depressed and that confused me. Why would anyone want to feel like this?

  18. You may or may not realise it but these kind of videos that promote discussion in regards to mental health are hugely positive and beneficial, thank you so much and keep it up 🙂

  19. I relate to this a lot. My parents don't believe that I have it and they say I'm just being over dramatic. Even though they've seen me starve myself, they've seen me cut, and they've seen me have panic attacks. They say it's all in my head. It sucks because I have no one to talk to either

  20. Going to the gp on Monday, idol if I want to be told I have it or not… I feel like if I have it I'll be stuck this way for life if I do but I feel like if I don't I'm just a shitty person who deserves to feel depressed.

  21. I really like what you had to say regarding the stigma attached to depression, how people act like it's not a real illness.

  22. "kids are diagnosing themselves because they think it's cool."

    this is true, but…there's a line between what is talking about depression, feeling through it etc. and what is glamorizing it, and I find that hard to differentiate lately.

    Like that second tweet you posted at the start, even though it's coated in irony, I can't help but see, like, a nugget of faux-glamour in it. @sosadtoday on Twitter is a huge one for this too.

    And while I'll always advocate for action and talking, it's really worrying how (inadvertently) these things can spawn ignorance. Being called 'So Sad Today' is kind of proof.

  23. YEP! Depression and anxiety do make me really flaky! I made a video about my own issues. I relate to the medication/treatment issue. I mean I thought I was magically cured but nope! Not at all. Thank you for sharing, it is good to hear someone with similar troubles.

  24. I've felt like dying for over a year, but my parents don't care/ believe in mental illness. I'm just waiting to turn 18 so I can get a diagnosis

  25. I´m most of the time in a 'normal' mode. So, I can´t honestly tell if I need help or not. But often, when it gets really bad, I feel like I should talk to someone professionell. And why? Because I want to stay alive for my dog. I guess I´m just not made for this world.

  26. I am not legally an adult, any advice on how to talk to a parent on finding out whether I have a mental illness/disorder.

  27. Anxiety and depression relentlessly. Initially I had social anxiety issues as a child and got a lot of criticism from everyone – everyone: parents, family, teachers, counselors, friends-so-called. Everyone. By the time I was in my 20s and I'd realised that I wasn't an evil person as all of them made me out to be, just because I was afraid to leave the house, I was already suffering from depression because of the way I'd been treated and the fact that I couldn't enjoy life due to my fear of people. And now it's too late.

    Meeting people who never understand and just like to kick me when I'm down is something that happens all the time. I try to put on a smile at work, because I don't need to be hassled, but it's a struggle and I'm dying inside because of it. It's hard to lie 8 hours a day, year in year out. People always try to offer 'cures' because after mulling it over for 8 seconds they believe they figured out something that I couldn't figure out in 30 years. Idiots.

    My experience isn't a story with an arc. It's a continuous downward trajectory.

  28. I am 42 years old, I have been suffering from depression since I was a teenager. I, just 3 months ago, started taking antidepressants. I can't believe how much better I feel now. I wish I had done this decades ago. I self medicated for a while, mostly booze and pot, but also the occasional prescription drug, but of course that didn't really help.

    One of the most striking things I've noticed, is that, you know how when you're depressed, you fixate on the things that make you feel down, and you can't stop thinking about them? Well, now I can. If I start thinking about something that makes me sad, I can actually start thinking of other things. It's amazing.

  29. I can relate to feelings of frustration when it comes to starting medications and they make you feel better and you believe that your cured, just to be proven wrong, by yourself, and have another episode. I struggle with bipolar disorder, and my doctor knows that I do, but he's been spending the last six months confused about which type I have. If your interested in knowing the different types or want to know more about bipolar disorder I can further explain it; but there's so much info and I don't believe I can fit it all into this one comment. But I have episodes constantly because the medications I have taken all eventually start to wear off due to my body building up a tolerance, and there for, completely rejecting the medication. I am rarely unaffected by this illness. I am either hypo manic (which eventually builds into a psychotic episode), severely depressed and become a danger to myself, or experiencing a mixture between mania and depression known as a mixed episode.

