Why are Anxiety and Depression Connected? | Kati Morton

hey everybody today we’re going to talk about depression and anxiety and why they seem to be so connected but Before we jump into that do you know I wrote a book it’s called are you okay and it’s available for pre-order now in the book I talk about all things mental health-related like what’s the difference between mental health and mental illness how do we diagnose depression and anxiety what type of treatment should I get if I am struggling and also how to manage toxic relationships so click the link at the top of the description and pre-order now by pre-ordering you get signed book plates and some special giveaways so hop on it now let’s jump into today’s topic now by simply watching my diagnosis videos about depression and anxiety you can easily think that they are vastly different on one hand a depressed person doesn’t like doing anything they used to they can feel hopeless and sad and have changes in their diet and sleep patterns person with anxiety can feel like they’re living in a state of extreme agitation being on edge most of the day and worrying about anything and everything happening in their life these two mental illnesses seem to be on the opposite ends of the spectrum not related to one another at all however it’s important to note that statistically speaking the most common form of depression is actually what we call agitated depression meaning that someone will feel both hopeless empty and lack enjoyment while also feeling on edge irritable and worrying about all things going on in their life many of my patients who are struggling with agitated depression feel like they’re caught in a terrible cycle because they’ll feel bad and lonely and empty etc then they’ll pick a fight with someone who tries to help them or support them because they’re just feeling like total and then go right back to feeling terrible again and that cycle just goes and goes and goes and many people also share how they’ll be tired all day feeling low and completely unmotivated but then at night I can’t sleep I even had a patient back in the day who struggled to stop her mind from running through each and every conversation she had had that day and how she could have been better more understanding or or less awkward this can be exhausting and I know many of you have told me the same thing that you feel tired all day and then you can’t sleep at night ah so annoying now it’s not only the agitated depression that connects anxiety – depression research also shows that this link has more to do with how those with depression and anxiety manage stress whenever we are bombarded with the stress in our life those with anxiety depression tend to deal with it through avoidance meaning when stress comes our way and we’re pushed into our fight flight or freeze response we choose flight I mean think about it neither depression or anxiety is decisive confident or pushy and to take it even further anxieties characterized by avoidance I mean if we know something’s gonna make make us anxious or upset we’re gonna avoid it obviously and when depressed we don’t think very highly of ourselves or our abilities and therefore we tend to avoid situations or challenges rather than jump right in in the therapy world we call that withdrawal so you can see that with anxiety your obsessions about failure our fear Laden whereas with depression your rumination reflects intense discouragement to the point of hopelessness or despair but in both cases you’re feeling overwhelmed because of lack of self-confidence and that’s the real issue behind feeling overwhelmed like the root of the root you know how I’m always talking to get to the root of the root of the issue and so if that’s the case behind feeling like this it can in turn lead us to either anxiety depression or a veritable combination of these two painful feelings furthermore much of the symptoms of depression and anxiety really do overlap here are just some of the symptoms you will see in both diagnosis sleep disturbance cheerfulness worry loss of appetite loss of sex drive lack of motivation body aches difficulty concentrating and that’s just to name a few so it is easy to see why many of us find ourselves toggling back and forth between depression to anxiety and even experience and them both at the same time or on the other hand possibly being diagnosed with one when we really have the other but like anything I talk about I always want to end with what we can do to better manage the symptoms so let’s get into that oh and also I know that we have a lot of new community members welcome so if you have a question or topic that you want me to talk about please search my name in any keywords associated with your question or issue I have over a thousand videos so chances are I’ve already talked about it okay now into the tips and tools number one