Why Dating With Depression Is So (Bleeping) Hard – People Watching #3

This is going to be awesome. I know! Not only did I find a non-crazy guy on a dating site But you’re actually real as well! Well, you should still– Scan your entire Twitter history for problematic bullshit, And then Google your name and quotes along with things like ‘court date’ and ‘multiple wives’ and ‘triple homicide’? Yep! Way ahead of you. Zero hits by the way. Ha, right on. So, I’ll see you tonight. Really looking forward to it. Me too. I can’t wait Who is that? Oh, you can switch out the meat in any of the burgers for vegetarian things. I love that about this city. Sorry, I’m just pretending to find the menu super interesting instead of– Instead of capitulating to awkward silence Oh, I know. Wow, they list the calories of everything, hmm Hmm Wow, 750 Calories in a mushroom, who would have thought? Yeah, it’s all right. This is why the first line of my dating profile was like, ‘Hi. I have terrible problems’ Just getting that one out in front. Oh, did you ever read that Jon Ronson book about shame? Yes! Oh my God! It’s like, yeah, just own it, people don’t care what you did They just want to be superior to someone so don’t play into it. Sorry I didn’t mean to imply you have anything to be ashamed of though. Oh, I do, dude I was in a nerdcore band for like a year once Literally rapping in a fake English accent because the entire point of it was three people were too afraid to be authentic [cockney accent] I’m like mock when the chick goes on, I divided the squares and I’m octo-gone Okay, that is hilarious Tsh, no, it really isn’t. It’s just one of those abandoned projects on the way to finding your voice. [cockney accent] and this is not my voice Well, whatever. This is already ten thousand times better than the last date I went on Yeah? I just tend to assume I’m 100 times worse than everyone else. It’s kind of a depression-anxiety thing I guess? One word. You’re not getting one without the other, I don’t know why there are two separate words now that I think about it, but I’m always thinking about it Please interrupt me. I totally get it. Like I’ve known people. I’ve had my moments, It’s just hard to conceptualize what it’s like for someone who has it worse, but I want to try at least. Thanks Yeah I don’t know there needs to be some kind of catch-all term for the whole anxiety-doubt-fear-self-hatred-self-sabotage ball of wax Yikes, ‘ball of wax’. There’s a hot new lingo of 1920 ones. Bloomers, am I right? Um, anyway, yeah, when you’re talking depression It’s just a whole thing of not feeling like there’s a point to doing anything because they’re so shitty or the world is so shitty and you can’t stop telling yourself that even though you know it’s not true It’s not true like, it’s not, but you just want to believe for whatever reason. It’s not true. All night you’ve been apologizing for like, standard things I know! a blanket or a line where I apologize for apologizing you can at least somewhat Take it as a compliment and that I’m so afraid of losing And generally anxious around you and then I’ll eventually let myself be comfortable around you in like three years. I can wait, I mean, I can’t wait. I mean, you know what I mean Thanks Hey, there, are whole countries like that. You know I read it in a guidebook about Denmark once They’re all like an old ketchup bottle at first nothing comes out, and then eventually all of it comes out all at once so yeah Ketchup! That’s amazing. Yeah, that’s kind of me for sure except no one’s willing to keep shaking the bottle I love metaphors actually. Like with depression, there are a lot of comic strips I could send you that, that one thing where depression is like a broken hand that people keep telling you to just get over. Yeah! I’ve seen that I think ‘Oh, just man up’, because that’s the thing Oh, I know I actually have my own metaphor for it though. It’s like this thing where… Did you ever watch that show the x-files? Oh yeah back in the day for sure? I actually didn’t but yeah back in the olden times of actually using your TV back in 1920 I did that thing where you randomly watch a show you’ve never seen and then like two years later You randomly decide to watch it again, and you change the channel, and it’s the – the exact same episode. Yes! Oh my God, so yeah, I literally seen one episode twice But it’s the one where x-files and lady x-files are trapping this big fungus thing And it makes them hallucinate and they can’t tell if they’re awake or dreaming and it keeps tricking them into thinking they’ve escaped But they’re still trapped. That’s kind of the basis for my depression metaphor It’s the thing where you keep slipping into another reality, you don’t notice and then it’s too late Oh, okay, so like you’re telling yourself You suck, even though you know you don’t and even though you know It’s not your real voice saying that. Yeah, it’s like. It’s not like you’re trapped in a fungus though It’s like you’re sitting in your living room, and you’re talking to someone about your problems And they’re just