  30. I had pretty bad depression and even worse anxiety couple of years ago, but it ended up being the prodromal phase of schizophrenia. It sucks hard.

  31. I have a nasty depression/anxiety combo strongly tied to my menstrual cycle, so I was diagnosed with PMDD two years ago. I'm taking pretty much the lowest dosage of hormonal birth control available and it evens out my moods so I'm able to function for the whole month with bad days and weeks every so often instead of contemplating suicide and being unable to smile for weeks straight. Unfortunately I'm in a bad week right now (it's my own fault because I forgot to take it for three days), but my life is sooo much better than when I wasn't taking it.

  32. I have depression… I want to get help and get diagnosed but I can't tell my mom because she wouldn't understand, I know because I've heard her talk about people that have depression and how she doesn't get it. I can't tell her because I know she'll say "you'll get over it" or something like that. I've taken quizzes from Doctor ran websites and all of them say I have it and need to get help and take medication, but like I said that's my problem and I can't because of my mom.

  33. What they don't tell you is there is no real comprehensive template for recovery from severe/prolonged clinical depression .

  34. I didn't know that I had depression until my family doctor noticed that I was acting depressed. It was news to me because I didn't feel depressed. After several tests it was confirmed. What was also interesting is that the tests revealed that I also have ADHD which explained a lot of things in my past. ADHD is something that usually develops when you're an adolescent, and I'm far from being an adolescent.

  35. It sucks having to fight ur own mind every single day and wake up in the morning and just say "here we go again" so I think that it's stupid that people fake self harm and depression and anxiety and even eating disorders be I am legit am fighting it all

  36. Want to know what's worse then parents who neglect their childs mental health issues? It's parents who, when you try to tell them your problems, they threaten to kick you (The child) out of the house and live in an asylum full of people you don't know and chances are you won't be comfortable with, you're only 12 years old, and that's nowhere near their worst side. Oh, and if you're wondering why I'm saying this on YouTube and not telling my problems to my parents? Take a wild fucking guess.

  37. I have schizoaffective disorder bipolar type so depression and anxiety are a part of my mood swings. I can definitely attest to the fact that even if you are stabilized on medicine and in therapy you will still have troubles. it takes a lot of self-awareness and knowing your symptoms and using coping skills (for real yes you do need to eat your vegetables! ) and knowing how to deal with things to really rise above the challenges. There are good and bad days, always. I mean I just called in sick today. I just couldn't go in.
    but anyway I follow your blog too. good luck with everything. (your hair and makeup in this video were on fleek BTW and yes I said on fleek)

  38. I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety and I'm waiting for my appointment in the psychologist but I'm getting very frustrated. I'm taking my meds for two months now and I still keep feeling worse instead of better.