since our hypothesis is that lack of self confidence and our flight response is what’s leading us to having or anxious or depressive symptoms you knew this tip was coming notice your self-talk it’s so common that we just believe thoughts like I’m lazy or my feelings are stupid or I’m not good enough start paying attention to how you speak to yourself and maybe start using bridge statements bridge statements are things that you say to yourself when the positive or completely opposite things don’t feel like real right or attainable so for example if we’re struggling with the thought I’m not good enough a bridge statement would be I may not be as bad as I think I am I mean it’s possible we don’t have to say I’m amazing and I’m way more than enough I love myself because we won’t believe that let’s just be honest right and yes you know I’ve talked about faking until I make it and that does help some people but most of us need a bridge to get us there and so that’s what those statements are so I encourage you to give it a try try to notice the five most common negative thoughts you have and argue back with some thoughtful bridge statements and then after some time you’ll be able to argue back with positive ones or better yet maybe you won’t even have those nasty thoughts at all anymore number two getting into talk therapy it can really be so helpful I promise having someone we can go to to talk with who doesn’t know anything other than what we share with them can be so life-changing now obviously we need to make sure that we like our therapists that we feel they’re a good fit for us but getting them to talk therapy can help us better understand our anxiety or depression and make sure that we’re properly diagnosed remember I always talk about how important it is for us to spend time with a clinician meaning like therapist counselor psychologists whomever we have to spend a lot of time with them before they can truly diagnose us so allow yourself to make sure they’re good fit and feel like they really listen to you and then talk about your diagnosis and make sure that you both agree on it and a therapist can also help us manage those symptoms that we’re talking about they find CBT to be a really hopeful style of therapy so feel free to ask your therapist if they utilize that style as well and if you’re wondering what CBT even is I’ll link my video about it in the description below tip number three while medication cannot make us like ourselves or feel more confident it can help alleviate the other symptoms of anxiety or depression that we may be experiencing I’ve talked about this a lot in the past but if we feel like we’re just drowning in the symptoms unable to even implement one of the tips that our therapists or other mental health professionals given us medication can be that life raft can help you get your head you know just above water enough so you can finally breathe and do the work that you’re gonna need to do to get better and I do not encourage just if you’re wondering I don’t encourage people to only be on medication and not be in therapy because medication when it comes to mental health issues doesn’t really fix anything it merely masks the symptoms that tell us something’s wrong and so working together medication and therapy I believe to be the most beneficial and research does to just f.y.i and forth and finally resourcing now I’ve been talking about this more and more when it comes to trauma therapy but I honestly believe that resourcing could be beneficial to anyone working on themselves resourcing is really just a fancy way of saying that we need to have places people and things we can reach out to or do when we start to feel bad this could be a happy place that we go to in our mind or petting an animal if that always calms us down it doesn’t works for me or even in your therapy appointments that place could be like a safe haven to go to in your mind or to show up for your appointment and the more resources that we have the better and also making sure that these things we can do regardless of the time of day is really important too because we all know the nights can be the toughest and yes these are similar to distraction techniques or coping skills but they’re just a little bit deeper these need to be things or people that can help pull us out of those negative thoughts spirals and keep us feeling grounded fairly quickly so take some time consider what your resources are and write them down so they’re available when you need them and I hope you found this video helpful as always let me know down in those comments below how you experienced the connection between anxiety and depression or do you think they’re complete different and not connected at all how does it feel to you and most importantly what has helped you to better manage it thank you so much for watching and I will see you next time bye