laying into you about how shady you are you might as well not even bother dating because they’re just going to be Wasting everyone’s time, and you’re kind of nodding along, and then you look up And you realize you’ve been talking to like depression guy You were just sitting there reading and this horrible dude snuck in your front door sat down and started saying shit to you and it Took you like two days to notice and now it’s too late and you’ll be sad for weeks weeks if you’re lucky sad if you’re lucky Depression guy, I’m just picturing like the stereotypical mustache villain who ties people to train tracks Yeah, exactly except he’s dressed more suddenly like he belongs there. His amouflage is all articulates too. He’s like hipster mustache villain, the modern version, he blends in so you don’t see it coming But then he suddenly Annihilates yourself estime before you could remember that it keeps happening. That’s… Kind of how I see it anyway I swear to God I have to think of depression as this outside entity that tricks you onto forgetting reality because Intellectually, I do know that I’m alright, that I’m good and kind to everyone that The number one symptom of being a bad person is not worrying about how good of a person you are. There’s just this total asshole that keeps sneaking in and ruining your life and you’re trapped. And then suddenly, it’s been a week since I left the house and the cycle continues. Yeah, it’s some X-files stuff for sure, right Oh, What was your rapper name by the way? God, “lady on a trump” Ha, Right on, right on! You see, Shametastic! It does help me understand, though, actually the whole depression guy thing. Does it? Come upstairs Innocently, not suggestively. [cockey English acent] I don’t knock the normal very first date, .. [nonsense] This would be I don’t do nothing? I don’t do nothing Does my psychotic metaphor actually make sense? Hi, I have bitchly lose touch with reality. Pretty good date, huh? Yeah, for sure. It makes sense. I think this date was pretty great. If it rhymes it must be true. Alright, thanks! Like I said, when the server shows up and you both forgot to decide what the order that’s like the best possible sign, right? Yeah, I think maybe it was a good date actually. Well in retrospect, it wasn’t a perfect date. You did kind of overshare a lot actually. Oh God, I did deny I’m sorry, I just, I don’t know, I – Sometimes people are just kind of politely humoring you. I know it seems like everything was fine at the restaurant but if you really go over all the stuff he said I was at least semi articulate though, wasn’t I? I really tried to explain the whole depression thing and not be all ashamed. There are different kinds of depression too though, right? Oh my God, yeah… I just trying to kind of conceptualize my own situation But yeah some people just have terrible chemical things that close it or they have issues maybe from childhood? Well exactly. That’s why metaphors are so juvenile. Whatever your good intentions people are going to assume you’re speaking for everyone Oh no…You’re right What’s the difference between a mission and ignorance? People these days tend to search for easy answers Convenient little blurbs that can explain huge complex issues, and you’re just doing that Yeah… You should have put something like that in your dating profile. How you’re really kind of self-absorbed and naive How you’re really immature and whoever date’s you is going to have to put up with a lot and then you have to ask yourself: If your dating profile requires so many disclaimers at the front of it Then, there’s probably not much point in having one… Because you just be wasting somebody’s time. Other people aren’t like you. They’re more mature and centered and a lot happier You can’t just show up with all your issue and expect them to tolerate you. Yeah… There’s a certain level you have to get to before you’re entitled to love and mutual support right? I can imagine it though? I just went on a date that went pretty well… That was me, I can do it I believe I can do it. That was like a week ago He actually texted half a dozen times before he gave up… There must be a new record I told him about you, you know. He wasn’t bothered You assume you know how people will react but you’re never right you’re just… You assume they’re telling you the truth though Generally only the insults are people telling you how they really feel I remember it though that was me. Just like I can always imagine the worst when I’m tunned up right, I can at least picture the best when I’m severely depressed Hey, it rythmes at least… Barely Well, I at least want to believe Hey, I’m hannon, and I play Saffron the show people watching and if you liked that episode come check out Facebook.com Slash sub normality where you can find more of our stuff? or [see] people watching teams

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  1. I isn't hard to date depressed. I was quite depressed last year and dated two girls in that period and nothing was hard about that. What the fuck is this all about then??!!!?!?!??!!??