  39. im supost to be a kid friendly youtuber but.. i really Really try So fricken hard to not even cuss just for that. but the past year or this year i just started cussing… but this video reminds me of a conversation that happened this month. i had a friend that is a girl. i dont know if she did have real depression and such and she i guess use to Cut which i never seen real proof like i never seen any scars. so. that day she just blurted out a msg about it. im not gonna send it ima just like point out stuff that it said (lets call my friend bree cause its close to her real name.) bree: You should be f-ing happy that your clothed, have food and more. Theres f-ing Homeless people and starving people and everything and you are just thinking of yourself. thats mostly what she said. and i said: wtc (What the crap, i made my own wtf xDD) you dont fricken know what ive been thru Bree: oh being told to get off the computer by your parents and being forced off? Yeah. greattt escuse. me: WTC thats not what i ment!!. And she sent me a cutting video and i dont fricken understand. first off… SHUTUP IF YOU THINK SOMEONE HAS DEPRESSTION DONT FRICKEN BLURT IT OUT AND SAY LIKE: ohh stop complaining like a stupid female dog (inter the b word..) AND FRICKEN JUST HELP THEM. i had like a mr Stupid and meany and mf this year and lastyear i think and they just were like syber bullying me. i just went on with it. meny days happened where i still roleplayed with them and just cried with my mic muted. they like 90% of the calls they just yell and everything. everytime i hear or find out there was a fight i could of helped i feel useless cause i couldnt fix it. i had a friend. lets call him pb cause he loves penut butter, And this year like a month ago or so he had a break up/friend-break-up and when i heard out i was heart broken. i wanted to cry sooo badly but i just didnt.like just the past week i shed 1 tear infrunt of a video call and i felt stupid.. Useless.. broken cause i just hate knowing that people have seen me cry. so. if some one has like depression or anything. talk with them. be nice. dont try to say any negitivity. Speak Life instead of death….. the 3 friends that i said earlier. mr Stupid, meany and mf. they were speaking death inside me. last week at church we were talking about speaking life into people other then death.and that really reminded me about stuff that happened. lots of people speak death inside of people. have you ever heard of the video by amanda. i forget her lastname but her name was amanda and she made a card Depression video. and about a week or 5 days later after that video was updated. she died… so just everyone. if you think your friends have depression. Speak life. Instead of Death… be kind.. instead of mean.. be caring.. instead of Hating….. be… Happy. and live on. never let anyone bring you down. just make sure that. we all care for you. even if we dont know you. last year i thought i had major depression. but this year i watched a video about the back story on sans in undertale and game theorist was talking about the simtons of depression. Major. depression. i… only fitted into like 3. or less. so..everytime when im cursing in my head, wanting to die. i always remember about my channel, friends, family, boyfriend and just everyone in the world. if i wasnt here. my friend Pb wouldnt be happy. he would be depressed. bree.. idk what she would do. the 3 evil boys would be bullys on the internet.. and just everything wouldnt be the same in this. im going to just say some quotes from some youtubers: Smile more -Rowanatwood and im glad for your egsistence -Mithzan (idk how to spell the word.) stay awesome bros. BAIIIII -PEWWWDIEPAIE stay happy. love. caring. nice. not mean, stupid, suicidal.. stay positive -me…… and thats all.. bye………. i should reaaaallly sleep xDD -star

  40. my mom wont take me to therapy anymore….things are becoming worst and worst…. i know we cant aford it from my moms medical bills..but..this is something that might help me and….and she just wont help me

  41. It would be good if someone could put together a folder of the videos on YouTube about depression so they are all in one place……oh, I did that. In the playlist on my channel. Two whole folders of vids looking at depression from all angles. Thanks

  42. So I have depression, and I don't want the medication that my doctor is offering, I won't wanna depend on some pills for me to not try to kill myself, I don't want to feel broken

  43. Thank you agian, im 26 Yo myself and suffer from a very very bad depression right now. Im at it like 4 months now. Sleeping at 6 o clock in the morning an Waking up at 4 in the afternoon Not wanting to get out. Im a man and i dont know why but i dont cry i cant. Im Not seeing my friends right now im Not werking right now im Trying to get up and walk Outside but i get anxiety and give up bassickly. I am blond with bleu eyes and i hear alot that im to handsome to get depressed. Well im ugly inside so what gives. Agian Thanks to u i feel inpowerd big hug u are a hero

  44. so I'm like 15 and I've been feeling depressed since I was about 11 and my parents were commenting that I was depressed and I wanted to tell them that I was and I wanted there help, but it sounded like they were joking so I didn't. They also say that I'm crazy and should talk to some one but again in a joking way. It has gotten really bad, so bad that I have thought about suicide, but I'm home schooled and I have no friends to talk to, and even though my parents seem like they care, I don't think they would understand and I don't want to bother them. I just don't know what to do…

  45. I am sooo thankful that after 30 years of this I've had a strong support around me. it's crippled me to the point I can't work, so i FINALLY got help. Sooo hard to come out about this. I told my counselor I need to man up more or something, she said that's all ive BEEN doing, and asked me how it's working for me. I told her she had a good point. Men? Excuse the curse word, but get some fkng help!