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  1. Thank you for discussing the importance of medicine and talk therapy in combination! I so appreciate the way you frame this issue – while not every person struggling with anxiety and/or depression will need medication, many do need that help to reduce symptoms to a point at which they are able to implement the tools and techniques they learn in therapy. In this way we are able to learn, practice, and internalize new ways of thinking, feeling, and behaving. Then, when we are ready to wean off the medicine, we have a stronger support system in place to help us develop and maintain a higher quality of life. So much research shows a huge benefit when therapy and medicine are combined!

  2. when i feel like i just cant shut down my head or brain to sleep i ''use'' ASMR oh boy i fall asleep everytime helpet me so much

  3. Hi Kati. I was recently diagnosed with HIV in August. I'm only 18 and at fist everybody kept freaking out about my psychological state. One of my older gay friends mentioned that the diagnosis alone can be considered a traumatic event. This got me wondering what are the psychological effects of being diagnosed with a life threatening disease. Is there anything I should know on potentially dealing with these problems in the future? Right now I'm still processing it and I'm not sure what to make of it. I am on medication for my HIV btw.

  4. I wanted to say thank you. Your videos are a great help to me as they help reinforce, and explain in a different way, that is helpful, what my therapist is already telling me. I will be rewatching this to catch a little bit more, but again – thank you.
    ~ 7ohn

  5. "you feel tired all day and you can't sleep at night" Yup, that's why I'm watching this past midnight right now. 🙁

  6. Hi Kati, I am 18 and have struggled with anxiety since I was about 11 and depression since I was about 16. My grandma passed away a month ago and my feelings have escalated a bit. However, I’ve been seeing a therapist for almost a year and we’ve worked on the bridge statements, but what has really helped me is art therapy or dance. I’ve been dancing since I was 4 and now I teach dance. Sometimes it’s hard for me to put feelings into words or to tell myself positive things so I put on positive music (my fav, Colbie Caillat) and I color in a book, paint, or dance. 🙂

  7. I’d like to see a video on the best way to help a person with depression and anxiety.. I have a friend, who I think has a mix of both.. they keep going through the cycle of wanting to talk and then flips to pushing everyone ahead or trying to cause a fight.

  8. I tried watching this video but had to stop because it was making me too depressed and anxious. I'll try watching it again later.

  9. The thing about running through all the conversations — so me. I believe it was also related to my OCD. I couldn't move on to any other task or conversation until I had gone through each sentence in my head. Was I awkward? Was I rude? Did I say the wrong thing? Exhausting.

  10. I started getting mental help just a couple days ago, and I have severe depression and high anxiety… Thank you Kati!!

  11. I’m happy to subscribe and start watching your videos. This one in particular is relevant to me and I found it very helpful. The timing is a little ironic as well. I hate to admit it but I never seen your content until I saw you on Shane’s series and after your video with Jason and Trisha but The world works in mysterious ways. Im glad I found your channel. Thank you

  12. I have both depression and anxiety, I just got a ESA cat about a month ago and he really helps me a lot I cuddle him and play with him alot!!!

  13. What is the difference between being depressed and being just really really sad? How do you know if you suffer from depression?

  14. Hi, I've struggled with depression since I was 15 (20 years old now) and I've never considered myself to be someone who has anxiety. I connected anxiety with being afraid of absolutely everything all the time and I'm someone who usually when afraid of something wants to do it so I can overcome my fear. But also i literally relate to everything you say in this video. And in fact the last year was my freshmen in university. I study computer science and it was really difficult for me to get used to studying so much and to organize my time . I started having hard time and failing and for the first time in my life I felt like I just froze from fear . I was so scared that I was gonna fail and that people will see that . My reaction was to just stay in my dorm for weeks without moving from my bed and doing absolutely nothing . My university offers the chance to repeat your first year if you fail so that is exactly what I'm doing and I'm doing better so far but my confidence is out the window and the thought that I just threw away a year of my life and I'm a failure is constantly haunting me . In the hole process of worrying so much about university i developed this lump in my throat that is constantly choking me . I've seen doctors and I've done blood tests but everything comes clear so they tell me it is just stress and that I need to not stress so much . If only it was that easy to just do it .

  15. I had a bad experience with counseling and I’m too anxious to go back. I avoid making an appointment or tell myself I’m fine with out it but doctors are recommending it soo do you have a video about overcoming the fear of counseling especially after a traumatic experience

  16. My anxiety has only gotten worse over the past 6months,find myself avoiding so many situations and being distant to most of my friends

  17. What if I relate to them All? What if I say yes to most of the symptoms described in your videos on different types of depression ECT also bipolar

  18. I foud out your vídeos and these are so great and this help me to much tank you for all your advice and i wanna say Gracias eres buena y todos alguna vez necesitamos de un buen consejo saludos desde la ciudad de México greeting from México city

  19. Bridge statements are really helpful. Convincing myself “they’re actually probably not talking about how ugly I am” moved to “maybe sometimes I look fine” to once in a blue moon “hey just in this moment, I’m kinda cute”. I still don’t like myself. But bridge statements are just one way to start easing yourself away from the blinding self hatred space.

  20. I found that just watching those feelings of depression and anxiety like something that is happening and not trying explaining it or anything makes me feel better. Or even not saying that it is bad to feel that way. I think the trick is in not calling it bad. Main trap that I was falling in when I first time got really depressed was that I gave it too much importance. Now I'm more in a ah it's fine it will go away eventually.

  21. Woah I feel like I have anxiety now.. I was already depressed at 11 but I have came out of that. I don’t know if I should see a therapist since I’m only 13 and I haven’t told my parents.

  22. Anyways, my question is kinda tough. Why do I always feel like I’m trying to push away from people in my life. (including my therapist) I kinda like the idea that they are trying harder than I am to make me feel better. If that makes sense.