  2. im kindah scared she looks like me and we spoke the same. its like someone obsereved me for a day and made this video…..im scared guys and this whole thing from start to finish gave me anxiety.

  3. OMG shut up about your depression, we get it. Did YOU have to carry your dead friends to an extraction point in a combat zone?

  4. That's so sad and so True. Been there, done that.. too many times.
    Thanks for this animation!
    It's shows me i'm not the only one, who has that shitty relation or whatever it called with this hipster mustache person.
    Good luck to everybody who feel this too .

  5. Just discovered this, and now I'm kinda creeped out because I was just thinking about my anxiety, depression and relationship issues in my head without searching anything about it online, and then Youtube recommended this to me…
    But anyway, that ending hit me hard. I'm a good looking and pleasant guy who can be funny and clever, and numerous women have been interested in me, but then the voice in my head tells me I'm actually shitty and just imagining she likes me and then I just chicken out because I can't handle the thought of being rejected.

  6. this is kinda how my life works you just never see it coming and when it or he does you just fall in the same trap over and over again ,, easy to fall in super hard to get out.

  7. I literally talk too much and when they ask to go to the bathroom I regret everything and then overthink every word I said then conclude to "they hate you go home they don't want you here"

  8. My heart dropped the moment I realised what was happening. The exact same thing happens to me, that condescending voice in your head that reasons with you, and is so logical and reasonable as well – even when it isn't. It's a struggle, but thankfully I found someone who knows exactly what the voice in my head feels like – he's got one too. Together we try and fight depression guy by telling each other about the real them, when we feel like our most authentic selves, and when we're not getting taken over by depression guy.

  9. do you ever worry that youre not happy enough with them so when they arent with you you worry that maybe because youre not happy enough they arent the one

  10. She's having both visual and auditory hallucinations as well as a disconnect from the passage of time. This seems like more then depression. Also [email protected]#_ mustache guy he used to tell me I wasn't good enough to jump out of helicopters and now I have a pair of wings on my chest.

  11. THERES A SAN JUNIPERO POSTER. Now wait just a hot second isnt this the one who had a throwaway line about wanting to be gay? Cause what straight person hangs that on the wall………

  12. I think a lot of my depression stems from the girls I date (I’m gay). I’m a senior in highschool and I’ve only had two (maybe 1 1/2) real and super short relationships and both were pretty toxic and left me feeling really shitty about myself. Not to count the numerous times girls have left me for other people or left me period during a date. I’ve given up on dating because I honestly feel like there are no people out there who actually like me for me! Or not want to hurt me. Anyways sorry, this video kind of hits hard with my depression constantly weighing me down telling me I’ll never be good enough and I’ll never find love

  13. Dear people in the comments : please don’t self diagnose with depression. Yes, you may have hard days. As we all do, yes you may feel your pain is greater than others, as most of us think. And yes ; talk to a doctor or a pyschologist before self diagnosing.

  14. Hi, today has been the day that finally triggered that impulse to end my suffering, that one woman I really really love, that one person that makes talking to someone interesting, and not some bs answer like "wow, thast nice" or some vague shit like that.

    Today, I make this decision
    some people say it cowardly to take ones life, but I think now that im standing right in the edge of this depression cliff, it takes a shit ton of courage to take ones life. I´ve endured twice now, twice the woman that I´m now married to, to cheat in a way that at least from my point of view, isn´t quite a cheat, but it feels like one too, she sending nude pictures to some random guy and the first time she actually cheated was sleeping with another random guy.

    I have 2 little girls I really dont want to lose, can´t bear to not see them anymore, so divorce is not my first choice, and well, why am I writting this tonight?, well because that one person I love so much, that one person that makes my entire life shine like it has a purpose, just now, wanted me to somehow forget all my love towards her and go back to been "friends" because she really enjoys my company and the way we talk to each other and shit.

    yeah, trying to friendzone me after you´ve shown me true love, yeah ain´t happening baby.

    plus add the cheat after I´ve literally done everything I can to make her (my wife´s) life much much better than her bachelor life ever was.