  46. I'm 12 and I'm pretty sure I'm depressed, I've been like that for about 6 years. "No on ever listens so why bother talking?" and "Everyone has it worse that me…" are thoughts I have a lot. I always have trouble sleeping, I cry before going to sleep, and you'll find me on the edge of insanity every night., As well as trying to stay away from sharp objects. Only one of my friends knows I might be depressed, yet she's done nothing about it except say "That sucks" and then leaving…

  47. I got depressed about 1 year ago and I ignored it for 5 months then it got realy bad I could not bare myself to leave my room ,I cried myself to sleep and if I didn't cry I was num I got help and it worked but i think I am having an relapse 😔

  48. It sucks tho that u can't get help in Saudi Arabia no phsycologist no nothing why? Well because in here people think that if ur depressed or suicidal u just want attention and if u tell anyone their just like : it's forbidden in Islam to self harm or commit suicide ? And millions of millions of muslims commitied suicide because they couldn't get help and it got even worse so I can't get diagnosed

  49. I am diagnosed with depression about 7 years ago and anxiety 2 years ago. Now, I took a huge step of making an appointment with my doctor to see if he could get a psychiatrist to investigate if I have DID (dissociative identity disorder). Most people think this mental illness isn't real, and having a lot of things, both physical and psychological, wrong with me this really keeps me up at night…

  50. My mother once said that I got "cought" depression from my sister – who was depressed before I was – out of talking with her so much. Lines like this make me so angry and to realize that she has no idea what I'm dealing with. If you have parents like this just ignore them! They do no good to you what so ever!

  51. I've tried getting help. it worked for awhile, but then stopped. I didn't have medication, but I did talk to someone. It was basically useless. I've lost my will to even ask for help. I've lost my will to live.

  52. Mental health needs to be taught in schools because people are SEVERELY misunderstanding what it is, how to spot it and so many other issues such as believing you can be cured for life, you choose to feel sad/happy/whatever related to your mental illness, or that it just isn't real.

  53. I have depression and anxiety I am not yet diagnosed but I am working on becoming diagnosed. I have had depression for many years but it has been ignored by others. When I finally realized that what I was expecting was depression, about a year ago, i didn't seek help out of fear of being judged, miss underused, and ignored.

  54. so id like to say that i feel like ive been depressed for so long and just noticed recently. I'm not diagnosing myslef, i have no reason and im not a professional, can a school counselor help? i want to tell my parents, but i cant. i feel like they r the source of it all. i told my friend how i was feeling and she said that she had it before and it just went away. i no that wont b the case for me. help anybody?

  55. My dad saw my cuts from a while ago and told me I could go see a therapist but I don't want to go because I have to tell someone why I'm sad all the time for months but idk why I am sad all the time :/

  56. my parents told me I am just oversensitive I decided not to tell her again or get treatment since she didn't believe me nd ended up with three suicide attempts nd cutting as a coping mechanism. my boyfriend helps me nd has made me stop attempting suicide nd I haven't cut in a couple weeks

  57. Thank you for this video!! It's really relatable! It's the 2nd time I'm getting down again and had to change/increase the dose of the medication, and I was feeling ashamed cause I was supposed to be getting better, and blamed myself for getting worse again…I thought the same as you did the first time, I thought that the first time I started taking medication everything would be solved…thank you for this video, It's good to know I'm not alone 🙂