  23. I’ve recently passed my driving test first time and my theory test first time. Now I have anxiety with driving because I haven’t been driving for a while but my depression is stopping me from getting back behind the wheel because I just don’t feel motivated to even get back with driving. I’ve always had no confidence in myself ever since I was in school. I have comprehension problems. I find it hard to understand things and I think that contributes to my anxiety with driving. I just don’t trust myself to be good at something and that in itself will cause depression 😔

  24. Dear Kati, could you please talk a bit more about having a partner with depression? In a previous video you mentioned “understanding and support”. But at the same time you shouldn’t stop think about yourself, take care or else you spiral down your own rabbit hole. How to fulfill your wishes and needs while supporting your partner with strong and specific needs and very unpredictable mental state? It can become very overwhelming and feel as if you’re supposed to have the energy to cope for both of you. I would appreciate opening this discussion.

  25. I have anxiety and depression and I deal with extreme moments of stress. I am in the process(with the help of my therapist) of figuring out exactly what that means for me so I can better deal with it. I wanted to say thank you for helping me in making this process a bit easier on me and helping me understand what it all means. Because of these videos i am able to understand what my therapist needs from me and how I help her help me. Again thank you so much, this has been extremely eye opening for me.

  26. Did you Kati or anyone care that I am so sick and in so much mental pain? no its not possible and it doesnt matter cause I am only 1 person out of billions of people so I dont matter at all. The dynamics of life are not good. So many suffer way too much and its not wrong to want out of it.

  27. Hi Kati, thank you so much for this video! I’ve had the worst semester of college yet because of these two crippling conditions. Could you please do a video specifically on the feeling of paralysis that takes over and prevents you from getting anything done. I’m studying to be a therapist myself and know a lot about the symptoms of both anxiety and depression and functional impairments. But what has stumped me is this feeling of paralysis. It’s almost as if it is impossible to physically move a muscle to do anything. I’m not sure if this is related to psychomotor agitation and retardation, or if it has a different cause. If you could please explain this further and how to overcome it, I would really appreciate it.

  28. Omg you got everything Right it's crazy. You really help me feel hopeful. But self talk is sooo hard…I haven't been to School in a year(I missed my last year) and I feel so lazy and stupid because everyone tells me that I don't use my brain while I'm home…I just don't know what to do. I'm not really passionate about something and I feel so helpless and boring. We've been on it for 1 and a half years now. It all started when I had a sort of Panic attack in the bus on my way to School and my doctor told me that I was heavily underweight. So the first half year we tried to find out what was wrong with me because we didn't know if it was physical.We went to a bunch of doctors but they couldn't find anything. Then Depression and anxiety came up. I went to a lot of psychiatrists to get better but it never worked…they Always focused on my weight and called me anorexic and Always made me feel bad for not being in School. I want to be a Teenager and go to School but it's so hard…I didn't have Therapie yet so how would I be better? But everyone tells me that I should be already. I just feel so depressed,insecure and helpless. People make me feel like I missed my whole life already because of this year and it's so overwhelming. I've been Pretty suicidal in the past but not anymore. I even found letters that I wrote from when I was 12 where I wrote how useless I feel. I can't remember writing them but I guess I felt that way longer than I thought. I'm 15 Right now and I wanted to ask if you had any advice? I'm german so I'm very sorry for my bad english. Thank you for hearing me out.

  29. I have both. Music has always been what keeps on the right path. I write metal music about my life/experience struggling with this in hopes to help others and bring awareness. Great video! You got a sub from me! m/

  30. Hi Kati, I',ve been having a hard time recently and I really think that I need help but idon't know how to get it. i tried contacting my Medical Insurance and going to a psycologist and it was terrible, i feel really uncomfortable and i end up knowing more about him that the other way around… the people around me doesn't believe in therapy but I think I need it, but i don't know how to reach out to a different one.Can you advice me how to look for it? Thank you.

  31. I was diagnose with depression and anxiety and Social anxiety but I don’t really understand why and how and where it comes from

  32. I've preorder your book and I always looking forward to knowing more to help. Thank you for helping. 🦃🥧 Happy Thanksgiving.


  34. I get avoidant bc I get overwhelmed. This makes sense.
    Your so positive and compassionate aboout your videos. Thank you your videos are so helpful.