    I didn´t get the job that I was hoping for because "I wasn´t called earlier" and now I got job at the place I wanted, but 3 levels down.

    anyhow, my life is just garbage overall, if It weren´t for my two girls, I woul´ve killed myself a lot earlier, but now, this pain, the pain of failure, the pain of having your soulmate wanting you to become her friend so that she can fucking ask you fucking questions of why her fucking love life sucks ass, even though I literally just told her I would fucking die for her isnt enough.

    neither my family nor friends take enough effort to notice if my miserable life has a purpose, If Im ok or not, nobody does and come to think of it, why should I?

    I love this series, I always come here to grief out and cry a little in secret, alone and well, wish I had take other choices in the past.

    At least my babies wont remember me in sadness and I can go in peace knowing my death wont really matter to them as much as It would have if they were a little older.

    thanks for taking this long in reading my pathetic life.
    unfortunately I dont have a gun, and I wanna go in peace, sleep my self to death I guess.

    take care and remember, dont ignore the ones that smile the most, they´re the ones that have the biggest emotional wounds of us all.

    see you guys in the next life, if there is one.

  15. I really don't know how to feel about this video… I could relate to every single thing she said, but I was never diagnosed with depression and I can't say for sure if that's what it is… Because sometimes I can be fine. But then I'm in this state of my mind for different periods of time… sometimes days, weeks, months if something that really hit me hard happens and triggers this… But I deep down know what the reality is, and that it's all in my head, and that I was able to be ok before so I kinda just find a way to snap out of it, convince myself to be motivated. but even that takes a lot of time normally, I have a whole period of just thinking about doing stuff before I actually do them, all of it, even just washing my teeth… But like I said… I sometimes wonder if it is just me dramatizing… Because, for example, right now I've been in a period where I'm really motivated, trying to do even the smallest things… but last night I slipped and I couldn't sleep because my brain wouldn't shut up and now I just feel shitty because of putting all my thoughts and fears weight into my boyfriend… I don't know… I'm ok, I never had anything really really bad happen to me like a lot of people had… sure I've had little bad experiences but everyone has… And I know I can be fine, but it feels so momentaneous and it's exhausting knowing that it won't last and this cicle will always be repeating

  16. U personalize the voice and outsmart it. Its created in the moment you feel self cynical.

    If u start feeling depressed at 8am it was born at 7:59.

    You win because its trapped in the past.

    Mine told me I was the worst person in the world. When that failed it said the world was better off without me.

    But I care for many. That I protect and serve. So it was wrong

    Now whenever I'm depressed I just have to endure the self isolation and feelings of sadness.
    And by surrounding myself with people I can rely on….
    Combating sadness with laughter and bittersweet anime. Boom

    Fuck you Liam

    Have fun you dumb self crippling bastards.

    You either….

    Listen to the pitiful lies they're^
    Feeding you.

    Or be your own placibo vaccine

    I recomend the second

  17. Damn, this felt good to have something to relate to and seeing so many people in the comments relating to this too. I literally overthink and realize I overshare like this all of the time because I isolate myself and when I finally let someone get to know me, I open up and let it all out. I guess none of us is as alone as we think we are.

  18. Im crying right now its so fucking true and you feel like that not only on Dating but in every social relate stuff

  19. One night I started watching videos about what depression was. I literally thought I had depression. I saw all the signs of having depression and applied them to myself. I actually started acting like I was depressed… I tricked myself into being depressed for some reason. But it was like a fake version of depression. But I was just sad and hadn’t cried in a while. That was like… three years ago. I don’t know why but this reminds me of that.

  20. Idk how i clicked on but am glad I did bc I can't relate however reading the comments helps me to understand this mental disorder in short. I pray that God finds his way into your mental thoughts .Dont be sad guys he loves you and I pray you find mental peace. ❤❤✌🙏

  21. By the end I was completely all "NO DON'T LISTEN TO HIM IT'S DEPRESSION MAN, RUN RUN RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!". Sucks to be right.