  58. Medication….. ugh. I started seeing psychiatrists when I was 9 for depression, anxiety, panic attacks, and OCD, most of which I had experienced since nursery school. I'm on Vybriid now. Since being a kid I've taken at one point or another Paxil (from ages 11 to 24), Wellbutrin, Prozac, Effexor XR, Zoloft, Luvox, Pamelor, Lithoum, Xanax, Klonopin, Lithium, Xanax, Ambien, (the last three before I even wore a bra and I was not a late bloomer), Adderall, Lamictal, Subutex, Ativan, Dotepin, Zyprexa or some other weird bipolar drug that messed with my head, and more I can't remember right now and also many of these things were combined or if I had a side effect from A they gave me B and for the side effect from B they gave me C etc so the ones I mentioned like antipsychotics were in high doses for sleep but made me fat and sluggish so let's put some Provigil to get motivated which is for work shift disorder and other off-label crap which never worked. Not a one of these meds ever helped my depression. Of course the benzos calmed my panic in the beginning but those are awful. The thing about antidepressants is that even if they don't work, some (most?) of them will make you depressed while getting off of them because your brain is used to the extra boost of serotonin, neureprinephran (I spelled that wrong), etc. and now you don't have that. Things I wish I knew that psychiatrists did not tell me: 1. It is very hard to withdraw from certain medications, especially if you're sensitive to dose changes, etc. Every morning after a night I forgot to take my Paxil before sleeping I would lift my head and know immediately I hadn't taken it because my head did not feel attached to the rest of my body and I was flu-ish. Effexor was the same. Both gave me flu symptoms for over six months while I was getting off of them. Benzodiazepine withdrawal can actually kill you, and you can have seizures up to 6 weeks after stopping the medication. Vybriid has been the worst. When I forget to take it or if I take it on an empty stomach or if I tried to titrate down I would have different degrees of "brain zaps" lasting different amounts of time and a couple of times had spontaneous sleep paralysis like really tired out of nowhere and all the sudden I can't move at all and I'm having auditory hallucinations. So they didn't mention that, no. 2. That therapy works better than meds as does exercise and EMDR, CBT or DBT. 3. That you can die if you take MDMA with an antidepressant from serotonin syndrome. 3. That having these illnesses and having these meds not work for you will both make you more likely to be an addict because if all you've wanted since you were little is just to have thoughts like everyone else instead of loops of negativity or counting or dire thoughts (like with the OCD I would get a thought of the worst thing imaginable like when I was a kid it was always "I killed my cat" and then I would feel guilty and hug her and cry like I had done it. OCD can be weird) and you get your wisdom teeth out and they give you Vicodin and all the sudden it's a year later and you are still only taking 6 a day but you are going to school full time and doing great at work and have a ton of friends and no one has ever been prouder of you because this is something that makes your mind like it should be but…. Really they should be ashamed of you and you can't get any one day and get something else instead and it all comes crashing down from there and before you know it you will be attending your college graduation ceremony in the morning and on a plane to rehab that same afternoon. 4. That pot could help. But not every day all day. 5. Meditation could help. 6. The mind and the body are connected and your rep in your family as the girl who cried wolf cos you had tummy aches from 8 to 12 with no explanation is undeserved because it was anxiety. 7. That there are no studies that prove that antidepressants work, and if they do work no one knows exactly why and there have been no studies of the effects of long term usage of any psychiatric medications from Ritalin to Prozac to Valium. 8. A week in detox is not the answer to being prescribed a large or small dose of a habit forming medication over a long period of time and 9. 5 to 15 minutes once every 1 to 3 months is not enough time for a doctor to spend with a patient who is not stabilized on a medication regimen 10. Women have sexual side effects from SSRISs and other meds too but they do not make Viagra for us.

  59. I went through the same thing. Then, I stop feeling for myself. And, got rid of my Anxiety. I learned my set limit with people. When, I able to walk away. I'm finally happy.

  60. My depression
    wakes up depressed
    gets to school and Is "happy"
    thinks I'm gonna be happy all day
    goes home and cries for no reason

  61. Here's another thing – Depression cannot be talked out of with idle bullshit. No "others have it worse" or "it's just a bad day" or "if you just tried, you'd feel better," etc. THAT FUCKERY DOES NOT WORK!!!

  62. I had, what I would say was, severe depression last year. I have had happier days for several months, but depression thoughts still haunt me.
    I constantly feel like I'm cursed, because a lot of bad things seem to happen to me in the most inconvenient of times.
    Sometimes I feel like my bad luck is passing on to my family, and if I were to die, their fortune would be better.
    So, while I think I have recovered well from my year of severe depression, I still haven't quite fully recovered; I still feel like a fool, and that people won't like me, and that I need to be more quiet.