  35. I hate when anyone talks badly about you for being on youtube. Im not someone who can always afford to see my therapist so on the in between weeks or even months i love being able to turn on your videos to get tips i havnt heard or even maybe forgot.

  36. I do “fake it till I make it” I do have a mini break down ever few months cause it’s a lot of work but overall I feel a lot better with my life… but it also took. A very long time. Before I noticed the difference and years of therapy helped me a lot

  37. Thank you so much for this video!!! My family is finally understanding what's going on with me and accepting that I might need help ( they thought I was being dramatic or simply lying before). I'm finally able to realize I'm not the only one. THANK YOU!

  38. Hits home.. It hurts. Heh…….

    Past makes us wanna die of regrets.. And future makes us depressed out of anxiety (fear of future)..

    Maybe I'm wrong. But its kinda like that for me

  39. Yesterday , I checked up into psychiatrist
    I got diagnosed with MADD ( Mixed Anxiety Depression Disease )
    I suffered with them since after mid term test semester
    I felt empty , hopeless , want to die , and bad sleeping but I felt anxious , panic and I became neurotic until now.

  40. I really appreciate you taking the time to do these videos. I have been struggling for years and finally broke down and went to a Dr. I’m now taking medicine which honestly has been a lifesaver. I was truly drowning.
    Just this week I went to my first therapy appt. I’m encouraged that things can improve but apprehensive over what’s wrong. Is it just Depression or is it more than that? Idk but I’m going to stick w treatment bc I have no other option at this point.

  41. Usually I avoid for a long time in hope maybe with time the situation will be less triggering (which doesn't really work) and then I go for it despite the outcome on my mental state during/after. That's why getting my driver's license took me over 3 years (and why I did it late in my life) Last months before passing my driving test was HELL in my head.

  42. I struggle with both anxiety and mild depression that often comes and goes. I’ll do really well for a week or two and suddenly I find myself hating myself and having panic attacks that are so bad I hyperventilate, throw up, shake, and scratch at my skin. I’ve found a few ways to cope (I am not on medication or in therapy)and journaling has me curious. Do you recommend journaling for depression/anxiety? Do you have any tips for it?

  43. I literally just bought your book within the first 2 mins of this video cause you just described me ☹️

  44. These videos are a life saver. So many people might have anxiety , depression or both and not know it .

  45. Depression can be really hard to overcome, I've definitely been there. If anyone is going through depression and surfing YouTube for videos check out my videos. Hopefully they can help. Thanks for this video!

  46. Your channel has a lot of useful information that is otherwise difficult to find on youtube. Thanks a lot on doing such videos there are very few therapists on youtube who can guide us correctly on what mental health looks like.

  47. my resource is violent video games that make me mad, what should I do to change it? I like videogames but it’s not helping but instead hurting me even more.

  48. I get what she is saying but at the end of the day ? It is down to you and you alone to fight your own battle and it is so hard. Done cbt, on medication and workout 7 days a week and still get days where it's just too much. It's a a journey, it's who you are, you can only try and make your day live able. Sometimes a rock myself to sleep and I'm nearly 30 years old, I'm so done with these self help videos. Trust me I've watched and put my heart and soul into trying to make these dark feelings go away but they don't ever fully disappear, they just go on holiday then come back. As long as I'm not so anxious that I wanna die, that's a good sec, minute, hour, day for me and I take it one day at a time. Take my pills and hold on and hope for the best. Peace and love to everyone xxx

  49. My depression and anxiety have come to the point where whenever I need to eat/sleep, my body doesn't react as hungry/sleepy as normal but racing and downward spiral thoughts instead. So now whenever I feel like a thousand thoughts racing through my brain, I'll get to check when the last time I eat is, or when the last time I sleep is. Hope this would help..

  50. #katiFAQ I am diagnosed with Mixed Anxiety and Depressive disorder but can't find enough material on it to actually understand what's happening with me. Since I went to my therapist for my anxiety disturbing my day-to-day activities she's focusing more on working on my anxiety right now but whenever I try to do the homework she gave me, or change my thinking patterns to avoid anxiety, I get depressed. Help!

  51. Depression never lets me forget that something is wrong. What state of mind could be more fertile an environment for fostering anxiety? Something is always wrong with me=it's always a ripe time for another anxious freak-out. ~Paul

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