  22. Depression is just a lack of feeling gods grace. If you try praying no matter how stupid it sounds, treat it like a silly experiment just ask for help, I get it god doesn’t exist, it doesn’t need to, we’ve evolved to need two things redemption which requires benevolence and trust which requires believing things are being taken care of. Belief in god solves both issues. Notice how didn’t say god solves those problems. I said belief in god. Atheists see believers as being stupid and delusional because they believe in something which is ephemeral and unprovable but the unspoken truth is that believers see atheists as stupid and delusional. Because they deny theirs any utility in faith or that believing someone loves you can make you feel more grateful and at peace. Atheists routinely choose to make fun of fighters thanking god. They thank god because in order to step into that cage you have to believe something greater than you is protecting you is keeping you from being mamed or killed. Praying can give you that small milligram of courage you need to jump out of a burning building or fight someone who’s wielding a weapon. Believing you might be protected allows you to focus on what the moment needs, like: throw this punch or dodge this kick without becoming paralyzed by all the what if’s. Your brain can’t tell you how to fight if it’s busy worrying about you getting hurt but if you believe god will protect you then you can give those worries to god, you can put them on the shelf.

    Redemption= God loves you because he made you to be as you are. He can’t love you less and importantly he can’t love you more there’s nothing you need to do to prove your lovesble, that you are ok. You are ok so you are completely empowered in this moment to forgive yourself with all the might you have to muster. Because god didn’t make a mistake when you were made he made you so you could learn from your story. If you have grief and regrets it means you learned you got what you needed to get and even though it was real bad god built you with weakness so they would become strength and the only way they become strength is if you accept gods love and his help in forgiving yourself. Again God doesn’t need to exist for this to function this is all just the power of belief doing it’s job. But if you get enough out of your prayers and supplication/devotions you will begin to know he does exist. Which might mean your delusional but your delusional that a perfectly benevolent force of unconditional love is embracing you and healing you and wants the best for you. If that’s a reason for people to look down on you it’s laugh out loud silly because that type of crazy will make you one of the happiest people in the world. So what if I have an imaginary friend he’s a very amazing Imaginary friend who makes me feel love unconditionally and empowers me to forgive myself to stop hating myself and honestly love myself and be grateful for every breath. Make fun of me all you want for not being scientific in my heart I feel good I feel loved unconditionally.

    Trust: our brains are really bad at thinking about multiple things and most of what we imagine is true ends up being wrong. Atheists spend time thinking about billions of things that they have no control over. As a result they are depressed because the weight of the world is on their shoulders. They honestly believe that if they don’t figure out how to make it work it won’t work. It doesn’t matter if they can’t control it, they just feel they need to figure out how to control it. They are always planning and analyzing and strategizing about every little thing all this intense thinking is called stress and neuroticism. Believers TRUST that God is taking care of all the stuff they don’t have control over so they only focus on what they can change in any given moment. This gives the, the ability to relax and trust that as long as they work hard at the things they can change god will take care of the rest. They don’t have a billion thoughts moving through their head they probably have two. They don’t worry about nuclear war, or epidemics or planes going down because they trust something is watching over them. Just imagine how wonderful it must be to believe that the thing that created the universe is totally benevolent and is always looking out for you, totally unscientific, almost certainly delusional but to them they know they are being taken care of, looked out for, that they are on a well laid path, they are where they are supposed to be and they are totally protected. No matter how delusional or stupid you think it is. They sleep perfectly, they don’t worry when they don’t have the money because they trust god will show them the way no matter how idiotic and stupidly delusional. They don’t worry about anything but doing a good job. In other words all the stress of your atheist life to,them that’s delusional, that’s stupid, that’s idiotic. Because good is taking care of it weather you believe in him or not. The only difference is you have panic attacks and they have moments akin to being a baby in a loving mothers embrace. They Trust everything they can’t control god is taken care of and every time they get hurt or wronged they can pray to god and feel his love. And they do feel his love because that’s how imagination works; if you imagine biting into a lemon your mouth will water.

    Every single group,of people on earth before the “enlightenment” (tragic choice of words) believed in god, not because they are stupid but because it’s an evolutionary necessity. The Japanese didn’t invent the wheel but they invented Shintoism and when Buddhism came along it unified the country in a peace The lasted a century. A religion caused them to move from jutsu functionality to Do,a path or way. They rewrote their greatest technical achievements which had all been in warfare to reflect belief in god. A sword wasn’t a weapon it was an instrument of the spirit.