  63. My mom won't let me get diagnosed because I already go to an therapist. Idk for sure if the therapist can say that I have depression or not, but if not i'll never be able to tell people i'm depressed without them getting mad at me even though i'm pretty fking sure I have depression and I also think there might be a big chance that I have anxiety.

  64. One of my friends told me, "it's not like you're one of those teenagers faking it for attention. You have a diagnosis".

    But before I got a diagnosis as an adult, I WAS one of those teenagers "faking it" and "over-exaggerating". I believed I had depression, but it took a psychologist to diagnose me for my feelings to be valid.

    When people tell me they think they have depression, I take them seriously. Especially considering they are unlikely to seek a diagnosis and treatment when everyone else is invalidating their feelings.

  65. hi.. I have not been feeling great lately… This for past couple months… And I've had the same sympthoms a lot of times before this period… I'm not saying I am depressed.. but I've been looking all over the internet of what depression is and I've done a lot of tests… What all comes out on 'depression'..
    Why I do this? Because my parents don't take me seriously and I'm afraid to talk to them…
    When I look in the past, I can clearly see that I've had a lot of downs and not a lot of ups…
    I also don't really talk about it with my few friends, because I feel like it looks like if I'm asking for attention…
    A lot of times I'm really angry at myself and I wanna run in to a wall and faint or something… I just want to forget for couple of hours… minutes… seconds…
    You said in the video, that ther're a lot of teenagers who give themselfs a stamp of: 'depression'
    Is it okey for me to say that I have a great possibility of having a depression?

    (sorry for my bad grammer btw… not my strongest part…)

  66. Hey there! A new subscriber. Now, I suffer from something known as psychotic depression and was going through one of my episodes when I saw your channel. It came as a lifesaver. I skipped one year of medical school,, because I was so incapacitated by my illness. Obviously being an Indian, we have it much worse here. Mental illness is a taboo here and I get many insensitive comments, unfortunately mostly from my immediate family, my friends on the other hand are much more supportive and sensitive. I look forward to exploring your channel and healing with you 🙂

  67. Every time I tell my parents that something is difficult to do because of my depression they act like I'm using it as an excuse.

  68. I've always known I can be really depressed a lot of time, but I'd never admit or thought that I would suffer from severe depression. But today when I talked about it to my best friend, she said:" man I always knew you had that but I always try to avoid talking about it because I'm afraid you're going to leave me one day". And that's when I realize, am I that severe already? I guess it is kinda hard to acknowledge it, but I feel a lot better now that I know what I problem really is, instead of constantly self-blame and repeat the same stuff that makes me feel worse everyday. Thank you for the vid =)

  69. Ah, the truth of depression on the other side after seeking treatment. I was on meds for a short 3 days before decided to quit it entirely because of the adverse side-effects while I was rushing a semester submission (and I was in my final year in a design course). I’ve been in talk therapy for a year now w/o meds, and it’s been quiet this week, the year hasn’t be great, and I would doubt my own improvements comparing to last year’s shit-show.

    Lessons learnt, since my family isn’t aware at all of my depression and anxiety, have a strong and trusted support group/team. Because half the time your own thoughts aren’t trustworthy.

  70. Yea, a lot of people think depression is not as seirous as it seems. Because in their mind they're like: "Depression is an another word for sadness".

  71. for anyone who took comments first for an answer
    its mainly cos' they think people will judge them, or think they will tell everyone…
    the main reason i hate telling people about it is because it does'nt really help.. so i shut up about about it

  72. What they don't tell you about depression is that you'll get blamed by all of those closest to you as if it's your own fault for the way you feel, when in reality, it's those closest to you who are often the cause of the depression in the first place.

  73. My depression often leaves me apathetic, numb, and empty. To the point where, when I was at boot camp and I was getting discharged for it, I was walking and pacing so much it was like I was a zombie and other girls told me I was creepy.

  74. i mean I'm sad for the kids that pretend being depressed cause they're gonna realize one day 1. what a stupid shit to do, and 2. what a fucking waste of time. But still, I thank god they're actually not depressed man,…. I truly wish this to no one.

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