    Believing in god can revolutionize your life and most of the time it’s something you have to wrestle with, you have to pray and read and meditate in little skeptical bits and littlest by little you may begin to feel as if something is changing for the better. You may one day sit down to pray and notice you feel better then you did before you started and one day you might feel this strange feeling like something really big loves you intensely. The biggest lie of atheists is blind faith no legitimate believer has blind faith, they have a long history of skepticism and experience and at some point there was just too much experience to deny it. Too much evidence for it to matter if science could prove it or not. There was just so much good in there lives they stopped fighting with doubt.

    I know Christians especially but all religious people can be despicable, hateful, intolerant, bigoted, that’s because people are generally pretty terrible lost and messed up. But if you take chance if you run the stupid dumb silly experiment of praying to a god you don’t believe in, you might discover god is full of love and goodness. In which case who cares if someone said whatever to you, you pray and feel grace and know that person didn’t know the first thing about god because all they did was judge and when you feel god touch your heart the one thing your damned sure of is God doesn’t judge anyone.

  23. She talked too much. You’re suppose to chill and have fun while dating. If you need a therapist then, go to an actual therapist. 🤷🏽‍♀️😂

  24. This boy I like pushed himself away for two days we were at the talking stage and around 1 in the morning on a Monday he explained to me he was going through some stuff & wouldn’t be able to be in a relationship I woke up 15min after he sent it and I wasn’t able to click on it until 4 am . I explained to him it was okay and hope he got through it, later that day around 2 I talked to my mom about it I had thought about what he could be going through and looked up videos as to how a person could be when they are depressed, everything was coming together . But he then blocks me on Instagram and I felt so confused. I looked for many answers online as to why this could happen & looking through some of these comments makes me believe that it wasn’t me and he’s just trying to have some space from me .

  25. I always come back to this video because it a little refreshing to have a video explain me so well.

  26. I can't even date….like I have curbed sooo many people from my intimate life because of my thoughts. Atleast she went on a date. I have tried only once and have not talked to the guy since, I've deleted all my social media and legit prayed that he find someone soo much better. We never dated, we just went out once and he was a nice person. I have a PhD in pushing people away because I believe I can be too much.

  27. Hi, I'm French and I just became so far into that show!! Like it's becoming essential for me right now to understand all the nuances of the dialogue, but I don't, I'm trying but I can't. The 2 firsts episode were subtitled in French, do you know any way to find the followings subtitled too?
    Fuck, I just don't want to pass next too that great source of emotional reflexion
    Yup and sorry for my messy comment
    Enough right now

  28. It really starts to fuck me up at 7:45. Especially the line about how you have to meet a certain "level" to be deserving of love and mutual support. It's the one I relate to the most and the one that infuriates me the most because for some people like me, we might never get there no matter how hard we try. Does that mean we're undeserving of love? That we're just supposed to feel alone for the rest of our lives and accept it because of an adversity we're constantly fighting but can't fully overcome? That's so fucked up

  29. How do you know that Depression Guy is wrong? In some cases, he might have a good point. In other cases, he is clearly not reflecting reality.

  30. When people ask me how I never had any girlfriend,you look good ,have good sense of humour ,career and I never been relationship well I will answer you today because I cry myself to sleep every once in while ,lose my drive ,and you will never know when I would never even have proper food and sleep for days with zero loss of energy in front of you.

  31. I dated a girl who used to be married but she had like a severe depression, I have dealt with depression since I was 15 y/o I grew up in a toxic marriage, I'm not going to bore you with my past, when I dated this girl everything seemed fine, she even divorced from her husband to be with me… But soon the crisis began, her jealously, her insecurities started to ruin our relationship, she got to the point to check my phone, exactly the conversation that I had with my mom… If you're already depressed I don't suggest you to date someone with your same mental illness, also don't expect to save or to be saved by someone, you're the only one who can get out of that dark place.

  32. I manage I really don't have that much depression stay busy been a year since I commented on this video looking back I'm glad I survived almost gave up so many times

  33. I just took a lady on a date and while we had a lot of fun and I really like her I think she’s amazing but I think she doesn’t like me and feel like garbage. I’ll update depending on what happens next.

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